As much as I hate to admit it, Derrick’s place is so much nicer than mine.

I mean, I always knew no matter where he lived was going to be luxurious. But I almost jump for joy when Mike tells me over the phone that he doesn’t want me coming in for a few days but to stay at home. “Besides, it sounds like you’re not far from your target anyways,” Mike says.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. After Derrick’ guys brought my suitcases in, I started unpacking in the guest room. I’m going to be staying here for a little bit.

You want to know something? You can’t tell anyone, okay?

Well, here goes.

So, I stayed in the guest room and focused on packing the whole afternoon. Derrick came by a few times but I pretended to be busy. But, the truth is, it was a lot easier to stay in the guest room because I wouldn’t have to face him. I wouldn’t have to face what was going on inside of me.

I mean, can you blame me? How messed up is this situation? Here’s a guy who’s a Prince. He’s an arrogant jerk. An asshole. And I somehow had the misfortune of growing up with him. So I got out of the country and went to college to get on with my life. Only I didn’t do a good job because I ended up dating a guy that cheated on me. Then I broke up with him. But then my apartment got ransacked. So I moved in (temporarily) with the asshole. Only I’m lying to him and pretending to be a stripper. Named Daphne. So I can write about his dirt.

But it doesn't end there. I almost kissed him outside a few hours ago! And I would have, if he hadn’t held himself back.

And said my name.

My real name.

Alicia.

When he told me that I reminded him of someone, I didn’t believe him at first. Then he said my name. I know, I know. Go ahead and roll your eyes. He was basically telling me I reminded him of myself.

Is he really thinking of me? Has he really been thinking of me? This whole time?

I mean, it's an understatement to say the man is easy on the eyes. That strong jawline of his, his luxurious hair, hell, the entire package.

Actually, speaking of package, I’ve had quite a number of times to check it out. Whether it's when he was showing me around the apartment, or when he came by as I was unpacking.

It looks just as large in person as it does on television.

I mean, come on, this guy is a Greek god when it comes to his body. The only thing that kept me from having my panties melt whenever I even thought of him was knowing that at least he was a real asshole.

But from jumping in the water to save a little boy, to coming to my rescue as well, he’s anything but an asshole. He’s a real life Prince.

And after that almost-kiss, I might as well have jumped in the water too – that’s how wet my panties are…

Uhmm, just a little, I mean. Not like a lot, or anything. I’m not falling for him or anything, okay?

I mean, think about it. He doesn’t even know that I’m really Alicia. He doesn’t know I work for a gossip column in a tabloid newspaper. That I’ve been lying to him. I wonder what will happen if he ever figures that out?

I mean, I’m not lying about everything. I told him about how a few days ago I discovered Jake had been cheating on me. He told me a bit about how he’s been on his own basically in New York since he moved here. And then finally left a few hours ago to go work out at his gym across the street. I shudder when I think of him doing deadlifts, straining his bulging muscles, and having his testosterone enlarge his monster cock.

I shake my head vigorously, trying to get these thoughts out of my head.

Just because he’s come picked me up when I was in danger doesn’t make him my hero. I need to remember that. Stop lusting. I’m supposed to be the good girl, remember? I don’t do these things. I’m not supposed to have melted panties. I’m supposed to be responsible.

And that’s when I hear Derrick come into the apartment.

Everything I had told myself goes out my brain the moment he walks to the threshold of my door. He’s got a smirk. He’s also shirtless, wearing just a pair of basketball shorts.

I try not to stare at the tattoos that grace his body. They take a warrior’s body and make it into a dangerous looking work of art. My spine tingles in unrequited lust as he hands me a package. It’s a black plastic bag.

“For you, love,” he says with a smirk.

“What is it?” I ask, taken aback.

“I think it’ll help with all the adrenaline you have going through your body,” he says. “It’ll take an edge off.”

He’s grinning and I open the bag.

“Since there's no more Jake, it's something to get you through the long nights,” he says.

I take the package and open it, and I don’t know what to say.

It’s a set of two clamps. I eye them for a bit and read the packaging. But it doesn’t dawn on me that until I see the picture.

These are nipple clamps. They show a picture that shows a woman with the clamps, and the box shows her getting an electric buzzing.

Next to it is a small vibrator bullet. And next to that is a wireless remote.

