Alright, hun, I think I can understand Carter cancelling yesterday. I mean, he’s got a problem with someone inside of his team or someone outside who’s trying to screw him. When a Democratic Governor gets accused of sending jobs over to Communist China, the last thing he probably wants to do is go out to Le Cirque with a Senator who is an avowed Independent and likes sex, and a Republican playboy mayor. At least, not to a restaurant where a steak costs $115 before sides.

So yeah, I mean, I can totally understand calling off dinner. But then, as the situation gets worse the next day, I would have maybe thought he’d give me a call to keep me apprised of the situation, you know?

But even if he didn’t I guess I can understand that. He’s probably thinking that it’s best right now to be in lockdown mode—completely hermetically seal himself off in a bubble. That’s why he’s a man, and I’m a successful woman.

When shit like this hits the fan, I usually go the opposite route. Go find allies as quickly as I can, and build a wall. It’s how all the times in the past some zealot has tried to make an issue about me being a "fallen woman" I’ve had the political capital and firepower to blow them out of the water.

I mean, I’m telling you this, but you probably already know. When you’re in trouble, you can retreat, or you can reach out to those closest to you.

I would have told this to Liam over dinner yesterday night, but we both decided over text that if Carter was in trouble, maybe we should just postpone by one night. I mean, we’ve actually done a lot of progress on getting these guys to see eye to eye. And I think we’ll like the outcome.

But dinner tonight? I got a phone call from Liam a couple hours ago, where he politely begged off.

"I just need some stuff I gotta fucking do," he said into the phone.

I thought to myself that either something else has happened or he’s a bit worried. Maybe even someone on his team is telling him to put some distance between him and I.

"Is everything okay?" I ask. Sure, I’m a bit worried.

"It’s fine…" Liam says and trails off. "Just some things I got to sort out."

Well, that leaves me with no plans for dinner, you know? I mean, if I had known, I’d have flown back to DC. I was really hoping to let our relationship—or whatever we have going between both men—grow and evolve.

I know, I know. I’ve been hot and cold with both of them. First I sleep with Liam. Then I have sex with Carter. But, you got to understand, hun, after each time, I just couldn’t decide.

I still can’t choose.

Liam has qualities that are irresistible. Carter has facets that make me want him more than anyone else. I can’t get either men out of my head.

That’s why I pulled away from both of them.

That’s why I stayed away.

And then…in the limo?

Let’s just say I got tired of not being able to decide. And let me tell you, babe—indecision paid off.

But I don’t know if I can keep doing this.

I mean, have you ever heard of a public servant—a Mayor, a Governor, or even a Senator having a relationship like this? Who would even vote for me? The Anti-Monogamy Party? Yes, it really does exist, by the way.

This entire situation is wrong. It’s immoral. It’ll cost me votes. It’ll give fuel to the fire for those people who paint me as this oversexed corrupter of Western democratic values. The Conservatives will hate me for sleeping with a Liberal. The Liberals won’t like that I’m sleeping with a Conservative. Pretty much the only people who will be in my camp are women who like hot men.

Don’t smile. This is serious.

This is what I’ve been thinking about all night—after a quick salad for dinner and a few glasses of wine.

I’m lying in bed, lounging after a long hot bath, and wondering just where in the hell I’m supposed to go.

I haven’t watched any television today. Cut myself off from the news. All so I could think about what kind of a grave I’m digging for myself.

I mean, imagine a life with Liam and Carter as we try to juggle our political careers.

Mmmm. Actually, let’s just imagine Liam and Carter first.

Imagination—it might not be as good as the real thing, but it’s pretty close. Especially when you’re all by yourself and the memories start bubbling up to the surface.

Laying in bed, wearing nothing but a skimpy nightgown and a lace thong, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The memories start to flood me, and I remember how it felt to run my fingertips over Liam’s and Carter’s naked bodies… Pressing my legs together, I feel that familiar wetness grow between my thighs as the memories become more vivid. My nipples become hard and sensitive, and the rosy tips brush against the fabric of my satin gown as my chest rises and falls steadily.

