The Escort – A Never Before Published Story

Chapter One – Avril

“Oh, my goodness,” I coo breathlessly while taking a step closer to the extremely gorgeous man standing in front of me. “I don’t know what to say to you. I never thought you would be here in front of me telling me that you love me. It’s all too much.” I flutter my lashes. “I’m overwhelmed.”

He grabs my hands and stares deeply into my eyes. I lose myself in the warm brown, already knowing that this man is a million times too good for little old me. I have no idea what someone like him would see in me which makes me feel shy and awkward. I barely know how to hold myself.

“Layla, I do love you,” he says breathlessly back. “The question is if you love me?”

Before I can answer, his lips crash into mine and he sweeps my breath away. I mold into him, clearly giving myself over to him completely, showing him my love with my actions if I can’t quite find the words to say it back. I need him to see that I love him with every single inch of me…

“Cut!” Buzz’s hands fall off me and we part in a heart beat as the director, Lee, ends this again. “No, no, no, Avril this is all wrong. Seriously. I don’t know how we’re still in this position. I told you weeks ago that you need to work on your sex appeal. There is no chemistry here on your part.”

My eyes fall to the ground, I feel sick to my stomach. I hate myself all over again. I’ve been really trying to get this right, the last thing I want to do is mess up the opportunity of a lifetime, which this movie definitely is bringing for me, but I cannot seem to get it right. Everything I do works, I’ve really brought Layla and her story to life, it’s only the love side of it I can’t get right. That’s unfortunate because the love story part of it is massive. It’s what audience will want to see.

“I’m sorry, I’m really trying my hardest. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

“You don’t have any confidence in yourself!” Lee explodes. “It’s obvious. As soon as Buzz comes anywhere near you, you crumble and fall apart. You need to believe that he loves you.”

Boiling hot tears bubble up in the corner of my eyes as I realize that I’m on the verge of losing everything. It’s taken me forever to make it as an actress, I’ve done all sorts of jobs that I don’t really want to do, all to get to this point. Lead female in a movie. If I lose this I have nothing.

“I need to take a break,” Buzz shoots out arrogantly. He knows that he isn’t the issue and since he’s a bigger star than me I don’t think he takes too kindly to me hashing things up. “Back in five.”

“Avril, do you want to come with me for a moment?” Carly, my make up artist and best friend on set wraps her arms around me. “Let me touch you up a little bit. Your mascara needs some help.”

If anyone knows how I feel, it’s her. We’ve grown closer over the last few months and I’ve confided in her a lot. She’s the one I always go to when it seems like things are going badly. I allow her to drag me into my dressing room where we can have a few moments alone to talk things through.

“Don’t worry about Lee,” she reassures me right away. “He’s known for being a dick.”

“He’s right though, isn’t he?” I ask her morosely while flopping into a nearby chair. “I suck at creating chemistry. I mean, it doesn’t help that I don’t think much of Buzz but still I should be able to overcome that.” A tear finally streams down my cheek. “I suck as an actress, I should give up.”

Carly grabs hold of my shoulders and she stares defiantly at me. “You should not give up, don’t let one bad scene take you down. Everything else you’ve done really well with. You just need to figure out a way to make this work.” She pauses and taps her chin thoughtfully. “From what you’ve told me, the reason you can’t act with passion, is because you haven’t really had any in your life. You don’t have any real-life experience to draw off. That’s probably something we can fix, right?”

I have to admit, Carly is right about that, I haven’t had much passion in my life. At twenty-two years of age I haven’t ever had a boyfriend that I can find any real desire with. There was Gary in my later teenage years, but he was boring, especially in bed. Very much concerned with his own pleasure rather than me. I suppose I accepted it because he was my first and I didn’t know any different. Then, once that fizzled out, Matt came along last year. I thought he was awesome, but it wasn’t long before he revealed himself to be a jerk too. He was selfish and a cheating asshole… and that was all him.

My entire dating history in one short burst of nothingness. It’s embarrassing to think of.

“How can I fix it?” I ask her desperately. “What can I do short of getting a boyfriend?”

“I wouldn’t recommend that. Your taste is terrible! No, you just need a good seeing to.”

Her words cause an instant blush to fill my cheeks, I’m definitely not like that at all. I can fake confidence when I’m acting because I’m playing a role, I’m being someone else, but when it comes to being myself it’s a whole other story. I’ve always been a shy, quieter girl.

I turn to glance at my reflection, looking at my blonde, currently wavy hair and my bright blue eyes, wondering if I could ever be the sort of girl who has a one night stand.

“I couldn’t do that,” I tell Carly honestly. “I couldn’t ever go out to a bar and pick up some random dude. I don’t know how to even talk to guys when I’m not in a role.”

“So, pretend you are someone else,” Carly declares as if it’s obvious. “That could work, couldn’t it? Method acting and all that. You need to be the character to play the character.”

I shudder, knowing that there would still be a point where it’s me. When I take my clothes off and I strip for him it’ll be me and that’s when I’ll freak. It might be a good idea but it wouldn’t work out that way in reality. I shake my head and turn back to look at my friend.

“I don’t think I can. I just don’t think I can do it. It freaks me out to even think of.”

Carly grabs out her make up brushes and she dusts my cheeks, probably to look like she’s doing something more than anything else and she thinks. I can tell because her eyebrows are knotted close together as the cogs of her brain spin wildly round and round. I stay silent to let the answer come.

“There are other ways you can do this, you know?” she says quietly. “More professional ways.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I give her a look. “Professional, how?”

“Like escorts, you know? You could hire someone to teach you more about passion.”

I’m horrified by her suggestion, it makes me feel ill. Is she serious? “You’re talking about paying for it?” I hiss at her. “Like pay for sex? Are you insane? That’s absolutely crazy.”

Carly laughs at me and shakes her head like I’m a prude. “It really isn’t that big a deal, you do realize that? People do it all the time. I think it’s perfect for you to help you with this.”

“All the time?” I gush while clutching my throat in shock. “No, they don’t. You’re making it up. And even if they do, people like me don’t do things like that! I couldn’t ever…”

“So, what other solution do you have?” Carly asks with an innocent tone of voice, almost as if she doesn’t realize that she’s getting under my skin. She does though, she has to. “What’s your plan?”

I part my lips, ready to give her back a snappy retort but nothing comes out of my mouth. I don’t have any other answer, she’s got me with that one. I don’t want to be the sort of girl who has to pay money out for anything sexual, but I also don’t want to lose my job either. I love this movie, I want to be a part of it and I also don’t want this to be an issue in the future. This might well be something that I have to nail right now if acting is a path that I want to continue down.

“I’ll think about it,” I answer Carly in a prissy tone of voice. “Maybe I’ll see if I can pick things up this afternoon. If I can get over this hump then I won’t have to worry, will I?”

“I’ll find some reputable companies for you, just in case,” my friend replies knowingly. “Hopefully it won’t come down to it, but if it does the offer is there. I really think it might be a good idea though, it isn’t anything as seedy as I’m sure you have in your mind. It’s just business.”

Thinking about sex and business in the same sentence doesn’t sit well with me, it makes me shift uncomfortably in my chair, but then I think of Lee’s anger and Buzz’s disappointment and I know that I can’t keep facing that over and over again. Much as the idea scares the living hell out of me, I might have to attempt it, just to see where it leads. I certainly don’t think that I can come out of it any worse off than I already am.

“Okay, thank you, Carly,” I tell her softly. “I appreciate you always being there for me, it means a lot.”

Chapter Two – Owen

“Oh, my goodness, wasn’t that class boring?” Delia says to me while fluttering her eyelashes. “I don’t know what it is about Mr. Belmont but he always makes business studies so dull.”

She’s flirting with me, I can smell it a mile off, which makes me feel very awkward. Maybe I’m lucky really, she is beautiful and one of the most desired girl on the college campus, I seem to be the only guy that she actively goes after, but I think that might be because I’m the one she cannot have. I’m the only person who’s never shown her a scrap of interest and she never gets the hint.

I suppose she’s beautiful with her cropped back hair and her short skirts, she has the body of a supermodel but the personality of someone who knows she’s too good for everyone here. I might like the tattoos that run all over her body, but not enough to give up everything for a date.

I can’t go anywhere near a girl like Delia, or any of the others, because I have a secret life I don’t want any of them to ever know about. I’ll do whatever I can to keep it inside.

I didn’t intend to end up this way, this wasn’t ever in the plan when I first started attending college. I had it all back then, brains, good looks, a glittering career in business ahead of me, and most of all money. I thought my father was doing well, I assumed he had it made. He certainly flashed the cash as if he didn’t have a care in the world, including paying for my education.

Unfortunately, it was all a façade, and one that came crashing down in between my second and third year of college. My family lost everything from the fancy cars to the nice houses. We went from the top to the bottom in a heart beat. It was a horrifying, hopeless situation.

Fortunately for me, the only silver lining to that cloud was that my fees had already been covered. I didn’t want to lose my education too, not when I was so close to the end, so since then I’ve done everything I can to keep myself afloat. I’ve tended bar in between classes, waited tables, but none of them pay anywhere near as much as escorting which I can do in the evening time, hiding suspicion, and keep myself in finery too. It isn’t ever where I thought my life would go, but I don’t mind it now.

When I first got approached by the escorting agency as I worked a bar shift, I instantly said no. I thought it would be seedy and disgusting, having sex with strange women all the time, but eventually I allowed myself to be tempted enough to try and it isn’t anything like that at all. Mostly it’s business women who want dates to events but don’t have the time to find someone, or housewives that need a bit of action. Sex doesn’t always come into it, but when it does I’m allowed to be comfortable first. I don’t have to ever have sex with someone I don’t want to, I just forgo the fee which makes it easier.

Then it’s just a case of making sure she has a good time which I don’t mind anyway.

But that’s the reason why I cannot date any of the girls here. They are all so prissy, so protected by their dad’s money. They wouldn’t ever have to do what I have to, to survive.

“You should drop out if you don’t like it, Delia,” I rely coldly. “I’m sure Mr. Belmont is just doing his best with what he’s got. It isn’t tailored just to you.”

She pouts for a second, sticking out her bottom lip like a child. I brace myself, expecting her to yell and scream at me, she’s one for making a scene, but somehow that doesn’t happen. She forces her lips to curl up into a smile and she giggles like a school girl.

“Oh, Owen, you’re so funny!” she exclaims. “Honestly, me and you should go out sometime.”

Luckily before I need to make another excuse, someone grabs onto Delia’s hand and pulls her away from me, making me breathe out a sigh of relief. That conversation was awkward enough but to make it worse my work cell phone was buzzing in my pocket the entire time. That means I might have work tonight. I move away quickly, I grab it out my pocket and I find a private space to answer. I cannot let anyone overhear because the gossip will spread like wildfire. I only have a few more months of college to get through and I want to do it with my reputation intact.

