CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Chris
Ky felt right in my arms. I didn’t even want to try to define it. As his lips descended on mine for the second time, I couldn’t help but feel like this was meant to be in some sense.
I had forced myself to go on that date. I knew it wasn’t right, but what was I supposed to do. Matt had made his interest known from the first time we’d waited in line together. I was more surprised that it took him two months to work up the nerve to actually ask me out. Sure, I could have been the one to initiate things, but for some reason, my heart was barely even in it.
Ky. The stupid fucker had gotten into my head. With his sexy dark hair and tan skin. And his small nose ring and the new nipple piercings as well. Those damn barbells only magnified his hard nipples half the time. I couldn’t help but to look and more so, want to play with them. Suck on them.
I was hard. Like it was impossible that he couldn’t tell what he did to me, hard. And as my hips pushed into his, I could feel that I affected him the same. My fingers itched to wrap themselves around his length, only I wasn’t sure he was ready for that.
I’d seen the war in his eyes. The one he’d been fighting for some time it seemed. And now I knew it had to do with me. All the answers became clear the moment he’d come barreling into my room like some angry heathen. He hadn’t given a warning or called out in any sort of way. Not Ky. He had come to some sort of decision in the last few hours and I wondered how. What was it that had set him over the edge? Was it the fact that I went out on a date? A date that I didn’t even bother trying to hide was with a guy.
This was not the time to let my mind run wild with questions.
Ky was here, in my room, in my grasp, kissing me like his life depended on it. Like he was a man starved and alive for the first time. And I couldn’t deny that I felt the same.
“Chris,” he breathed out as we both broke apart for air. “Shit.” His voice was raw and heady as he gripped my hips and thrust his steel hard cock into mine. There were too many clothes between us and I suddenly became aware that my pants were still undone.
“I want to touch you, Ky,” I breathed out in a pant as he kissed my jaw and then down my neck.
“Fuck,” he growled as he nipped at the thin flesh along my collarbone. A desperate moan ripped from my lips, telling him that I needed more.
I was floating. There was simply no other way to describe it.
My hand slipped into his pants. The moment my fingers brushed over his slick, plump head, I knew there was no going back. Sensing that I needed more room, his hurried fingers worked to unbutton his jeans and pull the zipper down, allowing me the room I needed to wrap my hands around his thick, throbbing flesh. I think a moan escaped me as I gripped him and moved my hand up his length, squeezing with just the right amount of pressure. The things I wanted to do to his cock—with it—were endless. All I knew right then, was that I had to feel his cum coat my hand.
“Fuck. Chris. Don’t. Stop. Shit, that feels so good,” he said in choppy bursts as his hips thrust to work his cock in my hand. “I’ve been thinking about this. Imagining coming all over your hand while I was alone in bed. Knowing what you feel like against me as you touch me. You want my cum on you, Chris?”
Hot damn. My hand worked faster, trying to achieve that goal.
“Yes, please,” I begged as I ran my thumb over the head of his cock, collecting his wetness and spreading it around.
I wanted to drop to my knees and take him in so deep that he’d stretch my throat. The thought that he wasn’t ready for that just yet was what stopped me. It was obvious he’d never been with a guy before and I would have even gone as far as to say that he hadn’t ever really thought of being with a guy. Until now. I was afraid that one wrong move would send him running. So, I captured his lips with mine again and gave him everything that I had in me.
I felt him pulse in my hand and I knew he wasn’t far off.
“Shit, Chris. That’s it. Make me come.”
If my brain had been working right, I would have been surprised at his words. Not necessarily that he was that dominant and demanding, but more that he had let go with me so easily.
And so, I did what he told me to do. I gripped him a little tighter, tugged a little faster, and once his warm cum started to splatter on my hand and everywhere else, I eased him out of his orgasm.
“Are you okay?” I asked like an insecure idiot, my hand still gripped around his softening cock.
“I…I don’t have words right now,” he said, giving me an honest answer. “I should, uh, get cleaned up.”
I let him go because I knew no matter how much I wanted him to stay and crawl under the covers with me, he needed the time to collect himself.
