Epilogue

Harper

 

I was on my feet and moving down the hall before my brain even registered the tiny piercing cry. "I'm here," I cooed as I tiptoed into Ellie's snug little nursery. "Mama's here, baby girl."

She was growing so fast. A fat little three-month bundle of chub, she spent her days making us laugh with her stubborn little faces.

But she spent her nights making me want to cry.

"Baby girl," I sighed as I swayed in place. Her "Baby's First Christmas" onesie was way too big on her, a gift from Uncle Rett who was still trying to figure out newborn versus infant sizing. As I swayed, Ellie made this little huffing sound, the one Gray called her "alarm bell." It usually signified the start of an even bigger cryfest and I redoubled my swaying. "Baby girl, mama just got to sleep," I soothed. "I haven't slept for more than two hours at a time in days, honey. Please, sweetheart. You need to let Mama sleep."

"Hey," Cal called softly. "You okay in here?"

I took a deep breath and held it, freezing in place as Ellie's eyelids drooped. I lifted my head to nod...

And then Ellie screwed up her face and let out a red-faced scream.

"Gah!" I cried, sagging into the rocking chair. "You were just falling asleep! I don't get it; don't you want to sleep? I want to sleep. I'm so tired, baby, you need to let me sleep."

"Harp," Cal said, gently kneeling at my side. "You've been up with her every night this week. Why don't you take a break?"

"Break?" I said. Somewhere in the past five minutes I'd started crying and suddenly my nose was dripping. "She cries every hour on the hour, how am I supposed to get a break? I've got breastmilk drying on my sweatshirt and I haven't washed my hair in…" I sniffed. "I don't even know how many days it's been since I've even showered."

Cal reached out and gently extricated the screaming bundle of our daughter from my hands. "You always tell me I'm a control freak," he said, brushing his finger up the side of my cheek. "So I'm pulling rank right now. I’ve got this. You go take a break."

"I..."

"Listen to the man, Harp," Gray said from the nursery doorway. "Ellie's got three parents, not just one."

"Guys, she might be hungry..."

"So there's milk in the freezer."

"But what if she doesn't stop..."

"Then that's our problem," Gray said, moving around to take my hand and help me to my feet. "You go lie down. It's a Christmas present."

I shook my head. "I'm not going to be able to sleep with her screaming like that. It's like, biologically impossible."

He kissed me on my temple. "Okay then, super-mom. Go take a shower. A bath." He grabbed a handful of my ass and pulled me closer. "And use that jasmine bath gel I got you."

I bit my lip. "You're really thinking about that right now?"

"I'm always thinking about it," Cal piped up over the sound of our daughter's protests. "You've never been sexier."

"Now I know you're deliriously tired too," I sighed, running my fingers through my filthy hair. "You're not thinking straight."

"When it comes to you, Harp, I've never been able to think straight," Gray said, grabbing my ass a little harder. "Now go take a shower before I change my mind about letting you go."

I stumbled away, half in confusion, half in relief. When Ellie's cries ramped up, I stopped for a moment, deliberating on whether or not I should turn back. But then I heard the low murmur of Cal fussing over her, and the creak of the nursery door as Gray headed downstairs to warm some milk and I sighed. I needed to trust them. I did trust them

Shutting the door of the bathroom went against every fierce mothering instinct I had, but as I peeled away the grimy layers of milk-crusted clothes I'd been living in, I found I felt more and more free. I flipped on the exhaust fan in the master bathroom and gave a momentary sigh of thanks that we had moved out of Cal's house almost immediately upon getting engaged, in spite of his dour pronouncements of Gray making messes there forever. Now Gray had a beautiful new chef's kitchen with lovely granite countertops to make messes on, courtesy of a newly-built house up in the hills.

We'd moved in just before Christmas and spent this morning unwrapping amidst a slew of packing boxes. The love and acceptance of our friends and family was one thing, but their scrutiny was another entirely. I felt much more comfortable living our weird little trinity away from everyone's prying eyes. We were only fifteen minutes out of town, we could still see everyone when we wanted to. On our terms.

I turned on the shower and cranked the hot water onto full blast. Billows of steam swirled around my ankles as I stepped under the spray. For a long time I just stood there, letting the water run down over my swollen breasts and the new shape of my now softened tummy. I soaped up my loofah and ran the jasmine scented body wash Gray had slipped into my stocking over my skin, letting the grime and sweat and new-mother nervousness wash down the drain. I shampooed my hair twice, then did it all over again just because it felt good.

When I turned off the water, I stood there listening. Neither Cal nor Gray had come to knock on the door and ask me anything. I listened, but heard nothing.

"It's a Christmas miracle," I whispered. Maybe they'd taken her for a drive. Sometimes a late night jaunt through the hills was all Ellie needed to reset.

I stepped from the shower and pulled on the plush bathrobe Cal had given me, then quietly poked my head out the bathroom door.

The house was silent and dark but for the lights on the Christmas tree. I padded over and unplugged it from the outlet, leaving the room washed in the blue of the moonlight reflected off the snow.

Then I turned to see that the master bedroom light was blazing.

I stepped out of the bathroom and padded down the hallway and then stopped short and pressed my hand to my heart.

They'd gotten her back to sleep without me. And now...

They were asleep. All three of them.

My tiny daughter was nestled in the very center of our gigantic, king-sized bed. Her rosebud lips were pursed with worried little baby-dreams and she suckled sweetly a few times before drawing a hitching little sigh.

On one side of her curled Gray, propped up at the very edge of the bed. His hand was just to the side of her, like it had slipped from her back as she drifted off to sleep.

On the other side of her lay Cal, curled towards Ellie with his face right up alongside her head. He looked like he'd fallen asleep singing and whispering to her.

For how long I stood there, I have no idea. I knew this was a moment I would remember for the rest of my life. Our first Christmas would always be wrapped up in this picture of my tiny daughter nestled, protected, and watched over by the two men who loved her, who I loved...and who loved me too.

 

THE END

BOOKS BY VIVIAN LUX:

Sons of Steel Motorcycle Club:

 

Rockstar Romance

TRUE: A Rockstar Romance

 

The Reckless Falls Series:

CRAVE: A Small Town Menage Romance

PLAYED: A Small Town Billionaire Novella (May 2017)

 

 

Sports Romance

 

I love to hear from my readers. 

Email me at

Friend me at

Like me at

 

 

Hey! Want to hang out with me and maybe chat about romance, hot guys and times I fall down? Want to have chances to win giveaways and have first crack at ARC offers? Then click here to