I should have run after Victoria.

I should have chased her down and forced her to talk to me. Or just followed her until she was ready to tell me what was going on.

But I didn’t.

I let her go. And, now, I don’t know what’s going on. Is this the end? Is she coming back?

The hug and kiss she gave me before she left sure didn’t feel like the end. It felt like the beginning. It felt like she needed me, but then she just left.

The door to the apartment opens, and I jump off the couch I’ve been sitting on most of the afternoon, waiting for Victoria to come back. All of her stuff is still here, so she must be coming back soon.

“Victoria, I’m sorry,” I say, running to the door.

Logan raises an eyebrow at me as he enters. “Why are you apologizing to my sister?”

I rub the back of my neck. “Because I fucked up.”

Logan walks past me toward the kitchen. He opens the fridge, staring at it.

“Aren’t you going to kill me for hurting your sister?” I ask reluctantly.

He slams the door shut with anger and rage I was expecting. I know he is going to hit me, and I deserve it. I should never have agreed to date Lily while being with Victoria. Even on a pretend basis. I knew it would eventually hurt her.

“No.”

“No?”

He shakes his head. “You might have fucked up, but I’ve always thought you and Victoria were meant for each other. I think you would make each other better.”

I frown. “I hurt her pretty bad. I deserve to be punched or at least thrown out of your apartment or something.”

“You’re probably right. But, lucky for you, I’m not looking for a fight today.”

That’s when I realize that the look on Logan’s face isn’t just rage and anger. It’s fear and sadness. Victoria had a similar look before she left.

“What’s going on? Victoria just upped and left today, and I have no idea where she is going or when she’s coming back.”

“She’s not coming back.”

“Then, where is she? I’ll go to her.”

Logan’s head drops. “Come get a drink with me. I don’t have shit in this apartment. Then, maybe I won’t end up killing you.”

* * *

“So, what did you do to piss off my sister?” Logan asks after the bartender gives us our beers.

“I made a kiss between me and my pretend girlfriend a little too believable.”

Logan laughs. “I really should kick your ass.”

I shrug and take a drink of my beer.

“I would, but I don’t think Victoria is mad at you because of that.”

I raise an eyebrow.

“Okay, I’m sure she isn’t happy that you kissed another woman even though it was needed to pull off her stupid scheme. I just mean that she has a lot more important things going on right now.”

“And that is?”

“Our sister, Amber, is sick. She has depression. But our idiot mother made it worse by giving her some of her prescription pain killers. Amber overdosed.”

“I’m sorry.”

Logan takes another long drink of his beer. “Thanks. I just wish I could do more. I can’t take off work. I’m horrible with kids. Well, beyond the fun play stuff, I don’t know how to actually take care of a kid.”

I remember now that Amber has a daughter. I’ve only met her a couple of times when she was a baby.

“Sailor’s amazing, and Amber is great with her when she’s well. When the depression takes over again, Victoria always comes in and saves the day. She’s lost jobs because of it. Between losing her jobs and getting fired for things out of her control, Victoria has had a hard time with living the life she wants. She usually has to pick up other random jobs just to pay the bills. Her last company made me think it was finally going to make her life work, but then they fired her for no reason. She just can’t catch a break.”

Realization hits me of where I factor in all of this. I didn’t realize what I was doing. I didn’t realize I was hurting Victoria. But, now, my problems with Lily seem small.

“What are Victoria’s plans now?”

“She checked Amber into a place to help her heal. It will take a few months at least. Our mother isn’t much help. So, Victoria will probably stay with Sailor in San Francisco and try to find another job. She’ll survive, just like she always does. I’ll fly there any chance I can get and send any extra money I make to help out, but it’s never really much help.”

“What about her stuff? What about her job?”

“I’ll ship her stuff. And job? I thought she said she quit.”

“She told me to tell Lily that she quit. I didn’t tell her though. I just said she was sick and needed to go home. I told Lily I had some other work things I needed to address and then got out of there as soon as I could to wait for Victoria.”

“You need to tell Lily that Victoria quit. She won’t come back. She won’t pull Sailor out of school or take her away from Amber. She will stay in San Francisco even if she can’t find another PR job. She will do everything that she can to fix our family’s problems.”

I think for a minute, hating that I have to be so far away from Victoria. I don’t know when I will be able to see her again. And I know one thing; I can’t live without her. I love her. I think I’ve always been in love with her. I just thought I couldn’t love her. That she was all wrong for me.

My mind flashes back to my favorite memory of her. We must have been twelve, maybe thirteen.

* * *

“Logan,” I hiss, poking him in the ribs.

His hand swats me. “Go away. I’m sleeping.”

I sigh. It’s not even ten o’clock on a Saturday. There is no way he is sleeping. And I can’t fall asleep.

I get up from the couch in the basement and head upstairs. Maybe his mom made some food. I walk into the kitchen and open the fridge, but there is no food.

I sigh. So much for that plan.

Music? My ears perk up at the sound of music coming from upstairs.

I creep up the stairs as I listen to the music getting louder along with Tori’s voice. I haven’t ever heard her sing before, and maybe she will offer me some level of entertainment.

I walk to her door and listen as she belts out Spice Girls. She’s horrible, but I don’t care. It’s amusing actually, how she can sing so confidently. I guess it’s because she doesn’t think anyone is here.

I throw the door open, planning on embarrassing her. But she doesn’t get embarrassed. Her cheeks don’t flush, and she doesn’t scream in fear.

Instead, she just rolls her eyes at me and keeps on singing into her hairbrush.

I frown. So much for entertainment.

“Sing with me,” she says, tossing me a hairbrush.

“No. It’s stupid, and you’re horrible.”

“So? It’s fun.”

She keeps singing and dancing around the room like a crazy person while I stand, frozen in my spot, with wide eyes.

“You’re crazy.”

“You’re boring.”

She walks over to me until she is standing inches away from me. She lowers her hairbrush and says, “Sing and dance with me, or I’m going to kiss you.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you don’t want me to kiss you. Now, sing and dance with me.”

I frown. “I don’t know the words.”

“Then, make them up.” She grabs my hand and pulls me into the center of her bedroom.

She starts dancing again, and I start flapping my arms around.

She smiles. “See? That isn’t so hard.”

She grabs my hands and spins us around as we dance. As we spin, my world changes. The way she smiles and makes me smile changes everything. Because, for a split second, I wish I had taken the other option. Or at least said both. Because, right now, there is nothing more I want to do than kiss Tori.

* * *

I didn’t let myself love her because I thought there was no way that she’d ever love me in return. Not after all the cruel things I had done to her. What I did just a few weeks ago is the most savage thing I have ever done. She’s going to hate me.

But maybe I’ll have a chance if she’s already in love with me. Maybe I’ll have a chance if I can find a way to fix all the problems I’ve caused.

“What if she doesn’t have to quit?” I ask with a grin.