Nash smoothed the blanket down on the grassy hillside and sat down, pulling me to sit in front of his outstretched legs. The air around us was warm and humid, which was the usual for a Pittsburgh summer. The rivers kept the humidity pretty high. I reclined against the front of Nash’s body, sinking into his warmth and comfort. I tried my hardest to live in the moment, enjoy every second of time I could with him before everything changed.

Tonight, we were sitting on the hill in Schenley Park watching a movie. They had a giant white screen that they projected movies onto. It was free to get in which made it popular. All you had to bring was yourself and maybe something to sit on. Nash had brought us drinks and a few snacks, as well as the blanket. They were playing a super hero movie. I didn’t really care what the movie was, I just wanted the time to be close to Nash.

Our friends had taken the news that we were together extremely well. I think they’d been waiting anxiously for both of us to pull our heads out of our asses and realize what everyone else around us already knew: we were crazy about each other. As we’d expected, they thought we were crazy for waiting until the last minute to come to our senses, but it was better late than never.

After he’d spent time going over details at the venue, he’d picked me up, so we could spend the evening together.

Two days, two days, two days was a constant chant in my head. We tried to pretend like time wasn’t breathing down our necks, but sometimes the knowledge was too oppressive to ignore.

“Comfortable?” Nash whispered against my neck, causing a shiver to run along my spine. I nodded and snuggled closer to him. “Good.”

I looked up at him, taking in his eyes in the fading light. “Are you?”

“As long as you’re here, I’m perfectly happy.” He smiled. I couldn’t fight a laugh with how gloriously cheesy yet absolutely perfect his words were. “What? I’m being serious.”

I leaned up and kissed his jaw. “I know, which is why it’s so funny. I never envisioned you’d be so sweet.”

“Only for you, Bee.” He traced a finger down the side of my face and chills sparked throughout my body. I loved the way he touched me, like I was precious and delicate.

“Have you seen this movie before?”

“Yeah, a couple times. I like it.”

“We didn’t have to come if you’d already seen it. I just thought it’d be fun.” Really, I’d harbored my own thoughts that it’d be romantic. Sitting out in the grass, under the stars, watching a movie. It was the kind of small moment that lived on in your memory long after it was over. Not because it was grand or special, but because of the pure happiness you felt in it. Because, for one small block of time, the world felt perfect and consisted of only you and someone you cared about deeply.

“I wanted to come. I’m glad we’re here. All that matters is we’re together, right?”

The movie started, and I sat back against him, loving the feel of his body supporting mine. I was sucked into the movie until I felt Nash’s thumb graze along my side, going under my shirt until he could stroke my skin. I tried to focus on the movie, but I couldn’t. I followed every movement of his hand. I peeked up at him, trying to see if I could figure out what he was thinking, but he seemed thoroughly into the movie, not even noticing the way he touched me. I hated it at the same time I loved it. It wasn’t fair that he could affect me with such small movements and seem so unaffected himself.

I shifted against him and his fingers went away, instead grabbing my hand and holding it. I closed my eyes, wanting to live in the here and now. I wouldn’t have these moments for much longer, at least not until he got back from tour.

When the movie ended, we sat there as everyone packed up and left. Getting out of here would be a nightmare of a traffic jam. Neither of us were in a hurry to end the night anyway.

Nash laid down, taking me with him. We laid side by side, facing each other. “Did you like it?” His hand moved up my arm until it cradled my chin.

“Yeah. It was fun.”

“I’m glad.” His eyes flicked between mine and my lips. “I had fun with you tonight.”

“Me too.”

His hand moved a little, so he could brush his thumb across my lips. “I’m really going to miss you when I’m gone,” he said. I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or to himself. The words were hushed as his eyes traced the movement of his thumb. I closed my eyes against the hurt because it hurt that he was leaving. I felt the ache spreading through my bones already. “I’m going to miss holding you and being with you and kissing you.” He brushed his lips against mine, holding them there for a second. There wasn’t any urgency in his kiss, it was more like he was making a connection between us, proving to himself that I was still here.

“I’m going to miss you too. More than I think I ever realized.”

“Tell me not to go,” he said, his voice coming out in a rush as his lips were still brushing against mine. I jolted away from him in shock before sitting up.

“What?” I blurted out, almost yelling.

He sat up and moved a little closer to me, until our legs were pressed firmly together. He took my hands in his as though he was praying. “Tell me not to go, Bianca. I’ll stay. All you have to do is tell me to stay and I will.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Please. I don’t think I’m strong enough to leave you. It makes me physically sick to think of all the moments like this I’ll miss.” His eyes grew wide like he was fighting off tears. “I’ll miss homecoming and we could go together this year. There wouldn’t be anyone between us, just you and me. I could hold you all night, dance with you, kiss you.”

“This tour is too big of a chance for you to miss, Nash,” I said, my voice wary. It was tempting, asking him to stay behind for me. I could so easily tell him to stay and nothing would have to change, but it would. I knew he’d regret it in the long run. Music had been his passion for as long as I’d known him, and I couldn’t be the reason he gave up such an amazing opportunity. It was once in a lifetime and he had to take it. “What about Felix? Don’t you think it’d crush him if you backed out now?”

