Chapter 11

Jax

Even before she spoke, I could tell Holly was frazzled. Maybe I shouldn’t have answered so abruptly.

“Sorry. I’ve been … it doesn’t matter. I was hoping I could see you again.”

“I’m not going to say no.” Holly asking me out on another date was a first. I was the one used to pursuing her. “When were you thinking?”

“Sooner is better than later. There are some things I want to talk to you about, that I want you to know. About me. I’m sorry, I’m rambling.”

“Sooner is better than later, hey? All right. How about tomorrow night then?”

“That would be perfect.” The relief in Holly’s voice was crystal clear, and something about it pricked my curiosity. What was it that she wanted to talk to me so badly about, and why so soon?

Shrugging off the desire to ask her more questions, I cut to the chase. “I’ll pick you up at seven? Dinner this time?”

“Yeah. Dinner sounds good. I’ll see you at seven.”

Holly hung up the phone first, leaving me staring down at the screen wondering what I had just signed myself up for.

I was most definitely glad she had called and even happier I had scored a second date. However, there was a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach akin to an itch I couldn’t scratch. There was something amiss. The tension in her voice had been enough to tip me off.

What could she possibly want to talk to me about so urgently?

I sighed and leaned back in Jamie’s office chair. She had gone off on her lunch break, leaving me to take over and manage any customer calls or inquiries while she was away from her desk. So far, no one had called, and I was alone with my thoughts.

They quickly led down a darker road that had me considering if I should call Holly back and tell her I couldn’t see her again.

The Black Hearts had made it very clear with their warning message that they had eyes on us, and they were planning something. The envelope hadn’t only contained images of Ryder and Axel but me too. Taking Holly out on another date would be exposing her to a potentially dangerous situation.

Not potentially. It already was dangerous. Lines had been crossed and a truce had been broken. There was going to be blood at one point or another, and having Holly on the sidelines was a selfish move for me to make.

The office door swung open, and Ellie came inside, brushing loose strands of hair from her forehead and leaving smears of grease along her hairline. She analyzed me as I sat in Jamie’s chair with the heels of my boots up on the desk.

“This doesn’t look all that professional,” she noted, gesturing at all of me lazily draped over the furniture. “Ryder would have your head if he walked in here right now and caught you.”

“Ryder has more important things on his mind than what his receptionist looks like.”

“You underestimate his high business standards.”

I rolled my eyes and put my feet down, winning an appreciative nod from Ellie, who leaned forward on the desk and cocked her head to the side. “What’s up? You seem off.”

“I’m not off.”

“Fuck off, Jax. I’ve known you long enough to know when something is wrong. What is it?”

Lying to her and making something up would be so much easier than telling her the truth. But Ellie was a good friend and always had been. I needed her advice.

“Holly just called me and wanted to set up another date. She said there were some things she wanted me to know and that it would be better if we met up sooner rather than later. So we made plans to go out tomorrow night.”

“Okay.” Ellie shrugged. “I’m not seeing a problem here. This is good, isn’t it? You wanted to keep seeing her.”

“Yeah, I did. I still do. But everything with the MC is making it hard to justify putting her at risk just because I like her.”

“Oh, please. You’re just like Axel. Sitting here thinking you know what’s best without giving her a chance to make any decisions for herself. That’s bullshit, Jax, and you’re better than that.”

“I’m really not.”

Ellie gave me a dark stare and rested her chin on her knuckles. “Jax. Don’t pull this with me. I know you’re a good guy. Holly does too. And she’s a grown ass woman. You don’t get to monopolize the situation and choose what you think is best for her. I mean, you can tell her what you think, but at the end of the day, this is her call to make. And who knows? Maybe this is what she wants to talk to you about.”

“I guess you have a point.”

“You guess?” Ellie smirked as she turned away and headed back into the shop. “I’ll take that as a ‘you’re right, Ellie.’”

“Don’t you have work to be doing?”

“I’m going, I’m going.”

Ellie disappeared back into the shop, leaving me alone once more with nagging thoughts that left me filled with guilt.

I knew Ellie was right. It wasn’t my place to make Holly’s choices for her. But things were bigger now than they ever used to be. It wasn’t the normal MC stuff. This was the real deal biker gang turf battle about to explode in all our faces, and Holly shouldn’t be anywhere near it.

