Chapter 13

Jax

A son.

“Damn.”

Holly was looking everywhere but at me. Her eyes flicked from her empty wine glass to her now empty water glass, and then to her lap, where I suspected she was wringing her hands.

“How old is he?” I asked.

“Six.”

Six. “So that means?”

Holly nodded. “I found out I was pregnant shortly after I moved to Philadelphia with Kent. At the time, I figured having a baby would fix things between us. I thought that maybe it would bring us closer together. I was going to build my family.” She looked up at the cloudless evening sky and sighed. “I was so stupid.”

“Hey,” I said shortly, “you’re not stupid. I get it.”

Holly rubbed her lips together and finally met my eyes. “Thank you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. I just—” She broke off and laughed as her cheeks turned pink. “I just really liked the way you looked at me. It was like nothing had changed, and you still saw the girl that life hadn’t fucked up yet.”

“You’re not fucked up, Holly.”

She gave me a deadpan stare. “Oh, no?”

“No.”

“I moved away with a man I wasn’t in love with because I thought it was the best thing, and then I let him dictate my entire life for over six years. And my son’s life. I let him take me away from everything I knew and loved, and I let him keep me there. Under him. Like a thing instead of a person.”

My pulse was hammering in my ears as I listened to her. Kent was a dick. Always had been. But was he the kind of man who would ever hurt Holly? God fucking help him if he had laid a hand on her.

I mustered the courage to ask the question I needed the answer to. “Did he ever hit you?”

Holly shook her head. “No. Never. I swear it.”

Relief washed over me, leaving me feeling temporarily light-headed. I reached for my own water and took a couple of refreshing mouthfuls before giving her my full attention again. “But it was bad enough that you left?”

She nodded. “He drank a lot, and he was angry all the time. It went from foul moods to violent outbursts where he would put his fist through the wall. Breaking things was as bad as it ever got, but I didn’t want to stick around to see how long it would take before he got bored of that. I couldn’t expose Luke to that any longer than I already had.”

“Luke.” The name felt strange on my tongue. The name of a boy who had been fathered by the woman I loved and another man. “That’s your son’s name?”

Holly nodded and the strict way she was holding herself melted away a little bit. “Yes. Luke.”

“How’s he doing? He adjusting to all this okay?”

Holly stared at me for a moment before answering. “He’s a tough kid. He misses his dad, but he missed him when we all lived in the same house too. Kent wasn’t around much. After work, he’d go to the bar, and if he came home before midnight, it was a rare exception. He’d sleep in on the weekends, and maybe once a month, the three of us would do something together. But it never entertained Kent long. He would get bored and start itching for a beer, and that would be the end of it. Luke knew as well as I did that as soon as his father had a sip of beer, the day was done.”

“I’m sorry, Holly. You deserve better than that piece of shit.”

“I know.”

“Leaving must have been really hard. You’re a badass mom. Luke is lucky to have you looking out for him. Fighting the good fight. Not all kids have a parent who is willing to do what it takes to protect them from their own family.”

I was horrified to see tears clinging to Holly’s bottom lashes. “Hey,” I said, trying to think of all the things not to say when a woman was crying. “It’s all right. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I’m sorry.”

“No, no. You didn’t make me upset.”

I sat there blinking like an idiot as she dabbed at her eyes and chuckled at my shell-shocked expression.

“Thank you. I needed to hear that. The badass mom part, mostly.”

Sensing that the waterworks were over, I called over the waitress and ordered us both another drink and put in our food order. Five minutes later, a plate of piping hot spanakopita were placed in front of us with a cup of tzatziki sauce.

“So tell me,” I said, “What’s Luke like?”

Holly was chewing with her hand in front of her mouth. When she swallowed, she met my eyes and held my gaze. I could feel the joy radiating off her as she spoke about her son.

“He’s sweet and attentive. He likes taking care of me, funny enough. I think he likes my birthday more than his own. Last year, he somehow got himself up and out of bed before me and brought me breakfast in bed.”

Laughing, I leaned back in my seat. “What did he make you?”

Holly giggled. “He was five at the time. He poured cereal into a bowl and took a flower out of one of my vases and put it on top. And a glass of orange juice.”

“Fuck, that’s cute.”

“He’s incredible. He’s a really logical thinker, and I don’t know where he gets it from. He likes building things and taking them apart. I bet he’ll be an architect or a mechanic or something. Maybe an engineer. Right now, he’s back at the apartment with Kim building a Lego town.”

I thought back to the days that I used to love Legos. The days where my biggest concern was walking home from school without the older kids catching up with me to shove snow down the back of my shirt in the winter or dirt in the summer.

“He’ll be starting school in September?”

Holly nodded. “Yep. He’s enrolled at an elementary school a couple of blocks from Kim’s, so if I’m still living there, I can just walk him.”

“Practical.”

“Yeah, I guess. But it would be nice to have a place of my own before then. We’ll see how things go. It’s kind of difficult to make any real sort of money at The Roost. Especially when you have a shitty manager.”

“I can solve your manager problem. You just need to say the word.”

“I’m not going to sick you on my boss like a rabid dog,” Holly said flatly.