“Hello, Emma,” I say to the girl who hooks me up with appointments. “How’s it going?”

“You free tonight?” Most of the staff are super professional with what they do, but Emma is always chewing and popping gum on the phone, generally acting like she’s chatting with her friends. “I have a very interesting appointment for you tonight… if you’re up for it.”

That doesn’t make me want to instantly commit to the job, I have to admit. With Emma, interesting can mean a number of different things. It can geuninly be something quite cool or it can be weird… there have been times when I’ve had to bow out of good money jobs because they’re just too strange for words. I can’t tell by the tone of her voice which one it is.

“What do you mean, interesting?” I ask her cautiously. “Bad or good?”

“I don’t know really.” Chew, chew, pop. “Depends how you look at it. It’s some chick who’s an actress but wants to get better at acting out sex scenes.” The tight knot in my chest loosens. That doesn’t sound too bad. “I couldn’t think of anyone better than you for that.”

I sigh loudly, considering what that will mean for me. I guess it’ll just be showing her how to have some real passionate sex, maybe that isn’t something that she’s ever experienced before. I suppose that isn’t too taxing, it’s something I can do if I’m up for it.

“The pay good?” I ask, getting down to the business. That’s what all of this is about after all. I don’t do it for the fun of it, even when it is fun, which it can be. “Is it worth it?”

“Oh yeah, the pay is good. This is an actress, she’s willing to pay what you’re worth.”

“Fine.” I can’t turn that down, I do need a cash injection at the moment. “Send me the deets.”

I hang up the phone to Emma and wait for the details to come through. I get the time, the address of a local motel, and the vague information about the girl. Aside from the acting thing, it seems pretty straightforward. All I need to do now is get myself showered and dressed for the night. Luckily since we’re meeting directly at a hotel there isn’t any need to crack out my suit and tie. When I have to go to events that’s what I need to do, make myself look like a freaking posh penguin.

I take the stairs up to my dorm room two at a time, until I burst through the door and into my room where my roommate, Tyler, perches on the edge of the bed. Hearing me come in his eyes snap up to look at me instantly and he gives me a curious look.

“You okay, buddy? You’ve got that look on your face again. Hot date tonight, it is?”

Tyler is the only person who knows the truth about me, I trust him enough to tell him and I also wouldn’t be able to get away with it if he didn’t know. Also, for safety reasons I think it’s better that someone know where I am all the time. The escort company keeps tabs on me, but just as an extra security measure I feel like this is best. We use ‘dates’ to make it seem less… weird.

“Yep, hot date tonight with an aspiring actress who needs more passion in her life.”

He looks impressed as he nods. Tyler thinks it’s cool what I do, he doesn’t see any down side to it at all. If his biology classes weren’t so demanding and didn’t take up so much of his time, I think he would do it too just for fun. He certainly doesn’t need the money.

“Well, that sounds fun. Are you looking forward to it?”

I laugh at him while shaking my head. “I don’t know about that, I mean it is what it is.”

With that, I wander into the bathroom and I flick the shower on. While the water heats up I stare at my reflection in the mirror, wondering how the night will go. My cheeks twitch as I think, my green eyes twinkle with emotions, my jaw line looks tense. I lean on the edge of the sink and tense up my bulging arm muscles as well, watching my abs flex. I like keeping myself in shape, which is lucky because I have to in this line of work, women want me to look my best. Whether that’s in the bed or just on their arm as a date. Either way, I have to keep my fitness up.

That might be something that I have in common with this actress, she’ll probably have to look a certain way as well. Maybe that’ll give us something to talk about. I much prefer when I have something in common with the women because it gives us both a way to relax. I’ve had times when it’s been too awkward for words and it always ends up playing on my mind for ages afterwards. When it goes well, I can just move on past it and focus on the next one.

Here goes nothing… I think to myself as the time comes to step into the shower. Another night of… well, god knows what.

Chapter Three – Avril

I pace up and down the motel room, unable to think about anything sensible while I wait for my ‘date’ to arrive. I cannot believe that I allowed Carly to talk me into this, she’s just so persuasive. I guess I didn’t think about how it would feel when I’m here waiting for him alone.

He’s an escort, I think to myself as I chew down on my thumb nail. What the hell am I doing?

I make the snap decision to leave. I grab my bag and throw it over my shoulder to head for the door. This boy could turn up to no one here, it won’t matter to me, I just need to get away and get my head on straight. This is madness, I really shouldn’t be here, I need to be at home alone.

Knock, knock. My eyes snap towards the door as it hits me I’m too late. Someone’s knocking and it can only be one person… the escort is already here. I glance at the clock to see he’s right on time. My heart stops dead in my chest as I try to work out what I’ll do next. Knock, knock.

“Shit,” I mutter to myself while glancing left and right. “Fucking hell.”

“Is anyone there?” a chocolatey smooth voice calls out. “Hello?”

He sounds surprisingly nice, I think that might be the only thing that makes me step towards the door. It’s almost as if I’m in a hypnotic trance, like I’m out of control of my body.

“Hold on, I’m coming.” As I swing the door open, my breath catches in my throat. Standing in front of me is a tall, dark, and very handsome guy. He’s gorgeous! “Oh, right, hello.”

I feel small and silly next to him, I’m frumpy and nothing compared to him. He’s as intimidatingly good looking as Buzz, but he has a friendly expression too which makes him approachable. I get the impression that I could speak to him about absolutely everything.

“Hi there.” The guy doesn’t stop in the door frame to introduce himself. He steps inside and slams the door closed behind him. A strange darkness shrouds us. “Nice to meet you.”

A thick atmosphere fills the room, one that sets my body alight like I’m on fire or filled with electricity. I don’t know how to take it, it isn’t a way that I’ve ever felt before, so I take a step backwards. I suck a breath in, trapping the air in my lungs, and listen to my pounding heart.

“What are you…?” I try to ask him as he moves closer to me, but I don’t get a chance to finish that sentence. In the next second his hand hooks around the back of my neck and he crashes his mouth into mine, claiming me completely. His mouth is soft, but his kiss hard, his lips warm, his tongue wet.

He’s kissing me, I think in utter shock while I press myself into him. This is nuts.

I don’t know if I want to stop this anymore, even if it’s insane. I have to admit that Carly was right about one thing, this does feel a whole lot better than I expected it to. Even kissing other people hasn’t ever felt like this, there’s such a… a… passion! That’s the only way I can explain it.

“Oh my god,” I murmur as his mouth moves off mine and he slides his lips over to my neck. He hooks his fingers under the hemline of the summery dress I decided to wear out of ease, and he lifts it up over my head. It sends a shiver up and down my spine as the cooler air laps around me.

As the guy, who’s name I don’t even know, steps back, he runs his eyes up and down me. A big part of me wants to cover myself up, I don’t know if I want him to see me so exposed in only my cotton white underwear, especially as I know he must see hundreds of women all the time in his line of work, but his eyes are filled with desire. Even if it’s fake it makes me feel good about myself.

He tugs his tee shirt upright, pulling it over his head and shows me an incredible six pack. I thought Buzz’s was impressive when I caught a glimpse of it on the set one day, but it’s nothing compared to this. I feel delicate and feminine, like he could throw me over his shoulder.

Then his hands slowly and tantalizingly travel down to his trousers. He keeps his eyes fixed upon me as he tugs them down, showing me an impressive pair of thick, muscular thighs. This guy should be on the pages of a magazine or something, he’s like an actual fantasy or something.

“Oh wow,” I gush while clapping my hands to my mouth. “I don’t know what to say…”

“Don’t say anything,” he commands with a growl. “This isn’t a time for talking.”

He places his flat palms against me and pushes me backwards towards the bed. My feet step back willingly, switching my brain off as I go. I no longer care whether this is right or not, this guy and his commanding nature feels damn good. I need to feel good, it’s been too long.

I fall backwards onto the sheets and instantly he’s on top of me, kissing all over my neck and collar bone with his velvety fingers snake around my back to unhook my bra. As the material flutters away, I find my hips rolling into him. There’s a desperate need inside of me, an animalistic side of me that I didn’t know was there before. It feels good, I feel surprisingly sexy.

Maybe this is what I need to be channeling on set, I realize. Now, I can feel passion.

The guy’s hands slide between us and he grabs onto my breasts. My rock hard nipples press into his skin, soaking my panties as he flicks his thumb over me. I’m turned on, I’m so horny that I might scream. This is me finally feeling passion. I mean, it’s hardly surprising since I’m with a sex expert, but it feels so fucking good. I’m so glad I stayed, if I’d run, things would be different.

As his mouth travels down my body, one of my hands replaces his on my breast and I squeeze tightly. My other hand fists my hair and I push myself against him. I’m burning hot, my skin feels sticky with sweat, I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m a mess of sensations and I love it.

Then my panties are whipped from my body and every single inch of me is exposed. Before I can even wrap my head around that fact, his fingers have slipped into me, he’s massaging me in a phenomenal feeling way, and his tongue has connected with my clit. Fireworks explode, I feel like I’m opening up like a damn flower. This is the best thing to ever happen to me, it must be what a sexual awakening is like. It’s indescribable, it makes me feel like a whole other person.

“Oh shit,” I gasp as he grips onto my thighs, fixing me in place. “Fucking hell.”

I didn’t know it was possible to feel this good, I’ve always found oral sex a slightly unpleasant experience. Slimy and strange, but clearly I’ve been with the wrong man. The escort has my heart hammering so hard against my rib cage I fear it might explode free at any given moment.

I buck my hips, pushing myself into his mouth further, but just as I fear I might tip right over the edge into the pit of abyss, he yanks his mouth away, leaving me cold and alone.

“What are you…?” I start asking, but as I prop myself up onto my elbows to see him, the sentence falls apart on my mouth. His underwear is coming down and a condom is sliding on. “Holy hell!” He’s big, absolutely massive, the largest I’ve ever seen. How can I hack that?

With a playful smirk, he climbs back over the bed and he hovers over me. I can feel his tip teasing my entrance and I feel like if he doesn’t slip inside soon I might just die. I want him, I need him, this is the most intense feeling of my whole damn existence.

“Fuck me,” I beg him. “Please, I need you. You have no idea how much.”

With that, he pushes himself into me and my head falls back with desire. His huge size feels good… phenomenal actually. There’s a buzzing sensation that consumes me, it vibrates so loudly that I fear I might actually be shaking. I try my hardest to cling to this feeling, I need to hold onto the sensation, I can’t let it go because this is what I’m here for. This sexy goddess version of myself is who I need to be in the movie. Somehow, I have to become her for a short while.

