Just Friends
BETSY IS SLOWLY BUT SURELY warming up to me. It may be because when we had to shut off her power, I brought her a coffee. It might have been how I was able to get her a major deal on reclaimed wood planks that match her flooring. Or it could have been that I found an authentic early 20th century outside light fixture worth $500 on eBay for $30. Probably it’s the texting though.
Me: Did you see what Donovan did today?
Bestie: OMG, yes. He is a sick mother.
Me: Man, I wish he was my dad sometimes.
Bestie: He isn’t? The way you guys act I thought he was.
Me: Oh no, Bestie, I’m going to make you sad.
Bestie: Crap, did I say something wrong?
Me: No, both of my parents passed away years ago when I was 21.
Bestie: Joe, I’m so sorry.
Me: I know, it was traumatic but forced me to grow up and take care of my bro.
Bestie: Oh shit, this is you grown up?
Me: This is me being my best self. Don’t hate.
Bestie: You are like no one else I know, that’s for sure.
Me: Compliments!!!
Bestie: Pretty sure it’s only one compliment, and maybe a backhanded one at that.
Me: I’ll take it from my new best friend.
Bestie: How does your actual best friend feel about it?
Me: Oh, Fucking Frank? Let’s not tell him, he will be too sad.
Bestie: Your best friend’s name is ‘Fucking Frank?’
Me: Yeah, he’s sensitive about me and our friendship though, so let’s keep our BFF status on the DL.
Bestie: My lips are sealed.
Me: I know it’ll be hard for you but it’s for the best.
Betsy’s house is a shit show but we’ve made a lot of progress, especially with the wiring and plumbing. I tell Betsy we have to get into her room soon because that corner is making me nervous.
Me: Bad news, B. We need to get into that corner in your room today.
Bestie: Ok, I’ll make sure to put a tarp on my stuff and shove it to the opposite corner.
Me: You are so amazing.
Bestie: Eyeroll . . . save it.
Me: I always do.
Bestie: What does that even mean? Never mind.
Me: ;)
Bestie: Please stop winking at me. Via text and IRL. It’s annoying.
Me: Fine, I am a master winker though.
Bestie: That’s definitely not a thing.
Me: It is.
Bestie: Sigh, I have to get to work.
Me: You’re so smart and dedicated.
Bestie: Thank you, Joe. I’m still not telling you.
When I get to see her, we immediately fall into our teasing banter. It’s not much different from other clients I’ve had in the past. Some need me to be professional only and some have become good friends. You can tell within a few minutes whether you have the go-ahead to be overtly friendly. Betsy and I are friendly, she wouldn’t admit we are friends—yet.
“Hey, Bestie, looking good. Did you use the tarp yet?” I ask her, as she looks at the wiring work Pedro did in the front parlor yesterday.
“This room is going to be my favorite, I can already tell. The windows, the fireplace, I’m going to read all the books in this room,” she says with a happy look on her face. That’s the goal, giving people their dream home. It makes it more fun when they really care about the end product as it will affect their lives, not how other people, or 7X7 Magazine sees it. “Yes, I put the tarp out. How do you make an innuendo about a sheet of plastic?”
“It’s my own special talent,” I say and hold in the wink I was going to lay on her.
She bends over with laughter. “Oh my god, Joe, your face when you’re trying not to wink, is priceless. Don’t hurt yourself over there, buddy.”
“You’re the only one causing me any pain, Ms. Carter. I agree. This room is going to be amazing for you to read all your porny books in,” I say and turn away from her so I can wink in private. I can’t help it.
I feel her warmth behind me. “Did you just wink at my fireplace?”
“That’s between me and him,” I reply and lean back a little and she knocks her shoulder to mine.
“Get to work you objectum sexual,” she says with a squeeze to my bicep which I flex automatically.
“What’s an objectum sexual?” I ask.
She laughs as she heads out the front door for her day. “Google it.”
I do and spend way too long reading about a lady who is in love with a roller coaster.
