Chapter 2

Holly

I hurried to tie the strings of my apron behind my back as my manager, Talon, shouted down the hall for me to move my ass and get on the floor. The restaurant was busy, and we were short-staffed, so I had to step in and cover two sections. It was my second week on the job, and I wasn’t at all prepared for the party of ten waiting for me to collect their drink orders.

I strapped on my not-so-flattering-but-mandatory fanny pack and tucked my notepad and pen into it, along with some spare change from my previous shift to split bills from tip money. Then, I paused in front of the door leading from the break room to the kitchens and took three slow, deep breaths.

“You’ve got this, Holly. It’s just temporary. Very temporary.”

Not at all convinced by my own mini pep talk, I pushed through the door and shimmied behind the line of prep cooks to escape out into the front house, which was just as noisy as the kitchens.

The Roost was a family-friendly establishment that had been serving relatively decent hearty meals for nearly three decades. The manager, Talon, was the son of the original founder, Gary Cross, who had combined his love of farm life with that of his restaurant. Walking into The Roost was like walking into an impractical hay barn.

Old fans spun lazily in the rafter-style ceiling, pushing cooler air down on the patrons who sat around picnic-style tables decorated in mismatching floral centerpieces. On numerous occasions, the restaurant had been used for wedding receptions, and I figured with the right amount of décor, it could look pretty good.

But at the present moment, the place was alive with screaming children, overwhelmed parents, and irritated couples who’d chosen the wrong place to come for dinner.

Talon patted my shoulder as he handed me a tray. “You can handle this, new girl?”

I stared up into his brown eyes, which were hard with stress, and nodded. “I think so.”

“Okay. No pressure but don’t fuck it up. You know what happens when your till doesn’t balance at the end of the night, and I don’t want you to be in that situation.”

I nodded. If my till was short when I closed at the end of my shift, I would have to make up the difference with my own tip money. That simply wasn’t an option for me. I had a six-year-old son back home, and every cent counted with this job.

Especially because “back home” wasn’t quite accurate for my situation.

“I won’t fuck it up.” I nodded confidently.

“Good answer. Now, let’s hustle.”

I started making my rounds around my section, making sure to introduce myself, to smile, and to tell each table the specials of the evening. From there, I took their drink orders, and, like a madwoman with her head cut off, made half a dozen trips to and from the bar with trays full of cocktails, sodas, iced teas, and swirly sodas for the kids.

All the while, my mind was on my son, Luke.

It was just past six, and he would have just finished eating dinner with my sister, Kimberly, whose apartment we were currently crashing at.

I had called her three weeks ago from the road. Luke had been asleep in the back, his forehead pressed against the side of his car seat as I cruised down the highway, and I’d taken advantage of the sliver of privacy.

“Holly?”

I hadn’t talked to Kim in months. Maybe more. She was probably so fucking confused to see my name flash across her phone screen. I cleared my throat as I kept an eye on a white SUV in my side mirror.

“Hey, Kim. Yeah, it’s me. How are you?”

A short moment of silence punctuated how awkward things were. “I’m good. Are you okay? Has something happened?”

I hated how transparent a random call to my sister was now. But her words stirred something in me that brought forth a swell of sharp grief that stabbed at my throat. I swallowed to try to force it down so I could find my voice. Kim, ever knowing, waited patiently until I had myself under control.

“I left him.”

“Did he hit you?”

“No,” I said quickly, “but things were getting worse. A lot worse. I had to get Luke out of there. I’m sorry Kim. I’m so sorry. I let him pull me away, and now I just feel like there’s so much distance between me and the rest of the world, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“Do you remember how to get to my place?”

My bottom lip quivered, and I nodded, forgetting she couldn’t see me. “Yes. I remember.”

“Okay. Come straight to my place. Only stop to pee and get food. I’ll make the spare room up for Luke, and you guys can stay as long as you need to. Seriously, Holly. As long as you need to.”

I couldn’t hold on to the tears, and I let them stream down my cheeks as I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. “Thank you.”

“How far away are you?”

“Another two hours, maybe.”

“Okay. I’ll be home when you get here. And Holly?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t be sorry. Turn on your radio, and listen to the music. Sing along with Luke. I know it’s hard, but trust me, everything is about to get better for you guys. I promise.”

I nodded again to nobody, and the tears stopped. “I know.”

My idea of “better” on that drive from Philadelphia to New York hadn’t been waiting tables at The Roost. But, it was the only place willing to hire me with my complete lack of work experience.

I had been with my ex, Kent, since we were in high school together. Our relationship had always been rocky, and I’d known all along there were things about him that didn’t align with the things I wanted for myself, but somehow, I’d ended up staying with him anyway. Then, after barely turning twenty, I became pregnant with Luke, and I shifted my mentality to accept that Kent was going to be my forever. My always.

I’d pushed down, buried, and repressed all thoughts and memories that would have opposed that. Memories and people. Well, one person.

