My chili cheeseburger was incredible. We sat on a picnic bench in Lakeside Park, overlooking the Colorado River. It had been ages since I’d been there, and I’d forgotten how beautiful it was. It was fairly busy for a Friday afternoon. There were young children playing in the wide-open spaces, and picnic blankets were dotted around with families enjoying the unusually warm weather.
“Thanks for lunch Josh. It’s the second time in a week you’ve fed me,” I told him, finishing off the last of my burger.
“Did you enjoy that Savannah?” Josh asked, a smirk on his face.
I nodded, licking my fingers. “That burger is the best!” I exclaimed.
“I can tell, you’ve got a little…” He stood up and reached over the table, his thumb brushing against the corner of my mouth, his eyes never leaving mine. My breathing accelerated and my heart raced. He held up his thumb and my eyes flicked to it. “Chili,” he whispered as he sat back down.
“Tha…Thank you,” I stuttered, shaking my head. How could he turn me into a stammering mess with one brush of his finger? What was he doing? He knew how I felt about him. “What’s going on Josh?” I asked quietly, my eyes on the picnic table.
“What do you mean?”
“Why didn’t you correct the doctor when she thought you were the father? I tried, but you stopped me.” I picked at the label on my bottle of water while I waited for his response, nerves bubbling in my stomach. I heard him sigh deeply and I lifted my eyes from the table.
“I don’t know, I…I just thought you wouldn’t want to explain why the father wasn’t there. I’m sorry if I did the wrong thing.”
For a minute, I thought he was going to say something else. The past couple of days, things had seemed different between us, and there was even a point the day before where, if my phone hadn’t interrupted us, I thought he was going to kiss me—yet there I was again, hoping for something that was never going to happen. Something had definitely changed between us, but I had no idea what, and he seemed reluctant to acknowledge it.
“You didn’t do the wrong thing,” I told him with a sigh. “Do you think you could take me home please? My hand is killing me.”
“Savannah?” He reached across the table for my hand, but I quickly moved it out of his reach.
“Don’t Josh, please,” I whispered, willing the tears that were welling in my eyes not to fall. I was sick of crying. I’d rarely cried before getting pregnant, but lately, it seemed to be all I was doing. “Thank you for being there for me today, and for all your help yesterday, but I’d really like to go home now.” I watched him as he closed his eyes.
“Okay, if that’s what you want.”
“It is.” I stood up and walked away from him, the tears now freely falling down my face. I needed to stop hoping things could be different between us, but he was making it hard.
The short journey back to the ranch was unbearable. As much as I was in love with him, I couldn’t wait to have some space between us. As we pulled up outside the house, I saw my mom and dad running toward Josh’s truck. I opened the door and stepped out.
“Savannah, are you okay? I saw all the blood in the cottage and the broken window. We’ve been calling you but you didn’t answer—what happened?” My mom rushed out as she made her way toward me. “Your hand!” she exclaimed, pulling me into a hug.
“Mom, I’m fine,” I assured her. “The window broke while I was cleaning it, and Josh found me and took me to the hospital. I just needed a few stitches. I’m okay, really.” I glanced over my mom’s shoulder to see my dad, his face etched with worry.
“And the baby?” she asked, releasing me and stepping out of the hug. “The baby’s okay?”
“The baby’s fine.”
“Tell them Savannah,” I heard Josh say as he rounded the truck and stood next to me.
“Tell us what?” my dad asked—it was the most he had spoken to me in a week. I turned and glared at Josh.
“It’s nothing, really. Everything is fine,” I insisted.
“Savannah,” my mom warned.
“Urghh! My blood pressure was a little low, and I’ve been kind of dizzy, but I’m fine and so is the baby.”
“The doctor asked if she was under any stress at home.” I saw Josh raise his eyebrows at my dad. “We told her how things have been, and she said to avoid any stressful situations as it can be harmful to both Savannah and the baby,” Josh said, not taking his eyes off my dad. He took a step closer to me, our shoulders practically touching.
“Josh!” I exclaimed, stepping away from him.
“No Savannah, Josh is right,” my dad said with a sigh. “I’ve been so caught up in how I feel that I haven’t even considered how much I’m upsetting you.” I watched as he slipped his arm around my mom’s waist and pulled her close. “When your mom called me and said she couldn’t find you, said she’d found blood in the cottage…” He trailed off. “I’ve never been so worried. You being pregnant at 21 isn’t something I’m happy about, but I love you, and I don’t want to lose you. I’m so sorry I’ve acted like an idiot.” Tears rolled down my cheeks as I flung myself at him, his arms wrapping tightly around me. “If anything had happened to you, or the baby, because of me…” He trailed off again.
I pulled out of his embrace and looked up at him. “Dad I’m fine, I promise. I understand why you reacted like you did, I really do.”
“Doesn’t make it right, sweetheart.” He shook his head and dropped his eyes to the floor.
“I’m going to need you—I’m going to need you both, if today is anything to go by. I can’t even clean a window without ending up in the emergency room, God knows how I’ll manage to take care of a baby on my own.”
“You’re going to make a great mom, and you won’t be on your own,” Josh said from behind me. I glanced at my mom, who was giving me a funny look, and I shook my head at her, hoping she wouldn’t ask any questions.
My dad walked up to Josh and clapped him on the shoulder. “Thank you for looking after her today. It’s appreciated son.”
