Not that damn song again.

I swear, it’s haunting me. Following me everywhere I go.

Can’t a girl just wallow in her heartbreak in peace?

I knock back my shot of tequila and try to forget. A challenge that’s becoming nearly Herculean.

“Can I get another?” I gesture frantically for the bartender as soon as my glass hits the polished wood.

He’s right there, pouring my fourth—or is it fifth?—shot.

“Let me guess,” he says with a wink, “you don’t like flying?”

I nod my head, even though flying doesn’t bother me in the least, because it’s a lot easier to just go along with what he says rather than explain to him why I’m actually drinking myself into oblivion while I wait on my flight to Fiji.

Yeah, that’s right. I’m drowning my sorrows before I run away. Go ahead and judge. You wouldn’t be the first.

As if on cue, my phone lights up with a text from Erin.

Are you sure you’re making the right decision?

I can practically hear the concern through the screen.

No, I’m not sure if I’m making the fucking right decision. But at this point, I can’t stick around the Bradford for another second.

I have to get away. Get some clarity. Figure out where things went so horribly wrong.

Plus, there’s no fucking way I could stand it if I happened to run into Evan in the hallway. Or worse—if he happened to not be alone.

My stomach clenches at the mere thought, and my heart feels like it’s going to rip my chest right open. I always thought that the term heartbreak was pretty stupid. Like, really, how can a heart fucking break?

Yeah, well, fuck me then. I was dead wrong. Because right now, the pain feels more like torture. Like this stupid organ in my chest is literally cracking, fracturing, fucking shattering.

But what else can I do at this point but get as far away from Evan as I possibly can? I contemplated some type of Antarctic expedition before remembering I really don’t like the cold all that much. But that’s how far I was willing to go to escape.

I pick up my phone and think about responding to Erin, pouring my heart out yet again and letting her convince me I’m making the wrong decision.

But no. I set it back down. I fucking committed, and I’m seeing this thing through.

Commitment.

At least I don’t have a problem with it.

And that’s what it all boils down to, isn’t it?

Evan won’t commit.

After all this time together, everything we’ve been through. All the ups and downs just to get to being a couple in the first place, followed by the most tumultuous relationship in the history of mankind. On and off again doesn’t even begin to cover it.

We’re such polar opposites. Yet…he complements me in every way. His drive and intensity offsets my wild passion. His steadiness to my free spirit.

Looks like that steadiness fell short when it came down to it.

But what the hell am I doing if I sit around waiting on a man that may never be ready to offer me what I need?

Who knew, right? The ultimate party girl. Purveyor of free love.

Turns out she was really looking for the same thing we all are.

Love.

A future.

A partner.

I knock back the shot of tequila and try to convince myself my watering eyes are from the sting of alcohol infusing my blood.

My phone blinks again, and I hate myself for the jolt of hope that courses through me when I glance down.

Nope. Erin again.

What time is your flight?

Why does it matter? But I pick up my phone and text her back. I still have an hour and half to go. Then I’ll be free from all the memories this city I love so much now holds.

I can’t go to a club without remembering Evan. I can’t look down an alley without thinking of him. I can’t even go to the lounge in my own damn building without remembering that night that changed everything.

“Can I get my check?” I mumble to the bartender, staring blankly down at my phone so no one sees the tears that threaten to overflow.

“Safe travels,” he says as he slides it across the bar. “Enjoy the journey.”

I pause, his words striking me.

The journey.

That’s what this has been, alright. A really long, rocky journey. Unfortunately, my final destination is far from where I thought the road would lead.

But I can’t say I wouldn’t do it again.

I would. Every fucking second of it.

I learned so much about life and love with Evan. About myself. Things I never knew.

So that’s all part of it. And Evan will always be a part of me, even if we aren’t together.

But now, I have to figure out what’s next for me. Where I’ll go from here.

And try to deal with the fact that it’s going to be really fucking painful without him.

I remember the look on his face as I walk slowly toward my gate. When I told him I couldn’t keep doing this.

“So that’s it then?” he asked.

I nodded, tears falling freely.

“Em, come on. Don’t do this. It doesn’t have to be like this.”

“Doesn’t it?” I asked, hope swelling in my chest even as I knew it very much did.

“We have a good thing here. A fucking great thing. Why does that have to change?”

I shook my head sadly. He just didn’t get it.

I changed. He changed me. Made me want more out of life than I realized was possible.

Yet he wasn’t willing to give it to me.

I’m smart enough to know that I can’t waste my life on a guy that may or may not ever be where I’m at.

So that leaves me here. Escaping to another hemisphere. And leaving my heart in New York City.