I want to kill Enrico.

That’s the main focus of all my dreams. Finding a way to kill Enrico before he touches me again. I’ve never felt such pain before. And I made a promise to myself with every lash of the whip, every bruise and broken rib that formed from his beatings, and every rip from his cock tearing me wide open that I would do everything I could before letting that happen again.

Even kill myself.

I can’t go through that again.

Not even for Heath and Eden.

I have a new obsession, and right now, it’s finding the most painful way to end their father’s life.

“How are you feeling?” Matteo asks for the millionth time this week, like he always does when he enters the room.

I smile. “Better.”

I am better. I can actually stay awake for hours at a time. I can sit up in bed. My appetite has returned, and the pain is slowly subsiding. I just don’t have much strength left. I can barely walk. I can barely lift a fork to my mouth.

Matteo sits on the edge of the bed as he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. I love the feel of his hand against my cheek. Just like I love when Matteo asks me how I’m feeling. I love how he makes me laugh. I love how he holds me while I sleep to keep my nightmares away. I feel safe with him.

“Good. I brought you more books to read,” Matteo says, setting a large stack of books on the nightstand next to me.

“Thank you,” I say as Matteo stands up from my bed. “Where are you going?”

“I need to shower, and then I’m going to crash. It’s been a long night.”

I study Matteo further and realize that he is a dirty mess. I know, before I spent all my nights in his bed, he spent his nights away doing God knows what for the family business. But last night was the first night he spent away since I joined him in bed. I hated it.

“Crash here,” I say, needing him near me to push away the demons.

His eyes search mine a second—for what, I don’t know. But I let him in and show him how much I need him. I need him to lie next to me, so I can get some sleep. I need to feel his steady heartbeat and the calm inside him that washes over me whenever he’s close.

But I’ve become obsessed with the feel of him against my skin. I can’t sleep without him. If I’m not thinking of revenge against his father, I’m thinking about him. It’s probably stupid. I shouldn’t trust Matteo so easily, not when he is related to such monsters, but I do. He’s the only one I can trust. I need to trust someone if I’m going to survive here.

Matteo stands and kicks off his shoes. Then, he lifts his shirt over his head. I soak in his hard abs and chest, which are almost identical to Arlo’s. His long hair and scar on his face are the main differences between the two. That’s not true. Matteo is caring while Arlo is just as bad as his father.

He slides his pants down until he is standing in just his briefs. I try not to stare. I try not to think about what lies beneath the briefs. But my eyes automatically go there.

His smirk tells me he knows exactly what I’m thinking.

Damn it!

I shouldn’t feel this way, even about Matteo. I’m married.

But I need to make Matteo care enough about me to help me escape. And the only way to do that is to pretend like I care about him, too. Heath will forgive me for whatever happens while I’m here. He already knew my whole story when he married me. He knew this was a possibility. And, while he swore to do everything to protect me, he made me promise to do whatever it took to save myself. He didn’t specify what he meant. Now, I know.

I swallow down the lump in my throat. He’ll forgive me, but will I ever forgive myself?

Matteo walks over to the other side of the bed and pulls the sheets back before climbing into the bed next to me. “What are you thinking about, beautiful?”

I smile weakly as I fidget with the covers. “You.”

Again, Matteo searches my eyes for the truth, and when he finds what he thinks is the truth, he moves closer to me. His hand goes to the base of my neck, and his lips press against mine. He tenderly kisses me, carefully touching me only on the places that aren’t bruised. He draws me into his kiss and makes me forget about everything. I feel the familiar ache deep in my belly, and I pull away for a second, stopping the kiss.

I thought I was in control, but my body continues to disobey me. I’m not supposed to actually feel anything for these men. I’m not supposed to be turned on by Matteo’s kiss. I wasn’t supposed to come when Arlo fucked me.

Matteo kisses me on the forehead, and I melt a little. He’s so sweet and caring to me.

How could I not fall a little for him?

“It’s okay to want me. There is nothing wrong with wanting more than one man,” Matteo says, reading my mind.

“I only want Heath.”

“I know.” But his smirk says otherwise.

I frown. He thinks I want Arlo, too. He couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t want a man who raped me. Ever. No matter how obsessed and attracted to him I was before, there is no way I will ever want him again now.

Matteo pulls me close to him while he softly kisses me everywhere that I’m not bruised. My mind twists with thoughts of Arlo, Matteo, and Heath. I want the nightmares back. It would be better than what my twisted mind is thinking. Instead, I drift off to sleep in Matteo’s arms while I think of two other men.

* * *

My eyes fly open, and I see Arlo standing over my bed. Matteo’s arms wrap around me tighter as he lazily opens his eyes.

“Well, don’t you two look cozy? I didn’t mean to intrude,” Arlo says.

“I bet you didn’t,” I snarl at him.

Arlo raises an eyebrow at me, not expecting my snarkiness. But he hasn’t seen anything yet.

Matteo doesn’t seem the least bit concerned to have his brother standing in his bedroom while he was sleeping with me.

“Relax, brother. I’ve just been taking care of Nina here since you couldn’t deal with the sight of her so broken. Don’t worry; she still cares about you,” Matteo says, casually leaning back on the bed with his arms behind his head.

I give Matteo a dirty look that shows him just how insane I think what he just said is.

“I don’t care about Arlo.” I turn my attention back to Arlo. “I don’t care about you. The tiniest feelings that I had for you before vanished when you raped me.”

Arlo closes his eyes when I say raped me. If I didn’t know him so well, I would just say that he was blinking. It happened so fast. But me saying that he raped me stung him. I don’t understand why, but it did.

