Chapter Twenty-Two: Sophia

I get in the cab pretty quickly as I grabbed my hospital bag and my overnight stuff. I give him mother’s address and then lean back relieved. I don’t even have the energy to cry which is what I feel like doing. The terrible words she said echo in my head. She said she’d take my baby. Over my dead body.

I don’t know this little girl yet, but I will do anything for her. She’s already so loved and such a part of what makes me, me.

My stomach feels really tight and my heartburn is the worst it’s been.

I look at my cell phone and see I have about three percent before it’s dead. I’ll just show up at my mothers. She doesn’t care if I don’t call first.

I shift my weight to try and get more comfortable and a pain so great shoots through my body that for a moment, I can’t move. I don’t make any noise, but I grip the passenger seat so hard I see nail marks when the pain passes.

What was that? Could I be in labor? It’s early, but it’s possible being so upset about the things Thomas’ mother said has sent me into labor.

I wait and see for a minute if the pain comes back. I feel a gush and water rushes from me to fill my underwear and pants. The cab is instantly wet and I know what that means. Trying to remain calm, I tap the cab driver.

“Can you please plug this in, please. Take me to the hospital.”

“Oh, Jesus lady, what the hell is that?” The cab driver turns around to grab my charger and sees the massive amount of water leaking down my legs.

“My water broke,” I tell him through gritted teeth as another contraction starts. “If you don’t want me to have this baby in your cab, you’ll get me to the hospital. You’ll also plug in my phone.”

He doesn’t say anything and takes my phone plugging it in. I just hope it charges enough between wherever we are and the hospital. No matter how I feel about his family right now, he has the right to know his baby is being born. Actually, not if he’s going to take her away from me at his mother’s insistence. I don’t know what I’m feeling.

The cab ride feels like it's taking forever. Every couple of minutes we stop. I don't know how labor could have come on so quickly. I'm not due for another two weeks.

A lot is running through my head. Is the baby okay, am I going to have her in this can, what if I get out and she falls on the pavement.

I'm regretting skipping Lamaze classes now. It feels like this is the exact situation that probably helps with.

He hits a pothole and I lose it.

Watch where the hell you're going you jackass. You want me to shoot this kid out under your seat?"

"No ma'am I couldn't avoid it without getting hit."

He sounds scared of me. I catch a glimpse of myself in the rearview and see why. I'm gritting my teeth waiting for the next round of pain so it looks like I'm scowling. There is sweat covering my forehead and my hair is completely a mess.

"I'm sorry. This is my first baby and I'm scared."

"It's ok sweetheart. The wife and I have four. I've been called every name in the book through labor. It doesn't hurt me."

Right now, I am thankful for this man. I laugh and groan as another contraction comes on. Are they getting closer? I can't tell.

"Breathe, we're almost there. I know you can do it."

He must hear my labored breathing. This one hurts a little more.

"What's your name?" I manage to get out.

"It's Johnny. What's yours? We're just a couple streets away."

"Sophia and this is Aurora in my belly. She's Thomas Henry's daughter."

Johnny is nice enough to pull right up to the ER. I push the door open.

"No, don't get out. I'll have them come get you in a wheelchair."

He disappears behind the double doors and I have a moment of panic by myself.

It seems like forever but a few minutes later Johnny comes rushes out with a lady in pink scrubs pushing a wheelchair.

She's tiny.

"You're not going to be able to push me, honey. I'm a whale." I joke I've learned pregnant me uses humor as a coping mechanism. At least since I went into labor I have

"I'll do just fine. Let me help you."

Johnny and the lady help me climb out of the cab and settle me into the wheelchair. She pushes me fast as she asks questions I can't answer.

"How far apart are your contractions?"

"Her name is Sophia," Johnny tells her.

"I don't know. Johnny my phone!" I realize I don’t have it.

The reality that this baby is coming has caused the breath to come shallower and I feel like I might pass out. If I fall from the wheelchair I might hurt the baby so I start breathing really fast which seems to make me feel worse.

"Sophia, look at me," Pink scrubs bends down in front of me. "Breathe. You're where you need to be. You're going to be fine."

