Chapter 10

Holly

I sighed as I dropped the spaghetti noodles into the pot of boiling water. I stirred it to make sure all the noodles were submerged and then lifted the lid on the other pot that held the sauce. The whole kitchen was filled with the rich smell of tomatoes and meat. I gave it a quick stir and covered it to let it simmer longer.

My attention was only partially held by cooking. Every second thought was of Jax and our date. To be more specific, every second thought was of our steamy make-out session at the end of our date. My whole shift at The Roost yesterday had been spent thinking of Jax and resenting it because I had to work with wet panties and an ache below my belly that just wouldn’t go away.

My coworkers noticed how distracted I was. Claire made a point to warn me that Talon had noticed, too, and was keeping a sharp eye on me for the rest of my shift. This only made me more tense, and I had shot him dirty looks every time I caught him staring at me.

Resenting Talon had worked to keep my mind off Jax for a time, but eventually, the memory of our kiss came rushing back, and I let it wash over me.

Now, I was trying to bury the thoughts in cooking and cleaning. Kimberly was on her way home from a work conference, and I wanted to treat her to a nice home-cooked meal. Spaghetti was also Luke’s favorite, and preparing it was taking away some of the guilt I felt at not being able to spend as much time with him as we were used to.

Kim came home ten minutes before seven. I heard her drop all of her things in a huff at the front door, and then her high heels were clicking on the hardwood as she made her way into the apartment.

She paused in the archway to the kitchen and leaned her shoulder on the frame. “It smells so good in here. What are you making?”

“Spaghetti.”

“Yum. I haven’t had pasta in ages. Where’s Luke?”

“Playing Nintendo in his room. We were making crafts earlier.” I nodded to a cluster of magnets on Kim’s fridge. They were made of glued together Popsicle sticks and were painted in obnoxious green, yellow, and blue. “Sorry.”

Kim laughed. “Don’t be sorry. It adds a pop of color to an otherwise dreary kitchen.”

“Your kitchen isn’t dreary.”

“Okay fine. Sparse. I’m not much of a cook.”

“Well, I am, and tonight we’re having a feast. Garlic bread is in the oven, and I’m going to throw together a Caesar salad too.”

Kim rubbed her tummy. “Wonderful. I’m famished.” She strode to the kitchen island and took a seat at one of the stools. Then, she shrugged out of her tapered blazer, kicked off her heels, and undid the top buttons at the collar of her blouse. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in days. Tell me. How did it go with Jax the other night?”

I put my back to her and smiled down at the pot of spaghetti sauce as I stirred it mindlessly. “It was … wonderful, actually.”

“Wonderful, huh?”

“Yeah. I know that sounds so cheesy, but it’s true. It was so nice to sit with him. It was the same as it always was. We laughed like a couple of idiots, and he made me open up about a few things.”

“He was always able to do that, somehow. I used to resent him for it.”

I stopped stirring and looked over my shoulder at my older sister. “Really?”

She half nodded and half shrugged. “Well, yeah. I’m your sister. I wanted to be the one you came to. But hey, I’m not complaining. Jax is a good guy, and he always took good care of you.”

“He did, didn’t he?”

Kim chuckled and rested her elbows on the counter. “Was there any, you know, funny business?”

I blushed and turned back to the pot.

“Oh my god, there was! What did the two of you do? Please tell me you fu—”

“Shh!” I spun around, holding a finger vertically across my lips. “I don’t want Luke to hear us. And no, I didn’t sleep with him. But, I have to confess, I really, really wanted to.”

“Tell me everything.” Kim cupped her chin in her hands and looked at me the way Luke looked at me on his birthday as he anticipated his present.

Unable to stop myself from smiling, I told her all about my time with Jax. I gave her the details of what he was wearing, what we talked about, and how good he smelled.

“He refused to let me take the bus. It was so strange to me. Kent was always fine with me taking public transit, but Jax seemed genuinely offended that I would even consider it.”

“Well, for a biker, he’s a gentleman.”

“Right? Anyway, he drove me home and dropped me off here. I had a few too many to drink so he walked me to the front door. I think he just wanted an excuse to follow me in. I couldn’t find my stupid keys in my purse, and as I was searching for them, he suddenly just sweeps me up and starts kissing me.”

“Ugh, I hate you,” Kim whined, covering her eyes with her hands. She dragged her fingers down her cheeks in exasperation. “I want a man to do that to me.”

“I’m not done. I was a little surprised at first, but then his hands were all over me and in my hair and—”

“I’m melting,” Kim fake-sobbed.

“I almost lost it, Kim. Seriously. I forgot all about Luke and you being home. It took everything I had to break away from him and tell him I had to go. His face … he didn’t get it. I felt bad.”