And it had all ended up going down in flames anyway, despite my best efforts to maintain a happy household. Kent just wasn’t that man. He was angry and irresponsible. He didn’t want to be a father or a partner. He wanted to be single, and he wanted to spend his time at the bars. When he did come home, which was rare, it was with a bad attitude and a knack for breaking things in the house that were special to me, not to him.

Like my mother’s old china set.

Or my jewelry box from my great aunt.

When Kent had come home that night and gone into Luke’s room and broke his lamp, toy chest, dresser, and Lego castle, I knew I had to get us the hell out of there. It was only a matter of time before one of those fists was coming for my face or worse, my son’s.

I wasn’t going to let that happen.

No fucking way.

So I was crashing on Kim’s couch while Luke slept in her spare bedroom, which she had taken the initiative to paint bright green and fill with some toys and other comforts. She told me we could stay as long as we needed and promised that she was thankful for the company.

I ached to be back at her apartment with the two of them. Right now, they were probably cleaning up their dinner dishes and getting ready to settle down for the night. I wouldn’t be home for hours yet.

Snapping fingers at one of my tables distracted me, and I spent the rest of my shift racing around the restaurant. At one point, Talon gave me a thumbs-up, which was reassuring. Even though I didn’t like the job, I needed it, so a reminder that I was doing well helped take some of the stress off.

When my shift ended, my feet were pulsing and swollen, and my shoulders and arms hurt from carrying such heavy trays. The restaurant slowly emptied, and the four servers on shift began cashing out. Like always, my count balanced.

I saved my favorite part of closing for last. I took all my tips out of my fanny pack and placed them next to a debit printout of all my plastic tips, in other words, tips from clients who paid with a credit or debit card. Then, I added the two totals and paid my tip outs to the kitchen staff and hostesses.

After that, I had earned almost three hundred dollars in one evening. I could pay for some groceries for Kim and maybe give her a little bit towards her utilities. I wasn’t willing to freeload off my sister. She was doing enough by letting us be in her space and intrude so much in her life, the least I could do was try to cover some of her expenses while I saved up to get Luke and me our own place.

I tucked my change into my back pocket and made for the kitchens, only to be distracted by Talon’s raised voice at one of the back registers.

He was letting one of the other servers have it. Her name was Claire. She was a couple years older than me and sweeter than maple syrup, which made her an easy target for Talon’s anger. She kept her eyes on the floor as he yelled at her, and I saw the glistening of a tear in the corner of one eye from where I stood.

I waited for Talon to leave before going to her and asking if she was all right.

Claire nodded at me but was unwilling to meet my eyes. She sniffled a little and ran shaking fingers beneath her eyes to wipe away the wetness of her tears.

“I’m all right. I made a mistake is all. I have to pay out fifty dollars to cover my register.”

“Fifty dollars?” I asked. That was a lot of money for one error. It was hard to think that she would make a mistake so big. “What happened?”

“One of my tables dined and dashed.” She threw her hands in the air in exasperation. “But when we’re this busy and overstaffed, how am I supposed to catch that? I only have two eyes!”
I bit my bottom lip. Claire had three sons at home and was a single mom. Her mother went to her place to babysit while she worked in the evenings, and her ex’s mom came during the day when she went to work selling insurance. She was stretched thin, and she was barely making ends meet.

“Here,” I said, pulling out a fifty dollar bill from my fanny pack, “I had a really good night in tips. It’s not your fault those assholes walked out on you. Please let me help.”

More tears sprang to life in Claire’s blue eyes, and she shook her head frantically. “I couldn’t accept that.”

“How much did you make tonight, Claire? Talon had you in the smallest section. I know you couldn’t have cleared two hundred.”

She shook her head and sniffled some more. “One hundred and sixty-four.”

“You can’t bring home a hundred and fourteen dollars. That won’t go anywhere for your boys. I can help and still be okay myself. Please, just take it.”

After another moment of hesitation, Claire reached out and took the bill. “Thank you, Holly. Maybe one day, I’ll be able to return the favor.”

“I’m sure you will,” I said cheerfully, “and if not for me, for someone else. Us girls have to stick together, right?”

“Right.” She gave me a smile that looked like relief and gratitude before tucking the bill in her pocket. “I have to go find Talon to get him to sign off on me covering the loss. Thanks again. You’re a lifesaver.”

I watched Claire go and tried to tell myself that I still had enough cash to help Kim out with the groceries and utilities. There was always tomorrow night to earn more.

After a forty-five minute commute back to Kim’s apartment on the bus, I found myself slipping into Luke’s bedroom. A night-light on his nightstand cast twinkling stars on the ceiling, and I went to his side and sat down on the bed.

I stroked his blond curls and watched his eyelids dance as he dreamed. I wondered what sorts of things he dreamt about. Superheroes, adventures, games?

Or did he dream about his angry father?

If he did, I hoped they were the kinds of dreams he couldn’t remember in his waking hours.