With only a few thrusts, desire gets the better of me and I tumble. The pleasure gets me, it swallows me up whole and consumes me entirely. I buck and thrash, I writhe desperately underneath this guy and he holds me tightly, clutching me to him as the orgasm shatters through me. It feels nice, like I’m actually cared about, and for the moment it makes me forget that this isn’t real. It’s just a business transaction, this love is being paid for. But it feels much more than that. This feels deep. There’s a strange, inexplicable bond between us that feels powerful as our bodies lock in to one another.

That sensation becomes even more intense as I realize he’s coming too, hard and fast inside of me. I don’t know if that’s supposed to happen but it feels awesome, he finds me good looking enough to orgasm. Everyone has been making me feel worthless, this is the first time in a very long time that I’ve actually felt worthwhile.

Chapter Four – Owen

Now for the awkward bit. Whenever my job leads me to have sex, there is always a real fun bit – which I have to admit was even better with this girl than any other – but then it’s followed by the discomfort. The getting dressed while trying not to look at one another, the payment, the reminder that this is all just a business thing. I need an online banking system to avoid this.

“So, I better go in a moment,” I say quietly as I tug my tee shirt down, covering up the last couple of inches of my body. “If I could er, just get paid?”

“No,” she gasps, grabbing my instant attention. “Don’t go, not yet.”

The plan of a nice long shower followed by an early night in bed vanishes into nothingness as I hear her words. I don’t know what this is going to mean, but it’ll have to cost her. Just because I’ve had a good time with her, doesn’t mean I can give stuff away for free. If I start doing that then I’ll end up broke. I only do this for the cash, it’s not for my own pleasure.

“What do you mean?” I ask her with my head cocked curiously. “You want me to stay?”

“I’ll pay you for your time.” She gets that much at least, I don’t like having that uncomfortable conversation. Luckily most of the business stuff is done with Emma and the agency. “I just… I don’t feel like I know enough yet. That was great, but I really need to get things right.”

“You’re an actress, right?” I fold my arms across my chest. “That’s what this is about?”

An adorable blush fills her cheeks as she fixes her eyes on the ground. She’s pretty actually, she’s got a sweet face and as I’ve just seen a really nice body. I almost want to reach out and hold her, but I can’t because this isn’t a date or anything. This is a standard escorting transaction.

“Yes, I’m an actress and I’m in a movie. A good movie, one that I really need to do well in if I ever want to go far.” She brings her fingers up to her plump red, passion bruised lips and she touches them gently. “They keep telling me that I have no passion or chemistry.”

“What? You were incredible then!” I blurt out before catching myself. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, it made me sound as if I really like her. “I mean, maybe it isn’t you. What’s the other guy like? The one you have to act with?” She screws up her nose, unimpressed. “See? It’s him!”

“He does suck, I will admit that, but I’m supposed to be able to pretend that he doesn’t. That’s a whole thing with acting, isn’t it? I can do everything else, it’s just that.” She offers me a one shouldered shrug. “That’s why my friend, Carly, wanted me to hire you. To learn, I suppose.”

I can’t help being touched by her words, she really does seem to need my help. Much as I don’t usually like to extend my time with any clients, especially without telling Emma, I nod and agree to it. She doesn’t look dangerous, I don’t think I have anything to worry about. I can do this.

“I suppose I should, really awkwardly, find out your name then if we’re going to do this?”

“Oh right, of course.” She nods and giggles, a musical sound. “It’s Avril.”

“Avril, and I’m Owen.” I never usually give away my real name, but with Avril there’s something inside of me telling me that I can. “So, what do you need, Avril?”

“Erm, well there’s this one scene, it’s the one I’ve been trying to get done today. Buzz’s character, Ash, has just told me that he loves me and I need to be overcome with passion before I kiss him. Only… no matter what I do I cannot seem to get it right.”

I don’t know what to say to that, the way she kissed me was absolutely filled with desire, but I suppose that’s a different situation. “Why don’t you show me?”

“Urgh, do I have to?” She rolls her eyes dramatically. “I feel really awkward.”

“I have to see it somehow.” I know I can’t ply her with booze to get her to loosen up because she can’t be drunk on set, but I need to do something. “I know.” I grab my cell phone out my pocket and flick on some music. “Dance, have some fun, get loose first.” She looks at me like I’m insane. “Come on, trust me, it’ll work. You just need to loosen up your hips as a start.”

She doesn’t. Avril folds her arms across her chest and she stares at me stubbornly, so I do the only thing I can. I dance. I’ve had to for some jobs anyway so I don’t mind and I hope that encourages her to do the same. I throw my hands above my head and shake my hips without a care in the world.

“You’re mad,” Avril laughs. “You don’t know what the hell you look like.”

“I don’t care,” I assure her. “It doesn’t matter, it isn’t about looking good.”

Avril watches me for a while, slowly starting to move herself as she does. Her gestures are wooden and uncomfortable at first, it’s obvious that she’s shy being herself. I’d love to see her being more confident. It takes her a while, but soon she actually starts to enjoy herself.

That’s the moment that I take a step closer and I make her hips sway in a much sexier manner. Without even talking about it, I get her to dance in a way that shows off her curves perfectly. I don’t know if she gets it at first, but soon she seems to understand that this is what she needs. If she feels sexy in herself then she’ll find it easier to convey passion. I might not know how to act, but I do know how to look like I’m having the time of my life when I’m not.

“That’s it,” I whisper to her. “Now say your line. It doesn’t matter which one. Any will do.”

“Oh, my goodness,” she says cautiously. “I don’t know what to say to you. I never thought you would be here in front of me telling me that you love me. It’s all too much. I’m overwhelmed.”

“Say it more like you’re out of breath. Like you’ve just had mind blowing sex.”

“I have, so that shouldn’t be hard.” She says this almost like a snap comment before realizing what she’s done. “I mean… okay, let me try again.”

We work on her words for a while, before moving on to the way she carries herself. I get her to hold her head higher, to roll her shoulders back, to push her boobs out, I get her to walk with her hips swaying, to flick her hair as she flirts… I turn her into the version of herself that she wants to be.

The funny thing is in that moment I find myself liking her more and more. Even when I’m out on dates with clients I don’t ever feel like I know them. They might tell me things about themselves but I don’t really take any of it in, I simply answer in the way that I’m supposed to. But with Avril, I like her sweet, funny nature. I enjoy bantering with her. She’s nice. If I met her in any other way I would probably actually want to take her out on a date. A real one.

“I think you’re doing much better,” I tell Avril as a wave of sleepiness overcomes me. “I think now you’re actually acting like someone whose life is filled with passion.”

“You think?” Her eyes almost bug out of her head with excitement. “Thank you so much. Of course, that’s all because of you so I’m very grateful, thank you.” Her cheeks flush with utter joy, she looks so beautiful that I almost want to lean down and kiss her. “Things will probably be much better tomorrow and now, I can’t wait to get on the set and kick some ass.”

I rub my eyes, the sleepiness getting the better of me. “So, I suppose I better go…”

“You can stay here with me if you want?” Avril leaps in eagerly. “I don’t mind, it’s easier than leaving at, what is it? Three in the morning, ooh sorry about that I didn’t realize it was so late.”

I want to. There’s a part of me that’s yearning to cuddle up next to this girl and hold her, but I can’t. It’s dangerous, I’m working I can’t overstep any boundaries and get too close. That’s a recipe for disaster. I don’t want to go anywhere at this time, but I have to. It’s the smart thing to do.

“I really better go,” I tell her regretfully. “But I really have enjoyed my time with you.”

She hands me a wad of cash, one that’s much too big to be anything like what we originally agreed and I must give her a curious look because she explains how she has so much.

“My father runs a really successful business and he… he gave me a bunch of cash to move to the city to start my acting career. I don’t think he intended me to spend it like this but…”

“Call it an acting class,” I retort with a cheeky grin. “He can’t be mad at that, can he? And it’s sort of right. And you know, if you ever need any more just give me a call.”

“Call the number that Carly called?”

I don’t know what possesses me to do it, I act crazy out of character risking absolutely everything that I’ve built up, but it just feels like the correct thing to do in the heat of the moment.

“No, here’s my cell phone number.” I take out a piece of paper and scribble it down for her. “Call me directly on that.”

Chapter Five – Avril

“Yes, yes, yes!” Lee declares with utter glee. “Yes, Avril, this is amazing. Where have you been hiding this side of yourself?” He pats me on the back and beams down at me. “If I knew that you were going to pull this out of the bag then I never would have yelled at you all those times.”

“Oh well.” I blush and shrug. “I’m just glad that I got it right today.”

“That kiss… man, that kiss was something else! Wow. It was pretty much real.”

As my lips connected with Buzz’s in that scene, he vanished and became nothing. It was only Owen in my mind, kissing me and holding me close, just like he did last night. The memory of him kept me going in a way that leaves me with a deep thrill even now. Carly was right, experiencing real passion in my own life has made it so much easier to convey on screen. I’ll never forget that lesson.

“You know, I was going to cut it from the script, but I think we can do it now. A sex scene.”

In any day before today, those words would have filled me with dread. I might’ve actually been sick, but now I’m kind of excited. It’ll be quite cool to push myself in that way and it also means more screen time. The more that people see me, the wider my career will ultimately spread.

“Okay yeah, so when do you want to film that?” I ask Lee. “Today?”

“Yes. Let’s get all the costumes changed around and we’ll give it a go today. It might take a few takes because it’s something that we haven’t rehearsed, but yeah. We’ll try.”

I bound over to Carly, barely able to keep my feet still as I walk and her face breaks out into a giant grin once she spots me. The happiness radiates off me in a way that seems to be infectious to others. For the first time since we started this movie, I’m the ray of sunshine.

“Oh, my God,” Carly hisses to me as we make our way into my dressing room. “That was incredible. You were phenomenal today, that chemistry was sizzling. How the hell did you manage to do such a one eighty? Was my plan really that brilliant? I thought it would help, but…”

“Oh, my goodness, Owen was incredible,” I hiss to her once the door has closed behind me and I’m certain that we’re alone. “He helped me in so many different ways, I feel so lucky.”

“Wait, Owen? You got the guy’s name? I don’t think that’s normal, unless it was fake.”

“No, it wasn’t fake. We sort of became friends.” I beam even brighter at the memory.

“Please tell me you at least had sex with him!” Carly tosses her hands in the air in frustration. “That was half the point, for you to get some action. It really seems like you did…”

I bite down on my bottom lip, smirking. “Yes, we did and oh my God, it was off the scale.”

“Ooh that sounds so exciting. Tell me all the details.” She sits down in front of me, spinning the chair to face me dead on. “I want to know everything. Was he truly amazing?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” I slid my eyes closed and remember the sensation of his lips all over me. “It was like I was a virgin, I didn’t know anything until he came along.”

There’s a yearning in my chest that I won’t admit to Carly. I wish I’d met Owen under different circumstances and I could see him again. His cell phone number feels heavy in my wallet, all I want to do is pull it out and call him. And not just for his body, although that side of him was phenomenal. No, because I actually enjoyed spending time with him as well. He’s a nice guy, one I surprisingly got on well with. There wasn’t any point in which he made me feel silly or worthless.

