Macie

 

Macie drove as quickly as she could to Jessica’s apartment complex, taking the back roads where the cops didn’t hang out so she could speed without worrying about anything. The cops usually stayed pretty quiet in the center of town, but over near the Gorge they had a little bit more spine than they usually would. If Macie got a ticket, she’d never hear the end of it from Arnold, who was working hard to save up so they could get married and start a family soon.

 

She finally parked across the street from Jessica’s apartment and rushed over, pounding on the door until it opened. “Okay, first of all, honey, don’t just send text messages saying ‘emergency 911,’ okay, you just about gave me a heart attack—” Macie cut herself off, realizing that it wasn’t Jessica that opened the door. Instead, it was a tall, broad-shouldered man dressed all in black, staring at her blankly. “Oh. Hello. I don’t know you. I’m Macie.”

 

“Pax,” the guy said tersely before stepping aside to let Macie into the apartment. Macie felt very awkward, like she’d broken into a stranger’s place instead of visiting her best friend, but then the next second Jessica appeared, holding out a beer bottle for Macie to take.

 

“Here, drink this,” Jessica said, gesturing for Macie to follow her over to the couch against the wall. “Believe me, you’re going to need it.”

 

“Oh, Jesus, here we go,” Macie said, settling down on the couch and staring expectantly at her best friend, even though through the corner of her eye she was still trying to catch a glimpse of the man who answered the door. So, this was Pax, the guy Jessica was screwing nowadays. The guy Arnold kept pushing Macie to talk about, clearly trying to get information on behalf of Gary. Jesus, how did things get so complicated?

 

“Gary showed up at the Gorge today, with five or six guys from the MC,” Jessica said before sipping at her drink, cringing a little at the taste.

 

Macie rolled her eyes. “Fuck, already? What’s he playing at?”

 

“Clearly trying to get control of the place before anybody else steps up,” Jessica said.

 

Pax spoke up, even though he remained standing against the wall opposite the couch. “He just showed up, in broad daylight? Really?”

 

“Yep,” Jessica said. “Completely unafraid of any of the bouncers there or anything. Threatened Tom without threatening him directly, if you know what I mean. He just told him that they should get in business together if Tom knows what’s good for him, basically.”

 

Macie sighed loudly and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like Gary. So, what’s your boss going to do?”

 

“I have no idea,” Jessica said. “He seems scared as hell, though. Gary kept talking about the other MCs in the area, acting like they’re all about to swarm on the Gorge like locusts.”

 

“Aren’t they?” Pax asked. “You guys in this town act like the MCs are everything. So, what, is it all just talk?”

 

Macie felt herself bristle a little bit. As much as Gary annoyed her, Macie had grown up around the Nightwalkers. They were her family, and at the very least, after everything they’d done to protect this town from other clubs in the area, they deserved a little bit of respect. “It’s not just talk,” Macie said, trying to keep any defensiveness she felt out of her voice, if only out of respect for Jessica. “Look, the other MCs are weaker. They always have been, at least for the past few years. But that doesn’t mean Gary isn’t scared. He’s always trying to make the club bigger and stronger than it was yesterday, you know what I mean? And I’m sure he didn’t just show up today to see you, Jessica. He means business.”

 

“Has he been gathering the troops at Sully’s?” Jessica asked, her eyes wide and scared. “Do you think he’s going to, like, storm the Gorge and try to take it over?”

 

Macie hesitated before answering. She felt like she was being torn in two directions at once. On one hand, Jessica was her best friend, and she needed her help. But on the other, Macie wasn’t sure how much she should divulge. Being in the inner circle of the Nightwalkers was no joke. They took loyalty very seriously. And besides, it was more than a matter of principle. Arnold was deeply invested in the success of the MC. He couldn’t even walk away from it if he wanted to, but he was as devoted to Gary as anyone else in the club. Macie felt a little sick to her stomach, thinking that she might be plotting against her boyfriend and his best friend.

 

But still, for now, at least, she could afford to tell the truth. “No, I haven’t noticed anything out of the ordinary. I think Gary is keeping it small right now. If he wanted to take the bar over that way, he probably would have done so already. More likely he wants the owner to hand the keys over to him himself. That way it’d be peaceful and there wouldn’t be as much bad blood in the community.”