Oh. My. God.

What do I do? What do I say? I’m holding these two packages and I don’t know what to do here.

“What is all this,” I ask, deciding that confusion is easier to use to hide my embarrassment.

Derrick simply shrugs. "I figured it would help you, love."

“Help me do what?” I ask again. What is he thinking? Just because he looks so delicious and gets my mind all twisted he can give me these…these sex toys for presents?!

“It’ll give you all the pleasure you need, love,” Derrick says with a smile. “Without ever having to deal with a man again.”

Oh. My. God. Again, I’m speechless.

Who the hell does he think he is? That because I pretended to be a stripper that makes me a prostitute?!

I throw the package on the bed.

“Gross!” I yell out loud. “I barely know you!”

“Okay, Daphne, love, listen to me okay,” Derrick says and comes inside my room. Oh God, I can smell his musk. His sweat. His scent. It’s heady and it fogs my brain with desire.

Derrick continues, “You’ve been with this guys for what? 6 months? You’re going to get fucking lonely. And you don’t want to go back to relationship that you know is shit because your body has needs, okay?”

“So what if I could take care of it myself?” I ask. “Maybe I have a whole chest of sex toys.”

Derrick cocks an eye. “Oh really,” he says. “Tell me one thing that you have.”

Right. I have nothing. And nothing to say either.

Derrick continues and I listen to him in silence, trying my best to glare. He continues, “And if you don’t do something about it, Daphne, you and I are going to get in trouble. I know you’re not the kind to go around and casually sleep around with blokes. So fuck me, it’s going to be me. You’re too fucking gorgeous.”

Oh Jeez! Now he’s complimenting me.

“And you remind me too much of a girl I used to know. A girl that I’m realizing I was a fool to let go. If I ever had her in the first place,” he says.

Now my curiosity is unleashed. Could it be the story I’m looking for?

“Why?” I ask. Then I ask again with more urgency. “Who?”

He turns around and walks away, but stops before he crosses the threshold. “Her name was Alicia,” he says. “And I didn’t know it at the time, but seeing you, I can’t get away from the fact that I was in love with her, only I was too stupid to realize it.”

Oh. My.

I don’t know what to say.

Well, it’s a good thing he’s walking out of the apartment. Looks like this conversation was too much for him, too.

I hear the door shut below and Derrick call the elevator and I tremble.

Not because I'm grossed out. I should be, but all I can manage is a pathetic Ew. Gross. And that's only because you're watching.

I'm not grossed out.

I'm so incredibly wet. If I took my panties off right now and threw them against the wall, they’d stick to that wall.

Yes, it’s because I'm thinking about Derrick, okay? How he thought enough about me in his messed up way.

What is going on with him? He’s not supposed to be like this.

He took me out on a beautiful morning and he became a hero. He didn’t even get any of the credit.

Then, he went out to God knows where and bought me some pretty crazy sex toys.

Okay, the last one is a bit out there, but Derrick is completely out there. And when he was standing in my door, with no shirt that's showing off his rippling muscles and I can see the bulge in his crotch, it's a bit hard not to get turned on when I'm looking at nipple clamps and a vibrator.

I've never had a vibrator before.

I guess I've always sort of wanted a vibrator, but I was too embarrassed to go into a store on my own and buy it.

And now Derrick's bought one for me. Because he was worried about how I was going to get along without having sex with my boyfriend – who I’ve never had sex with before, ironically.

But there is someone I wish I could have sex with.

Don't give me that look. Please. It's not like I’m going to be like every other one of his stupid conquests. I can resist his charms.

But a girl can have fantasies, can’t she?

I decide that since he's out of the house anyways, I'm going to live a little and have a little bit of fun.

A wicked smile goes through my face and I jump off the bed and go to close my door. But, it's just me in the house. I'm going to leave it open. Feels a bit naughtier that way.

The only problem is; I have no idea how to use one of these things.

First I take the clamps, which I realize actually look quite delicate as I examine them. They’ve got some decorative design that makes them look a bit fancy, even sexy, but maybe that’s just my desperation for a sinful man I’ll try not to mention.