“Wow, he sounds like an incredible lover. Maybe I should hire him for the night…”

There’s reality hitting me in the face. Carly’s seemingly innocuous statement reminds me that he’s paid love, not someone I can actually date. The only way I’ll see Owen again is in a professional capacity, and to be honest with the way that things have gone today, that isn’t going to be necessary at all. I shake off her words and I brush my hair out of my face as I try to get myself stoked.

“Right, you better make me look sexy now, I’m about to do my very first sex scene.”

“How naked are you going to be?” Carly runs her eyes up and down me in a way that’s reminiscent of last night. “How much of your body do I need to cover in make up?”

“I don’t think too naked.” I hope not, I might be ready but I don’t know if I’m that ready yet. “But you better do it all just in case. I don’t want to be unprepared for the worst.”

***

I flop onto my bed with exhaustion washing over me, every scrap of confidence zapping from my body as I do. Filming a sex scene is incredibly hard, much more work than I thought it was going to be. I assumed me and Buzz would have to get a bit frisky with one another and it would all simply fall into place. How wrong I was! It’s so technical and complicated, and as I now realize I don’t know how to move my body in a way that looks good at all. Even the fancy lighting can’t help.

I twist onto my front and shove my head into my pillow to scream silently so the neighbors can’t hear me. The noise is a real issue in this apartment block, I really need to move somewhere better but since the money is slowly depleting and I haven’t got anything solid to replace it yet, I don’t want to take on that risk just yet. Maybe if I get this right, but I’m not there yet.

“What am I going to do?” I mutter morosely to myself. Every time I get something right, I fuck something else up instead. It’s so messy, I hate it. Maybe I should do the dreaded thing of calling Buzz and arranging out of hours’ rehearsal with him until we get this right. I know the offer is there, he said it when we first started filming together, but I’ve managed to put it off until now.

Spending time with his arrogant ass on set is bad enough, I don’t want more.

I stare at the screen of my cell phone, willing myself to just do it already, but I can’t. I really don’t want to see that dreadful look of disappointment crossing his face every time I screw up. No, I think I need someone a bit more independent to tell me what looks good, someone who’s seen my naked body already and that I haven’t spent all day hating.

This isn’t an excuse to see him, I tell myself as I consider the only person who fits that description. I don’t want to see him, I need to. This is all business, nothing more.

As I dial out the numbers that Owen gave me last night my heart hammers anxiously in my chest. I think I must be going crazy, I cannot believe I’m doing this. Not only did I allow myself to get swept up by craziness last night, I’m inviting in to my life again. Who the hell am I?

“Hello?” Oh wow, that smooth voice of his makes me melt into a puddle. Just that one word is enough to have me pulsing with need all over again. “Who’s there?”

“Oh.” I suddenly realize that I’ve been silent swooning for far too long. “Right sorry, it’s Avril. From, erm, last night.” This is a mistake, why am I doing this. “You said I could call you?”

“Oh right okay sure.” He sounds uneasy which only confirms my stupidity. I squeeze my eyes shut and wish I could hang up without it being weird. I shouldn’t have spoke at all. “Yeah I said to call me if you need any help again. Do you? Need help, I mean?”

I sigh loudly and run my hand across my sweaty forehead. This is a desperate situation, that’s why I’m doing this, there’s no other reason at all. If I had any other choice I’d do that instead.

“Yeah, I do need help. I mean, I nailed the kissing scene today, I did everything that you suggested and it went really well. So well that they decided to add in a sex scene. Apparently, I’m not very good at that because I don’t know how to move my body in a flattering way.”

I should’ve called Buzz, I should have contacted Carly, anyone but Owen.

“Yeah okay, sure.” Owen doesn’t sound phased which relaxes me just a little bit. Even when I’m at my craziest he isn’t judging me. “Did you want to meet at the same motel again?”

“Yeah,” I agree because that actually sounds really smart. “Sure. Are you sure you don’t have any other work?” As I say that my gut twists with jealousy, which I need to disguise. “I understand if you do. I don’t want to get in the way of anything… I’ll pay for your time, obviously.”

“I’ll see you in an hour,” he chuckles. “Don’t panic, we’ll get this right, okay?”

His words relax me, and as I hang up the phone I notice that I’m breathing a lot easier. I don’t know what it is about Owen, but he has this knack of making everything feel much better. There’s something about his calm nature that compliments me well. I’m looking forward to working with him again because I know he’ll make it fun. But it’ll be purely acting today, nothing more. I don’t want to end up catching real feelings because then I’ll only end up with a shattered heart.

Chapter Six – Owen

“That’s better,” I say appreciatively as Avril listens to my suggestions. When she first called me, I thought this was going to be really awkward, but because we have such a good relationship it isn’t really. We’re laughing and joking and managing to make it fun. Maybe if the guy she had to do all of this with acted in a similar way then she wouldn’t be in this mess. “Really sexy.”

“You think?” As she peers over her shoulder to confirm my reaction, I feel a stirring in my pants. Her hair flickering over her back while her butt is in the air is too much. This isn’t about this today, as far as I can see it really is just acting coaching, she just wants me to assist her.

“Oh yeah I think.” I lean forward, trying to cover up the steel rod in my pants. I need to keep myself under control. “I think you look really good. I can’t see any way the director can kick off.”

She twists her body round into a sitting position and pouts out her bottom lip. “But how will it work with him underneath me? Will it still look as good? I don’t know if it’ll be the same.”

“Hold on!” I hold my finger up in the air to stop her as an idea comes to mind. “I have a plan.”

I grab the full-length mirror in the corner of the room and drag it to a position where Avril will be able to see herself. Then, without a moment of hesitation, I whip my clothes off down to my underwear, hoping that she doesn’t notice how turned on I am, and I slide beneath her.

“There,” I gasp, suddenly realizing how dangerous this is. Now that I’m here I can see that I’m far too close to Avril, especially since I’m all worked up already. “What do you think?”

She drags her eyes off of me for a moment to glance in the mirror and as she looks back at me I can see a flush to her cheeks. There’s a heavy, dark desire behind her eyes, she’s feeling this as much as I am which only intensifies everything. I’m buzzing all over, I don’t know what to do with myself. If Avril is in a similar state to me then there’s no helping either of us. We’re in too deep.

As our eyes connect, it’s as if there’s a powerful magnet between us, dragging us together, refusing to let us go. Her mouth slowly moves towards me and I watch it happening with awe. There’s a little voice in my head screaming at me that this is all wrong, but I’m entranced. She’s fascinated me, got me hooked and reeled in too, and I feel like I’ll give her absolutely anything.

What is it about you, Avril? I think as she nears me. There’s something addictive…

Then her lips crash into mine and everything transforms. The world vanishes from around us and it’s only me and Avril left. All the reasons this definitely shouldn’t be happening dissolve. It doesn’t even matter if this is an accident, if I shouldn’t have sex with a client that hasn’t been discussed beforehand, this is Avril and I want to give myself over to her completely, if only for a moment.

“Oh, Owen,” she gasps while rolling her hips towards me. “This is crazy, isn’t it?”

I trail a finger down her body, loving the sheen to her skin as I go. She’s actually trembling, the need inside of her is so intense that she’s physically pulsing. I don’t know if I’ve ever had an effect like that on a woman suppose, at least as far as I can remember. Then again, it’s all been pretty clinical and business for a long time now, so I haven’t looked out for things like this. It feels good.

Just as I reach the waistline of Avril’s barely there G string, Avril yanks her body away from me and she unexpectedly slides down my body until her butt is hovering below my knees. I push myself up to see what she’s doing, but she lies a palm flat on my chest and pushes me back down.

Holy shit, I think as my eyes roll backwards into my head. She’s too much.

Avril dips her hand into my boxer shorts and she pulls my thick erection free. As she runs her hand up and down my length, brushing her thumb over my tip as she goes, one thing is very clear. This isn’t a business thing, not anymore. When I’m an escort, it’s never about me, my pleasure hardly matters, but the way that Avril is holding onto me and touching me, this is about me.

“Oh fuck!” My hips buck right off the bed as she shocks me by taking this one step further. I wasn’t expecting it because my eyes were closed, but now she has the warm wet heat of her mouth all over my hard on. Her lips have clamped tightly around my shaft and her tongue is flicking all over me like I’m a damn lollipop. I glance down to see her gorgeous eyes looking at me. “Oh, Avril!”

I fist my hands up into her hair as she pushes me right down to the back of her throat, taking almost every damn inch of me in. I haven’t been touched like this for as long as I can remember, there aren’t any women that pay to pleasure the escorts, not in my experience anyway, so this is off the scale.

My breaths are ragged, my heart pounds wildly in my chest, I know if I’m not careful that I’m going to explode and lose myself already. If we’ve come this far I want to go all the way…

“Stop.” I pull her head off me gasping. “Not like this, stop.”

Avril gives me a cheeky smirk, she isn’t hurt by me pulling her off me because she knows the reason why. It’s only because it’s too intense and I can’t hack it. I push her back off me and I reach into my trouser pocket to grab a condom. Because I didn’t originally know what I was coming here for tonight, I came prepared and now I’m glad for that. This would be a mess otherwise.

I roll it down over myself, keeping eye contact with Avril the entire time, then once it’s on I yank her back to me. I sit on the edge of the bed and pull her onto my lap so we’re both facing the mirror to watch ourselves. This isn’t something I’ve ever done before but I’m sure it’ll be awesome. It might even help Avril with her work, killing two birds with one stone.

I tug her underwear to one side and slip into Avril and start bucking my hips to make her bounce up and down on top of me. She already has her breasts free so they move as we do, making my mouth salivate desperately. All I want to do now is take her nipple in my mouth again, but unfortunately, we’re in the wrong position to do this, so instead I work my hand around and I use my fingers to play with her clit. I’m still keen for her to enjoy this to the fullest, even if it isn’t work.

Avril moans and thrusts back against me, really getting into it. I can tell that seeing us both in the mirror is really doing it for her, just like it is me.

“You are really fucking beautiful,” I grunt as I run kisses over her shoulder. “Just look at yourself.” I don’t think she wants to at first, she seems shy. “Look, Avril, please. Do it for me.”

She does, and as she sees herself her eyes widen with shock. In the mirror, she’s free, disheveled, wild, and stunning. I hope she gets that. I want her to see herself through my eyes, if only for a moment. I think she’s wonderful, the prettiest girl I’ve ever laid eyes on in my life.

“Oh God!” Finally, the pleasure gets her and as she crumbles and thrashes above me, I hold her close. Her walls contract around me, dragging the orgasm from me too, and soon we’re coming together in a moment that feels so intimately wonderful that I actually might feel something.

