I’m shopping in the mall trying to figure out what to wear tomorrow tonight. The probate money has been released, and I should be doing something like maybe going on a cruise and then thinking of my future. But, I can’t help when I feel that for the first time in forever I feel alive and it’s all thanks to Jason. It’s not just about having sex. Sometimes we go out on the town, not our town in case someone recognizes us, but we’ve been to dinner. Even sightseeing tours on the boat, played adventure golf and even watched a movie in a movie theatre. I giggle as I remember not seeing much of the movie. Especially when we were in the back row. I gave him a BJ in the back seat, and I laughed like a little girl as we left the theatre.

I thought that going out in public; people would think that I was his mom and stare at us. But no one cared, people knew that we were a couple. I would wear hot pants not only so he could gain easy access to my butt, but so I would dressed young. Be in clothes that I was forbidden to wear when I was in my dead marriage.

I feel alive and happy, for the first time in my life. I feel like dancing in the mall, but for now, I’ll settle for just buying too much lingerie and showing him what I think about him.

“Hi, how are you doing today?” the pretty assistant asks as I wander in the lingerie section.

“Good, but I don’t know what to get.”

She winks at me. “Is it a special occasion?”

I nod my head; I must have it written all over my face. It is a special occasion. Daniel said that he’s going out all night and won’t be back until tomorrow. I’m going to cook dinner for Jason. Not something that I’ve cooked before.

“Wedding?”

I laugh as she tries to figure out what the type of special occasion is.

“I’m too old for that.” I smile back at her.

She laughs. “You’re never too old to get married. My mom’s done it five times, and I think that she’s going for the sixth time and you’re probably half her age.”

I want to tell her the truth. That I’ve got a son that’s probably just a little younger than her. But I keep my mouth shut, because by telling her then I’ll spoil the mood and realize that my boyfriend’s around the same age.

“No. I just want it to be a romantic meal. I just want to celebrate the two-month milestone.” “Milestone?”

She quizzes and I wish that she’d find another customer to serve. I’ve told her more than my friend. Then again, I have no choice, because she’s a stranger. When Carla inquires about my young man, I have to brush her off. I can’t talk to her about him. It’s just wrong. That leaves Daniel, and he’s the last person that I’ll talk to about sex or anything of this nature.

This leaves the pretty blonde sales assistant who I’ll never meet again and doesn’t even know my name.

“You know. We’ve been dating for two months.”

She claps her hands. “Arrh, that’s so sweet. Well, let’s go and see what we can get for your two months anniversary.”

She’s so excited, and I feed off her energy as she selects red slips, bras, panties and even a pink number with bows. I smile at her and say, “It’s not just a two-month milestone, but I’m going to tell him that I love him.”

She winks and hands me the pink bra with bows and says, “Forget the bra. Just go with the panties. This way, he’ll be the one telling you how much he loves you.”

I laugh.

She has a dirty mind, I love it, and as I try on all of them, I do something that I’ve never done before. I put on a mini catwalk and get her opinion on all of the things that she picked up for me. Not just the pink things with bows. No one’s seen me naked as an adult until that first time by the pool with Jason. Not even my husband of eighteen years. I remember one time walking past him, naked and thinking that he didn’t even blink. I knew then that I disgusted him. I’d wasted eighteen years trying to please him. I’d spent two minutes doing that to Jason, and it was effortless. He wants me all the time, and I don’t even need to be standing in front of him naked. I don’t even need to try.

“Naomi, run up my card, I’m going to take all of them.”

She screams, “All the pieces?”

I know that she works on commission and to her it’s probably a lot of money that she’s earning as a result of it. To me, it’s just making up for eighteen years in the time that we have left together. I know that it’s a summer fling, but it’s helped me in so many ways, and I don't want it to end. If Jason doesn’t agree, then we’ll say our goodbyes. I could never regret the way that I’m feeling right now.

“All!” I repeat as I stand next to her.

“You have a killer body, Jennifer, and whoever this guy is, he’s a very lucky guy.”

I wink and say, “I know. But I’m a lucky girl too.”

I’ve been brought back to life, and if it weren't for Jason, I never would have known that I was truly dead until two months ago. I was a shell just walking around, and he brought me back to life, and I would love him forever for doing that for me.