"Do you need me to call someone?" Johnny asks. They are wheeling me towards delivery I see on the sign. He's not coming with us. Panic once again sets in.

"Johnny, you can't come with me?"

"No hon, but you'll be fine. Who do I call?"

"Thomas Henry!"

They wheel me into a room and pink scrubs helps me into the bed.

"I'm Angie, I'll be with you through this whole thing okay?"

"There are some reporters downstairs asking about her," a man in blue scrubs comes in and tries to talk quietly to Angie.

"No please, no paparazzi. How do they even know I'm here?"

"Calm down. We won't let them anywhere near you."

Another pain starts building in my stomach and I grab the nurse's hand. Once it subsides what feels like an hour later I lean back on the bed.

“There’s also that gentlemen over there. He says he’s the father.” The man points to the same guy I’d seen at my apartment and again over and over. The leader, the one who points the cameras towards me.

“Does that look like Thomas Henry to you Fred?” Angie says the words harshly.

“Nope, I’ll get him to leave.” He rushes over to the guy and I see him lean in to tell him he can’t be there. He looks at me and smiles in an unnerving way.

"I miss Johnny," I say. I know the pain is talking. I don't know him.

"Is that the babies’ father?"

"No, the cab driver. Oh shit, I owe him for the ride." I start to try and get up but she gently pushes me back down.

"It will be handled I'm sure. Here's Dr. Simpson. She’s going to tell you a bit about what's going on.

“Sophia, since your water broke we need to get the baby out as soon as we can. This means we’re going to check to see if you’re dilated and go from there. Can you give us your pre-pregnancy doctor’s name so we can get your records?”

I give them the information and then bear down as another contraction comes on. The doctor puts on a glove and then checks my cervix. It feels like she’s trying to reach into my throat.

“You’re at about an eight.” She says pulling her fingers free. I unclench my butt and try to relax a little.

“That’s close right?” I ask.

“Yes, when you’re at ten it’s time to deliver.”

“So how long will it,” I stop talking as another pain takes over and I breathe the best I can through it.

“It really just depends on your body. So, I’m going to have the nurses stay with you and I’ll check you again in about an hour, okay?”

I nod as another contraction starts. I’m hooked up to all sorts of things. While the doctor was talking the nurse put a monitor on me and I can hear the babies’ heartbeat. I have an IV in my arm and I’m once again reminded of how real this all is getting.

“Do you want an epidural?” The nurse asks as I come out of the haze of pain and can focus on her face.

“No, I think I can do this.” I tell her nodding to convince myself.

My birth plan had been no epidural so I could walk immediately after. I didn’t like the idea of being confined because I couldn’t feel my body. I’m so nervous about this baby coming out. I really want my mom.

I should have told Johnny to call my mom instead of Thomas. What was I thinking?

The pain is increasing too. With each new wave I am clinging to the edge of my sanity but I’m determined to stay drug free. I’m an eight they said. I can make it without an epidural, can’t I? There’s a lot of pressure in my stomach all of a sudden and I let out a long low moan.

I don’t know how to describe the feeling except I want to get her out of me. I just have an urge to push her out of my body. I’m scared to say anything but I don’t want to do something wrong.

“Angie, I don’t mean to be weird but I feel like I need to push her out.” This doesn’t come out smoothly. One of the most intense contractions starts as I say her name and I grab the sides of the bed and bite the words out.

“Okay, hold on let me get the doctor.”

The next few things that happen seem to go in slow motion. The doctor comes in and says I’m already at ten centimeters and fully something. I missed part of what he said because I thought I would black out from pain.

“Can I have my epidural now?” I ask knowing the answer is most likely no.

“It’s too late, this baby is coming.” The doctor says as she positions herself between my legs.

Suddenly there are several people surrounding me. I’m going to have this baby with just the staff at the hospital. It’s a heady feeling, but I can tell she’s ready to come.

“You’re already past the hard part of labor. The epidural wouldn’t kick in now until after this is over.” Angie says.

