Fawn
“Hey, wait a minute. They’re letting you go home while we have to sit here and wait?”
At first, I thought the old man was joking. It was the kind of thing a regular visitor to the ER might have said to relieve some of the tension of having been waiting for a while. But he wasn’t joking. He grabbed my arm with one of his large hands, his skin rough and scarred from years of hard labor.
“You can’t be leaving. You got people waiting here,” he repeated his complaint.
“Yes, sir. I know it’s frustrating, and the doctors are getting to everyone as quickly as they can.” One of the things that pushed patients back was the admission of severe cases. They always took priority over less severe, non-life-threatening cases. Unfortunately, that information wasn’t comforting to patients who’d been waiting for extended periods of time.
“Look, kid, how much longer am I supposed to wait here while they let everyone else in?”
“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know how much longer the wait will be, but you can ask one of the nurses at the desk. They might be able to give you an estimate.”
“I didn’t ask them, did I? I asked you.” His grip tightened on my arm. It was starting to hurt. What the hell had gotten into this guy? “Or are you too worried about getting home to your little boyfriend to care about the rest of us?”
The look in his eyes actually worried me. He looked like he was angry enough to get violent. I’d dealt with some pretty rough characters before, but there was something different about the people back home.
“Sir, this isn’t helping.” I risked putting a hand on his arm, just above his wrist, as a way to let him know he was hurting me without whining about it.
“No, but it’s gonna help.” He jerked my arm, like he was going to try to drag me to the nurses’ station.
“Sir, let go of my arm.” I pulled back against his grip and stood my ground.
The grumpy old man looked at me with a scowl on his face, as if to say “How dare you?” I didn’t budge, though. Those years growing up around a bunch of tough-as-nails bikers paid off from time to time. I had to monitor my patience, though, because once I let it run out . . . well, I’d been in trouble for that before.
“Sir, if you have a question, address it with the nurses at the desk. I work in the back, so I take care of whoever they send through those doors. They can let you know what the wait looks like.”
“I don’t care what it looks like, darling. I care what it is. Do you know how long I been waiting here? I ain’t got time to be sitting in here all day. I need to be out working.”
I wanted to tell him that if he felt well enough to be out working, he didn’t need to be clogging up the ER, but that was one of those last day kind of rebuttals. People who wanted to keep their jobs didn’t say things like that. So I bit my tongue.
His grip and he voice didn’t let on that anything was wrong with the man, but for all I knew, he could have been in there with symptoms of lung cancer. Guys like him didn’t show weakness until it had them flat on their asses. Only the nurse and doctor who treated him would know what was going on with him. At the same time, he could have listed chronic pain as the reason for his visit, and his anger could have stemmed from how long he’d gone without any pills.
“Again, sir, I’m sorry. I understand the frustration, but causing this kind of a commotion won’t get you seen any faster.”
“Excuse me. Is there a problem here?”
The new voice boomed, and both our heads snapped around to see Dax standing there in his cut, his well-fitting blue jeans, and his black boots. The full sleeve on his right arm extended past the short sleeve of his shirt. The ink on his left arm reached down to his elbow. He alternated pressing one fist into the other palm, like he was trying to crack his knuckles.
I’d seen this man naked, but I didn’t realize how intimidating he was until she stood before me in all his MC regalia, his dark blonde hair pushed back, his shades on over his hazel eyes. They all had the look he was giving the man in front of me, though – that look where even behind their shades, it was obvious where they were looking and what their expression was.
“I, uh, um . . . no, sir. There’s not a problem here.” The gruff old bastard let go of my arm and backed away with his tail tucked between his legs.
“Well, before there is a problem, I suggest you find someone else to harass or sit yourself back down in one of those chairs.”
Dax watched as the man ducked away without another word and walked over to the desk to ask the other nurses about his wait. I was impressed. I smirked at my old friend while he watched to make sure we were in the clear. Of course, that didn’t mean I was going to let my guard down.
“Thanks, but I had it under control.” I totally didn’t.
“Yeah, I saw that. You were doing a great job, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to speed things up a little bit.” He winked. The sarcasm in his voice was palpable.
“Well, thanks anyway. I guess I did need a little help there.”
“You think? That guy looked like he was ready to whoop your ass. Is that normal?”
“I mean, from time to time, you get people who really don’t like being told to wait. I wouldn’t say it happens all the time, but it does happen.” I shrugged.
“Well, c’mon. Let’s get you home.” He put his arm across my shoulders and walked me out to the car. It wasn’t a possessive, boyfriend-type of move. He was simply palling around with me, which was a good sign – no hard feelings from our strained conversation that morning.
On the way out to the car, I finally understood why he was there. It wasn’t because he’d knocked me up. It wasn’t because he had a thing for me – and I for him. It was because I needed the protection. The guy back in the ER was a patient. Imagine if that had been a member of a rival MC like the Wild Kids, I told myself. I wanted to be ten feet tall and bulletproof, just like the guys, but I wasn’t. The threat, as he’d explained to me, was all too real, and I needed to start taking it seriously.
I was a nobody to that jerk inside. To one of my dad’s rivals, I was the president’s daughter, a target. So was the baby in my womb. What kind of mess had I gotten myself into? I was supposed to be cleaning up and reorganizing my life, not complicating it further.
Dax stopped me at the car, his hand on the passenger side door. He pulled off his shades to look at me with those arresting eyes. He let go of the door without opening it and put his hands on my shoulders.