“Who said anything about behaving like a rabid dog?”

“I know you, Jax. You’d hold his hand over the deep fryer or something until he swore to be nice to me.”

I took a sip of whiskey. “I didn’t know you had such a low opinion of me.”

“Oh, please,” she said dramatically. “You and I both know exactly how it would go down. Talon would shit himself, and I’d be too embarrassed to ever show my face there again. Thanks, but no thanks. I can take care of myself.”

“Never said you couldn’t.”

Holly drank some of her wine and ran her tongue across her lips. I knew she hadn’t intended for it to be seductive, but holy hell, did it light my veins on fire with need.

“If I need you, I’ll ask,” Holly said.

“Will you?”

She held my gaze. “Yes.”

The rest of our meals arrived, and we dined while having pleasant conversations about Luke and Holly adjusting back to life in New York City. She told me about wishing he had friends over the summer, and we both joked about how great it would be if Luke and Hanna, Axel’s daughter, were closer in age.

“When they’re a bit older, it might work,” Holly said as she sipped her fourth glass of merlot.

“Define a bit older.”

“I don’t know, teenagers? Three years isn’t as big a deal.”

“Axel won’t like it,” I chuckled, my chair creaking as I adjusted myself.

“He doesn’t have to.” Holly winked.

“Playing with fire. I like that. Kind of a turn on.”

Holly blushed and put her wine down. When she looked back up at me, something was different. There was a seriousness to the way she composed herself. Her shoulders were pulling inward once more, and I could tell she was nervous again.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Nothing. I’m having a really nice time with you, but I want you to know I don’t expect you to want to keep doing this. I know things are different now. And now that you know I have a son, I completely understand if you want to just be friends.”

“Are you crazy?”

Holly bit her lip, and I remembered the way it felt when I used to push my thumb to her bottom lip right before I kissed her, warm and soft and mine for the taking.

“Of course, I want to see you again. Holly, for fuck’s sake, I feel like I’ve been waiting all these years for you to come back. I just didn’t know it until I saw you at The Roost. You looked fine as hell in that little apron, by the way.”

Holly blushed a fierce shade of red and buried her face in her hands. “Stop it.”

“No. I mean it.” I reached for her hands and pulled them away from her face. I wrapped my fingers around hers and gave them a gentle squeeze. “I’m glad you’re here, and I’m glad you’re with me.” Finally.

Holly gave me a wide smile. “Me too.”

I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket and dropped more than enough cash on the table to cover the bill. I got to my feet and offered Holly my hand. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

She slapped her hand into my palm, and I helped her to her feet. She made for the doors to go back inside, but I steered her to the right and lifted her over the little fence separating the restaurant patio from the sidewalk. She giggled with embarrassment and held her skirt down when I placed her on the other side of the fence.

Then, I stepped over it and took her hand once more. We walked maybe twenty feet down the sidewalk before I stopped short. Holly stopped beside me and turned to look up at me. As her lips parted to ask me what I was doing, I dropped my head, cupped her cheek with one hand, and kissed her like I was kissing her for the first time.

She tasted like wine and smelled like vanilla. Her lips were soft and full, and the way her tongue traced mine filled my brain with thoughts of her sealing her lips over my cock. I didn’t care that people were watching, and she didn’t seem to either, as she lifted herself to her tiptoes and pressed her lips more firmly against mine until our teeth were practically grinding together.

With a surprising amount of effort, I managed to pull away from her. “Come on.”

I opened my truck door and helped her up and then hurried around to my side. I climbed up, started the engine, and gave her a devilish smile as I pulled out onto the street.

Holly reached out and turned the radio up. The cab of the truck filled with the bass of the rock song, and Holly’s hand found my thigh. She ran her palm up and down, the warmth of her touch coming dangerously close to my swollen cock straining against the fly of my pants.

I glanced over at her to find her smiling coyly back at me. The woman knew what she was doing, that was for damn sure. She was playing with me, just like she used to, and if she started it, she always finished it.

Lucky for me.

I turned down the first dark, empty street I could find and parked at the very end. My headlights illuminated a cement barrier before I turned the engine off and the lights died. I tossed my keys into the cup holder and unclipped my seatbelt.

“If you want to throw down right now I’m more than—” I stopped talking when my eyes fell on Holly.

She was still in her seat, but she was facing me now. Somehow, she had already unclipped her seatbelt. Her cheeks and nose were pink. She grabbed the hem of her pink shirt and slowly pulled it over her head. The belly button ring I remembered was gone. In its place was a pale white scar beneath a pair of freckles she used to hate.

The bra she wore was pale pink lace and transparent. I could see her nipples through the thin fabric, and the metal clasp between her breasts was whispering to be undone.

Holly left her skirt on but hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her panties and shimmied them down her legs.

I was alone with Holly Whitton, who was half naked and sweeping her hair up into a ponytail, which could only mean one thing.

At least, it only meant one thing back then.

“Holy hell,” I breathed, and Holly grinned at me the same way she used to.

She looked like sunshine and sex as she reached across the console to undo my belt and pop open the button of my pants.