 

Jessica nodded slowly before cupping her head in her hands, shutting her eyes tightly like she was trying to get her thoughts under control. “I don’t know what to do.”

 

Macie wasn’t sure what to say to comfort her friend, but then Pax broke his silence. “I’ll switch my shifts around to match yours. I’m sure Tom will let me.”

 

Jessica bit down on her bottom lip. “I’m not sure if that will do any good. Gary and his boys could come riding through at any time. You can’t be at the bar 24/7.”

 

“Don’t need to be,” Pax said confidently. “From what you’ve told me about this guy, there’s no way he’s not going to wait until you’re there to do his big move. It’s too personal for him. He’ll want you there to see his big triumph.”

 

Macie smiled despite herself. The guy was smarter than he looked. “He’s right, you know. Gary’s got a huge ego. He won’t be satisfied unless he feels like he really proved something to you. He wants to punish you for moving on. He’s not going to storm in there on a day when you aren’t working.”

 

“How does he even know my work schedule, though?” Jessica wondered out loud.

 

Macie felt her body go tense. She didn’t know if she should give voice to her suspicions that Arnold was tailing Jessica. Would she be betraying Arnold if she said that to Jessica and Pax? Or was she already betraying Jessica by not telling her right away? Macie felt like she was stuck in an impossible dilemma. There was no way to protect everybody and honor all of their wishes at the same time.

 

For now, she just shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s probably got someone watching you to monitor when you come home at night or something like that. Maybe you should keep your lights on all the time so they get thrown off.”

 

Jessica shook her head. “I can’t afford that.”

 

“Fair enough,” Macie said, sighing deeply as she finished her beer and then got to her feet. “I’ve got to be heading back. Arnold might wonder where I am if I don’t show up at home or stop by Sully’s sooner or later. The worst thing right now is to alert Gary that he’s scared you. That’s what he wants. Don’t give him the satisfaction.” Macie bent over to press a kiss on top of her best friend’s head before heading out into the cold again, nodding at Pax before whispering on her way out, “Take care of her.”

 

When she got home, Arnold was already there, waiting for her with dinner ready. That was odd. Usually Arnold was out at Sully’s or somewhere else, doing club business until the wee hours of the morning at the very least.

 

“How was your day?” Arnold asked before sliding a plate piled high with mashed potatoes and fried chicken in Macie’s direction.

 

“Boring,” Macie said. It was a lie, but she figured it was innocuous enough not to hurt him. “How was yours?”

 

Arnold shrugged a little and began digging into his meal. “Gary’s stressed, you know, which means we all suffer. I’m glad you’re staying out of it, though.”

 

Macie felt all of the nerve endings on the back of her neck stand up in alarm at his words, her eyes bearing hard into Arnold’s face as he ate, searching for any hidden meaning that could be lurking behind his casual statement.

 

Maybe he knows I’m not staying out of it, Macie thought as she slowly began to eat. Maybe he doesn’t know, but he suspects that I’m helping Jessica, giving her advice against the MC. Maybe he knows I know about Pax. Maybe he knows everything.

 

Her stomach churned, the food that she swallowed rolling around painfully inside of her like it was trying to escape. She hated lying to Arnold, or even just being a little bit deceptive. She’d never felt this amount of uncertainty in their relationship before, and it wasn’t even about them. Fucking Gary, getting in the way, ruining everything he touched. Macie burned with anger, feeling it burn her insides even though she was just sitting still and cutting into her chicken. She wished she could just reach across the table, grab Arnold’s hand, and spill everything to him. She wanted him to help her, to help Jessica, to help all of them out of this ridiculous situation. It didn’t have to be this way, but every time she opened her mouth, tempted to let the words fall out, Jessica’s worried face flashed in Macie’s mind, preventing her from speaking the truth. Her friend needed her silence, more than Arnold needed the truth right now. Jessica had to come first, at least for the moment.

 

“Did you talk to Jessica today?” Arnold asked after another minute of weird, uncomfortable silence between them.

