Does Lydia even notice how well the late afternoon sunlight plays off her amazing body? As she stares at herself blankly in the mirror, it's clear she doesn’t. Yeah, it's just a day at work, but we're all somewhere else.

As they get ready for their cam shows, Lydia and Jane are thinking about their future, while I'm simply floating in the beautiful haze enveloping my life.

Jane and Lydia share a look that tells me that there's swirling gossip about me. I can't have that, but the only way to stop it is the truth.

Just as I'm about to open my mouth and blab gleefully, Lydia suddenly interrupts her ritual to chip in her two cents about whatever she thinks is going on.

"Look, I can't blame ya, girl. I don't know what job you've got, but you're being smart. As we all need to be. Nothing's guaranteed in this business." Lydia goes right back to her lipstick. She's so misguided. I need to end this shit now.

"Do you guys actually think I'm leaving? I mean, I know I have some down time right now, but really?"

Lydia and Jane give each other that look again, but Jane is beginning to break a bit. She realizes how flimsy their premise is, but she's not ready to give up yet.

"Why do you seem so, you know, sure about everything? And now you're over-the-top happy for some reason. You're actually glowing."

"Why do you think I’d be glowing, Jane?"

The realization hits her right away. Lydia sees Jane's expression and finally turns away from the mirror. Jane’s trying to hold back an out-of-character laughing fit.

"Some fuckin' tour, huh? I guess you're a pretty good guide."

Lydia finally gets it, and she looks like she's about to keel over. This is the first time I've ever seen her grin like that: stunned and a bit giddy. Lydia busts out in peals of laughter, and this breaks Jane down into her own flood of giggles.

I feel the tension drain from me, and I start laughing myself. These moments are rare, but they feel fucking great.

Jane stops laughing as soon as she can, and I can tell that she's dying to say something snarky.

"Even for you, that's a good catch."

Damn. As much as I want to lob back a sharp retort, I can’t. She's right.

"Backhanded, much?"

That's just about as well as I can do. Jane ignores me. Now that the anxiety's drained from the room, she can go back to adjusting her glittery silver corset.

Let me just take a minute here and tell you about Jane. I don't care who the fuck you are, the first time you see Jane's signature costume you can't help but feel like you've stepped into some futuristic, sci-fi utopia where people are—on average—about a thousand times sexier. Guys are ready to cum all over their keyboards the second Jane appears onscreen, but she doesn't let her audience off that easy.

To watch one of Jane's cam shows is to take a captivating journey down a modern art-inspired rabbit hole that you can’t tear yourself away from until it's all over. With props like black lights, glow-in-the-dark body paint and Mylar balloons, Jane gives her fans an experience like nothing else online.

I look over at Lydia looking at herself in the mirror, inspecting her eyeshadow. Lydia won’t go on camera without carefully checking and rechecking every part of her makeup about a billion times. I think that she's done talking to me now that she's in serious prep mode.

That is, until she blurts out her take.

"I guess you found another job after all. Hope it pays well."

I don't even know what to say, so I keep my mouth shut for a second.

Lydia has no big gimmicks, just a crazy work ethic, and a face and body that has driven many of her fans literally insane. The type of insane that empties savings accounts and IRAs, penalties be damned. The type of insane that maxes out credit cards and applies for payday loans and second mortgages.

Logically, Lydia should be Darcy's favorite. But this isn't about logic.

"No pay, my dear. Just pure bliss."

"Good for you."

Lydia's response is immediate. I know she believes me. Why wouldn’t she?

"I'm happy with it so far. But it has to end soon, right? We can't stray from the rules, and Darcy knows what he's doing. I mean, in a business sense."

Shit, as soon as I start voicing my concerns, I get even more worried. This can't continue while Darcy's actually running the ship.

"Hey, it's fun now, right? When it's over, just choose any other dude in the world to fuck."

Jane's applying her own silvery makeup, and I know she’s trying to be as sweet as she can. But to me, it sounds fucking heartless. I try to explain things calmly.

"I don't want to fuck, or even talk, to any other dude. It’s not about that. There's…I don’t know. There's just something about Darcy. And I feel like I haven't even started. He's like a mystery with a million layers that I want to peel back one by one."

Jane and Lydia share yet another look. They're not suspicious this time. They seem a little amused and a more than a little sorry for me.

"Why don't you take this one, Lyds?"

Weird. That's the first time I've heard Jane use that nickname.

"Just have fun with him. You'll get over it soon, promise. But, look, we're running late."

Now Lydia sounds heartless. They're trying to help, but whatever. I'll have to figure this shit out on my own.

I watch Jane and Lydia leave the dressing room.

Are they really this jaded? Or am I that damn naïve? Wait, isn't Lydia off today? Now I'm really confused.

"Hey!"

Wow, I did not mean to yell that loud, but Lydia and Jane both stop dead in their tracks. Lydia looks around, Jane doesn't bother at first.

"Isn't this your day off, Lydia?"

Now Jane turns around, not to look at me but to look at Lydia. They share yet another fucking look. Lydia turns back to answer me

"I'm guesting in Jane's show today."

Yeah, of course. I should be able to figure this stuff out by now. I'm ready for them to leave, but now it's Jane's turn to nag me about the same stuff she always does.

"I keep telling you, Lizzie. One girl-on-girl show can be like, a week of solo shows. Or more. And that's for each of us. Just give it a go sometime."

"You do keep telling me that. Well, alright. Break a leg, make that cash. Go get 'em, tigresses."

Now Catherine is hovering outside the door. I know they're running late, but Jane and Lydia just won't give up.

Lydia goes all earnest and tries to convince me.

"Even if we split three ways, the cash is still great. You know how well I do every time, right?"

"I appreciate your generosity, but we've been through this, Lydia. Remember? My rule?"

Lydia and Jane give each other one last look. This time with bright smiles. They both recite the rule to me in unison:

"No first times on camera!"

Damn, have I said it that many fucking times? I get a bit jumpy about Catherine lurking outside—she's about to get real impatient real fast. Luckily, they leave on that note, and they almost make it out the door before something makes Jane put the brakes on to call out to me from across the room.

"If this whole Darcy fling goes bust, you know where to find me."

I look at Catherine, and she's now staring straight at me. Fuck.

With Lydia and Jane gone, Catherine takes a few controlled, very unhappy steps into the room. She doesn’t break her gaze.

Goddammit, Jane. You couldn't resist saying one last thing to me, could you?

"Are you a Bennet Babe?" Catherine knows how to be scary, even with a simple question.

"Yeah. I am."

"Then why are you sleeping with Mr. Darcy? You know the policy about any men affiliated with the site."

"Is Mr. Darcy affiliated with the site?"

I expect her to go full blast at me for that, but she just lets a little sigh.

"You better enjoy this little Darcy dalliance while you can."

I see a flash of pity in Catherine's eyes, then she's gone, out the door in a flash.

Why is everybody so adamant about this stuff? Nobody doubts Darcy's competence, and I'm as excited about his potential for the site as anyone. But what about his potential for my life?

Fuck it, I won't let anyone tell me not to be excited about that.