* * *
I have bad news for Betsy and I’m not looking forward to delivering it. Marisol and I tore out that corner of her room and it’s bad. There’s a leak there and a lot of nasty black mold. We have been wearing breathing masks this week anyway but now I’m worried Betsy may have not been protected the way I want. We remove most of the wall and then are forced to move Betsy’s things to the front room. The bad news I have to tell her is that she can’t live here. We have to have the mold remediated and removed, find the leak, and then replace any rotted or damaged wood in the structure.
I have an idea but I’m not sure if she’ll go for it. I mean, we are friends, but it may be too a little bit too soon and too weird. I text her as we leave her home, all of her things packed into my truck.
Me: Hey Bestie, can you meet me for tacos in an hour? Los Altos?
Bestie: Um, are you asking me out? Did you not Google objectum sexual?
Me: Hardy har har, I did and trust me I like my sexual partners to be alive and human. Although, the lady in love with a roller coaster seems happy. Not a date, but I like your enthusiasm. We need to talk and I thought tacos might ease the bad news.
Bestie: Now I’m nervous.
Me: Just meet me and we’ll work it out.
Bestie: I need to be at my other job by 9 but I’ll meet you in 30.
Me: Come straight here, do not go home.
Bestie: Now I’m dying, did my house get fire-bombed?
Me: Not that bad, can I pick you up from work?
Bestie: Nah, it’s a quick bus ride I’m leaving now, you’re already there?
Me: Yep, I’ll be the hot guy with the beer.
She bursts through the door looking harried, looking for me. She finds me and beelines over.
“Why are all of my things in your truck?” she asks, breathlessly.
I stand, pull her into a hug and rub her back. “Take a breath, Bets. Then sit, I’ll order you a beer and we will chat.”
She does what I say and when she sits, I order her a Pacifico and chips and salsa. Once she’s taken a swig of beer and eaten a few chips, I go for it.
“We found mold and rot in the back room, your house is inhabitable for a few weeks, and all of your things are in my truck because you’re coming home with me,” I say all in one breath, looking directly at her. Her face pales and then looks incredulous at the end.
“I’m going home with you, am I?” she asks and I nod. “So, it’s that bad that you had to pack all my stuff? You couldn’t wait for me to get there to do it?”
“I’m already upset about the fact that you have been living there without a breathing mask. We’ve been wearing them all through demo and restructuring. You’ve been exposed to the mold too long. I don’t want you back there unless you have a mask or the mold is all gone.” She is fidgeting and I know she’s going to try to talk me out of her living with me and Jack for a few weeks. “I’m offering you my guest room because you are my friend, and I feel bad for not finding the mold sooner when I knew it was a possibility. Unless you have family or a friend to stay with? I was assuming you didn’t since you were sticking it out in that sad ass room.”
Her eyes narrow at me. “It wasn’t sad. You’re right though. My parents live in Ohio and I’m too old to couch surf. I don’t have any friends with a guest room. This is San Francisco for fuck’s sake.”
“Which is why I am offering you our fabulous guest room. It’s the least I can do, especially if you bring your amazing coffee making skills.”
She runs her hands through her hair which is down today in a riot of blue around her face. “This is probably the craziest thing I’ve done, but yes. I accept you and your guest room offer. I’m a realist and I could probably swing an Air BNB but if you’re offering and it’s livable, I’ll take it but I insist on paying rent.”
“Wow, I thought I was going to have to do more convincing. Awesome, now let’s order and then we can get you settled in Casa Davis.” I hold my hand up to high five.
She high fives me and shakes her head. “Dude, I’d be an idiot to pass up your offer. Although, I’m assuming this is a relatively neat house, with Wi-Fi?”
I put my hand to my chest and give her a look if horror. “Please, our home is a masterpiece and the Wi-Fi is the strongest in the land.”
We eat and chat and I feel her tension easing a little. I do my very best to try to make her laugh but not come on too strong. I’ll save that for once she’s comfortable.
“You ready?” I ask extending my hand to help her up.
She nods and takes my offer. When she stands, we are almost nose to nose. “I’m completely not ready to live with you, Joe Davis. Let’s do this.”