 

“Yes,” Macie said reflexively, too concerned that a direct lie would be obvious to Arnold’s well-trained ears. “Yeah, I chatted with her a little bit after she got off work.”

 

“How’s she doing?” Arnold asked. For a moment, staring across at Arnold’s normal, relaxed expression, she berated herself internally for thinking that he was trying to spy on Jessica or interfere in her friendship. He was such a good guy, even with all of the MC business that he was involved in. Macie’s insides felt like they were being consumed by guilt, eating themselves alive as a result of the dual pressure of her devotion to both Jessica and Arnold.

 

“She’s a little stressed out, too,” Macie said, again opting to give a version of the truth rather than lying outright. “You know, she’s got that new job and everything. It can be tough, making a new life for yourself.”

 

Arnold nodded and smiled sympathetically. “That makes sense. Well, we all miss her, you know. Not just Gary. She was a good person to have around. You should invite her to come back to Sully’s for a drink sometime when she gets some time off. Lots of people would love to see her.”

 

Macie paused, her fork freezing in midair as she considered Arnold’s words, watching him as he hurriedly shoved more and more food into his mouth. It was like he was trying to give himself an excuse not to talk, and Macie couldn’t help but notice a little wrinkle pop up in between Arnold’s eyebrows. It always showed up when he was under stress or worried about something, or even when he felt guilty. She wondered what was going on now to make it appear, but she felt like she already knew what the answer was.

 

“I’ll ask her,” she said casually, taking a big drink of water to wash down the food that she’d just swallowed. “But I think she wants to keep her space from the MC for a while. You understand.”

 

Arnold stopped chewing, staring hard at Macie for a long moment, making her feel like her skin was crawling, trying to climb its way off her body and escape his penetrating gaze. Macie was just about to ask him what the hell was going on when he spoke up again. “I’m not sure I do understand…” he said before taking another bite of mashed potatoes and asparagus.

 

“Well, she just went through a bad break-up, honey,” Macie said a little defensively, worried that Arnold was about to accuse her of lying to him about Jessica. God, she hated this so much, dancing around her words with her own goddamn boyfriend. “Look at it this way, if we broke up tomorrow, even if you dumped me, would you really want to see my face every day, constantly being reminded of me and everything that went wrong between us?”

 

“I guess that makes sense,” Arnold said, but his eyebrows remained furrowed. “I don’t know, though. I guess I just think it’s such a shame that you two don’t get to hang out all the time anymore. I mean, you’ve barely seen her since last month, right?”

 

Macie hesitated, unsure of how to answer the question without completely, directly lying to her boyfriend. “Here and there,” she finally said, taking another big gulp of water to cover up the fact that her face flushed as a consequence of her almost-lie.

 

“Well, just let me know how she’s doing,” Arnold said. “I worry about her.”

 

Yeah, I bet you fucking do, Macie thought, feeling anger replace her guilt and fear. If she had any doubts that Arnold was keeping tabs on Jessica, they went out the window now. It was clear that he was pumping her for information, trying to get into Jessica’s headspace in any way he could. Macie felt immediately protective over Jessica, but at the same time she was offended that Arnold didn’t just ask her for her help directly. They were supposed to trust each other, right? They were supposed to be each other’s number ones. What was going on in the MC that made Arnold so secretive, so afraid to talk to her? All Macie knew was that somehow, it had to be Gary’s fault.

 

But at the same time, as she and Arnold cleaned up the plates and headed off to bed, Macie couldn’t help but think that Arnold must have been getting ever closer to Gary, maybe even becoming his number-one man. What was good for Arnold was good for Macie, too, right? She was practically a Nightwalker herself, after all, despite the club’s rules excluding women from official membership.

 

Maybe she should have been happy that Arnold was climbing up the ranks, elevating both of their statuses.

 

But somehow, she couldn’t help but say a silent prayer for Jessica before she fell asleep. Keep her safe, she whispered inside her mind. Protect her. Guide her to where she needs to go.

 

Macie didn’t know if she could do those things for Jessica anymore. Maybe someone else would have to step in.