Once we’re done, and Avril collapses onto the bed, the warm heat of the post orgasmic glow gives way to a cold shame. Not because of what just happened, because that was off the scale, but because I know it can’t ever go anywhere. I can’t date a client, that’s the most insane thing I’ve ever heard. It’s like the most basic rule of escorting. Never get feelings for anyone at work.

“I better go,” I gush desperately while grabbing my clothes back on. “This wasn’t… it wasn’t a good idea. We shouldn’t have done that. It makes things very complicated.”

“Owen, will you…” Avril tries to say something calm and probably rational to me, but I don’t want to hear it, I can’t while I’m in such a panic. Anxiety races through me, filling up my veins, making me feel like I cannot get enough air into my lungs however hard I suck it back. “Wait, please.”

“No, Avril, I have to go. I’m sorry, this… I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

I push out the motel door and I race rapidly towards the nearest taxi rank. I need to get out of here and back to college campus fast before I end up heading back there and scooping Avril up into my arms with a promise that I’ll love her forever more. I could, but I won’t. I’m not good enough for her. I can never be, especially not while I’m in this line of work.

It isn’t until I get into the nearest car and I’m whizzing along the road that I realize I didn’t even get payment from Avril for my time. That’s annoying, but probably for the best. It might be better for us to cut ties completely and never speak again. Even if I really, really want to.

Chapter Seven – Avril

My bed is cold, too cold for this morning. As I twist and turn uncomfortably under the sheets I realize that nothing feels quite right. My entire body shouldn’t feel this icy at all. I guess that’s because Owen isn’t here with me and I really wish that he was.

Shit this is bad, I think while shoving the pillow over my head. This is realty bad.

I already knew that I liked Owen, I felt very aware that my feelings were a bit too much… but now it’s more. It’s a whole lot more. I have the horrifying sensation that I’m seriously falling for him. I shouldn’t have done this, any of it. Stepping foot into the world of paying a man for sex was never going to work out well for me. I should’ve guessed that I would end up emotionally attached to him. Especially after last night when we had sex for a whole other reason entirely. No money ever exchanged hands, there wasn’t even a mention of payment. It’s all too confusing.

Thinking about last night stirs and churns up my entire body. It wasn’t ever supposed to be that but we lost control of ourselves. An intense sensation overcame us and we couldn’t hold back even if we wanted to. That powerful magnetism, the bubble of chemistry, it was undeniable. Maybe if either of us had considered it for a moment, we would’ve run in the opposite direction, but maybe not.

I make myself stand and I throw my head into my hands in desperation. What the hell am I going to do now? I’ve made such a mess of things that it doesn’t seem like there’s anywhere to turn. I can’t exactly call up Owen and ask him what he thinks about all of this, he’s an escort, one that couldn’t get away from me quick enough last night, proving that he doesn’t want to know. I guess I just need to take this as a learning experience, be glad for the things I’ve learned and try to move on.

I huff as I move across the room, trying to forget the sinking feeling in my chest. I have a job to do today and some more information to help me achieve it. I’ve got to get in there, kick some ass at this stupid sex scene and then hopefully not think about romance again for a very long time…

***

“You did good today,” Buzz comments as we walk off set in a much more pleasant tone than he usually uses to address me. “I’m impressed, you really pulled it out the bag.”

The compliment feels weird when I’m semi naked with only a skin colored G string and a tiny towel covering my body, but I try to take it graciously. It feels nice to have him being sweet with me, it isn’t what I’m used to. Usually he looks at me like I’m a much lesser being than him.

“Oh right… thanks,” I reply with a small smile playing on my lips. “It wasn’t easy…”

“You made it look easy. I mean, today you moved your body brilliantly. It was almost as if you could see yourself through the camera lens and you knew how to make it work.”

I can’t reply to that because instantly it fills me with images of Owen. He helped me to understand exactly what I need to do. Watching myself in the mirror… well that was a lesson I don’t think I’ll ever forget. But of course, I’m not thinking about him right now.

“I just, erm, did some real thinking about it and luckily it worked out well.”

I shrug my shoulders in a coy way and turn to move towards my dressing room. This is definitely the sort of conversation that I’d much prefer to have dressed but it seems that Buzz has other ideas. He fixes his hand onto my shoulder and he spin me back around to look at him.

“You know…” He pauses and clicks his tongue a couple of times before nodding. “Yeah, you know what? I think me and you should go out some time. Like for a date or whatever.”

My heart leaps up into my throat, I can barely believe his words. When I first took this job I would’ve jumped at an opportunity like this. Buzz is gorgeous, that’s why he’s been picked to play the male lead role in this movie, but as I’ve gotten to know him I haven’t liked him as much. But today he’s being nice, and today more than ever I really need someone to be nice to me.

“Are you serious?” I gush in shock. “What do you mean? Like, for real?”

Buzz laughs at me and he rests a hand on my arm. I wait for the butterflies to flap through my body, but they don’t. Everything remains stoically still within me. “Of course, I’m serious. You’ve been so awesome to work with and you’re good looking too. We look good together.”

I part my lips, about to make my excuses since this doesn’t feel like the sort of moving on I should be doing, but before I get a chance to say anything, Carly pipes up from behind me, making me jump since I didn’t even know she was there. “She would love to!” she declares with gusto. “Shall we say seven PM tonight? You can pick her up at the end of Fuller Street?”

I half expect the childishness of my friend getting in the middle to put Buzz off, but it doesn’t. He chuckles and nods, agreeing with Carly which effectively seals the deal for me. Looks like I’m going on this date with my co star after all, and I’m not even excited about it.

“What did you do that for?” I gush once Buzz has gone. “Have you gone insane?”

“Have you?” Carly’s eyes burn holes in me as she flings her hands onto her hips. “Buzz is a good-looking actor, who by the way has more fame than you at the moment, so why wouldn’t you?”

“Are you actually suggesting that I go out with him for fame?” I’m horrified, I don’t ever want to become that person. The girl in a ‘showmance’. “Because that’s crazy.”

“It couldn’t hurt.” She shrugs. “But no, I think you should because you’ve just got yourself back up on the horse, so why not take that one step further and go dating? You really need to get back out there in the romantic world and I think that this is a good place to begin. You and Buzz have chemistry, you have something in common, you could make a cute couple.”

“He isn’t the nicest though, is he?” I pout back. I don’t like this plan at all. Maybe I do need to forget but this feels all kinds of wrong. “I haven’t ever really got on with him until today…”

“Which is why today is the perfect day. Trust me, Avril, you need this.”

I suppose in a way her words are right, but that doesn’t mean I want to hear them. It’s smart to think about dating when I haven’t for so long, I do miss the idea of love and I want to invite it into my life, but with Owen still firmly playing in my mind, how can I? I have butterflies with him, real feelings, he’s like a friend as well as someone I like. But of course, he’s also out of bounds.

“Urgh, I don’t have a choice anyway?” I glance behind myself to see Buzz leaning up against the wall and sipping some water, still half naked. Objectively he’s still stunning, but is that going to be enough? “You’re going to have to help me with this, you do understand that?”

“Oh yes, we must find the perfect dress for you to wear. Especially if the paparazzi are going to photograph you which I’m sure they’ll want to.”

I have the funny feeling that Carly’s thinking more about that side than the date side, but I can’t be bothered to push her on it. I suppose a big part of being an actress is being photographed anyway so if this helps then so be it. I need all the encouragement I can to get me on this date.

“Right, I think we better get you dressed now, I don’t know what Lee’s plans are for the rest of the day. I’ll go and speak to him and find out…”

As Carly races off, I head to my dressing room to lock myself away to get the privacy that I so desperately need. Once alone I grab out my cell phone and am crushed by the lack of communication. I guess I thought he might send me a message or something throughout the day, wanting to talk.

I need to delete his number, I tell myself decidedly. Cut him out of my life completely.

I hover my finger over the delete button, willing myself to press it but there’s a deep resistance there. Something in my brain really doesn’t want me to, and I’m sure it’s the part of me that’s falling deeply for Owen when I know that I shouldn’t be. I jolt my finger, but yank it back up again before I do the deed. I have a mental block, one that won’t let me go.

Delete his number, go on this date with Buzz, and move on. Who knows, he might even be a gentleman. He might be ‘the one’ and I push him away because I can’t let go.

“Right…” Luckily Carly bursts into the room before I have to make a choice. “Lee wants to redo a couple of the apartment scenes to get them just right, so we need to find that dress you wore.”

I drop my cell phone back on the side and concentrate on getting changed. That, I know I can do, it’s certainly a lot easier than being bold and smart and getting rid of Owen. Even now, when he’s clearly rejected me, he has a hold over me. Really, it’s embarrassing!

Chapter Eight – Owen

“You okay, Owen?” Tyler asks me, sounding concerned. “You’ve been staring at that page in your text book for over an hour now. The same one. What’s going on, mate?”

I sigh loudly and drop the book. To be honest I didn’t even know that I still had it in my hands. It was supposed to be a distraction from all the confusion circling my brain but it hasn’t done anything to help at all. If anything, I’m more lost in Avril than I was beforehand. She’s consumed me!

“Yeah, this crap is just a bit dull, that’s all. I think I might need to go to the library…”

“Woah, boring, are you serious?” Tyler touches my forehead as if he’s hunting for a fever. “You love all this business studies crap. I’ve never known you be bored of it. You can’t start thinking that way now, this is all nearly over. It’ll be into the big wide world soon enough!”

He’s right, I know he is. About all of it. I do love my course, that’s why I’ve scarified so much to be here. Plus, I need to get this qualification if I don’t want to end up escorting forever more, I don’t exactly have family money to fall back on anymore, but that doesn’t make me feel any better.

“Something has been going on with you over the past couple of days. Ever since you went to see that actress. Did something happen on that job? You were there much later than you said you would be. I might not understand much about what you do, but you know you can talk to me.”

I avert my gaze, not wanting Tyler to see right through me. In a way, he’s right. It has only been a couple of days, we’ve only seen each other twice. I shouldn’t be this complicated. I should be able to extract myself from the situation easily and that should be the end of it. I don’t understand why my heart physically aches at the idea of never seeing Avril again.

“Nothing happened,” I reply flatly. “It isn’t like that. We just…”

“Oh, my God, it’s finally happened!” Tyler sounds aghast as leaps up. “You’ve fallen for her, haven’t you? You’ve finally come across a client that you actually like! You don’t need to answer me because I already know. It’s written all over your face. You’re in love.”

“I’m not in love, I’ve only met her a couple of times,” I shoot back, but my voice is tart, making it excruciatingly obvious that he’s hit the nail on the head. “Anyway, it hardly matters, does it? I can’t start falling for clients, it’s all wrong. I’ll just have to never take jobs with her again.”