I wasn’t going to push this or force it into something that I wanted it to be. If Ky really wanted me—wanted this—I had to believe that he’d come back to me at some point. I knew it wasn’t going to be tonight, or even tomorrow. The thing that I found shocking, was that I didn’t mind it. For some reason, things with Ky felt different. I’d wait for him if that was what he needed.
Maybe that was dumb. And maybe he’d never be ready, but I had to take the chance.
I held back a sigh as I watched him walk out of my room and down the stairs. Then I went into my bathroom and cleaned up. Sure, a part of me wanted to lick my fingers, to finally know what he tasted like, but I resisted the urge as I started the shower.
Hope that he might come back up and join me warmed my heart but as I rinsed away the suds from my body, I knew it wasn’t going to happen.
I crawled into my big bed feeling a little lonely and disappointed with a dick that was still painfully hard. The events played over and over in my head, his words right in my ear. I didn’t even feel bad about closing my eyes and wrapping the same hand that had just been around his cock around mine. Something about that spurred me on. I jacked myself to the thoughts of how Ky had reacted to my touch and I came with a new kind of intensity.
After a fitful night of sleep, I rolled out of bed just as the sun was casting a weak glow through the sheer curtains. Not even fifteen minutes later, I was sitting on my board rocking with the vast ocean as we both greeted the new day. Sometimes it wasn’t even about trying to catch a wave, little as they may have been. It was more about putting the world to my back and giving into what I felt just sitting there with my legs dangling in the water.
I stayed there for a long time, letting the sun warm my face. I was tired and unsure of what was going to happen next. With the way Ky had been, there was no telling how he would react to what had happened last night. Me, well, I was sure that I wanted more. Maybe I had for a while now and had just done my best to shove that feeling away.
When Ky was relaxed, he was amazing. I loved his laugh as much as I liked his thoughtful face. That cute crease he got between his brows when he was staring down into the engine of a car, trying to figure out the next thing he was going to tinker with. The way his beautiful cheeks turned the lightest shade of pink when he was frustrated.
Yeah, maybe I’d watched him a little more than I cared to admit.
I wasn’t sure how it’d be when I went into the house. It wasn’t like I dreaded going home, in a sense, it was more like I didn’t know how Ky was going to act. That was the part that I hated. The unsureness of it all and the fact that if he was freaking out, he might not let me close enough to ease things.
There was no more putting it off. As I turned around to paddle in, I realized that I hadn’t actually even attempted to catch a single wave. It wasn’t like I had to go hardcore, push myself to my limits every day, but I did like to touch the water in some way. I tucked my board under my arm and half-jogged up the beach to my home.
I rinsed off the sand in the outside shower, grabbed a fresh towel, and made my way inside.
Instantly, my eyes connected with Ky’s. He was standing behind the island, Ingram beside him, humming as she pushed some eggs around in the huge cast iron skillet. I loved how they both smiled at me the moment they saw me. Ingram’s was sweet and wide while Ky’s was more sly, almost with a hint of knowing.
“Morning,” Ky said as he pushed a steaming cup of coffee in my direction.
Our fingers connected as I reached for it. His eyes immediately dropped down and mine followed, though neither of us pulled away. The rippling liquid in the cup just a shade lighter than the black coffee. Perfectly matched to the way I always made mine with a splash of cream. The color a perfect match to his beautiful tan tone.
“Morning,” I said back as I planted my feet hard on the wood floor so I wouldn’t round the island and kiss him the way I wanted to.
“I made breakfast,” Ingram said, completely unaware of what was going on.
“Smells good. I’m starved.” I sat down as she plated the food and set one in front of me. “Thank you.”
Ky sat on my left while Ingram took the chair on my right. I shouldn’t have been surprised because it seemed that I was often the buffer between the two of them, but there had been a little part of me that wondered if Ky would switch things up to get some distance. He didn’t, and it was all I could do to hold back a smile all throughout breakfast.
“Did you get an appointment with that doctor Cami suggested?” Ky asked after he’d cleared most of his plate.