“Wait. Hang on.” Kim straightened in her chair. “Did you not tell him about Luke?”

“Erm. No.”

“Holly! What the hell?” She leaned forward, lowering her voice so Luke couldn’t overhear her. “Jax deserves to know.”

“I know.” I bit my bottom lip as guilt gnawed at my insides. “I just didn’t want to spoil anything. I was having such a good time. Kim, it’s been such a long time since I felt like that. I was me again.”

Kim sighed. “You should see him again.”

“I want to. God, do I want to. But I don’t think it’s a good idea. He’s involved with the MC. I think he’s in deeper than he ever used to be. And I have Luke to worry about. I don’t want to mix the two worlds.”

Kim shook her head and waved her hand like my concerns were nothing. “Don’t be silly. Jax might be part of the MC, but he’s not some cold-hearted, cutthroat criminal. You know him. He’d never do anything to hurt you or Luke or anyone who didn’t deserve it. None of the MC are bad guys. They just make their living in a kind of unconventional way.”

“Unconventional? That’s what you’re going to go with?”

“Yup.”

I checked the tenderness of the spaghetti noodles and began searching for Kim’s strainer. She pointed it out, and I drained the noodles before checking on the garlic bread in the oven. I pulled it out to cool and began throwing together the salad.

All the while, Kim’s eyes were burning holes in my back.

“So,” she said after I had sprinkled the salad with parmesan and croutons “Are you going to call him or what?”

“I want to think about it.”

“Oh, come off it. All you ever do is think about it. Jax is good for you. And you’re good for him. You even him out. Keep him on Earth, you know? He needs that.”

I caught myself smiling again and mentally slapped myself. “Maybe.”

“No maybe. You’re calling him after dinner.”

Kim slid off the stool and helped me bring the bowls of spaghetti and sides of salad to the table. I popped a piece of garlic bread on the rim of each bowl and then called Luke to dinner.

He came careening down the hall in a burst of giggles and climbed up in his chair to seat himself before his meal.

I took the seat beside him, and Kim sat across from him.

“Hungry, buddy?” I asked.

Luke nodded, gripping his fork. I had already cut up his noodles for him, so he dug in, splattering his cheeks with spaghetti sauce.

“Is it good?” Kim asked him, restraining herself from laughing at how messy he was.

Luke nodded. “Good. Spaghetti is my favorite.”

“So your mom tells me. Want to know something crazy?”

Luke looked up at his aunt and paused in his chewing. “Yeah.”

In the most conspiratorial of whispers, Kim said, “Spaghetti is my favorite too.”

Luke’s eyes went wide like he had just heard the juiciest secret in the world. He looked over at me, and I chuckled. “The two of you are peas in a pod, I guess.”

The rest of dinner was enjoyable, despite the nerves growing in my chest as it drew closer and closer to the time for me to call Jax.

I found myself wondering if he even wanted to hear from me. What if he had only asked me out on the date to be nice? Or, more likely, what if all he wanted was a one-night fling?

I wasn’t stupid enough to believe he wasn’t that kind of guy.

When we were done eating, Luke helped us clear the table and fill the dishwasher before he was rewarded with one episode of his favorite cartoon before bed.

While he sat on the couch, eyes drooping as tiredness wrapped around him, Kim grabbed my cell phone from the kitchen counter and handed it to me. “Time to put on your big girl panties, Holly. Call him.”

I stared at the phone in her hands.

Kim pushed it into my palm and leaned back to rest her hip against the counter. “Go on then.”

“What do I say?”

“Oh my god, it’s not rocket science. Just tell him you had fun and you want to see him again. This is Jax we’re talking about, not some random guy. He’s going to say yes.”

If he said yes, there was no going back. I knew I wouldn’t be able to pull myself away from him if I found myself wrapped up in his arms again. I’d give in, and that could only lead to one thing.

I pulled his number up on my phone and stared down at it.

“You’ve got this,” Kim encouraged. “Like a Band-Aid. You can do it. Go!”

I shook my head as my nerves got the better of me. “Maybe I should wait for him to call me first?”

“No.” Kim pushed herself off the counter and stood in front of me. Her voice was firm but kind. “I know this is hard, and you haven’t done anything like this. But Kent is a thing of the past. It’s time to start doing things that make you happy, Holly. That’s what Luke deserves.”

She reached out, and before I could stop her, she pressed the dial button on my phone.

I let out a startled yelp and slapped a hand over my mouth as I heard the faint sound of the phone ring.

I lifted it to my ear, and Kim retreated, leaving me in privacy in the kitchen.

Jax answered on the fourth ring.

“Damn woman. What took you so long?”