I try to make it sound simple, but it isn’t and Tyler knows that as well as I do. The idea of Avril ringing up and booking an appointment with someone else destroys me – even though I don’t think she will – and the concept of her actually meeting someone is even worse. The thought of her in love with another man makes me want to weep with rage. I haven’t ever been like this before over anyone, I’ve never been the jealous type even in relationships, but Avril seems to bring it out of me.

“Why are you being so strange about it?” Tyler laughs. “Does it really matter if you like someone that you’ve worked with? Is it that much of a big deal? Are there rules?”

“Of course, there are rules! It isn’t a seedy company I work for, they are legit.”

I gather up my things, needing to make an escape. This conversation is making me very uncomfortable, Tyler is attempting to force me to face some home truths that I’m not really in the mood for. This is challenging enough without him making it worse.

“What sort of girl would want to date an escort anyway?” I blurt out thickly. “None, so it isn’t even an issue. I really do need to get to the library now, I have too much work to do to worry about this. I’ve got an essay to write, an exam to study for… I can’t think about this any longer.”

I stomp off, ignoring Tyler’s pleas for me to stay and talk to him some more. I don’t want to actually get upset about this dumb situation that I’ve allowed myself to fall into, especially not in front of my friend. I need to just bury my head back in college work and to forget all about it.

Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

My heart lifts for a brief second as I hear my cell phone, I have the idiotic hope that it might be Avril but that hope fades once I get that it’s my work phone. This will only be Emma, offering me more work and there’s no chance it’ll be with the one person I want it to be since she would contact me directly. No, this is a job that will help me to move past my current confusion.

But I don’t answer. Instead of picking it up, I hit the reject button and stuff it back into my pocket. I should work, I need to work, nothing has changed in that department, but I can’t even think about it right now. The idea makes me sick. I need a little time out, I just hope Emma understands. I’m not usually one to simply not answer her call, so I hope she realizes I need this break.

With my head bowed low and my heart sunken in my chest, I get into the library where I shove my things onto the nearest free table. I already know that actual education won’t work as a distraction today, I’ve already tried that and all I did was think about Avril and her beautiful face, her sweet smile, her soft skin, the way that she turns from a cutie pie into a sex goddess at exactly the right moment… No, what I need to do today is something more productive. If I focus on my future, it might work.

I grab some reading material and a tablet and I begin searching for companies that I might want to work for once my time at college is over. Ultimately, I want to start my own business, that’s always been a dream of mine, but I’m not going to do it without some genuine experience first. I need to get in, to see how successful companies do it, then I can work out my own strategies.

This is something I can absorb myself in, it helps me to focus. Thinking about where my life will be once I leave all of his behind is useful. That’s the sort of time where I’ll be able to think about love and that sort of thing, I don’t need to do it now. I’m only young anyway, I don’t know anyone who finds their ‘happy ever after’ at this age. Avril is just a phase, I will get over her soon.

“Hey there,” Delia’s voice pierces my brain., making me grit my teeth together. I can’t ever seem to catch a break. “You look busy. What are you doing?”

“I am busy,” I tell her forcefully. “Busy trying to work out where I’m going once all of this is done. We won’t be in the college bubble for too much longer, I need to think about it.”

“Just work for your daddy’s firm, that’s what I’m going to do.”

Delia’s blasé attitude annoys me, but mostly because I probably was like that not so long ago. I assumed I would walk out of college and straight into a job with daddy, before my entire life fell apart. Much as it sucks to have that happen to me, I think it’s given me a new perspective on life too. In a very strange way I’m glad. I wouldn’t want to be this self entitled ass.

“Since we’re nearly at the end of college, you really need to take me out on a date.”

As Delia winks at me, suggesting that our date would lead to the bedroom very quickly, I have to admit that I feel tempted. Only by the idea of losing myself in someone that isn’t a client for a while to help me forget about Avril, not by her, but the temptation isn’t enough. This girl is drama, and while she’s good for one night stands, I don’t want to invite anything else into my life. I just want to get out of college with my head above water. At the moment, it’s only barely happening.

“No, Delia, I can’t take you out,” I sigh wearily. “It’s never going to happen.”

“Can you not afford to, because we don’t have to go anywhere fancy.” Her fingers lightly brush up and down my arm in what I assume she thinks is a seductive manner. I doubt she’s ever had to try this hard for anyone before. “We don’t have to go anywhere except for your bedroom.”

It could be mindless, emotionless, animalistic, and just fun but still I don’t want to. I don’t want to disrespect what I’ve just had with Avril for something that’s unimportant. I could, but I won’t. In fact, I might not go near anyone again until I know that it’s actually going to become something. I can’t risk this feeling again, it’s killer. One heart ache is bad enough, thank you very much.

I peel Delia off me and give her a determined look. “I can’t, I’m sorry. I know that’s going to annoy you but I can’t. It isn’t going to happen ever so you’re better off focusing your attentions elsewhere. I hope you understand. I’m not going to be dating or hooking up with anyone until after college. I don’t have a job to simply walk into, so I need to focus on the future.”

She doesn’t, I can tell, but she’s going to have to. I just hope I haven’t unleashed a fury unbounded because I really don’t need that right now.

Chapter Nine – Avril

The restaurant is beautiful, one of the poshest places that I’ve ever eaten in my entire life, and the food is delicious. Full of flavor and presented beautifully. The waiting staff can’t do enough to help me and my date which makes me feel a bit like a princess, and me and Buzz are both dressed like we’re headed out to the Oscars or something. On the surface of things, this date is incredible.

So why the fuck do I hate every single second of it? What the hell is wrong with me?

“…yeah, so when I was on the set of that robot film, I can’t remember the name of it now, but it did really well in the box office, I was voted the best bum of the year…”

Ah yes, of course. I’m with the dullest, most arrogant man on the planet, that’s why. Everything that I feared would be bad about spending time with Buzz is the truth. I cannot believe that I allowed Carly to talk me into this. She might have been right in the past, but not now. Buzz is unbearable, I can barely stand his company at all. He hasn’t even asked me a question once, all he’s done is go on about himself. On and on and on. I want to scream with frustration.

He doesn’t actually like me either, that’s been made very clear to me. It seems to be a tactic of his to be seen out with his co stars, I guess that because of all the stories he’s told me about other leading ladies that he’s been out with. I suppose it’s no different to what Carly told me to do, but it still feels cold. My initial instincts were right, I don’t want to be that girl. If I d manage to build up a career, I want to do so via my own merits, not because of the men on my arm.

“Wow, that’s really something,” I reply in a monotone voice. “A very proud moment.”

I was only being the littlest bit sarcastic, but Buzz leaps on that. “It was actually. I mean, that’s why I spend so much time in the gym, isn’t it? To build up my body for things like that, so to know that the public is out there watching me and noticing… it’s nice. Who knows, you might even get a similar award for your role in this movie. The audience will probably see a lot of it.”

I push my plate away, unable to eat anymore. His words make me feel ill, I have absolutely nothing in common with him. Not like I do Owen… Owen and his funny nature, his sweet words, the way he makes me feel absolutely comfortable with just being myself. I miss him. I know I’m not supposed to be missing him and that’s a big part of this, but I do. I just cannot help it.

“Probably a good idea, not to finish that cake.” Buzz nods towards my plate. “You can’t afford to pile on the pounds now, can you? Not when you’re about to hit it big…”

“Maybe we should go,” I say sharply while pushing my chair back. I don’t want to smack him in the mouth because we still have to work together, but I’m getting dangerously close to doing so. If he says anything else remotely like that, I don’t know if I’ll be able to hold back. “We should get some beauty sleep before tomorrow, shouldn’t we? We don’t want to go into work tired.” Buzz’s eyes bug out of his head and I quickly realize my mistake. “I mean to sleep alone.”

He could be the best-looking man on the planet and he isn’t getting into my bed tonight. Buzz hasn’t helped me to forget about Owen at all, all he’s done is remind me how much better he is than him. If I’d been out to dinner with Owen, even if we’d only eaten fast food in our sweat pants it would’ve been so much better. At least I would’ve had fun. This has been hell.

“Wait a minute then.” Buzz sulks and he pulls out his cell phone. “I need to tell my agent that we’re leaving. The photographers will want to get ready.”

My heart sinks. Much as I knew this would potentially be a part of tonight I didn’t know Buzz would invite it in. He’s basically asking people to picture us together which is gross.

“Do we have to do that?” I ask with a screwed-up nose. “Can’t we just slip out?”

Buzz looks at me like I’m an alien with about three extra heads. Clearly, he doesn’t understand me one bit. We’re two different people from opposite universes. Yes, I want to be a successful actress and I know that fame is a side effect of that, but I don’t want fame just for the sake of it.

“We have to be photographed, we need to be seen together or what’s the point?”

There are so man retorts that I could give to that, but I don’t. There isn’t any point, it’s written all over Buzz’s face that this is all he knows. I don’t want this, but I’ll suck it up if I can escape.

“Fine, whatever.” I purse my lips angrily. “I’ll pose and smile for a couple of pictures, but I don’t want to talk to any of them and I don’t want you to talk about me.”

“They will ask…” Buzz insists, but I’m not in the mood for his bullshit.

“I don’t care. Either you promise me that you’ll say nothing or we aren’t doing this.” I glare at him like he’s the Devil or something. “I’ll sneak out the back or something.”

“Okay, I’ll just brush it off if they ask. Although that’ll probably make them more suspicious. Sometimes the made-up stories are a million times worse than the real one.”

After tonight, I highly doubt it. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take. Come on.”

A few moments later we’re given the green light and we step out of the building. The camera flashes are so bright they’re almost blinding, but I don’t let that stop me from smiling. If anyone asks me, I’ll just say that me and Buzz are friends. Of course, the journalists will stretch it into the story that they want to be the truth, but I don’t care. I know this isn’t anything and so does Buzz. What strangers who read and believe everything think isn’t any of my business. I’m not exactly A list anyway so I’m sure there will always be someone more interesting than me out there to gossip about.

“Can we go now?” I ask Buzz through gritted teeth. “It’s been more than two minutes.”

He grips onto my arm, holding me closer to him. “Not yet, we need to do this right.”

“Are you two an item now?”, “How long have you been together?”, “Are things serious between you?”, “Did you meet on the set of the movie you’re filming together?”.

Questions fly, but I refuse to answer any of them and I pinch Buzz’s arm hard so he can’t either. The less we say, the less they have to add meat to the bones of their story. Even though Buzz is better known that me, he isn’t front page material. For now, I think I can survive this.

“Let’s leave.” Finally, I’ve had more than enough so I push my way through the crowds and Buzz has no choice but to follow me. I don’t think he wants to, but it’s tough. I’ve done what he wants, now it’s time for him to do what I want. “Can I get a ride in your car?” I ask him while already stepping inside. “I don’t want them to follow me. They might think they can get more info out of me alone.”

