I stare down at the menu. I haven’t said a word since we left my father’s office. Killian hasn’t either. I think he’s giving me time to process everything. I try to look at the menu to at least make up my mind on what I’m going to eat. Then, I can focus on what just happened.
“What can I get you to drink?” the bubbly waitress asks.
“Um…” I say. I take a deep breath, trying to decide what wine I want. I want wine—no, I need wine to get through this, but I have no idea about wines. I eye a delicious-looking cheeseburger as a waitress passes by with it before placing it on the table next to us.
“We will both have a glass of Chateau Margaux Bordeaux ’61, if you have it. If not, then ’82. We will have the vegetables and hummus appetizer. And we will both have the salmon with asparagus.”
I glare at Killian as the waitress takes our menus away.
“What was that?”
“What?” he asks innocently.
“Why did you order for me? And why did you order the salmon? I’m not a health nut like you. I wanted the burger.”
“Health nut, huh?” He casually leans back in his chair. “I just didn’t want to give you too much to think about right now. I knew you liked the wine, and after the breakfast you had, you need some vegetables and healthy protein to keep you going today.”
I shake my head. “You have no idea what I need.”
The waitress quickly brings the wine, and I’m at least thankful he ordered my favorite wine. I need to write that down, so I know what to order in the future.
I sip as I try to process what just happened, so I’ll know where to start with my questioning. My brain immediately goes to the moment in my father’s office. I literally choked. God, that was so embarrassing. What is surprising though was his reaction. When he saw me, he didn’t seem the least bit surprised. Not even the best actor in the world would have been able to hide some sort of reaction of surprise when he saw me. I’ve studied enough actors’ reactions to know a truthful one from a fake one. His was truthful.
I deepen my glare. “You already knew who I was. Last night, when you sat down at that blackjack table, you already knew who I was.”
“Yes,” he says.
“Why would you do that? Why would you lead me on like that when you already knew? You lied to me! You made me believe I could find someone on my own. Instead, you were prearranged. Did my grandfather put you up to it? Did he want you to seduce me before we met? Did you two think I would be happy then, if I already liked you when I found out it was you?”
My face flushes bright red again, but this time, it’s mostly out of anger and only a little bit from embarrassment. Everyone knew, except for me.
“I didn’t initially go to the casino, seeking you out, last night. I went there for the same reason as you, I’m guessing. I was mourning a man I deeply cared about, and I thought gambling like I used to with him would be the best way to honor that man.”
“Wait, my father went gambling with you?”
“Yes. I worked very closely with your father over the last five years. He was a great mentor to me. When we flew to different cities for meetings, we would gamble at other people’s casinos. It was the best way to learn from the competition. Robert was a great man. I miss him.”
“Don’t,” I say, my voice trembling. “Don’t. You don’t get to miss him. You don’t get to mourn him like I do. He’s not your father.”
The guilt immediately comes back. This man spent time with my father when I didn’t. I should have been there for him when he died. I should have gone to college closer to home, so I could have spent more time with him. Instead, I was happy to get as far away as possible when my family suggested Yale.
“Oh, princess, I could never miss him like you do, but I still miss him.”
I freeze when he says the nickname he has adapted for me…except he didn’t come up with my name. My father did.
“You got it from him.”
His eyes narrow in response, but he has no clue what I’m talking about.
“You got the princess thing from my father. That’s all he ever called me. I’m sure if you hung out so much together, you heard him talk about me in that manner. Don’t call me princess—ever again.”
He looks sad when I say that, but I can’t deal with this. I can’t deal with the fact that he got to spend so much time with my father in his final years while I was away at school and got so little time. My life is not fair.
I feel the tears welling in my eyes, but I don’t let them out. Killian doesn’t deserve any of my tears. He doesn’t deserve to see me mourn a man who was mine, not his.
The waitress places our appetizer in front of us. It looks disgusting. A mush of stuff sits in the middle with raw carrots, cucumbers, and celeries lining the outside. I don’t touch it. Instead, I lift the wine glass back to my lips.
I have so many questions. I don’t even know where to start. So, I just sit and watch as Killian fills a plate with hummus and vegetables. Then, to my surprise, he places the plate in front of me before filling another one.
“Eat,” he says.
My stomach grumbles, so I do, but it’s not because he tells me to. I try the carrot in the mush. It’s not half bad, I realize, as I crunch on the vegetable, but I’m not going to let him know that.
“Ask me,” he says before taking a bite of his food.
“What?”
“Ask me everything.”
“When did you find out?” I ask hesitantly.
“When did I find out that your father wanted me to marry you before he would make me CEO?”
I nod, unable to say any words.
“Three years ago. It was when he promoted me to VP.”
My eyes are wide. He’s known for three years that he is going to marry me. He could have come up to me at any point in those three years and told me. He could have at least introduced himself to me. He could have done anything, but he didn’t.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He runs his hand through his hair, slightly messing it up, but somehow, it looks even better. “I wanted to. I learned a lot about you from your father. I stalked you on social media. I quickly realized that your father was right. You weren’t ready to meet me. You were too young and naive to meet whom you were supposed to marry. You’re still too young.”