Seriously, this isn’t solely about Derrick. Stop looking at me like that; it really isn’t. Maybe he’s right, and I do just need to relieve some stress. Besides, I already told you this isn’t some savings account between my legs that only a future husband can access. I just haven’t found the right guy, and thank the heavens I didn’t give it up to Jake, because he turned out to be a real asshole.

Taking one clamp between my index finger and thumb, I open and close it a couple of times to see how it works. Seems simple enough. Placing it around my bottom lip, I giggle when it clamps down. I thought it would be painful, but it doesn’t bother my lip at all.

The instructions said my nipple should be hard before using the clamp, and luckily my headlights are on brightly, standing up like they’re waiting for the show to begin. I glance down as the nerves begin to build in my stomach. I’m afraid to do this, afraid of what it will do and how it will feel. That’s kind of the point of doing it with someone else, right? So you don’t have to go through this alone? But its better if I learn to please myself first, a girl in college told me that. It’s strange that I remember it now.

Okay, quit stalling. Are we doing this or what? Fuck it, let’s do it. I open one clamp and hover it above my aroused nipple, my fingers trembling with anticipation.

“Ahhh!!!” I yell before breaking into a giggling fit. Yikes! It hurt a lot more than my bottom lip, but I guess I’m more sensitive there. Opening the other clip, I clamp down on my other nipple, my reaction a bit less dramatic this time after knowing what to expect. Before I can fully register the pain it fades completely, almost as if they’re not even there. Strange.

Now for the real toy. I look at the small bullet. It looks like an elongated metal marble. The surface is so smooth and shiny, metallic even. I’ve seen the price on the box, but even without that I would’ve been able to tell it was expensive. The instructions list wetting it in your mouth, first, and although I know I’m already well lubricated down there, I follow the steps.

The metal feels silky smooth against my tongue. My thighs press together as my belly fill with butterflies. I feel like I’m at the top of a rollercoaster about to free fall as I move the bullet down my body, between my breasts and over my navel. My legs spread just enough for me to reach my hand in and slide the bullet inside my slippery sex.

“Wow!” A shocked whisper escapes me as the cool metal slides about. My muscles clench around the foreign object and a strange feeling begins to build in my stomach. My hips begin to wind seductively as I find ways to move the bullet inside me, my hands inadvertently returning to my breasts.

I’ve completely forgotten about the clamps, but the instant I touch them the shock of the strangely enjoyable pain is reignited. A soft moan escapes me, my body feels electric. Every accidental brush against my skin takes my breath away in a way it never has before.

My body is rocking side to side, desperate to feel that strange sensation the bullet causes at certain points within me. It’s like playing memory trying to remember how to get back to the sweet spot that makes my insides quiver a bit.

Taking a deep breath, I run my fingernails up and down my soft skin, the sensation sending chills down my spine, my back arching in delight. Wow, this is really good. I try that a few more times, each feeling more intense than the last.

On the last run up and down my body, my fingers slide between my legs and I find myself tracing – down here. I’ve been wet before, but never like this. I’m breathing hard like I’ve just finished a workout, waves of anxious excitement building in my belly. My finger rubs against my clit and I loudly moan involuntarily. Everything is so fucking sensitive!

But boy did that feel good. I can’t help but do it again, wondering if it will have the same effect. This time I press down on my clit and my stomach drops like I’m free falling for a split second before I quickly remove my hand.

Moving back to my breasts, I massage the clips, my nipples clamped beneath in a prison of painful pleasure. Kneading my breasts like bread, my hips sway as my ass pokes into the bed, my back arching further. Moans are falling off my lips every few seconds, and my legs are squeezed together to create a little friction for my attention starved clit.

I wish I could tease myself there and with the nipples clamps at the same time, but I’ve only got two hands. I wonder if Derrick would want to see me do this. Is that why he’s gifted them to me? It’s such a strange present to give someone, but then again, what isn’t strange about Derrick? He’s always been weird, and I couldn’t really expect much more from him given his situation.

Okay, got off topic there. Definitely don’t want to be thinking about Derrick, and not in that way for sure. I know he’s not this good guy he’s appearing to be, he probably has cameras set up in here to watch me use these. The thought turns me on. I feel like Misty again, performing for a man I can’t even see, doing something I’ve never done.

