Chapter Ten: Sophia

I splash water on my face and curse myself for crying in front of Thomas. I’ve only wanted him to see me as the sexy girl who liked to get it on wherever he wanted. Now I’d turned into the girl who has thugs ransack their apartment because she can’t pay back money and is an emotional wreck. I blame it on my hormones and the fact that my period is due. I’m sure he’ll love to hear all about that if we’re going to actually do this crazy thing he suggested. I imagine myself getting carted to all the premier baby doctors and having my body poked and prodded for the perfect specimen. I don’t know if I should be more upset or honored he’s chosen me.

The tears came from knowing that if I only had a little money, the relief would be that much greater. It was like music to my ears, but there’s the matter of having to grow a human being inside my body for him. I’ve always wanted children, but when I was happily married to a sexy businessman who bought me a Maltese puppy just because. I’ve had a very specific fantasy in my head about having children for a long time. This isn’t the fantasy, it’s like ordering from Amazon with a specific delivery date and I don’t know how to feel about that.

This is just not what I pictured for myself. The pros are obvious; I get to become a mom, I get to have tons of sex with Thomas, and I get all that money. I can pay off the debtors and buy a nice place for the baby and me. My mother would have a cow if she knew I was considering getting paid to have a baby, but she’d just have to get over it if I decide to do it. She’s got opinions about everything and I don’t need the added stress of her thinking less of me of having some snarky comment that demeans everything I like about Thomas.

I grip the sink and stare at my reflection. My eyes are bloodshot from all the tears and look great against my bruised eye making the purples and yellows stand out. I really do hate crying, especially in front of people, but especially in front of Thomas. This is probably the least sexy look he’s gotten of me and it isn’t winning me any favors or beauty contests. I sigh and roll my shoulders to try and relieve some of the tension that has been building there.

“Are you alright in there?” Thomas calls out and I squeeze my eyes shut. I can’t move into the bathroom and I can’t exactly ask him to leave with this decision looming over my head.

So, now I have a decision to make. This is a big deal. I’m not wired to say “oh sure, here’s my body. Use it all you want?” I’m not disposable. It would be concerning if he approached it that way. Hello, doll, I need to borrow your body for nine months, you don’t mind right. I mean granted he will be paying me handsomely. That money would be such a lifesaver. I have to come out of the bathroom now and pull up my big girl panties.

“I can do this,” I whisper to my reflection. However, no matter how many times I tell myself this, I can still see the doubt in my eyes. “You’ve got this,” I say, trying to give myself a pep-talk. This is something I can do. It’s only a few months out of my life, less than a full year and at the end, I’ll have a nice little nest egg for the future.

I walk out of the bathroom to find him still sitting on the couch.

Taking a deep breath, I start the conversation. “How would it work?”

He looks nervous and I take a slow step forward standing in front of him at the couch’s edge. He looks like he wants to reach for me but holds back. I wish he would reach for me. It would be so much more reassuring than this.

He clears his throat, “I’ll give you half the money for the consummation and half the money once you have the baby. We’ll break up amicably after the arrangement. I’ll visit the baby when appropriate and he or she will be yours.”

“So, no more sex in public places?” I try to lighten the mood and he laughs.

“Oh, we can totally still do that,” he says smiling at me.

“Well, you didn’t run away from my insane emotional outbursts. That’s probably a good thing considering pregnant women are the worst,” I say as I sit beside him. He takes my hand in his examining my palm.

He shifts beside me until he’s looking at me full on. “Why did you get so upset?” He looks genuinely concerned, and I feel a slight tightening in my chest. He reaches out and puts a light hand on my arm. The move seems tender and close, but I let it stay there.

“The money. I just couldn’t deal with the relief it would be to pay him off. To not have to worry if I made enough tips for the night. It was just overwhelming. It kind of all hit me at once, you know?”

I want to say, I made a bad choice. This time I’d trusted the wrong kind of people. I don’t say that though. It’s hard to admit when I’m wrong.

He nods. “So, does this mean you’ll do it?”

I feel myself shift in my seat and suck in a breath. “Can I have some time?” Bringing a child into the world is a huge decision. Some people just do it without a second thought, but this is different and the parts that come after the birth might be terrifying to be all alone with him popping in when he felt like it. Would I ever be able to have a relationship? Would I even want to?

“Of course. How about you give me your decision next Sunday. That’s a week and you can weigh all the pros and cons.” He’s generous, but he’s obviously the winner in this no matter how I look at it right now.

“We’ve already made our public debut. The thing that you might not like is the cameras are going to be all over this.”

“That was our debut?” I am a little upset he didn’t clue me into the plan in the beginning.

He leans over and pulls me into a hug. I feel strange with us touching in a way that won’t lead to sex. We’ve only ever been one thing to each other. Now that’s all going to change.

“I’m going to go,” Thomas says pulling me out of my thoughts. “I’ll leave you be until Sunday, so you can make your decision.” Our hands linger until he finally lets me go.