“I am not!” I protest.
He smiles a smug smile. “Yes, you are.”
“Then, why did you agree to marry me if I’m so young and naive?”
“I haven’t yet.”
My eyes grow wide at his response.
“What do you mean, you haven’t yet? I thought…”
“I told your father I would think about it, but I’ve never really had any intention of marrying anybody—ever. I’m perfectly content as I am.”
“Then, why are you here? If you are not going to marry me, why are you here?”
He looks smugly past me as he contemplates his answer. “Because I want to be CEO. I’ve earned it. And I’ll marry you, if I have to, to get it, but I think there is another way, a better way.”
His words sting. It stings a lot to hear him say that he doesn’t want to marry me even though I don’t really want to marry him either. It still hurts though to hear a man who I thought at least found me attractive wouldn’t even consider marrying me.
“What was last night then? Why did you almost sleep with me if you didn’t want to marry me?”
He cocks his head and smirks at me. “I can fuck women without marrying them. And, if I recall, we never got around to the fucking.”
I wince every time he says the word fuck. I’m not used to men using language like that around me. Although it usually sounds sexy when falling from his lips, right now, it feels like a punch to the gut.
“Why were you at the casino last night?” I barely whisper.
“Like I said earlier, I didn’t go into that casino, seeking you out. Then, I saw you at that table, and I thought it would be fun to mess with you. After watching you for a while, I found that you were almost a complete contradiction from everything that I had known about you. You seemed confident at that table, sure of yourself. You didn’t seem like the naive young girl I’d thought you were.”
“And now?”
He sighs. “I still think you are a naive young princess.”
I glare at him when he says the last word. “You’re wrong.”
The waitress interrupts us, bringing us plates of salmon with asparagus. I lift my fork and dig in, just needing my hands to do something. Otherwise, I might just do something stupid, like climb over the table and ring Killian’s neck.
“I know that you went to Yale to study theater. Who does that? You don’t go to Yale to study theater. You go to Yale to study business or economics or finance—something useful. It just goes to show that your father paid your way in, and you could only make it as a theater major.”
He pauses to take a bite while I continue shoving my own food in my mouth, trying my best to remain calm and poised, like I’ve been taught to do.
“I know that you modeled for Seventeen magazine along with a slew of other teenage magazines. You’re beautiful, but you don’t have the look to do anything for more mature clientele.”
I take another bite. I feel the tears welling again, but I hold them back. Do not cry.
“I know that you haven’t been on a date in three years. That’s why you needed a release last night. I know that you have never made one goddamn decision by yourself. You want to know how I know that? You texted your father every five fucking minutes, asking him for advice.”
A tear falls, just one single tear.
“I know because you are the reason that this has gotten this far. If you had stood up to your father before he died, you wouldn’t be getting forced into a marriage you didn’t want. And don’t tell me that you do want this. I know what you were running from last night. It’s this. You were running away from being forced into an arranged marriage!”
I wipe the tear from my eye. “Stop!” I say a little too loudly. I notice the stares from the table closest to us, and I try to adjust my voice to not bring any more attention to us. “Well, you were running, too! I don’t have to have studied everything about you for three years to know everything I need to know about you. You’re an arrogant, bossy ass. Everything in your life revolves around work. You don’t date because you don’t have any time to. You just find any woman you can at strange bars to pick up and take home for one night. And, worst of all, you must not be that good at your job if the only way you can get the CEO position you are so desperate for is to marry the previous CEO’s daughter. And the only reason they chose you and not someone more qualified is because you are the only man in an executive position who’s anywhere near my age,” I say, having no idea where those words came from. I’ve never been this outspoken in my entire life.
I stare at my now empty plate that I didn’t even realize I had been eating.
“Feel better now?” he asks calmly.
He stares at me, completely unaffected by my words, which just makes me even angrier.
“Yes,” I spout.
He eyes my plate. “Glad you liked the salmon.”
“I did not,” I say, acting like a defiant child. God, no wonder he thinks I’m like a child. I act like one. “I mean, it was okay.”
His bottom lip twitches in a smile.
“So, what do we do now? What’s your fabulous plan?”
“My plan is for Lee to realize how valuable I am to the company—so valuable that he will want me to be CEO whether or not I marry his granddaughter. I already had Robert convinced. I can convince your grandfather, too.”
“That’s not going to work. They want the company to stay in the family.”
“That’s where you come in. You need to tell him that you are so devastated by your father’s death that you don’t want anything to do with the company. You don’t want it. You’ll marry someone else that your grandfather wants when you are older but not now. And, no matter what, you want nothing to do with the Felton Corporation. All you want is what you already have—plenty of money to live by.”
I stand up and throw my napkin on the table before I storm off. I’m so tired of listening to what other people tell me I should be doing. Killian doesn’t say a word and he doesn’t stop me from leaving the table.
I wander down the hallways of the largest casino and hotel in the Felton empire. It’s the original one, the one that started it all. This one isn’t my favorite though. My favorite, Crystal Waterfalls, is farther down on the strip. It has a river and a waterfall flowing through it. But Felton Grand has its charms, too. It’s flashy and brings the hustle and bustle of the city inside.