Revving it up a notch, I imagine a camera being right above my bed, and I move my body like Derrick is able to see me, probably gripping that enormous cock just watching me squirm beneath him. God, he’s so fucking hot. I don’t care that I shouldn’t be thinking about him. I need a visual, and let’s be honest, e’s the best option. It’s nothing more than that.

I move my fingers between my legs again, grazing my clit, which is all it needs to shock my body with a sharp jolt of electricity. My left hand moves back to my nipple and the right continues on the clit, my chest heaving as my breathing grows erratic. My hands begin moving so quickly I’m not even sure I’m in control anymore, it’s too much work. My hip shifts over and my touches something cold. Instinctually, my hand reaches to grab it and I’m completely shocked when I see what it is.

The remote control! Of course! My nerves build all over again as the pad of my thumb hovers above the button labeled ‘play’. From there I can switch the speed up three levels, but I’m thankful it will start slowly. After a long hesitation, I press the dam button.

Oooh, this is nice. It’s not exactly vibrating inside of me, it’s more like a swirling motion, and it feels invigorating. The clamps even do this gentle squeezing and I like it, there’s no pain involved at all. My hips brush against the bed and I moan so loudly I swear I can hear it echo in this empty, larger than life apartment.

Just as I’m anticipating the next movement of the toys, I decide to take it up a notch, moving the speed up a level. Oh, I’ve forgotten that Derrick could be watching me. Gazing up into the white ceiling, I twist my body seductively, which is quite easy since the toys are making my body go wild from the inside out. The bullet is now twirling faster, before letting off two short vibrations. It feels a little more aggressive than the previous setting, but not too much for me to handle. The clamps, however, take my breath away with each clamp. Gone is the gentle squeeze. Now they pinch the nipples and hold for three seconds before releasing.

The release is actually the most painful part, and that reminds me the instructions said to take the clamps off at the height of the climax. How the hell will I know when that is?

Derrick probably uses these types of toys with all of his women. He wants to warm me up. His face pops into my mind so vividly with those boyish dimples and that hard jawline. God, he’s sexy. Knowing he thinks he was in love with me is a real mind fuck, and laying in his bed now, my body wants him. Oh God, I want him.

Fuck this, I’m going for the third level, but I know it might be too much for me. I’ve never even had an orgasm. Do I really want it to be this way? I don’t even have time to decide, because regardless of what my mind wants, my body is desperate for more. I push the button without thinking and instantly know it was the right decision.

The bullet is moving rapidly inside me, sliding forwards and backwards while vibrating. My knees slam together, my clit craving friction. The clamps are squeezing my nipples and vibrating, the sensation making my breath catch.

“Ohhh!” I call out in pleasure, my body flipping onto my belly, my senses in overload.

My head falls on a pillow and it smells of Derrick, maybe the laundry detergent or something. Either way, he’s back in my head, and now this pillow is him. I shove it down my belly so that it’s right at my pelvis, and thrust forward, rubbing my sensitive clit against the luxury fabric.

“Fuck!” I moan. I didn’t expect it to feel this good. The waves inside me are building fast and my body is flailing on the bed, humping this pillow for dear life.

“Derrick!” I moan quietly and gasp once I realize what I’ve said. Oh fuck it! It’s just part of the scene. I’m auditioning, remember.

Thrusting forward, dragging my clit against the pillow, the butterflies in my stomach grow and flutter and my body feels on edge. My hand grasps a fistful of the sheet as I pull myself into the bed, my nipples screaming under the clamps as my body races onwards in preparation for an explosion.

“Ungh! Derrick!” I moan again, this time loudly, wanting him. Gazing over my shoulder, I pretend he’s watching me from that pretend camera, and tighten my ass in every thrust of the pillow I wish was him.

“Yes! Yes!” I’m yelling now and I don’t care. I’ve never felt anything quite like this and I don’t want it to stop. My stomach muscles are tense, I feel everything on every inch of my body. The bullet is penetrating me perfectly, hitting that elusive spot over and over.

Now both of my hands are balled into fists gripping the sheets as I pump my pelvis into the pillow, my clit savoring the friction.

“Oh! Oh!” I yell, a bit afraid by what’s going on. It feels like I need to pee, but there’s no way I’m stopping, not when Derrick is watching.

“Derrick,” I call out to him, my body moving just for his pleasure. Envisioning his sex body, and running my fingers over those chiseled abs, pushes me further. My body surges faster, my grip tightening on the luxury linen.