He kisses the top of my head in another unfamiliar gesture. He takes a look around the room at the giant mess that Sonny left behind. “Do you want me to help you clean up?”

I feel myself smile.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I can handle everything.”

“You sure?”

No, I want you to stay here with me, but I don’t say it out loud. “Yeah. I promise.” He gives me a soft smile before turning and walking out my front door.

I look around at the mess that asshole left my apartment in. Sonny doesn’t play, I think of how nice it will be to tell him here is all your money. I go and try to lock the door realizing when they broke in they broke the lock. They must have kicked the door open. I sigh wondering if the chair from my cheap dining set will hold the door until I can get it fixed.

I wouldn’t dare press charges because I’d be too scared. I bet the cameraman got the whole thing as it happened. My landlord is going to want to press charges. That’s something I’ll try to avoid and it will probably cost me an arm and a leg.

I contemplate a bath after trying to clean for a little while. Someone walks up to my door and all the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I look around for something I could use as a weapon if I needed to. There isn’t much to choose from. Finally, I grab the broom and hold it in front of me.

The guy is young and clean shaven. He wears a pair of Khakis and a green polo that says Luck’s Locksmith. I let out the anxious breath I’d been holding because he looks pretty harmless considering the week I’ve had.

“I’m here to fix your door, and put on a deadbolt,” he says and gets to work on the door.

I stand confused with my mouth open still holding the broom. He looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

“Mr. Henry sent me to fix it. Everything is paid for and it won’t take me long. You can go about your business.”

He sent a locksmith and paid for him?

It’s thoughtful of him and not at all insulting. So, why do I feel my cheeks getting hot and my hands clenching into fists? Because he thinks I can’t take care of it. He thinks I’m some helpless girl.

No, I calm down the rage. He cares about my safety and that’s what this is about. He’s protecting his potential baby mama from danger and that’s okay. Satisfied that this is a good thing I go about cleaning deciding I’ll take a bath after he’s gone, and the door is securely locked.

When Sonny had threatened I kind of thought he was blowing smoke. I am a little surprised to see how wrong I was. He would come after you if you were behind on the payments and now I had to watch my back. At least I will be able to sleep tonight with the door locked.

I have a whole week to think about it, but if the peace I feel right now is what it will be like to have money then I’ve already made my decision. I don’t want to have to live my life constantly looking over my shoulder and Thomas Henry is the answer to solving all my problems right now.

I fall into bed after straightening up some more of my things thankful I didn’t have anything worth a lot of money. Everything in my apartment is replaceable and now I’ll have the means to replace it.

The knock on the door that wakes me up is loud and fast. I can’t imagine who would be here at this hour. I look at the clock and realize I’ve slept until almost eleven which never happens. My body aches older than my years and I groan trying to sit up in bed. Did I need to be up for an early shift?

The knock happens again, and a cheery woman’s voice calls Hello? from the other side of the door. Immediately I want to stab her with a fork simply because of her perkiness. Nobody had a right to be this cheerful this early in the day.

“Can I help you?” I ask, clearing the gravel encrusted frog from my throat.

Her reply is bright and bubbly, causing me to groan.

“Merry Maids.”

Merry what? I close my eyes and then open them again. “I’m sorry did you say Merry Maids.” I should feel hung-over, Jesus, I should be hung-over from the beer last night, but it’s more from the whirlwind otherwise dubbed, Thomas freaking hottie Henry who has usurped my world.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Too tired to stand there and argue with my door, I twist the new locks and pull the door open.

On the other side of the door, I find two women standing with little white button-up dresses. They have a cart with cleaning supplies and a large purple duster. I’m still confused.

“We’re here to tidy up love. Go about your day,” the one in the front says as she breezes into my house like she owned the place. She frowns as she takes in the situation. The other tuts and moves the debris from the pile in the floor into a large black trash bag.

“Did Thomas Henry call you?” I ask.

She bobs her head, already fluffing the couch cushions and placing stacks of items on the table to be sorted. The other woman disappears into the kitchen. I soon hear water running and dishes being shuffled around.

The only thing I can do is stand there and shake my head. I can’t believe this man. If the devil wears Prada, then angels must wear Gucci because Thomas is most certainly my guardian angel?

How did I get so lucky? I mean we aren’t technically even together and he’s doing all these nice things for me. It’s also a bit uncomfortable. I’m letting these women do something I could totally do myself.

I don’t really know what to. The maids walk around picking up things I missed and cleaning my tiny space. I try to help but they just shoo me out of the way like I’m underfoot in my own home.

Finally, just to get out of their way I go into my room and climb into the middle of the bed with my laptop. I start looking up pregnancy stories just to see how people felt when they got pregnant. I make the mistake of googling births and end up watching the worst horror movie in the history of ever--a woman giving birth. My stomach turns. That can’t . . . I mean I couldn’t possibly . . . how the hell does someone recover from something like that? My body couldn’t possibly do that. Could it?

I shut the computer and try to get the image out of my head, but I am pretty certain that image is forever seared into my brain along with my desire to never eat a watermelon again.