Vivian. I hear them whisper my name, their voices echoing inside my mind. Vivian, they repeat, the sound of my own name making my throat grow dry. I run my tongue over my lips, wetting them, and remember the taste of both men’s mouths. They tasted like a man should taste—leather, and salt, and warm desire—and their lips fit against mine as if the whole world had conspired for us to kiss.

I take one hand to my shoulder, my skin prickling as I push the strap of my gown down my arm. The fabric droops over my right breast, baring it, and I brush two fingers against my hard nipple. I don’t even dare open my eyes, afraid that reality might push away the dream state I’m in—I imagine both men here, lying next to me, their hands on my body as they explore every curve of my body.

Rubbing my nipple between my thumb and index finger, I sigh heavily, that familiar electric feeling spreading from my nipple toward my inner thighs. My pulse quickens, and with every beat of my heart, my pussy grows wetter. I press harder on my nipple, pinching it, and I start to feel the wet fabric of my thong sticking to my skin.

Behind my closed eyelids, I see Liam and Carter brushing their lips down my skin, their mouths eager to taste me… To devour me. I open my legs wide, almost as if they were really here with me, and allow my hand to slide down to my stomach… and then further down.

I reach for my thong and press on my clit with two anxious fingers. One touch and my breathing becomes deeper, a slight moan caressing my lips as I press down harder. I feel the urge to push my thong to the side, and to slide the fingers I’m using deep inside of my pussy. I almost do it, but I manage to resist it; I don’t want to rush this. Imagination might be all that I have, but that’s not an excuse to be hasty. If anything, it’s more of a reason for me to take my time.

I push down the other strap of my dress and bare both my breasts; using both hands, I squeeze them as I arch my back, my pussy burning in a slow boil. I hold off for as long as I can, but in the end I can’t resist the fire between my thighs: raising my ass from the mattress, I hook my fingers on my thong and push it down my legs. Slowly, I let my hand slide to my inner thighs, my heart drumming louder and louder as I go near my pussy. Using only one fingertip, I brush it lightly against my wet folds in an upward motion, only stopping when I’m touching my naked clit. Biting on my bottom lip, I press on my clit with two fingers and start moving them in a gentle circular motion.

It doesn’t take long for my soft pace to grow into maddening punishment. I remember how it felt to go down on my knees and see the two most perfect men I have ever met looking down at me, and that… Well, that just makes it impossible for me to touch myself in a way that you’d call gentle. I let instinct take over, my fingers moving furiously over my clit as pleasure rages through my veins. With my free hand, I go back to grabbing my own breasts, squeezing them harshly as I imagine Carter sucking on one nipple while Liam uses his tongue on the other.

Why can’t they be here right now? Why does reality have to be so harsh? Forget all about money or status; I’d give all of that away just to have them in my bed right now. But I’m all alone, the sins of imagination my own company… I wonder if they’re in their homes right now, stroking themselves as they think of my naked body. God, I hope they are. I really do. Thinking of them, alone as I am, remembering how it felt to have their cocks ravage my mouth and pussy… That just makes me wetter.

Gritting my teeth, I let go of my clit and move my two fingers downward; I push them past my folds and move them inside, curling them upwards as if they were a hook. I go straight for my G-spot and press against it, electric sparks crawling up my spine and setting fire to my brain. But it’s not enough; I want more. Much more.

I let go of my breasts and move my free hand down my stomach; once again, I start rubbing my clit as I press harder on my G-spot, the sparks of pleasure growing brighter and wilder. I moan, the sound caressing my eardrums and covering me in goosebumps; arching my back, I start to moan even louder, that harsh pressure mounting inside of me.

For an instant, it’s as if I’m back in the limo with Liam and Carter, their naked bodies pressed against my own… Their cocks stretching my pussy and mouth. My body theirs to use and abuse. All this flashes behind my eyelids in just a heartbeat, but it’s enough; my pussy becomes tighter around my fingers, and I feel the whip of pleasure lashing out at my mind. I come hard, my fingers trembling over my clit as the muscles in my arm start to twitch.

"Oh, God…" I moan, easing the pressure on my G-spot. I almost take my fingers out, but the memories of the moment the three of us shared refuse to go away. Instead, they become even fiercer, almost as if it was all happening again. My fingers start moving in and out at a furious pace, responding only to the deep cravings in my unconscious. I keep rubbing my clit with renewed effort, the lashings of pleasure’s whip becoming even more violent.