“Any time Ryan. She means a lot to me.” He fixed his gaze on mine, his lips rising into a small smile. I gave him a sad smile back and turned away, linking my arm with my mom’s as we started up the path to the house.
“Claire tells me you’re helping Savannah with the old cottage?” I heard my dad ask Josh behind me. “Although I’m hoping she’ll want to stay at home now that we’ve worked things out.” I quickly spun around to face them, realizing Josh must be heading into the house with us as he was following me up the path.
“He’s been a great help. He painted the kitchen, but I’m sure we can manage the rest ourselves. I don’t want to take up all of his spare time—I’m sure he wants to spend time with his girlfriend,” I rushed out, seeing Josh’s face fall at my comment. “Maybe Brody can help me? Or we could ask Mason.” After the past couple of days, I knew spending time alone with Josh at the cottage would be unbearable. The concern and care he’d expressed made the tiny flicker of hope inside me ignite into a raging fire, only to be doused when he shot me down.
“You’re still set on moving out then Sav?” my dad asked me sadly.
“I need to stand on my own two feet, for the baby’s sake.” I smiled at him. “He or she deserves a mommy who’s got her act together. I can’t raise a baby in my bedroom.”
“I’m proud of you sweetheart,” my dad said, his voice breaking. “Just know we’ll always be here for you. It took me longer than it should have to realize that.” He clapped his hands together. “Right, if you and my grandchild are going to be living in that cottage, we’re definitely going to need some help.” He turned to Josh. “Are we taking up all your spare time son? Don’t want to get you in trouble with the missus.”
“No sir, and there is no girlfriend,” Josh said, flashing me a heart-stopping smile. I raised my eyes in surprise—what did he mean he didn’t have a girlfriend? He’d seemed to have one the night before. “Happy to help,” he replied triumphantly, his eyes still locked on mine.
“Great!” my dad exclaimed. “As much as I love Brody, he’s no carpenter, and that kitchen needs some work. Whatever you need to do, do it.”
Breaking eye contact, he looked at my dad. “Actually, the kitchen is pretty much done. I’ve fixed all the loose doors, and with some new handles, the cabinets should look as good as new.” He turned to me, catching my eye. “Sav and I painted the walls yesterday, and it’s looking good, though your daughter isn’t too hot with a paintbrush. She got more on herself and me than the walls, isn’t that right?” He smirked at me, and I smirked right back, my hands going to my hips.
“If I remember correctly, it was you who got paint on me first. I was just getting you back.” He laughed and I turned to see my parents grinning at us.
“Stay for dinner Josh, it’s the least we can do after what you’ve done for Savannah.” My shoulders dropped as I heard my dad ask him. Looked like I wasn’t getting away from him any time soon. “Libby and Mason are coming for dinner as well—they have an announcement to make.”
“As long as I’m not intruding on family time?” Josh asked.
“Don’t be silly. You’re practically family anyway, isn’t that right sweetheart?” my dad asked, looking over at me. I shot a look at my mom, who gave me a sympathetic smile before turning to Josh, who was grinning at me. I had no idea what was going on, but I was beginning to wonder if he enjoyed toying with my emotions. There was no doubt he knew how I felt about him, and he knew I’d gotten upset at the lake yet still he insisted on helping with the cottage—and now, apparently, he was staying for dinner. All I knew right then was that I needed to get away from him. I didn’t have the energy to figure out what he was playing at. I was exhausted and needed a nap before dinner.
“Of course, you’re welcome any time Josh,” I told him, sighing loudly. I noticed the smile slip slightly from his face, although I had no idea why. I turned to my mom. “I need a nap, can you wake me when Lib gets here? I don’t want to miss the news.”
“Of course, sweetheart. Go get some rest.” She ushered me through the door and into the house. I smiled gratefully at her before making my way toward the stairs. I turned around as I reached the first step, seeing Josh standing in the hallway, his gaze fixed on me. I shook my head as I pulled my eyes from his and headed upstairs; had I imagined what had happened that day, the touching, the hand holding, the concern he’d shown? Was I looking for something that clearly wasn’t there? My head hurt thinking about it. He was just being a concerned friend, wasn’t he? It couldn’t possibly be more than that. I hated how he had this hold over me—I’d spent two days with him and now I was right back to where I’d been six months before, obsessing over every tiny scrap of attention he showed me, hoping against hope that he’d suddenly realize he was head over heels in love with me and couldn’t possibly live without me.
“Urghhhh I’m so pathetic!” I exclaimed, flopping down onto my bed. My head was pounding and my hand was throbbing, and that was on top of the pain in my chest that no amount of painkillers was going to cure. The doctor in the emergency room had said I would be okay to take Tylenol if my hand was bothering me, so I dragged myself off the bed and into my bathroom, opening the cabinet in search of the tablets. I quickly found the empty box and sighed, realizing I would have to go downstairs if I wanted some. I decided I could cope with the pain; it seemed less painful than bumping into Josh downstairs.
I padded back into my bedroom, attempting to remove my top as I went. It was fairly difficult with one hand but I eventually managed it, as well as kicking off my blood-stained shorts. Exhausted, I crawled under the comforter in just my bra and panties; I’d get dressed after I slept. I pulled the comforter around me and my eyes closed as soon as my head hit the pillow.