“Oh God!” I yell as my body seems to unravel. It’s an intense release of emotions, my hips slow on their own. I’m full on panting and my sex is clenching down, puckering closed.

Snatching off the nipple clamps a moan bellows out of me, the strong sensation extending that explosion for a few extra moments as my body begins to calm and my legs slightly tremble.

“Oh my,” I breath, my chest rising and falling dramatically as every muscle in my body tenses. Suddenly I feel very cold, unlike just a few seconds prior.

The idea of someone watching doesn’t turn me on now that I’m back in my right mind, instead it embarrasses me. I fall back to the bed, pulling the fluffy comforter up to my chin as I scramble to stuff the toys in the box they came from, deciding to delay cleaning the bullet. I can’t stand to look at that sinful gift right now.

Feeling a wetness against my thigh, I jump in horror before investigating. It’s the pillow, and there’s a puddle of my juices. I did that?

What if Derrick did see me behave in such a way? Then he would for sure think I’m not Alicia, because she would never do that. Not the Alicia he knew when we were kids or the grown one that lays in this bed mortified now. No, Alicia is the good girl, who never has a clue as to what the bad kids are doing.

Obviously Jake figured that out, able to bang my roommate for our entire relationship, right under my nose, because I would never even expect such a thing. Hell, I had caught them red-handed and still thought it must be some sort of mistake. It was probably him that trashed my room. Could he do that?

It doesn’t matter now. Derrick will figure it out and get to the bottom of it. Maybe I should just leave the apartment, especially considering I no longer have a roommate. What was that whole ordeal with Jenna about anyway? Today has just been the strangest day of my life. Or maybe this is just the strangest week.

I’ve finally got the break I wanted in my career, but not before becoming a stripper, reuniting with the boy that made my childhood hell, only he doesn’t know it’s me, since I’m pretending to be Misty, no Daphne, all while really trying to get him to confess his secrets to me so I can share them with the world. Oh, and I just climaxed on a pillow. Who the fuck am I?

I sure hope you’re keeping up with all of this, because I’m living it and I’m confused. My whole life seems jumbled up into a box like puzzle pieces, scattered. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to maintain all these roles for an extended period of time. Nothing seems to make sense anymore, but maybe I should just stop overthinking everything like I always tend to do. My mother would tell me to enjoy the ride, and that’s what I’m going to do. Besides, I just had a pretty good experience riding a pillow into oblivion, so maybe that’s a sign. My eyes are growing heavy, so I take a deep breath and sink into the cloud like bed.

* * *

I wake up and I think it's several hours later. But I look out the window and realize that it’s no longer night. I must have passed out into the next morning. The sun is shining and I hear Derrick coming down the hallway.

Oh shit! My door is open! I'm naked! I jump out of bed and manage to close the door right as he walks up past my room.

"Good morning to you too, love," he says walking up to my room.

I breathe a loud exhale of relief that he didn't see me. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be if he caught me naked with nipple clamps and a vibrator next to me?

Gross!

"Derrick!" I yell at him. "What are you doing here?"

He laughs. "I live here, love," he says and I roll my eyes. "What are you doing up so early?"

I look at the clock. It just turned 6 am.

"I'm...I'm going to go for a run," I say shakily. I'm not sure why I'm explaining anything to him.

All I can think about was last night. God, last night was fantastic. I can't believe he got me that. I can't believe I actually used it. I can't believe him. He's supposed to be an asshole. He's supposed to be this huge dick. Then why is he behaving like this?

I should probably start getting ready to make sure he sees that I'm pretty normal this morning. That I didn't pass out from masturbating.

Masturbating to thoughts of him.

Wait, I freeze. I only have one nipple clamp on. Where's the other one? I look around frantically. I can't seem to find it.

"Looks like you had a good time last night as well," Derrick says, and I can just imagine a smirk on his face.

Wait.

Oh, no!

Did the nipple clamp drop?

Did it get pushed out the door?

Derrick's outside the door when he says, "I'll just leave this little bugger next to your door, love. I'm sure you wouldn't want to lose it."

Oh my God! Oh my God!

He knows. He knows!

I'm so embarrassed and scared that I fling myself onto the bed. I want to die right now. I want the earth to open wide so I can just go inside and hide.

