Chapter 6

Holly

“Find anything interesting yet?” Kim dropped down onto the sofa beside her computer desk in her living room.

“No. Nothing.” I had been looking at job postings online for the last hour until Kim came home from work. Luke was watching cartoons as I mindlessly clicked through posting after posting, coming up with nothing but needed baristas, retail workers, and house cleaners.

None of them offered the flexible hours I currently had at The Roost. I would never be able to make it work at any of those other jobs unless I was willing to pay for daycare for Luke, which I just couldn’t afford. Things might be easier in the fall when Luke started elementary school, but for now, The Roost was my only option.

I closed the internet browser with a defeated sigh and leaned back in the computer chair, which squeaked obnoxiously beneath me. “I’ll just have to keep checking every day in case something better comes up.”

“And it will,” Kim said, reaching out and resting her hand over mine on the armrest. “I promise. There’s no pressure to make any changes right away. You’ve already taken some huge steps in the last month. You don’t have to push yourself so hard, you know.”

I glanced over at Luke. He was sitting on the sofa, crookedly draped across three of Kim’s throw pillows. His eyes were heavy, and I knew he’d be falling asleep soon. Probably right after I left for work.

“I know.” I stood and stretched before glancing at the clock on the wall. “I have to head out and catch the bus. I’ll be home probably just after midnight. Do you need me to stop and get anything on my way home? I pass that twenty-four-hour market on the walk from the station to here.”

Kim shook her head. “Don’t be silly. Just come straight home.”

I gave my sister a tight-lipped smile. “I think I’m going to stop anyway and buy a bucket of ice cream to drown my sorrows in. If you decide you want something, just text me.”

“Make it chocolate, and I’ll guarantee there’ll be a bottle of wine here waiting for you. We can share. Watch a chick flick like old times.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Don’t you have to work early in the morning?”

“Yeah, but who cares? One late night won’t kill me.”

“Okay.”

I said goodbye to my sister and my son. Luke endured several kisses and a long hug before I managed to make it out the door. I was running a bit behind schedule and had to jog three blocks to make it to my bus stop on time.

I was able to grab a window seat, and I stuck in my headphones and watched the pedestrians on the sidewalks for most of the ride. With nothing but my own thoughts to distract me, I found myself feeling pretty bummed out by the time I got to work. I was resentful of my job, my manager, and my living situation. Despite loving being with my sister, I wanted some sort of independence for me and Luke.

I tied my apron on and had to fight back tears of frustration. I longed to be sitting back in Kim’s living room scooping a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. I deserved at least that.

Talon popped his head into the break room and told me to hurry up. “You have a seated table already, girl. What’s taking you so long?”

“My shift hasn’t even started yet,” I snapped, clipping on my fanny pack. “Lay off, will you? Or hire more servers. It’s not my fault you’re constantly understaffed.”

Talon blinked in surprise and shook his head. “I’m your manager. You won’t speak to me like that again. You hear me?”

I put my back to him so he couldn’t see me roll my eyes. “I just need another minute.”

“One minute,” Talon said, and I heard the door close behind him.

I sighed and closed my eyes. “It’s going to be fine, Holly. It’s just a six-hour shift. Get out there, make some money, and pretend Talon doesn’t exist.” I flattened out my apron, opened my eyes, and gritted my teeth. “Go.”

I left the backroom and wove through the bodies in the kitchen to get to the front of the restaurant. The hostess, Marie, gave me a cheery smile and called hello as I grabbed my tray and hopped up the stairs to my section.

I rounded a corner to a private booth, tucked between a window and an artificial barn door barrier, and stopped dead in my tracks.

The man sitting at the table was grinning at me.

“Heya, Holly,” he said, his voice deep, alluring, and oh so familiar.

I nearly dropped my tray. In a mad scramble, I managed to prevent it from hitting the floor and was somehow able to sweep it back up to perch it across my forearm. Jax’s expression never faltered as he watched me make an ass of myself.

His light green eyes were as intense and mysterious as I remembered. The way he was looking at me made me feel like the same high school girl I used to be. My nipples were straining against the fabric of my bra, and my breath was caught in my throat as I took in more of him.

He was bigger now. Much bigger. Probably because he was a grown ass man who had filled out his height and long limbs. He was powerful, muscular, and lean. His crew cut, brown hair was a stark contrast to the shaggy mop he used to rock when we were teenagers. He had even managed to grow in a bit of a beard or at least a few days of growth.

He was hot as hell, and my whole body was attesting to that.

“You all right?” Jax asked, his eyebrows drawing together with concern.

I nodded frantically and tried to find my voice. “Yes. Sorry. I’m just really surprised to see you. I mean … wow. You look different.”

His eyebrows returned to their normal position, and he leaned back, resting one hand on the table, which he drummed his fingers on. Then, he smiled again, lips peeling up to reveal straight white teeth and a smile that made my knees tremble. “Different in a good way?”

“I suppose.”

He chuckled and tilted his chin back, making it quite obvious he was checking me out. Blushing, I stayed where I was, letting his green graze wander up the length of my body.

He was the only man who could admire me in such an intense way and not make me feel uncomfortable. He never made me feel uncomfortable. In fact, he had been the only man I ever felt safe with, and he hadn’t even been a man yet. He had been teetering on the edge of adulthood.

“Listen, my manager is kind of a dick, can you order something, please?”

Jax instantly looked around.

“Stop it,” I said, “You’re going to get me in trouble. Just order a drink or something. I’ll bring it back, and we can talk some more.”

Jax rolled his shoulders and nodded. “All right. What are these swirly sodas?” He pointed at one of the pictures on the menu in front of him.