“Do you have to go home?” Buzz asks me in a small voice. “You can always come and stay with me, you know? I don’t necessarily expect anything, I can just get a bit… lonely.”

It’s strange, under his façade he isn’t the worst person in the world. There’s actually a nice person there who my heart goes out to, but not enough to make me want to spend the night with him.

“I can’t I’m afraid, Buzz,” I tell him regretfully. “I actually have some stuff I need to take care of. I’m sorry. But if you’re ever lonely we can always hang out again as friends.”

Maybe if we become actual friends I can give him some advice. He could do so much better for himself if he drops the cocky mask and actually shows some vulnerability. Girls would flock to him, and nice ones that actually want to be with him, not fame hungry wanabees who don’t like him.

But tonight, definitely isn’t the time to share that observation. I’ll wait.

I give Buzz my address and stare out the window while we whizz along the road, pondering over my choices. I know that time is a great healer, I’m sure I can get over how I’m feeling with regards to Owen if I allow myself the chance to do so, but is that what I want? Will that make me happy? Distracting myself hasn’t worked – although I suppose I didn’t pick the best guy to try that experiment with – and I also couldn’t bring myself to delete his number. There’s a reason for that and I’m not sure that ignoring it is healthy either. There’s something there, it isn’t something I’m used to, but I do know I want more of it.

Maybe this is the wine talking, although I only had one glass, I think I need to contact Owen again to see. I don’t want to go through my life with unanswered questions, I think that’ll be worse than having regrets. This might be the craziest thing that I ever end up doing, he’s someone I shouldn’t be able to be with really, but I can’t help myself. I want to try.

Chapter Ten – Owen

The next time my phone rings, it’s my cell not my work phone, which is the only thing that makes me look at it. I’m utterly stunned to the core when I see the number on the screen, just as I’d gotten myself adjusted to the idea that it really is time to move on, she’s reaching out to me again.

Am I dreaming? I ask myself with a sharp shake of my head. Have I lost it?

But no, I really do seem to be awake. The one thing that I’ve been hoping for and dreading all at the same time has happened and now I don’t know what to do with myself. I shouldn’t answer, this isn’t the healthiest of ideas, but I already know that I’m going to. The need to see her again is too much. Knowing that she wants to communicate with me too is too powerful to overcome.

“Hello? Avril?” I say quietly, not wanting to disturb Tyler from his sleep.

“Owen, oh thank goodness. I was so afraid that you weren’t going to pick up then!”

I sit up in bed and cradle the phone closer to my ear. She sounds so geuninly pleased to hear from me that I can’t help wanting to cling tightly to her. “Of course, I would answer.”

“What are you doing right now? Are you busy? I don’t want to disturb you or anything.”

“I’m not too busy to speak to you.” I slide off the bed and head out into the hallway where I can speak to her privately. There are people milling about, but no one interested in me. “How are you?”

“I was actually wondering if we could have a conversation face to face.”

The idea of seeing her face again makes my heart beat faster in my chest. I know it’s wrong and that makes it even more tempting. All I want to do is throw myself at her mercy, to forget about what’s smart, but I do need to keep some distance. One of us needs to keep our head on.

“I don’t know if we should.” I run my fingers through my hair, tugging hard on the ends to give myself some physical pain as I hurt the both of us. “After what happened last time…”

“I know, I know, that wasn’t smart, but don’t you think we should discuss it?”

“Not if…” Urgh, I hate myself. “Not if we aren’t going to see each other again.”

She pauses for a moment too long, giving the cringe time to almost swallow me up whole. My feet pace up and down, to anyone else here I probably look like a crazy person but I really don’t care.

“Is that what you want?” she finally asks me. “To never see one another again?”

Of course, I want to, everything is screaming painfully inside of me to tell her yes, but I clench my lips together tightly to keep the words inside. But I explode, I can’t stop myself, the words fly out of my mouth without me even meaning to. It’s like word vomit pouring out.

“Yes, of course I want to see you again.” Damn it, I’m a freaking idiot! I face palm, knowing that I’ve made things even more complicated. “I mean, if you want to…”

“I do want to,” She giggles adorably. “So, would you come and see me again, please?”

I know I can’t reject her, not again. “Sure. At the motel again? Same room as before?”

“Not the motel. I want you to come to my house.” If the softness of her tone doesn’t melt me, her words do. She’s really inviting me into her life, her real life. “Is that okay? I know we don’t normally do that but I think this is a little bit different, don’t you?”

Different… different, like more. That’s what she means. She wants this to go further. It’s what I want too, but I don’t know if I can go for it. Things haven’t changed, I’m still an escort which means I can’t actually date. I’m also still young, which makes all of this pointless… but I want to try. Damn it, I can’t stop myself, I really want to give this a go. I want to know.

“I think…” I gulp desperately. “I think that’s a good idea. I think that we should talk.”

“Okay so if I text you my address, you’ll come? It doesn’t have to be for long…”

“I’ll come.” She really doesn’t need to worry about this. I’m definitely going to turn up because I need to know what she wants to talk about. If I don’t go, I’ll end up torturing myself for ever more, wondering how things would’ve been different if I’d just given me and Avril a try. “I’ll come now.”

I shake off any negative feelings as I hang up the phone and I make my way back into the room to get changed. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I do know it’ll be a game changer, one way or another. Seeing Avril will affect everything from here on out.

***

I stare at the door to Avril’s apartment with my heart racing against my rib cage. My fingers are itching to life up and knock but I’m afraid to actually take that step. I probably look like a creep out here in the middle of the night, dithering, but I still can’t make myself act.

All of a sudden, I don’t need to. The door swings open and she gives me a shocked look.

“Oh,” she gushes while clutching her hands to her chest. “I was just going to look for you, to see if you had any trouble finding the place. I didn’t realize you would be out here.”

I chuckle nervously, while stuffing my hands into my pockets awkwardly. I don’t know what to do now, this is all so strange. “Yeah, sorry I was just…” I can’t explain, it’s too hard.

“Come in.” Avril ushers me inside. “We’ll discuss it inside. It’s not hallway talk.”

As I walk through her apartment I scan my eyes everywhere, learning more about her as I go. My dorm room is dull. White and bland, filled with only the odd dirty item of clothing and text books. It’s purely practical, me and Tyler only have what we need. Avril is the complete opposite. She has funny looking trinkets everywhere, pieces of colorful art on the walls, and books and magazines scattered about the place. It’s very homely and sweet. It makes me like her even more.

“Your place is nice,” I comment, clearly trying to break the ice with small talk. “I like it.”

“Yeah, it’s small, I guess, but it’s good just for me.” She takes me into her living room slash kitchen and invites me to sit down. “Thank you for coming, Owen, it means a lot.”

It’s then I really look at her and I see the posh black dress she has on and the delicate waves in her blonde hair. I spot the professional looking make up dusted over her eyes and across her face, the glossy look of someone who has just stepped off the red carpet.

“Where have you been?” I have to ask. “I mean, you look really nice.”

“I’ve actually just been on a date with the co star in my movie.”

A lump of bile rises in my throat, all of a sudden I have a feeling that this conversation is going to go a very different way to what I want. I guess despite everything I hoped it would be a loving conversation where she told me that she liked me, but now it’s starting to seem like it might be a ‘thank you for teaching me how to be sexy, I’ve landed the man of my dreams because of it’ instead.

“You… you have?” I ask cautiously, trying to keep my emotional response locked away. I don’t want Avril to know how I’m feeling, how embarrassing! “And how did that go? Was it fun?”

“It wasn’t fun at all. In fact, on his behalf I think it was nothing more than a publicity stunt.” I feel a sick sense of satisfaction as she says this. “You might see some pictures of us together tomorrow but trust me, it was nothing like it appears. Buzz is dull and awful. Not for me at all.”

“Right…” I don’t want to jump ahead of myself, but I do want to know why she’s saying this.

“Being with him just made me realize how much I like you. I really like you, and I know it hasn’t been a long time but we have a connection, don’t we? I think we’re good together.”

“Certainly, in bed!” I try to make a joke out of it, in case it isn’t what I think.

“Yeah, definitely that, but other things too, I think we have a good bond too. I think we get on well. I think…” She pauses for a second and glances downwards. “I think we could be a couple.”

The magic words, the ones that I so desperately want, but that I’ve been dreading at the same time. Yes, I want to be hers, I want to see what it’ll be like for her to be mine, but all the reasons why it’s complicated still stand. I can’t have a girlfriend and my job, that’s why it hasn’t happened before. I don’t even think someone as awesome as Avril will understand, and I wouldn’t want to either.

I stare into her eyes, willing her to understand why I’m going to have to reject her. I really don’t want Avril to take it to heart, this isn’t her fault at all, it really is me not her. Her eyes plead with me, I can see her begging me to open up, to give her a try, but there’s a block.

I part my lips, finally forcing the word up my throat, and finally it bursts free.

“Yes,” I gasp, surprising even myself. “Yes, let’s do this. Avril, I want to give me and you a try.”

Chapter Eleven – Avril

As he says the words that I’ve been longing to hear my heart explodes with glee. I throw myself at him and fling my arms around him, holding him close to me. It feels right, being with him in this way. I couldn’t imagine ending this crazy night in any other way, Owen is definitely who I want.

“This is a bit heavy, isn’t it?” he says thickly while we pull apart. “We’re what? Three days… and it feels like we’re diving in with both feet. Is this what normal people do?”

“Definitely not,” I agree with a chuckle. I’m so overcome I could weep with joy. “But I don’t think we’re normal so it’s okay. We met in a strange way and we’ve been weird ever since. I suppose all that we have left is to carry on like that. Being the oddest people that either of us know.”

Owen grabs me and he pulls me close to him. Our lips crash together and the magnet keeps us there, locked in together, our mouths moving in unison. The passion that flows between us hasn’t lessened, if anything now that we’re more sealed together it’s better. I can feel it much deeper, right down into my core. The butterflies are back with a vengeance and I love feeling them.

“I don’t want to have a serious talk,” Owen mutters against my mouth, his breath tickling me all over. “I’d much rather kiss you some more, but I think we need to, don’t you?”

“Like what?” I reply with my eyes slid closed. Desire has me now, I don’t want to speak.

“Like my job…” Okay, fair enough. My eyes snap open and reality grips me. “That’s something I think we really need to talk about, don’t you? It’s potentially a big issue.”

The idea of him continuing on even going on dates with other women, let alone sleeping with them is too much. It sends a nasty snake of jealousy shuddering up and down my spine. I really don’t want to be the girl who tells Owen to change, especially when we’re minutes into this thing, but I might have to. I don’t think my mental health can take anything else.

“Erm, yeah, you’re right.” I gulp and take a step backwards. “Do you have to keep doing it?”

He shrugs and gives me a helpless look. “I’m only doing it to help me get to the end of my college course, after which I’ll get a job and fund myself. I don’t have too much longer left but I’m not sure I can complete it without the injection of cash every so often.”