I could always tell her the timing was off, and once everything settled down, maybe she and I could try again.

“Fuck.” I groaned, dragging my hands down my face.

Turning Holly away would be impossible. I had let her go once before. I would hate to have to do it again. After all the time that had passed, I still wasn’t over her. I never would be.

The office door opened again, and Sabian strode in. He was wearing black jeans and his black leather jacket. He pulled off his aviators, hooked them in the collar of his shirt, and drew up in front of the desk.

“This whole receptionist thing suits you, man.”

“Fuck off.”

Sabian held up his hands and chuckled. “All right, all right. Ellie warned me you might be tense. She said you had a bit of a predicament.”

“No. No predicament. Carry on.”

Sabian scratched at the black stubble along his jaw and under his chin. “Listen, man, I know I’m not the best advice giver around, but I don’t think you should make any decisions until you hear the girl out.”

I sighed and clasped my hands over my stomach as I leaned back in the chair. “So Ellie told you everything, then?”

“More or less.”

“Of course, she did. Can’t keep her mouth closed, that one.”

“She just doesn’t want you to fuck up the first good thing to cross your path in a long time. And not that I’m one for all this mushy love bullshit, but I gotta say I agree with Ellie on this one. Don’t be a dumbass, Jax.”

“You know, I seem to recall there being a certain someone you’ve always held back from going after. Pretty girl. Name starts with an A or something.”

Sabian’s eyes narrowed. “That’s different.”

“Really? Enlighten me. How is she so different?”

“Because if I went for her, Axel would paint his whole house in my fucking blood, you prick, and you know it. She’s his little sister, and I’m not foolish enough to test the waters. She’s far removed from all of this because that’s what Axel wants for her. It’s not the same decision I would make.”

“And you never followed your own advice and thought about what she might want?” I asked, steepling my fingers.

“I’m not having this conversation with you.”

I shrugged a shoulder. “Fine. But don’t think your situation is all that different from mine. We both keep them at bay because of our lifestyle. It always comes down to that.”

Sabian scratched at his stubble again. “Maybe it doesn’t have to with Holly.”

“Maybe,” I admitted. “But the timing couldn’t get any worse. Isn’t there some sense in riding this thing out with the Black Hearts and seeing where we come out on the other side before I invite Holly into all this? It’s fucked up. We both know it. Guys were killed with machetes. I mean, who fucking does that? I can wait until this passes.”

“In my experience, the timing is never right.”

“What a philosophical thing to say. That doesn’t help at all. Answer my question. Doesn’t it make more sense to get ourselves out of this Black Hearts mess first?”

“Sure. It makes more sense.”

I waited for a moment. I had been hoping hearing my friend say it would make it more convincing in my own head. It hadn’t worked.

Sabian seemed to know that’s what I had been after, reassurance that leaving things with Holly alone for now was the right move to make. He plucked his aviators free from his collar and slid them back on his nose. “Go on the date. Talk to her. Then make your decision. No harm can come from one little date.”

“Right.” Clearly, Sabian didn’t know Holly or the power she held over me.

Sabian turned to the door and looked back over his shoulder at me once he had pushed through. “And it goes without saying. Think without your cock for once, all right?”

“Get out.”

I could hear Sabian chuckling as he made his way through the shop until the door closed. Then I was left alone to bask in the aftermath of the conversation.

Sabian and Ellie were right. There was no sense in ending this thing with Holly, whatever it was, until I had more information. I needed to see what it was that she wanted to talk to me about. Maybe she and I were both on the same page, and this whole thing would be easy to figure out together.

Together. I liked the ring of that.

“You’re being a fucking girl,” I hissed to myself as I got to my feet and stretched my spine.

There was something nostalgic about the tightness in my chest. It was exactly as it had been when we were kids, when I’d thought I would be able to hold on to Holly Whitton, make her mine, and save her from a future where she was tethered to Kent. There hadn’t been a doubt in my mind that when it really came down to it, she would choose me.

I was the better option, no matter which way I or anyone else looked at it.

Yet, somehow, she had ended up with him of her own choosing, packed up, and left before I even had time to process that I was losing her.

If Holly wanted me after all this time, I would be hers.

And if the Black Hearts stood in the way of that, I would just have to meet them head-on, machete or not, and fight for what was mine.

I’d done it before. I could do it again.