It could work. I know it could. I’m already devastated. I could convince Granddad that I’d lose my mind if I had to step foot inside one of the casinos again. But is that what I want? Is that what my father would have wanted for me? Did he really tell Killian he wanted him to run the company without marrying me? Don’t I want at least some small part of the company for myself?
I try to think about what I want, but all I come up with is what I don’t want. I don’t want to marry Killian. At least, I don’t want to be forced into marrying him, especially now that I know he doesn’t want to marry me either.
I just don’t know what I do want. So, instead, I try to think about what my father would have wanted. Did he ever give any indication that he didn’t want me to marry Killian? Did he ever give me any clue of what he did want me to do?
One memory pushes into my head. The memory used to seem so unimportant, but maybe it means more than I know.
“What does my princess want to be when she grows up?”
I think for a minute as I put another block on top of the one my father placed. “A princess!” I shout.
He laughs. “Of course! You already are a princess. And when you’re old enough, I’ll make sure you have a castle and a whole empire to run, if you want it. But what else do you want to be?”
My five-year-old self thinks harder this time. What else do I want to be, other than a princess? “I know! I want to be a CEOOOO, like you, Daddy!”
He smiles and thinks seriously for a second. “If that’s what you want someday, it’s yours. You can be anything you want, no matter what Granddad or I tell you.”
“Yay! I’m going to be a CEEEAAA, like you!” I squeal.
“Shh,” he says. “You have to keep it a secret though.”
I pretend to lock my mouth with a fake key, like I do whenever anybody else tells me a secret. My father laughs again. He’s always laughing at me, and I love to make him laugh.
“For now though, let’s just say you want to be a princess.”
“Princess Kinsley and King Daddy!”
I’ve never thought about that memory—until now. I don’t even know if my father was serious when he said I could be CEO. And I never thought to ask. I never thought I wanted to run a company. I don’t have the talent, the skills, or the schooling. But maybe it’s what I want—to follow in my father’s footsteps. It’s all I’ve ever wanted—to be just like him.
I make my way back to the table and find that my plate has been taken away. In its place is a piece of chocolate cake and ice cream. Confused, I look up at Killian.
He shrugs. “To make up for not getting you that burger you wanted and for telling you what to do. Don’t all girls love chocolate?”
I smile. Killian really does have some good qualities to him when he’s not being a bossy, arrogant ass. I dig in and melt in my seat as the ice cream melts in my mouth. I forget about everything, except for how good this tastes in my mouth.
“So, you’ll agree to the plan then?” Killian asks, seeming slightly nervous for the first time since I’ve met him.
I take one more bite. Chewing slowly, I savor every last drop in my mouth.
“Maybe,” I say on autopilot.
He smiles, thinking he’s won.
“I mean…no,” I say, realizing my screw-up. “I don’t think your plan will work.”
“Then, what do you propose?”
I wince at the word propose. That’s what will happen if I don’t find a way out of this. If my plan fails, it will end with Killian proposing to me. It’s not that I wouldn’t want to look at a handsome man like Killian for all of eternity, but he doesn’t want to look at me in return.
“I propose that you find a new company that will make you CEO because that current position is already taken.”
“By whom?”
“Me.”
He laughs, hard and uncontrollably. And then he laughs some more while I sit in my seat, frowning. When he finally stops, he seriously looks at me. “You can’t be serious?”
“I am.”
“You can’t make a decision to save your life. You can’t even choose what you want to eat in a timely manner. You have no skill set. You don’t have a college degree. The only thing you have going for you is…”
“That I’m beautiful.”
“No.” His eyes meet mine. “I was going to say that you’re family.”
I shake my head. He’s wrong about that one. Granddad doesn’t care that I’m part of the family. He already thinks I will make a terrible candidate for CEO even though the company has been passed down to members of the family for three generations now. He’s only willing to pass it down to my husband. My beauty is the only thing I have going for me.
“Well, this should get interesting. But go ahead and try. This week is going to be amusing.”
“I will.” I stand from the table while digging into my purse to throw some cash on the table.
He grabs my arm again, keeping me from walking out. He pulls me close to him so that he can speak into my ear, but this time, there is nothing sexy about the move. “And when you realize what a mistake you’ve made, call me, and then I can work out a real plan to save you from marrying an arrogant, bossy ass like me,” he says, repeating the names I called him earlier. “Because trust me, princess, nobody wants that.”
“I don’t have…” That’s when I remember I already have his phone number.
“Although you should probably change the name in your phone to arrogant, bossy ass. I kind of like that.” He winks at me.
I pull away from his grasp and run out of the restaurant. He’s right. I don’t want to marry him, not now after that conversation we just had. I wouldn’t marry him if he were my only choice.
I just don’t know which choice to choose. One, marry Killian and be everything my family has always wanted. Two, refuse and be shamed by my family forever. Or, three, convince my grandfather that I can run the company—just like my father, just like my grandfather, and just like my great-grandfather. I’m just not sure which one to choose. The only one I’m sure I don’t want is the first option. I don’t want to marry Killian.