“Now, you can hear about the size of these things all you want, but it’s an entirely different experience to actually be there and see one in the flesh.” I said, drew out every word carefully for dramatic effect.

I was at a business dinner with a few old colleagues and some potential new clients. We were sitting around a dinner table at one of the high-end sushi restaurants in Santa Barbara, and I had the entire table watching me with rapt attention. I had a few stories I used to entertain new business associates, but the one about my Alaskan hunting trip with Rhett was one of my favorites.

I even had the young waitress’s attention.

“At this point, I still hadn’t been face-to-face with a bull moose,” I retold the story. “And Rhett and I had a local guide to help navigate the brush. When we caught sight of this monster, it was big enough that I thought the guide’s eyes were going to pop out of his head.”

There was a light laughter around the table as I talked.

“This was October, and I don’t know about Rhett, but for a California boy like me, well, my fingertips were numb already,” I said with a grin. “But seeing it made our blood run hot. There’s no feeling so primal as being confronted with an animal like that, the kind that really makes it hit home that Alaska is an entirely different world.”

A few of the other men at the table who’d hunted nodded in agreement.

“So, I had my muzzle-loader ready, I could practically feel my whole body go still.” There was perfect silence in the room. “And that’s when the calf we hadn’t noticed behind us snorted.”

Eyes went wide around the room. I grinned.

“The giant was maybe ten feet in front of us, and as soon as it heard the calf, it turned, saw us, and it bent its head and charged. I’d never seen something barreling toward me that fast. Rhett and I dove out of the way, and as soon as the crashing sound of almost two tons of animal barreled past us, we were back up and aiming.”

I winked at Rhett, who happened to be sitting across from me, his arms crossed and a grin on his face. We always told the story a little differently. It was an ongoing competition between us.

“And there’s still some debate about who got the shot off first, but we both fired, and the sound of that thing crashing into the ground is still fresh in my memory.”

There was a scattered, impressed murmur throughout the room as the men nodded approvingly, and the waitress took the distraction to hide her blushing face, making her way out of the room to get more drinks for us.

“Where in Alaska was this?” asked Mr. Tanaka, one of the potential new clients at the table.

“Just off the Stikine River in the southeast,” I explained, picking up a piece of nigiri. “I’ll send you the name of my guide, if you’re interested.”

“I should say I am,” he said with a laugh, exchanging nods with some of the other men around him.

“I think Bruin understates my contributions,” Rhett said in a half-joking tone, and there was a laugh around the table, “but I’ll let him have this one.”

“If you ask me,” one of my colleagues next to me said, nodding toward the door out of our private room, “that waitress would let you have her, too.”

There were some laughs and nods of agreement around the table, and I smiled politely, rolling my eyes while I took a bite of the sushi.

“Leave her a tip, and she’ll come back for more,” another said.

“Come on, where’s the hot-blooded Bruin I know?” Rhett said.

“I’m catching a redeye flight,” I lied, giving Rhett a meaningful glance, and he quirked an eyebrow for a moment, but he caught on.

The waitress returned and started serving drinks. Rhett said something flirtatiously to her while the other men took a moment to enjoy their drinks and eat in the break in conversation, but I couldn’t focus on any of that.

Truth be told, I was surprised I’d been able to focus on this dinner at all. I was still rocking it, but it took a lot more willpower than usual.

These were my regular hunting grounds. I could charm anyone, seal any deal, no matter whether the businesspeople were men or women, foreign or local, friendly or hostile. It was the kind of environment I thrived in, and I got energized by it all.

So, why did this feel like an uphill slog that I couldn’t wait to end?

I knew why, of course. Ever since Jillian had left for Atlanta I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Every night that I laid down, all I could think about was how I wanted Jillian there at my side. I wanted to turn her over and fuck her sweet and hard all at the same time until the two of us were panting at each other’s sides, drifting off into sleep with our energy spent on each other. And when I woke up, I wanted to see Jillian’s face next to mine, those gorgeous green eyes fluttering open sleepily before I took her out to brunch at whatever place became her favorite.

I wanted to see her playing with Emma, to take them all on vacations down to Cozumel, St. Martin, Costa Rica, anywhere they wanted. I wanted us to do it together, too.

I had to face the facts. Jillian had changed me, in a major way. None of that would have been on my mind a few weeks ago. Well, except the sex, but that was only getting better over time.

When I stood in the master bedroom’s shower, steam rolling down my muscled shoulders, I still couldn’t believe that shy, awkward Jilly had become the woman that I—

I stopped myself short at the thought of the word that was at the front of my mind. The L-word.

“Bruin?” a voice called to me, and I gave my head a shake, snapping out of my trance.

One of my friends was looking at me with a puzzled look. “You all right, pal? Wanted to know if you wanted another sake.”

“Please,” I answered with a nod, smiling at the waitress, who was waiting patiently beside my friend. She gave an overly-bright smile and hurried off.

She was short and slim, with jet-black hair and a face that men would kill for. She couldn’t have been older than twenty-one, and she had a smile that could light up the room.