I want to talk to him about what happened. Because, clearly, I’m missing something, just like I’m missing everything else.

“You don’t care about Arlo?” Matteo says with a raised eyebrow.

“No.”

Matteo nods. “You’re feeling better, aren’t you, beautiful? Much stronger?”

I nod, not sure where he is going with this.

“Good. Then, I think it’s time you show Arlo here that your feelings have shifted.”

I cock my head to the side as I look at Matteo.

“I’ll give you a choice. Suck me, or suck Arlo.”

I freeze. I knew that, eventually, Matteo would want something sexual from me. He is a man after all and a man who supposedly owns me for the next seven years. But I didn’t think he would be so crass about it. I thought that, someday, we would have sex, but it would be on my terms. Not his.

“No.”

Matteo smiles. “It wasn’t a yes or no question. It was a choice. Just like every other time. Suck me, or suck Arlo.”

“No,” I say again. I will not suck either of these men. Not until I’m ready.

“Choose, beautiful. Arlo needs to see that you don’t care about him anymore. He needs to see that I’m the one you think about when you sleep. He needs to see that you’ve only been here a few weeks, and he’s already lost.”

I turn from Matteo to Arlo and then back. “No. You won’t force me. You won’t hurt me. I won’t do it.”

Matteo nods. “I would never hurt you, beautiful.” He strokes my cheek. “You know that. But Arlo won’t show you the same courtesy. You need to choose. Suck me or him.”

I look back to Arlo, and I see the hardness that was there when he raped me creeping back into his eyes. I don’t have any doubt that he will do it all over again in a second if I don’t obey his brother’s command.

I grab Matteo’s hair and forcefully kiss him, passionately putting everything I can into the kiss. I suck on his tongue. His lips. Everything, letting him know exactly how I want him to think I feel about him.

And then I break away from him. I see his cocky smirk slowly vanish as I get out of the bed. My legs are a little shaky since I’ve barely used them this week. But I stand and walk over to where Arlo is standing at the foot of the bed.

It takes all of my strength to take each step, both physically and mentally, because I want to walk almost anywhere but toward Arlo. But I won’t let him or anyone else break me again.

I stumble on the last step, and Arlo grabs me, keeping me from falling face-first into the ground. I don’t know why he does it. He likes seeing me in pain while on the ground, whimpering in front of him. Maybe it’s the small piece of him that still cares. The small piece that is like his brother.

“Let me go.” I don’t want his help. I’d rather hit the floor.

“You don’t have to do this.”

I nod my head. “Yes, I do.”

I won’t let him punish me for not listening to him.

Arlo carefully lets me go as he tests to make sure that I can stand on my own.

I take my time, and as I slowly kneel in front of Arlo. It might look like a weakness, but it feels more like my strongest moment. Matteo wanted me to suck him. He thought I’d choose him, but I will never choose someone who forces me to do anything. I feel defiant and strong.

Sucking Arlo will do nothing to me. It means nothing to me. I’ve already fucked him. And, if I’m completely honest with myself, he has a good cock that I would love to taste and feel again, if it were my decision. On my terms. And if I didn’t have a husband waiting for me.

This is on my terms, I think.

Arlo didn’t ask for this. I can take something from him, just like he took something from me.

I undo the button on his gray slacks and then push them down over his hips. I grab his briefs and pull them down, too, trying to keep my balance as his cock springs free.

I smirk. It’s already hard.

He wants me.

I turn him on.

That’s power.

I just need to figure out the best way to use my power over the Carini men, and then maybe I’ll find my freedom.

I sway just a little, getting dizzy from being out of bed. I grab his hips for support to keep myself upright. I’m not strong enough to even kneel without having to hold myself up. But I’m not going to let the pain, bruises, or weakness stop me.

I take his cock into my mouth, and I’m rewarded with his groan.

I have the power.

I take him further in as I taste his pre-cum already dripping down my throat. I love the taste. I love the feel of his cock in my throat even though I hate him.

So wrong.

I suck him all the way in until his cock is deep in my throat, and I almost gag from the fullness in my mouth.

Arlo’s hand tangles in my hair, and his eyes roll back in his head.

I run my lips all the way back to his tip and then back to his base. I get into a rhythm, using only my lips and my tongue to suck his hard cock. I feel powerful with each grunt and groan. That I can make him feel this way with just my mouth.

Arlo is not a man who loses control easily, but with my mouth around his dick, he does.

He’s not thinking about what he’s doing. He’s not thinking about how his brother is watching him. Or that I’m nothing more than his slave who is getting him off. I’m not his lover or his friend. I’m a slave who will do anything to get free.

Even play with his mind. I’ll slash his throat in his sleep or shoot him straight in the heart in the daylight. I don’t care, but he’ll be dead along with most of his family by the time I leave here.

I move my lips faster, not letting his pleasure last longer than I want it to. I milk him until his warm cum pours deep into my throat.

When I finally release him, he looks shocked. I took something from him without asking, and it felt good. Even if the thing I took brought him immense pleasure, it was a start.

He lets go of my hair and quickly tucks himself back into his pants. I have to grab on to the floor to keep my balance.

Arlo angrily looks at me. “I just came to tell you that you’re safe. Enrico is out of town for the next month. You can leave Matteo’s room whenever you want. You’ll be safe.”

Arlo turns and leaves without another word.

He doesn’t get to have the last word. Not like that. He doesn’t get to tell me that I’m safe when he’s still lurking in the next room. I won’t be safe until I’m back in Heath’s arms.

He doesn’t get to leave.

I run after him. Not allowing him to just leave.