“Oh, yes,” Ingram answered after she’d swallowed. “They are actually able to see me this afternoon. They told me to bring my insurance card. I told the lady on the phone that I had no idea what that was. I think she was not—wasn’t sure how to respond to that.”
Ky clenched his fork and I got the feeling he was trying his hardest to resist rubbing his head. I wouldn’t have said that I was used to the lack of real-world knowledge that Ingram had, but at this point, I’d just learned to roll with it.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it,” Ky answered and I had picked up on the fact that he liked to sweep things under the rug.
He didn’t take the time to explain the things she didn’t understand half the time. I knew he wasn’t frustrated with her, though. It was something I’d been meaning to talk to him about. He played the big brother and swooped in to take care of everything but I had a feeling he didn’t realize that wasn’t what she needed all the time. I could tell that little things frustrated her and that she wanted to know all the answers to the things she didn’t understand.
Communication was definitely a problem with Ky. He was the ‘handle shit’ and ‘get things done’ alpha male one hundred percent. He didn’t like to stop to figure out things beyond getting to the goal. I wasn’t saying it was a bad thing but it clearly wasn’t what Ingram needed all the time. She didn’t want to be sheltered anymore and I could tell with each passing day that she was growing irritated with the bubble that Ky had put her in.
“What time is your appointment?” Ky asked. “I’ll leave work and take you.”
“No,” Ingram said and suddenly I felt very stuck in the middle, both figuratively and literally. “You don’t have to do that. Cami is going to take me.”
That had been my idea and I was about to open my mouth and say so when Ky spoke again.
“Alright.” His head bobbed like he was trying to grasp the concept that she didn’t need him to take her. “Just give them that card I gave you and tell them to put the full payment on there.”
“Okay. Thank you.” Ingram got up and took her plate to the sink. She stood there for a long moment and I knew she was going back and forth in her head on what to do. I’d said it enough times I figured I’d let her come to this decision on her own. I smiled at her as she turned around, leaving the dirty dish in the sink, and walked away. “I am going for a walk. I’ll see you tonight, big brother.”
The way she was trying to figure out what to call Ky was just adorable.
“Hey, Ingram,” Ky called out just as she reached the back door. She paused and turned to face him. “Call me after. Let me know what they said, alright?”
“I can do that.” She gave a sweet smile then was out the door.
“I gotta get to work,” Ky said as he scooted his stool back and stood.
“Yeah, I know,” I replied not turning to look at him. I may have felt a little disappointed but I didn’t want it to show.
“I don’t know where my head is at.” His voice was low and full of truth. “I can’t explain things and maybe I’m not ready to talk about it out loud, but that doesn’t mean…”
When he didn’t finish his statement, I turned my head to look up at him. His eyes were on me—more specifically my lips. His tongue snaked out, slowly dragging over his plump bottom lip. I didn’t make a move, if he wanted it, he was going to have to take it. I realized this whole thing was a delicate balance. Even though I had more experience with this, I decided it was best to let him take the lead.
It was obvious he wanted to kiss me—hell, a blind man could have seen that. The burning question was, would he?
Then his hand was cupping the side of my face as his body leaned down. His lips met mine in a soft and sweet kiss. It was a bit strange to get this tender side of him but I couldn’t deny that I liked it all the same.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he broke away and then placed a firm kiss on my jaw. “You deserve more than what I can give you…someone better. I’m just not there and I can’t promise that I will ever be.” His words were a whisper in my ear.
I hated it for him. That struggle, I’d been there before. Sure, it was a long time ago, but I would never forget the confusion that tore at me for a long time before I gave in and accepted that this was me.
He was moving away before I could say or do anything.
“I’ll bring something home for dinner,” he called out over his shoulder before the front door closed behind him.
And suddenly it wasn’t just him that was the confused one. I had no idea what any of this meant or where it was going. After a kiss like that, so tender and full of emotion, I had no idea what to think. Either he was trying to tell me that he wanted it and begging me to have patience with him, or he was somehow giving an end to it.
Ugh.
Sometimes men could be more confusing than women.