“I need you to explain this to me one more time, Gav.”
Gavin, who was lying face down on my settee, groaned. After he phoned me, I made an excuse to Alec that I had to go, then I all but ran to my car, shouting goodbye to everyone on my way. Alec knew I was on the phone to Gavin because he heard me say his name, and I could only pray that he hadn’t heard Gavin’s declaration because with his big mouth, it’d get back to Aideen before Gavin could tell her the news that she would be an auntie.
“I already told you everythin’ I know,” he said, his voice muffled as he spoke into the settee pillow. “Please, don’t make me tell you everythin’ again.”
“Who is she?”
“Who is who?”
I threw a pillow, smacking him in the back before it fell onto the floor, but he still didn’t move.
“Who is the woman you got pregnant?”
“Oh.” He grunted as he pushed up, then turned and sat on his behind, leaning his head back on the settee. “She’s just someone I was seein’. ’Er name is Kalin, you wouldn’t know ’er. She’s from Kildare.”
I frowned. “You never mentioned goin’ out with anyone.”
“We weren’t goin’ out; we were just—”
“Havin’ sex?”
“Yeah,” he replied, turning his head to look at me. “Kind of like what you and me big brother were doin’.”
I felt my cheeks burn, and Gavin snorted before he turned his head to look at me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I said, wringing my hands together. “I was goin’ to, but I hardly ever see you, and when I did, I’d chicken out … then you found out along with everyone else before I could figure out a way to form the words.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Gavin said. “You don’t need to check in with me when you fuck someone.”
I cringed. “Don’t say it like that.”
Gavin smiled. “Sorry, you don’t need to check in with me when you have sex with someone.”
“That’s better.”
He chuckled, then as if remembering why he was here, he groaned out loud. Again.
“How did this happen?”
I clasped my hands together. “Well, when a man and a woman like each other—”
“Shut up, smartarse.”
I giggled. “Sorry.”
He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. My heart went out to him, so I got up and sat next to him, putting my arm around his waist and resting my head on his shoulder.
“We’ll figure this out,” I said, giving him a squeeze. “Have you talked to Kalin? Has she let ye’know anythin’ regardin’ the baby?”
“She’s keepin’ it, and she’s six weeks along. She’s also offered a paternity test to prove the baby is mine, just in case I have any doubts. That’s as much as I know.”
“D’ye?” I pressed. “Have any doubts?”
“At first, loads,” he admitted. “Then I couldn’t remember if I wore a condom or not. We mostly got together at parties, and when we drink at one of the boss’s parties, we drink good. I’ll take the test either way, but Kalin says she’s only ever had sex with me so she knows the baby is mine.”
The boss he referred to was Brandon Daley, Keela’s uncle. I didn’t know exactly what Brandon was involved in, but I knew it wasn’t legal. My friends never spoke about him around me, not even when I asked questions, so I figured they probably had no clue what he was truly into either. Gavin knew, though—not that he would tell me.
From what I personally knew of Mr Daley, I liked. He did a lot of business with the insurance company my da worked for, and he even bought a large canvas painting off me before. I had no idea who purchased the piece until I delivered it to his house. He was a perfect gentleman, and told me he would keep his eye on my website for other pieces that caught his eye.
“You’re an eejit,” I said to Gavin. “A massive one.”
“I know,” he said. “God, I’m so dead.”
“You’re twenty-four,” I reminded him. “I don’t think you can get a hidin’ for gettin’ a girl pregnant.”
Gavin scoffed a laugh. “You don’t know me brothers and sister as well as you think you do if that’s the case.”
“This is your responsibility, not theirs, and if they have somethin’ to say, listen and then tell them to feck off.”
“Can you be with me when I tell them?”
“Me? No. I’d probably die of fear on your behalf. Aideen scares the shite outta me when she’s mad.”
Gavin burst into laughter before he hooked his arm around my shoulder and leaned in, kissing my temple.
“We don’t hang out enough.”
“No,” I agreed when he leaned back against the cushion, pulling me with him. “We don’t, and whose fault is that?”
Gavin noted my tone and sighed. “Don’t start, bear. I’m not in the mood.”
Apart from my parents, Gavin was the only other person who called me bear.
“No, I will start,” I said, annoyed. “How did we go from seein’ each other every day to seein’ each other maybe once or twice a week, if even?”
“I’m busy,” Gavin answered. “Ye’know that.”
“No, I don’t know that ’cause whenever I ask what you’re doin’, you don’t answer me.”
“Ye’know I can’t talk about what I do when I’m with the lads,” Gavin said sternly. “I told you, don’t ask ’cause I’m not talkin’ about it.”
I shook my head. “I think you shouldn’t hang around with people and do God knows what if it’s takin’ you away from your family and friends.”
Gavin frowned at me. “I’m not bein’ takin’ away from you, bear.”