Nash shrugged. “He’d get over it. I don’t want to leave you.” His voice cracked, and he held my hands tighter. “I’m afraid of what’ll happen if I leave. What if you move on?”

I fought back a laugh. “Move on? You’ve been it for me for as long as I can remember. You were my first crush, Nash. I’m not leaving you until you pry my cold, dead hands off you.” I smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

“Six months is a long time and we both know how much things can change in just a few months.” I knew what he was talking about. Stacy. I hated that she sometimes hung in the air around us. “And we only just got together. It feels wrong to leave you.”

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’ll be here waiting with open arms when you get back.” I cradled his cheek in my palm and he pressed deeper into my touch, his eyes closing. I hated pushing him to do this because I wanted to tell him to stay. It would be so easy to be selfish, but it would hurt more in the long run. It would hurt Nash, Felix, and, eventually, me.

“I wish I had told you how I felt long before now, so we’d have more than a few stolen weeks before everything changes. I wish I’d taken you in my arms the first time I thought about kissing you and made it official then. I was too much of a chicken shit to do anything, I was so afraid to break us.”

“You can’t rewrite history. What happened, happened. I’m just glad we’re here now.” I crawled closer to him until I was in his lap, enveloping him in my arms. I knew he was hurting and I wanted it to stop.

“You know I care about you, right?” he whispered into my hair.

“I do.” I kissed his cheek before taking his face in my hands. Sometimes it was hard to believe that he felt this way about me. I struggled with insecurity that I wasn’t enough, that I’d never be enough. Sometimes when he didn’t answer a text as quickly as usual or I saw him talking to another girl in the hall, self-doubt strangled me. I tried to keep these thoughts at bay, but it was hard. If you weren’t enough for the people who gave you life, it was really hard to believe you’d ever be enough for anyone else.

“It’s okay, Bee,” he whispered. Somehow, he knew I was struggling in this moment. He swallowed and pressed his lips together, like he was gathering strength. “I love you. I really, really do. I know we haven’t been together very long, but I’ve loved you for a long time.”

My heart squeezed painfully in my chest and it was hard to breathe for a second. I blinked rapidly, trying to digest his words. This moment felt too precious to leave anything left unsaid, because things could change at any moment. He was leaving soon, and I wouldn’t see him for a long time. I needed to make sure I put everything out there. “I love you, Nash.”

He tackled me to the ground, kissing me with everything in his body. He pressed himself into me and I couldn’t keep up with the movement of his lips and his hands. He’d kiss my lips furiously, then kiss across my face and down to my jaw before coming back to my lips. It was like he wanted to taste me, to sample and feel the flavor of my love. I let him take what he needed, all the kisses and tastes he could possibly want because I was taking what I needed from him.

I needed to feel him, here in this moment. I wanted his weight and his need and his heat.

All too soon, he pulled his lips from mine and groaned. “Was it supposed to be easier for me? To leave once I knew you loved me?”

“No. Because you’re leaving. You have to go, Nash. Too many people are relying on you. You’re relying on you. You know you’ll regret it if you stay here.”

“I’ll regret missing this even more,” he quipped, leaning down and kissing me.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m delightfully boring.”

“Whoever said that seriously needs kicked in the balls.” He lowered down on top of me until our lips were brushing together with each word. I wondered if he needed the connection as much as I did.

“I believe it was you who said it.” I smiled at him.

“I would never say anything so unbelievably false. I find you intoxicating to be around and nothing short of a riot.” He tried hard to suppress a grin. I felt his serious and somber mood washing away like the tide.

I pushed against him and he sat up. “Why are you so ridiculous?”

“Would you really want me any other way?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never had you another way.” I stuck my tongue out at him. He scooped me up in his arms and kissed my cheek.

A moment that had seemed insignificant had blossomed into a moment I’d never forget. It was the moment I knew I had Nash’s heart and he had mine. We felt invisible and indestructible. I felt like we could conquer anything as long as we had each other. Distance and time wouldn’t change what we had because we’d had it, in one form or another, for as long as I could remember.

We walked down the hill to Nash’s car, hand in hand, both of us smiling wildly and stealing kisses every few feet.

Ping.

When it came again, I climbed out of bed and looked out the window, seeing Nash standing in my front yard. I stumbled over my own feet as I rushed down to the front door, throwing it open and myself into his arms. I had only seen him a few hours before when he’d dropped me off after the movie, but it felt like too long.

“I know it’s late, but I needed to see you.” He ran a hand through his hair, seeming upset. “I laid in bed, tossing and turning. It feels like a waste of time to be anywhere but with you right now.”

“I’m so glad you’re here,” I whispered. I leaned up and kissed him. I held the back of his head to me, not giving him the option to pull away. I didn’t want him to pull away. I wanted to be absorbed into his skin, so he could take me with him. I grabbed his hand and led him inside, closing and locking the door behind him. I pulled him behind me, up the stairs and into my bedroom. My door shut with a faint click. The world was silent and still and it was just the two of us. There wasn’t any practice to get to or parents to pop in. There weren’t friends that needed attention or obligations. “I just want to lay with you a while.” He nodded and toed his shoes off. He climbed onto my bed and I followed him. I curved my body around him, my head resting against him. His fingers played in my hair and he sighed.

