Chapter Six
Olivia
In the middle of the day I was sitting in a homemade bedroom in the back of a biker bar with nothing to do and nothing to look forward to. I had to ask myself how I got to this miserable existence. I made a lot of mistakes, the first of them being not trusting Dax. I was so blinded by what I’d been through with my father and I projected that all over Dax. First lesson I needed to learn was that just because some people, like my dad and Terrance lie as easy as they breathe, it doesn’t mean that everyone does. Dax was still looking for proof that he was set up, but the funny thing was, I didn’t need it any longer.
I believed him.
I had to figure out what to do with my life. I had about three hundred dollars in the bank and I had almost completely stopped working for my uncle to the point he had hired a full-time guy. It was one of the guys I’d met the day before. He seemed like a good guy and I couldn’t ask my uncle to cut his hours to give them back to me.
When I was with Terrance he was paying all the bills and telling me that was how the club worked. The men took care of their women financially and the women supported them in other ways. The other ways were mostly sex, but no one ever came out and said that. Silly me, I saw myself as some kind of house wife. Sometimes I wish I could kick my own ass.
I needed to figure out what the hell I was going to do. I wasn’t going back to Terrance just so he would support me and I wasn’t going to continue to stay there forever and sponge off Dax. I couldn’t have any kind of self-respect if that was what I resorted to. What I need to do, is go back to school. I could probably get financial aid again and maybe between that and a part-time job I could make it. I wished I had stayed in school. I would have been almost finished. My life got so crazy when Dax went to jail, but most of it was of my own making. It was time to grow up and start making some good decisions.
The first one was school. I decided I was officially going back to school. I needed to go online and reapply for financial aid and start looking for a job. Suddenly I felt better. I hadn’t done anything yet, but I had some kind of direction and I felt a big surge of motivation. I was going to do it right this time and get the hell away from the club forever. I hadn’t met one person since I’d been hanging around that was truly happy. The place and the club just sucked the life out of everything it comes into contact with and I was finished letting it do that to me.
I went out into the hall and saw one of the guys. He was supposedly a nomad and that meant he didn’t have any certain logistical affiliation. But he hung around a lot. His name was Kip. I had no idea if it was a real name or not and no interest in finding out. Just the fact that I knew so much about what a nomad was said I already knew too much about the place. All I wanted was to borrow a computer so I could sign up for classes and start looking for a job.
“Hey, Kip!”
“Hey.”
“Do you think it would be okay if I used one of the computers for a few minutes?”
“Nope,” he said, obviously unconcerned.
“Thanks,” I said.
It was funny. I was headed into an office to use a computer to start my own life to get away from the place where the computer was located.
I turned on the computer and waited for the old machine to boot up. Bull was into spending money on his motorcycles, but not so much on his office supplies. It finally came up and I went to the Universities website. I had thought a lot about what I wanted to do with my life, although I hadn’t really done anything so far. I knew I wanted to get into the medical field. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a nurse or psychiatric tech, but something along those lines. I looked up the requirements of each and the pre-requisite classes. They were both about the same. I still needed to finish my General Ed before I could do anything so I found a sociology class and a psychology class that I qualified for and I signed up for both of them for the fall semester which was going to start in a couple of weeks. They were both on Tuesday and Thursday, so even if I stayed in town, it wouldn’t be so much driving back and forth.
I went to the FAFSA website and filled out my financial aid application. It was pretty easy, under income, expenses and assets, I just entered all zeros. I started scrolling some job posting websites. I wrote down addresses and phone numbers of the ones that looked interesting and I may be qualified for. I felt better after finishing all the forms. From there on out I was only looking forward.