I giggled. “It’s a kids’ drink. Strawberry ice cream and lemon-lime soda. It’s like a float.”

“One of those, then.”

“Oh. Seriously?”

Jax nodded. “Seriously.”

“Okay.” I gave him a grateful smile. “I’ll be right back.”

Jax nodded, and I could feel his eyes on me as I left and hurried to take the orders of my two other tables. Then, I rushed to the bar, ordered, grabbed his drink, and made my way back to his table.

When I returned, he was gazing out the window and didn’t notice me until I put the drink down. He leaned over it and looked back up at me, his expression impossible to read. “It’s a bit small, isn’t it?”

“I told you it was a kids’ drink.”

He grunted. “Might have to find your manager myself and put in a complaint about my server.”

“Try it,” I dared, unable to stop myself from smiling at him.

It felt like nothing had changed. The same silliness was still there, and it was so easy to look him in the eyes and talk to him.

It was a strange feeling.

Looking into Kent’s eyes had always frightened me.

“I have a confession to make.” Jax leaned back again and turned himself to face me. “I didn’t come here for the swirly soda.”

“No?”

He shook his head. “Nope.”

He was going to make me work for it. He may have changed physically, but he was still the same guy on the inside. Goofy, charming, easygoing. I wondered if that violent streak was still buried somewhere beneath the smiling facade.

“What did you come here for, then?”

Pleased that I was playing along, Jax continued. “I wanted to see you. Axel mentioned that he saw you here and that you had moved back to town. I must admit, I was surprised to hear it. Last time I saw you, I distinctly recall you saying you’d never set foot in New York City again.”

I swallowed. I had said that. But it was because I had to say those words out loud for my own sake. I had to convince myself that I couldn’t come back to this place—to him.

Jax didn’t know it, but I had told him I was moving two weeks after I found out I was pregnant with Luke. Kent told me he was moving to Philadelphia with or without me, and that it was my choice. At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing by making sure Luke grew up with his father around.

I had no idea how wrong I was.

I had followed Kent to another city, built a new life, and hated every second of it.

“I honestly didn’t think I would ever come back.”

“Why did you?” Jax asked.

There had never been any room for bullshit in the past between us. We were open and honest with each other, but right now, I didn’t have the nerve to tell him everything. I didn’t have the nerve to tell him I was a mother.

“Things ended really badly with Kent, and I needed a fresh start. I needed some support so I came home. I’m staying with Kimberly right now.”

“Kim.” Jax smiled fondly. “How is she?”

“She’s good. She’s a pharmaceutical rep now.”

“Shit. That’s awesome.”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “It is.”

Jax’s eyes flicked over my shoulder. “Your manager a stocky guy in a red polo shirt?”

I bit my bottom lip. “Yeah. Is he looking over here?”

“Yup. I can give him the stink eye for you when you leave. Bet he won’t say a word to you about lingering. Or you could tell him I was a terribly inappropriate jackass who kept hitting on you.”

“No, that’s okay. You don’t have to—”

Jax leaned sideways and rearranged his features into the most terrifying scowl I had ever seen. I stepped back and covered my mouth as a giggle escaped me. I so badly wanted to turn around and see Talon’s reaction. I was sure he had never been on the receiving end of such a look, and it was a look that would rattle most men.

Jax relaxed back into his chair. “Done.”

“Thank you.”

Jax got to his feet and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. He tossed a twenty down on the table and then turned back to me. We were so close, I could feel the heat radiating off his body, and I had to tilt my head back to look up at him. He towered over me as he always had.

“Listen,” he said, “like I said, I didn’t come for the swirly thing.”

“Swirly soda.”

“Yeah. Whatever. I wanted to see you. And now that I have seen you, I want to again. Do you want to go for drinks with me tomorrow night? We could go to Roy’s place. The bar on—”

“I remember where it is. And yes. I’d love to.”

“Great,” Jax beamed. “Eight?”

I nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

He surprised me by leaning in and pressing his lips to my cheek. His stubble tickled my skin as he pulled away, leaving me reeling in the scent of his cologne. “I’ll see you tomorrow night then, Holly. And if that manager of yours gives you any trouble, just remind him about me.”

“Okay.”

Jax gave me a crooked, almost devious smile as he cocked his head to the side. “I assume your number isn’t the same as it used to be?”

I shook my head.

“Can I have it so I can reach you?”

“Oh,” I blinked, “Yes of course.” How had I been so daft as to not realize he had just asked me for his number?

I gave Jax my number, which he committed to memory rather than put in his phone. He rewarded me with another brilliant smile before nodding absently at the other tables around us. “I’ll let you get back to work.”

I stood in front of the window like an idiot and watched Jax make his way from the entrance of the restaurant to a black Harley parked in the lot. He swung his leg over the seat and started the engine. I watched him tear out of the parking lot like hell on wheels and found my stomach fluttering with butterflies.

Had I just agreed to go on a date with Bryan Roberts; otherwise known as Jax?

I groaned and covered my face with my serving tray. “You stupid girl.” I tapped the tray against my forehead a little harder than necessary. “He’s dangerous, Holly. You can’t go running off with a guy like him.”

I was a mother now. Things were different. I had to be responsible at all times. And Jax, or as I remembered him from ages ago, Bryan, always made me impulsive and reckless. He used to say he just brought out the real me.

Whatever that meant.

But everything was different now. I had a son. Would Jax even be interested in me if he knew? And I had the baggage of a crazy ex who was sending me threatening texts. Now was certainly not the time to throw caution to the wind and indulge in a date with the man I had been thinking about for years but had told myself was strictly off limits.

“It’s just drinks,” I told myself. “You can handle drinks.”