“What am I going to do when you’re not so close? When I can’t just stop in and see you like this?” His voice was low and quiet. I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to hear him or not.

“You’ll be busy, living the life you’ve always wanted.”

“What if I want you, Bee? What if this is enough?”

I leaned up on an elbow, cradled his face in my hand. “It’s not enough. You’re destined for greater things, Nash James. You’ve always been destined for more.” I kissed him. It wasn’t hungry and devouring the way our kisses so often ended up, it was more of a comfort, an I’m here kind of kiss.

“You’re my greater thing,” he mumbled against my lips.

And then we were lost in a tangle of limbs and clothes and hands and tongues. I touched him everywhere I possibly could. My lips and tongue tasted the warm flesh along his neck. I wanted to memorize the way his skin tasted and how his body felt against mine. I wanted to be able to lie in bed and put my fingers to my lips and feel him against them.

Nash’s hands skimmed over clothing before pulling them off. His hands stroked over my bare skin, then danced through my hair. There was no rush, no immediacy. There was only the here and now, him and me, us.

“I never want to leave you,” he said as his tongue traced delicious patterns across my belly. I felt every lick of his tongue on every nerve ending in my body. His fingers hadn’t gone too far, mostly to my shoulders and my stomach, but it felt indecent in so many ways. I was lying naked next to Nash. He was down to his boxer briefs. His skin pressed against my skin and the friction was heaven. My body felt tight and hot and empty. I wanted him to keep touching me, kissing me, tasting me.

It felt like we were hitting fast forward on our relationship, skipping over dates and milestones, but it was necessary. It felt necessary. We’d wasted so much time already and we didn’t have a second to spare. I wanted everything with Nash, every first, and it had to be now. Who knew what the future held, but there was now. This minute held Nash. And I was going to take advantage of everything he was willing to give me.

My hands wove through his hair. “You’re not leaving me. You’ll always be here, even when you’re not. You’re part of my heart, my soul, my very being.”

He seemed to like that answer because he growled softly in the back of his throat and pulled me closer. His fingers traced the curve of my side to the swell of my hip. Goose bumps rushed across my skin and I panted. I wanted more. I wanted him to touch the part of me that felt empty and aching. He ran his palm flat against my right breast and my back arched off the bed. He’d touched me there before, but not like this. Not in such a commanding way. When his head dipped down to join his hands, my body turned electric. The aching need I felt grew painful. He chuckled against my skin and I closed my eyes. Every movement, every caress felt larger than life.

“Impatient, Bee?” he teased before running his tongue across my nipple again. My hands fisted in his hair. I couldn’t even answer. Every cell of my body was focused on his tongue as it moved lower, across my belly. Then he was nuzzling my hip and, oh, God, his fingers dipped even lower, touching the part of me that had been dying for attention. He watched my face as his fingers stroked and toyed with me. My hips jerked against his hand. I couldn’t control any part of me. I grabbed at him, both trying to pull him closer and push him away. He crawled down lower until his lips and tongue brushed where his fingers had been. A strangled yelp passed through my lips.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

I’d never felt this before, I’d never experienced this before. His fingers were inside me, his tongue circling around me. My feet dug into my bed as I pushed myself into his face. My legs clamped around his head. I unwound against him, riding the pulses and electricity that had ignited in my blood. I swear, my vision turned black for a few seconds as I struggled to catch my breath. He crawled up and laid next to me, clearly still aroused. I drifted in the sea of my feelings for a bit before turning to him. I kissed the corner of his mouth, too shy to full on kiss him. There was something so intimate about the thought of tasting myself on him.

“Nash.” I reached for him, touching him. He hissed out a breath, and his own body bowed off the bed. I smiled, liking that I could make him feel good, especially after he’d made me feel so amazing. I continued stroking and teasing him before my own clumsy, fumbling hands brought Nash to the same edge and he dove off, his face something of pure beauty. Everything that had led to this moment was worth it for this quick glimpse at his face. It was like all the stress, the worry, drained from his body as he sagged against me, panting.

Before long, he fell asleep, his body heavy. His head was on my chest, his arm draped around my waist, his leg covering mine. I traced my fingers along his spine, reveling in the moment, in the way he felt against me and with me. For a few brief moments, it was like the clock was no longer ticking rapidly. It’d paused, just for a few fleeting minutes, and let us have this. This experience of togetherness and rightness and tenderness. I kissed the top of his head, taking in the scent of Nash. I reached for my phone and set the alarm for before my parents woke up, so they wouldn’t catch him here, and I fell asleep. My entire world in my arms.

I woke with a start and reached my hand across the bed. The blankets were cold where Nash’s body had been heating them, my skin covered in goose bumps from the chilly air, my body hollow where it missed him. I silently got up and put my pajamas back on before climbing back into bed, burying myself in the blankets.

I missed him already.