I might be alone, but I won’t let that stop me from diving head first into the sweet oblivion of ecstasy. Besides, with an imagination like mine, it would be a waste to simply crawl under the sheets after having one orgasm. If I can come endlessly with them, I can do it by myself. I’m a grown girl, and I know how to take care of myself.

I throw my head back and hiss through my gritted teeth, my fingers moving in spasms but keeping up their merciless pace. Beads of sweat are already forming on my forehead, my muscles tensing up from the effort, and that makes me go even harder.

The tension builds up until I can’t take it anymore; my muscles feel as if they are about to snap, and I can almost hear my bones rattle. Opening my mouth to scream, I let pleasure turn into sound as a devastating orgasm takes control of my body. Convulsing in a frenzied state, I keep my fingers inside my pussy and press my legs together, keeping my hand in place.

I’m coming, but that doesn’t mean I’m done. The more pleasure courses through me, the more of it I need. I keep moving my fingers over my clit, rubbing myself as I imagine Carter and Liam ravaging me. I can almost feel their cocks in my mouth, in my pussy, in my ass… I imagine Liam’s hands all over my body, squeezing my ass cheeks, and my mouth pressed against Carter’s. I imagine all that and then some more, my mind completely unhinged.

"Oh, God, oh, God," I moan over and over again, ecstasy stabbing every single one of my nerve endings. I keep pushing through it, and for a fraction of a second, imagination blends with reality. For a heartbeat, they’re really here, ravaging my body with their thick cocks.

I don’t even feel my fingers moving anymore; I know they’re still on my pussy, but my movement is no longer a conscious one. I’m working on instinct alone, my body a mere puppet to the screaming needs of desire.

Oh, God.

My clit is burning now, and electricity is frying my mind. I’m moaning hard, my throat turning raw from the effort, and I still keep going. I’m about to explode in a few seconds and I --

Oh, fuck! Oh, FUCK!

The bright flames of ecstasy light up my mind, a scorching white heat burning in my chest. My fingers are no longer moving; the connection between my mind and body has been severed, and a million tiny spasms take over my muscles. Twitching and convulsing, I feel myself drowning in an infinite ocean of pleasure. I don’t even know how I’m still breathing right now. I don’t know how I’m still alive, or if I’m still alive at all. And it doesn’t matter, none of it does; when you feel what I’m feeling right now, few things seem to matter.

I sprawl myself on the mattress, breathing heavily as if I were doing it for the first time in my life. And I feel alive… So fucking alive. Slowly, I open my eyes and take in the world around me, the colors of my room more vibrant than I have ever seen them. I feel the smooth cotton of the sheets under my naked skin, the sound of my breathing like a melody. It seems that I have opened my eyes and stepped into a world of fantasy, one where magic is real and your innermost desires can come true.

Laying here, that gentle tingling under my skin, one certainty dawns in my mind: Liam and Carter, I need them both in my life.

That’s the realization.

That’s what I needed all this time for.

Okay, perfect. It’s decided. Somehow I’m going to make it work.

Pleased with myself, and in my post-sex afterglow, I yawn and get the remote and turn on the television.

The news pops up.

"If you’re just joining us, the mayor of New Kingston, Liam Jeffries, has been connected in a sexual pay-for-play arrangement to a noted member of the Chinese Communist Party. Liam Jeffries is alleged to have tried to sell the Boltiador Global commitment to build several factories in New Kingston to the Chinese. The jobs would be transferred to China and the Governor and his environmental bill would be blamed. In return Liam Jeffries would get backing from Chinese front companies in the United States. These revelations were made by the Chinese official, Tina Ling, herself earlier today," the news reporter says before continuing into even more salacious details about ‘speculation of a threesome between me, Carter, and Liam’ and then talking about sinking poll numbers.

So both the guys I slept with separately and then together are now in the public eye for corruption or bribery. They may be impeached perhaps or indicted for corruption.

Pretty much gonna say this is a low point in my dating life right about now.

But why can I still not stop thinking about them?