“Hey, I know we have a lot going on between us right now, whether we talk about it or not, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re family. You’re part of the MC, whether you like it or not, Fawn, and I know you don’t, but it means we’ve all got your back, no matter what. You have the support of every person in the club, and we’re here to look out for you. I feel like that needs to be said.”
He opened the door for me and waited while I sat down in the car before closing the door and walking around. While I watched him, I thought about what he’d said. We were all family, and I was going to need my family soon.
“I’m sorry, Dax. I’ve been taking you and everyone else for granted.” I started as soon as he sat down, before he even put the key in the ignition.
“Don’t sweat it. We always take family for granted.” He laughed while he talked. “That’s what family is, right? You’re not supposed to worry about us being there. It’s supposed to be a given that you’ll have us at your back in any situation, right? It’s the same if we’re talking about college, a new job, a failed relationship, or even . . . being pregnant.”
The pause told me what he was really thinking about, why he’d brought it up. Dax cared about me; there never was a question about that. The question was whether or not he could care for me the way I wanted him to, that romantic devotion everyone wanted from their partner. I’d seen that in him once, but when he’d told me how he lost it . . . . I didn’t know if it was possible for him to really give himself over to it again.
I was waiting to see him with some random girl he’d picked up from a bar or something. I knew if I held out long enough, the night we shared would fade from his mind – of course, my swelling stomach was eventually going to challenge that, but I had faith in his hormones. Eventually his needs would outweigh his feelings. It was only a matter of time.
“I guess what I’m saying is this: whatever you decide is best, I’m here. We’ll all be here, but if we’re not together, don’t tell your dad I’m the father.” He reached over and nudged me with his elbow.
“No doubt.” It was amusing, but I didn’t laugh. I was too deep in thought.
“Hey, what’s going on over there? What are you thinking about?” Dax could hear my silence better than some people heard my words.
“All of this. Us, the baby, you, me, the Carolina Devils. Work. Like, I’m going to have to take maternity leave at some point. I’ve only been there a few months, and I’m already talking about having to take time off for a kid. Who does that?” I shook my head, realizing I was thinking out loud.
“People do that, Fawn. Life happens, man. You can’t put the world on hold just because you started a new job, you know? I’m sure they understand it at work. I mean, where do people normally end up when life takes over and interrupts their daily routine?”
“Yeah, you’re right. The irony, of course, is that because we’re there for people when that happens, we don’t have time for it to happen to us.”
“You’ll be fine. Remember, you’ve got a pretty big family to support you, and we’re prepared to do whatever it takes.”
I didn’t know what had gotten into Dax while I was at work, but I liked it. He was supportive, not pushy. He was starting to sound more like the old-timers. Then again, he spent most of his time around those guys. The younger guys, from what I’d seen, didn’t put as much stock into the whole family bit, but it was inevitable as they spent more time around the older members; they would eventually start talking about the MC as a family.
Now, when he started talking about us as a family, that would be a different story, I told myself. That would imply he was ready to start looking at what could be a little more seriously. I wondered if all his talk of family on the way home from the hospital was some sort of precursor to that. What if he was ready now but didn’t know how to bring it up?
“Here, let me get your door.” We pulled up to the condo, and he hurried around to my side of the car to help me out. That was a first. I rarely had anyone get the door for me as I got out.
“Look at you, being a gentleman and everything.” I laughed as I stood up.
“I’m a biker, not a barbarian.”
“There’s a difference?” I cocked an eyebrow. He knew I was messing with him.
“Maybe. I’m working on it.” He winked.
After months of going through the motions and avoiding each other, I let him walk me up from the car. He even got the door for me. As he ushered me into my home, he poked his head in and looked around.
“Checking for intruders?” I asked him.
“You never know. You spooked me this morning when you didn’t answer the door or your phone. I mean, I know now what the problem was, but still. And this evening at work? It was like round two, you know? So, yeah, I’m inclined to take a few extra precautions to make sure you’re safe.”
“Well, come on in. You’ve already seen it all.” I laughed. “Knock yourself out, Dax.”
He reached behind his back like he was about to pull his gun, but I saw the thought of having it out in front of me cross his face. He kept his hand back, probably resting it on the gun, but he didn’t draw it – at least not in front of me. He crept past me, but I stayed by the door while he investigated the house. I trusted his instincts when it came to threats like the Wild Kids – more than I trusted my dad’s, because he was likely to be overprotective.
“Downstairs is good.” He tilted his head back, letting me know I could leave the entry way as he took the stairs.
I remembered that morning – the phone vibrating on the counter by the bathroom sink when he texted me, and again when he called, feeling helpless when I couldn’t reach it, and the moment he came to the door to find me sitting in front of the toilet. I couldn’t think of a lower point in my life in recent history. But, it was like we’d said in the car, these things had a way of revealing themselves eventually. I figured it was probably for the best that he’d found out when he did.
“Upstairs is good.” He came back down, putting his gun away as he approached me.
“Good. I’m glad there are no boogeymen waiting on me. Oh, did you check the bedroom closet? I heard something in there last night.” I narrowed my eyes suspiciously.
He shook his head and cracked up. “What am I going to do with you, Fawn? You don’t take any of this seriously, do you?”
“Oh, come on, Dax. You know how it is. I’m only playing with you. Somebody’s gotta bust your chops, keep that ego in check.”
“And that’s your job, huh?” He put an arm around my neck and pulled me close to him, giving me a good one-armed embrace.
It had always been my job. And it was the best job I’d ever had. Too bad there wasn’t much pay, or else I would have done it full-time.