“I’m sorry,” I say tears in my eyes, “that was stupid.”

“No, it wasn’t honey. It’s natural. I want you to get ready to push when the nurse tells you too. The pressure is going to build up and then you’re just going to let it all out.

I nod not sure if I know how to do that.

I push at the top of each contraction for the next twenty minutes. I’m so tired and just want to give up. I know it’s a process to get the baby down the birth canal, but I’m not sure how much more I can do. I try to remember what the book said about the length of time you can push. I want to say it was up to two hours.

“Okay get ready again, you’re doing great,” Angie says holding my hand. I push with everything I have yelling as it feels like my bottom half may split in two.

“Good job,” Dr. Simpson says from somewhere beneath me. “The head is out Sophia, now all you have to do is give me one or two more pushes and you’re golden.”

I don’t know if I can do it. It feels like it’s going to take way more strength than I actually have. The fact it’s almost over drives me forward. I bear down, close my eyes tightly, and push with all I have.

A small cry fills the room and I open my eyes to see Aurora June Henry squirming and pink as the doctor holds her up. I lay back on the bed and cry.

When they put her on my chest the love I feel is instant and overwhelming.

“I’m here, I’m here Sophia. Doll, I’m here.” I hear Thomas as he runs into the room and watch as he stops short and looks at our daughter.

“She’s here?” I can tell he’s confused probably because he thought I’d be in labor for a few more days.

“Yes, she’s here,” I smile at him and forget pretty much anything but the three of us in this moment. It seems like we’ve waited for her for so long and now that she’s here it’s overwhelming.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you,” Thomas says a little later. We’re the only ones in the room now and Aurora has been cleaned and wrapped up tightly. She snoozes on my chest the most peaceful baby I’ve ever seen.

“I can’t believe I almost had her in the cab. It was so fast, you couldn’t have made it if you’d have known she was coming.”

“Still, I tried to find you after I spoke to mother.” His face darkens and I know he’s thinking of what his mother said.

“Let’s just keep the conversation light, I just worked really hard.”

He smiles and takes my hand.

“I’m going to refuse dad’s money. We’ll live poor if we have to. This is about us.” Thomas says and smiles so brightly down at his daughter my heart just melts.

“She’s perfect isn’t she,” I ask. I’m tired but so full of love and joy I could do a dance around the room. That is if it didn’t feel like my insides were going to fall out.

He lays a velvet box with a ring nestled in the center of my chest. It’s not a small diamond and it catches the light just perfectly.

“Will you marry me?”

I look up at him with his hopeful eyes and down at our daughter. She has her hand wrapped around his finger and it just feels right.

“Yes, I will. I love you Thomas.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear.”

He kisses me and I lean back drifting off to rest while he sits nearby me. One perfect little family, the way it should be.

The baby wakes up a little later and cries. I slowly open my eyes to see Thomas is cradling her to his chest and whispering to her. I’ve never been more in love than I am right now. I fall back asleep with the peace that everything will be ok.

When I wake up again it’s time to nurse Aurora. She’s so tiny I feel like I’m going to hurt her. The nurse comes in to show me how to put the nipple in her mouth and after a few tries we get the hang of it. Since she’s a little early, she’s only five pounds so the nurse said she might have trouble latching.

My fears are calmed when she latches quickly and goes to town.

The nurse cheers me on as I feed her. It’s a strange and wonderful feeling. Thomas just stands by looking at me with a huge smile on his face.

I am getting the hang of it when my mother walks in. I start to cry immediately when I see her and realize I’m a hot mess of emotions.

“Oh, my darling girl,” she moves to me and strokes my hair. “You’re doing so great, she’s perfect.”

“I didn’t know you were coming. I was so wrapped up in this and tired. I did this without an epidural if you can believe that.”

“I called her,” Thomas said. “I knew you’d want your mother here. After everything calmed down, I also called Regina and George. They are waiting for me to tell them you want visitors and then they’ll be here to meet the little princess.”

“That’s a good man,” my mother says, “he’s a keeper.”

“Yes,” I say with a smile. “He certainly is.