I hear Derrick's steps walk down the hallway. I have to get it back. I change into a sports bra, and put on some yoga pants and my running shoes from the stuff that Derrick’ men brought over.

I need to get out of this condo and go for a nice long run.

For like, maybe, forever.

Never come back here again! I open the door and peek out. There's no one. I crouch down to retrieve the tiny nipple clamp.

"Boo!"

My heart literally stops as Derrick jumps out of the parlor across from my room.

"Derrick! You ASSHOLE!" I yell at him. I'm shaking.

Derrick's laughing uncontrollably. "Sorry, love. I'm so sorry," he says as he laughs. "It was just so fucking hilarious. I had to. I hope you forgive me, yeah?"

I'm pissed off at this asshole and I can't believe he saved me yesterday. What an ass. That's it. I'm not going to respond.

"So tell me, was it as good as Jake?" Derrick asks and I roll my eyes. "Are you still thinking of that wanker, love?"

I ignore his off-English accent and head down the stairs. My cheeks are burning red. I open the door and start running away as quickly as possible.

* * *

Instead of running in Central Park, I decide to run downtown and am just passing by the Lower East Side when my head starts to clear a little bit. I still can't believe Derrick! What a disgusting dirt bag asshole!

But why is he so nice to me? And after he's nice, he turns around and starts acting like an asshole again!

It's so confusing. I'm hoping another mile will clear my head.

I need to clear my head.

I mean, look, I've told you before. I’m in this to grab dirt on him. Bring him down.

But a part of me wants to give that up and just have sex with him.

Every. Single. Day.

I shouldn't want to...I shouldn't do what I did last night.

Well, let me rephrase that actually. I shouldn't do what I did, thinking of him. That's just wrong.

He’s a sick man whore. Dirty. Lewd. Lascivious.

I shouldn't focus on his muscles or his smile, or his smirk, or his eyes, or his huge...ego.

I should just keep running.

But I stop when I see a black SUV slowing down next to me. On one side I have some stores. I slow down a little bit as the car comes to a stop.

Is it the Royal Security people? They’ve given me a wide berth since I moved in yesterday – and while I was cumming my brains out.

But it's not. A person gets out, and the sun is in my eyes so it takes me a moment to tell, but eventually I make out that its Jake.

"Well, look at what we have here," he says and I see only anger in his eyes, and all of a sudden I get uncomfortable.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" I ask, rolling me eyes at his theatrics.

"Alicia, look at my face," he says, not smiling. I look him. He’s blocking my way and advancing menacingly. Jake is no Derrick, but he’s still bigger than me. “This is how I get when I’ve been ignored for a week.”

"What are you doing here?" I ask again.

"What am I doing here? I'm here to find you," he says, grabbing my arm. My heart starts to race. What is he doing? He's my ex-boyfriend.

"I’ve been calling you nonstop for the last week," he hisses at me, "You haven’t answered or called back at all."

“You lost your privileges for me to answer your calls when you started cheating on me,” I answer back, grabbing my arm away.

"You were never planning on having sex with me were you?" he asks me, seething. "I bet you were never going to give it up to me, ever. Well I didn’t date you to get nothing out of it, so I’m going to take what's mine and you’re going to like it, you stupid bitch."

I try to pull away but Jake's too strong. I'm panicking. What are they going to do? Jake used to be my boyfriend! What's going on!

“I wanted to wait until I was ready!” I yell at him.

“Oh yeah?” he sneers. “So when I go to your apartment in the early morning and don’t see you, you’re ready now all of a sudden?”

Oh my God. Jake destroyed my apartment!

“You’ve been giving it up to someone else after kicking me out, slut?” he asks me with a sneer. “After all the time I put in, you’re spreading your legs for someone else? Fuck that, I’m taking what’s owed to me.”

I recoil in fear. He looks at me and smirks. But not the infuriatingly cute smirk of Derrick. This is a cruel smirk, filled with malice and spite. His arm tightens around me and it hurts!

"Don’t resist, or else say goodbye to that sexy body of yours, Alicia," Jake hisses at me. I look into his eyes and for the first time I see a deep reservoir of anger, poison and hate. How could I miss this side of him for so long?

This is a deserted stretch of road. I wonder even if it's worth calling out for help.