And I felt nothing for her.

The old me would have been all over her, giving her the night of her life and something to talk about for the next few months, something to make other men seem inadequate by comparison. But Jillian had changed all that, and I knew it.

And every time I thought about that, it took me out of the present.

I pulled myself together and passed the rest of the dinner as well as ever. I chatted about hunting a little more with Mr. Tanaka, reminisced about our soccer days with Rhett, and built rapport like the expert I was. As long as I could keep my mind off Jillian, I had complete control over every word that was said at the dinner, even when some of the lightweights at the table started to feel the one-too-many sakes that were going around.

When the dinner finally wound down, I had the bill put on my card and exchanged a lot of handshakes and a lot of bows with the businessmen as we headed outside into the cool evening air. Rhett hung back, presumably to chat up the waitress. Some of the men were wobbly already, and they got into cabs and headed their separate ways after many promises of more lunches and dinners, more meetings, and some promising prospects for a business deal in the near future. As usual, they were interested in purchasing some of the software we were developing as part of the empire I’d been building over the past few years.

As well-padded as my finances were, I knew I had to get my head out of this funk, or business would start to suffer.

When most of the men were gone, I started to head around the building for a quick walk to clear my head, but I felt a clap on my shoulder.

I turned my head to see Rhett standing there, an eyebrow raised at me.

“Rhett? Where’s your squeeze?” I asked.

“What I wanted to know is why she’s not all over you in the back of a cab,” he said with a concerned tone. “She was practically throwing herself at you, man. What’s up?”

“Jesus, am I that transparent?” I asked.

“When it comes to women? Always,” he said with a flash of that grin that had melted many a woman’s heart. I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

“Let’s go for a walk,” I said.

We strolled through downtown Santa Barbara under the many streetlights, the sounds of other groups going out and drinking, chatting, and having a good time all around us. People made way for us wherever we went. We were about the same size and build, and people tended to naturally respect that.

“So, you remember Jeff’s sister, Jillian?” I asked as we walked, puffs of breath coming from my mouth in the winter air.

“Vaguely,” Rhett said, furrowing his eyebrow. “Kind of awkward girl, brunette? She’s doing brokering or something for Jeff now, right?”

“Right,” I said. “Well, half-right. She used to be like that. I never really noticed her either, but a while ago, she showed up in Ft. Lauderdale with Jeff to buy a yacht from me for him. I had no idea they were the buyers, so it totally took me off guard.”

“Okay,” he said, following along. “There some problem with the deal?”

“Yes and no,” I said. “I like her, Rhett. A lot.”

“What?” he said, raising an eyebrow at me. “Man, I know you like to get around, but Jeff’s sister-”

“It’s not like that,” I said, shaking my head. “I mean, I thought about it that way at first, but then I spent a little time with her, and…” I rubbed the back of my head, looking up at the stars a moment. “She’s something special, Rhett. Something really special.”

“Where’s the Bruin Kincaid I know and what have you done with him?” Rhett asked, looking genuinely concerned at the look on my face.

“I know, right?” I said with a dark chuckle. I shook my head. “I can’t get her out of my head. I even introduced her to Emma, and they got along great.”

“Shit, man.”

“But then there’s Jeff,” I said, frowning. “I mean, I know what I need to do, what I want to do, but it sounds like if I do it, I’m burning my bridges with him.”

“And what do you want to do?”

“I want to marry her,” I said, stopping and turning to face Rhett, who looked at me as if I’d just told him I was a werewolf. Hell, even I was surprised that the words came from my mouth, but once they were out, I felt euphoria run through me. It felt good to say it. Damn good. “I love her, and I’m going to make her my wife.”

It was a short and simple statement, and Rhett just stared at me for a long time.

“Shit,” he responded finally, “I mean, it sounds like your mind’s made up then, but seriously, if the real Bruin gets back, tell him the new Bruin is ruining his reputation,” he added with a boyish grin. I punched him in the arm and shook my head, laughing along with him. “Seriously though, Bruin, if that’s how you feel, I’m happy for you.”

“It is,” I said, feeling better about it every time I said it, beaming. “And it feels damn good.”

“So, what are you going to do about Jeff?” he asked.

“I know what I’m going to do,” I said with a frown. “I’m going to be honest about it. I think Jill feels the same way about me, and if Jeff can’t get over that, then…” I paused. “Then he’s not the man I’ve always thought he is. That’ll be on him.”

“Sounds like you’ve thought this through.” Rhett crossed his arms and nodded at me.

“More than you know.” I laughed. “Guess I just need some other asshole my size to try it out on before I get into a fistfight with Jeff.”

“Anytime, bro,” Rhett said. “Give me a heads up if you’re serious about the fighting part, though, I don’t want to get blood on this particular shirt.”

“Jackass,” I said, punching him in the arm again. “Come on, let’s grab a drink. I could use an Old Fashioned to wash down the sake.”

That, and I needed a drink to settle down the rush I was feeling in my head from admitting it to myself.

I was in love.

And Jillian was going to be mine.