No, I don’t like this, it’s too much. I run my eyes up and down his body, instantly forming another plan, one that I hope will work for us both. I don’t want him to struggle for me.

“Have you ever considered doing any extra work? That can pay quite well and you’ll be able to fit it around your studies? I know they’re always looking for bodies to fill the background on the movie I’m working on now. They’re all like that, and I have the connections. I can hook you up.”

“Really?” He ponders this curiously for a moment. “It isn’t anything that I’ve ever considered before but I suppose I could. I wouldn’t need to do much, would I?”

“Mostly it’s just standing in the background. I don’t know how the pay would compare to what you’re getting now, but it’s better than waiting tables.” I chew on the inside of my mouth while I consider what I’m saying. I hate that I sound so controlling. “But it’s up to you, whatever you want…”

“I don’t want to carry on doing my job if that’s what you mean,” he insists rapidly. “It’s only a temporary thing anyway, not something I love and can’t live without.” He links his fingers through mine sending sparks of electricity racing all through my system. “I always told myself I wouldn’t get into a relationship while doing this job, I’ve done everything that I can to avoid any sort of romantic link… but then you came along and changed absolutely everything. I didn’t expect it, but now I’m glad that you have. I’m willing to struggle and middle through with you. I want to try, to see what we could be to one another. And being some extra sounds fun anyway. I’d love to give it a go.”

“Do you think we’ll last?” I can’t help but ask. “Do you really think we have a chance?”

“Who knows?” Owen replies. “But I think we’ve got as good a chance as any.”

With that we’re kissing once more, no longer worrying about what the future may or may not hold. This is a passion worth sacrificing everything for, Owen is a man that I cannot wait to get to know better, I could so easily properly fall for him given half the chance.

I hook my arms possessively around his neck and claim him as my own with my kiss. He belongs to me now, at least while we see if we’re as compatible as I think we are. His tongue explores my mouth as we fall backwards, crashing through my apartment until we fall onto my bed.

Clothes fly off our bodies in an instant, it’s like a blur I can barely keep up. One moment I’m touching the buttery soft material of his tee shirt and the next his rock-hard muscles. My pulse quickens, the need in my underwear intensifies, the butterflies become giant eagles, flapping wildly in my belly.

“Oh, Avril,” Owen groans as my eager hand wraps around his thick cock. “You have no idea how good that feels.” I move, slowly at first, but gain speed as his moans intensify. “Oh, my God.”

My own breaths fall raggedly out of my mouth as I become desperate for his body. Owen responds by slipping two fingers inside of me and driving me absolutely wild. His skin is smooth, his touch is expert, it’s almost like he knows my body better than I do myself.

“Does that feel good, baby?” he murmurs into my ear, seemingly needing reassurance now that he’s not working with me. It’s nice to have him be vulnerable with me. “Do you like that?”

“Oh fuck, so much,” I gasp right back at him. “It feels fucking incredible. Don’t stop.”

But he doesn’t listen, he instantly removes his fingers, but before I can complain, he’s inside me, thrusting hard and fast, sending me to Heaven. I can feel him everywhere, he’s filling me up, hitting all the right spots, yet I still want more. I need to feel him differently.

“Stop,” I gasp while pushing him off of me. “Not like this.”

Instantly he panics, his entire expression changes to one of sheer horror. “Am I hurting you?” I want to hug him for his concern, it’s so lovely of him to care so much. “Does it not feel good?”

I don’t give him an answer with words, instead I show him what I want by turning onto my front and propping myself up onto my hands and knees so I’m on all fours. Then I peek behind me and I give him a wink, indicating that I want him to take me that way. It’ll be new for us, something we haven’t yet experienced together and I cannot think of a better way for us to celebrate us.

He smiles at me as if I’m the best thing to ever happen to him and he grabs out a condom. It’s pretty unbelievable that not so long ago I hadn’t had any real passion in my life, and now it seems to utterly consume it. My whole existence is all about pleasure and desire, and I freaking love it.

Owen grabs onto my hips and he angles himself inside of me. He eases himself into me, slowly at first as if he fears he might hurt me, so I roll my hips back, pushing myself into him, forcing him to take me harder and faster. The way he’s screwing me now feels good, it’s wild and filled with passion, but because it’s Owen there’s a deeper feeling too, a romance that I think will be there no matter what.

Eventually my head spins and I have to grip tightly onto the bed sheets just to stop myself from crumbling. As the pressure of pleasure builds through my body, I have to really focus to keep myself upright, but it isn’t enough. My arms give way, my face falls into the pillow, but my butt stays up in the air, held there by Owen’s strong hands as he hits the right spot over and over again.

“Oh fuck, Owen,” I scream into the pillows as it all becomes too much.

The way he makes me feel is off the scale, I don’t think I’d find it again if I spent my whole life searching. It isn’t just horny and excitable, it’s safe and cared for too. As the orgasm crashes over me like the waves of a tsunami, I hope desperately that Owen is right and that we can make this work. I don’t know how Ill feel forever, but as mental as it is, after only three days, I think he’s the one for me. If destiny is really a thing, then I think he’s mine. Maybe we were supposed to meet somehow.

I crash onto my back panting breathlessly once we’re both finished and I cling tightly onto his hand. A giant smile spreads across my mouth as I’m absolutely flooded by happiness.

“Are you staying tonight?” I ask while turning onto my side. “No more running away?”

He leans over and kisses me lightly on the lips. It’s only a small, chaste brush of the lips but it feels amazing. Everything he does feels phenomenal to me, especially when the next words come out of his mouth: “Avril, I won’t ever run away from you again.”

This is it, it seems like we’re in it for the long haul!

Epilogue – Owen

Pride fills my chest up completely as I see the credits roll, and the love of my life is the second name to pop up on the screen. This particular movie is of course very special to us since it led to us meeting, without us it might’ve taken a whole lot longer… or maybe it wouldn’t have happened at all.

“Oh, my goodness, babe.” I squeeze her hand gently. “You were incredible in that.”

“I found the sex scenes a bit awkward,” she admits quietly to me. “But the rest was okay.”

“They were filmed over a year ago now, there’s no need to be embarrassed. And you were excellent anyway so I really wouldn’t worry. I’m sure everyone thinks so. You better get used to it anyway because you’ve got two more movies coming out later on in the year.”

“Oh look, there’s your name,” she gushes, avoiding my compliments as always. Even after all this time together she still finds it hard to accept it when I say something nice to her. “Extra thirty six.”

“My proudest moment.” I puff out my chest in a joking manner. “Well, aside from getting good grades in college and landing a job in a top advertising agency, of course.”

Money is no longer an issue, for me or my family. Surprisingly I’ve landed on my feet and now I can help out everyone. I’ve learned my lessons, I watched my father make his mistakes and I saw where it led. That won’t ever be me, I know what I’m doing. I’ll do the same, but smarter. Now that I have my lovely town house, which I share with my wonderful girlfriend, it’s hard to recall a time where I lived in a grotty dorm room, escorting just to survive. I suppose I’m glad I went through all of that because it’s made me who I am today, but I would never ever go back there. Being older and having it all together suits me so much more. Now I’m actually geuninly happy.

“Oh God, Buzz is coming over.” Avril grabs tightly onto my hand. “Stay with me.”

For a while, everyone was obsessed with her and Buzz, wishing they would be a couple. The public would much prefer and up and coming actress to be with another famous person rather than a nobody like me, but I don’t care. It’ll undoutably spark up again now once people see their chemistry on screen, but still that doesn’t matter. I’m secure in what I have, I know it’s real.

“Hi, Buzz,” Avril says through gritted teeth. “How’s it going?”

“Yeah okay,” he replies with a shrug. “That was alright, wasn’t it? We should work together again sometime, maybe on another movie. What do you think?”

I already know that Avril will politely agree, but won’t really do it. The more things she stars in, the pickier she can get with people she works with. Acting with Buzz was too hard for her, that’s why she struggled to find her mojo – well, until I came along anyway – I don’t think she’ll put herself through all of that again. She doesn’t need to anymore, so what’s the point?

“Oh yeah, maybe.” She tugs me closer to her like I’m her barrier. “We’ll see. Erm, I have to go right now, but I’m sure I’ll see you at the after party in a while.”

With that we move away from Buzz, giggling like school kids. This is one of the things I love most about Avril, we can just laugh and be silly with one another. Being in a relationship is fun. Of course, we can deal with all the serious stuff too, but I get to enjoy her.

When we started this over a year ago after three very intense days, I wasn’t sure it could last. I thought we would start to grow weary of one another once we got to know each other better and that the magic would fade. I was willing to throw everything into it, because it felt powerful enough to be worthwhile for however long it lasted, but I didn’t know I would get this lucky.

Now, I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. We have gone from strength to strength since that day. With Avril, even the bad times don’t seem that bad because I go through them with her. Even when we fight it’s like we’re on the same side rather than against one another. It’s us against the world.

“Oh, my goodness, get me out of here!” she squeals at me once we get outside. “This is nuts.” She pulls me in for a kiss, sending sparks all over my body. I still feel that intense connection and chemistry, even now after all this time. “I don’t even know if I want to go to the party.”

I stare into her eyes for a moment, losing myself in them. As I do I recall the first time I saw her and how even then I instinctively knew that she was going to be different somehow.

“Avril,” I say in a pensive tone. “I’ve been wanting to speak to you about something for a while now.” I reach into my pocket and pull out the little box that’s been sitting there for weeks while I wait for the right moment. This isn’t it, it’s nowhere near romantic enough, yet somehow, it’s perfect. Nothing about us has been normal, so why should this be? This is very us.

“Ooh, sounds serious. What is it?”

I drop to one knee and peer up at Avril, which causes her to clap her hand across her mouth in sheer shock. I’m so glad that I’ve managed to keep this a surprise for so long, it hasn’t been easy.

“I want to marry you,” I say with a light chuckle. “I think I might’ve wanted to marry you from the very first moment that I met you. I didn’t know it at the time, but I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you instantly.” I open up the box to reveal the princess cut diamond ring inside. Avril’s eyes bug out with happiness. “So, what do you say? Do you want to make me the happiest man alive and be my wife? If you want me to ask you in a better way, I will, I just want to know if…”

“No,” she shoots me down with tears in her eyes. “I don’t want you to ask me in any other way, this is absolutely perfect. I would love to be your wife. Nothing would make me happier.”

I slide the ring onto her finger and leap up to hug her. As I embrace Avril in my arms, I think about our journey. We’re a couple that shouldn’t have made it, they say instant spark doesn’t lead to everlasting love, but with us it has. With us it always will. We’ve been through enough together to know that much. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, ever!

“I love you,” I gush while kissing over her cheeks. “I always will, so much.”

“I love you too,” she replies, making me as happy as she always does, every single time she says those words. “And I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”