A lump formed in my throat. “What if you’re involved in somethin’ one day, like somethin’ you can’t talk about, and it does take you away?”
His frown deepened, and when he saw my eyes well with tears, his lips parted.
“Please, please, don’t cry.”
Too late.
“I worry about you,” I said, wiping my tears before they had a chance to splash onto my cheeks. “I know you don’t trust me enough to confide in me about things—”
“You’re the first person who popped into me head when Kalin told me she was pregnant.” Gavin cut me off. “Not Aideen, not me brothers, not Bronagh. You, Alannah.”
I snivelled. “I suppose.”
“We’ve been friends a long time, and we’ll always be friends,” Gavin assured me, tugging me closer to him. “Just because I can’t talk about work doesn’t mean I don’t trust you, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“You’re me girl.” Gavin gave me a squeeze. “If I didn’t love you like a sister, I’d have tried me hand in bein’ your lad a long time ago.”
I shoved him jokingly while making a face of complete disgust.
“If I didn’t know any better,” he teased, “I’d think you were repulsed by me.”
“Only if I have to think of you sexually.”
I heaved, for good measure, and Gavin laughed. He didn’t need me to tell him how good looking he was because I was sure he knew it. I just couldn’t ever imagine him in a sexual way; I couldn’t do it with any of the Slater brothers either. Well, except one of those brothers.
“I have somethin’ to tell you.”
Gavin eyed me. “You aren’t shaggin’ Harley or JJ ... are you?”
I slapped his arm as he laughed at me.
“Be serious.”
“Okay.” He chuckled. “Proceed.”
“I’ve two things to tell you, but I’ll start with the lighter one.” I exhaled a breath. “Damien kissed me yesterday in the back room of the garage before he and Dante fought, and I kissed ’im back.”
Gavin whistled. “Did that fuck your head up more than it already was?”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “When we spoke a little last night, he said he’d wait for me to decide if I want to try bein’ with ’im, and of course, me mind thinks of everythin’ that happened between us and automatically shuts it down because I’m scared of history repeatin’ itself. But then I spoke to Bronagh, and she said Damien would go as slow as I needed.”
“You’d have to go slow,” Gavin pressed. “You don’t know each other at this point in your lives. People can change in six years for the better or for the worse. Startin’ fresh makes sense.”
I nodded in agreement. “It doesn’t make me any less scared, though.”
Gavin patted my leg. “What’s meant to be will be.”
“Aideen said that to me yesterday!”
“Now I know where I got that sayin’ from then.” He chuckled. “What’s the second thing you wanted to tell me?”
My ma flashed across my mind, and I swallowed. I clasped my hands together on my lap and focused my breathing.
“Me ma is sick.”
Gavin froze, his eyes widening ever so slightly. “Sick?”
“Really sick.”
His lips parted but no words or sounds escaped.
“Breast cancer,” I managed to say around the lump in my throat. “It’s in the early stages.”
“Bear,” Gavin said and reached for me, pulling me into a hug.
I took deep breaths to keep from crying all over him.
“She starts treatment soon,” I said, my voice muffled. “I don’t know anythin’ more than that, but when I go see ’er tomorrow, I’m askin’ for information on everythin’ and what the course of action is.”
Gavin kept his arm around my shoulder. “I’m so sorry that she is goin’ through this.”
“Me too, bud.”
“And your da,” Gavin growled. “The piece of shite.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” I said, and then filled him in on the conversation I had with my da over his affair after the cancer bombshell was dropped on me.
“What a fuckin’ arsehole!” Gavin exclaimed when I finished speaking.
“I know,” I agreed, “but he is right. We need me ma to focus on beatin’ ’er cancer. If she knew he cheated ... I don’t want to think of how she’d react.”
“That’s fucked up, Alannah.”
“I know.”
Gavin removed his arm from my shoulder and scrubbed his face with his hands. “I thought I was in a fucked-up situation, but you’ve taken the cake, babe.”
I smiled at him. “Your situation ends with a little baby, though.”
“A baby,” he repeated in awe. “I can’t believe I’m goin’ to have a baby.”
“When are you goin’ to tell your family?”
“No clue,” he answered. “I need to absorb it first.”
I stilled when Gavin looked at me, his gaze hard.
“Don’t tell Bronagh.”
My mouth dropped open.
“No,” Gavin warned before I could object. “She’ll let it slip to Nico, and he’ll tell Kane, and Kane will tell Aideen, and shite will kick off.”
I scratched my neck. “Bronagh and I don’t keep secrets from each other, though. Ye’know that.”
“It’s only for a little while,” Gavin assured me. “Just until I get me ducks in a row and get the courage to tell them.”
I tilted my head back and sighed. “Fine.”
“I love you, bear.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said, hugging him back when he pulled me into his embrace. “I love your dumbarse, too.”