CHAPTER THIRTY
Ky
I wouldn’t exactly have said that the house was quiet without Ingram and Chry there, but in a way, there was an emptiness that moved through the halls and hung around in the main area sometimes.
It was strange how quickly I’d gotten used to not only living with Chris, but having my sister right there at just about every turn.
Sometimes I’d leave the TV on while I cleaned up the kitchen just to have some noise.
There were habits that I hadn’t realized I’d picked up in a short amount of time that still stuck with me. Like automatically pulling out three plates, or pouring an extra glass of water, or reaching for something at the store that I knew she’d either like or need. Silly things that I hadn’t realized were a big change at the time—and even now.
Strangely, getting used to Ingram not being there was harder than getting used to living with Chris…like as a couple. Yeah, made no sense to me either, but I wasn’t about to fucking argue with it. We’d developed some sort of routine and it didn’t feel mundane, even though it should have. The more the days went on, the less scared and resistant I became. And the less weird it felt. I sort of started to adapt to his way of thinking, I was me and that me was head over heels for someone with an amazing soul. Sure that someone happened to have a dick between his legs, but what did that really matter? While I did love his glorious dick—and ass, and hands, and mouth—it wasn’t what drew me to him.
“Good morning,” I said as he walked into the house after doing his best to rinse the beach off in the outdoor shower. No doubt there was still sand hidden someplace just waiting for the right moment to sprinkle itself all over the floors.
“Morning,” he said with a huge smile on his face as he took the outstretched cup of coffee I was offering him, made just the way he liked it. “Did I wake you?”
“No,” I said as I took a sip of my own dark goodness. “I sort of developed this thing for getting up at the crack of dawn since I’ve been here. I like to watch the boy on his board as he greets the day.”
I hadn’t exactly ever let him know that I liked to watch him. That before we were together, I would wake up and sneak out after he’d made his way down the shore. It wasn’t that I was necessarily trying to hide that, it was just that it hadn’t really come up before today.
You see, today was a big day. Today was the first day since Chris had been stabbed that he attempted to get back out in the water and on his board. He didn’t really ride this morning or try to get a wave, he mostly did that sit-and-rock with the ocean thing that I noticed he did sometimes. But it was a step. A step back toward normal, toward moving on, to recovering the good parts of his life that he had before.
“Oh, yeah?” he asked, his brow raised to the ceiling as he tried to hide his smirk behind a sip of coffee. “Is this boy cute?”
“Definitely,” I replied, my eyes pinning him with a deep stare as I moved around the island and to him. “And hot, and funny. Sexy. Sweet. Caring.”
“Wow, he sounds like the whole package. Do I need to go find this boy? Because it sounds like you might have a bit of a crush on him.”
“Oh, I do.” I lifted his chin with a crooked finger then kissed him. “A big crush. Huge. So massive that it drives me crazy.”
“Well, I bet he feels the same about you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he replied, his cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he did that thing where he pulled his full bottom lip between his teeth. That thing that I found completely adorable and cute.
“Do you think he loves me? Because I love him.”
I felt my chest seize at my admission. I’d been holding it back for a while now, and in all honesty, it was killing me. I loved this man in front of me and I hated that he didn’t know it. I woke up every morning feeling a little cheap that I hadn’t told him, a little angry that I couldn’t just let go and free my entire soul to him.
His breath hitched and I felt him stiffen against my hold for a second. I wasn’t sure what that meant. Was he in shock? Did he not feel the same? Was he unsure of what to do?
His eyes blinked and then locked onto mine. A golden honey color danced around the center of his blue orbs. I’d seen it once or twice, enough that I could figure out what it meant. All the anxiety fled my body, and even if he didn’t say it back, I knew the truth. He cared, so deeply that his eyes couldn’t hide it. And maybe he didn’t love me fully quite yet, but he did have a place carved out in his heart that was all mine.
“I’m sorry,” he practically sputtered out. “Could you repeat that?”
“I love you, Chris. I have for a while now. If you don’t feel it wholly, that’s okay. I don’t need you to. All I ask is that you accept how I feel and…take it easy with my heart.”
Yeah, I didn’t know I had it in me either. I mean, I even kinda wowed myself just then.
“Shut up,” he said with a sexy, sly smile. “I love you, too, Ky. I want this—us. I’ve never…felt so whole in my entire life.”
I cleared my throat. His words felt like they were ripped from my soul, but I knew if I tried to open my mouth to tell him that, I’d clam up. So, I kissed him, hoping that he understood everything that I was giving him. Everything he meant to me and all the things I wanted for the future.
I broke away and smiled down at him. He got it, I could see it in his eyes.
“Cool, dude. So you want some breakfast?” he said and I couldn’t stop my head from falling back or the loud bark of laughter that escaped me.
This guy. He got me. He knew how I worked and he didn’t push me when he knew I couldn’t go any further.
“Hell, yeah. Eggs and toast?”
“Just what I was thinking,” he said with a wink as he slid out of my hold and made his way to the refrigerator. “Bacon or sausage?” He turned his head and gave me a sexy, knowing smirk.
Just thinking back to that time made me smile. I tried with all my might to push him away, but then he did little things that made me hate what I had been doing. Made me question if it was for the best.
“Bacon. Wheat toast, because who the fuck has sourdough just sitting around?”
“Um, I do,” he snapped back jokingly. “You never know when a food situation might call for it.”
I chuckled as I moved to take half of the things he was trying to load up in his arms. I set them on the counter, then dug out the pans I knew he’d need. With a quick kiss to his temple, I moved to sit at the opposite side of the island, so I could still be close to him but not be in his way.
My phone rang and the smile slipped from my face as I snatched it up off the counter. Seeing that it was Iron, I answered right away.
“Yeah?”
“Axe is coming in. We’re holding a meeting and I want you and Lake there.” His voice came out calm and even but I knew something was going on.
It shocked the shit out of me that he was opening up the meeting room, and that he wanted me there. Damn. That made me almost shiver with worry. It also kinda made me puff my chest up, because that was a big deal to be allowed in that room and with the head chapter’s prez there, too.
“Ridin’ now,” I said because I knew better than to ask how long I had or when I should get there. Prez called you, then you went, even if he didn’t say it was right then. And if it was for something like this, with other chapters riding in, then you better make sure your ass was ready before they got there.
“Good. See ya when you get here.”
Then he dropped the call and my eyes looked up to see Chris pinning me with a knowing stare. Since we’d been together there hadn’t really been that much club business going on. Nothing out of the ordinary anyway. So this was our first time dealing with it as a couple. I mean, it wasn’t like Chris was a stranger to the club life. He knew the ins and outs. He’d been there for the brothers through the ups and downs. And I also got that he understood how things went.
“Club stuff?” he asked but it felt more like a statement. Like he got it and he was simply letting me know.
“Yeah,” I said and hesitated. “Axe is coming in for something. Iron wants me there for the meeting.” I felt like I wanted to tell him something. I mean, we both knew that I wouldn’t tell him what went on behind those closed doors.
His eyes slid away from mine in a way that had me taking a long pause to study him. I couldn’t figure it out but my brain was telling me that either he knew something that I didn’t or that he understood the seriousness of this whole thing.
“Be safe,” he said as he moved into my waiting arms. He kissed me. It was quick, but no less meaningful.
“I’ll come home when I’m done.”
“And I’ll be here.”
With that, I was off with a mix of excitement and dread weighing down my gut.
An hour later, the table was full and Lake and I stood against the wall as Axe took the floor. And then Bocca.
A lot of things happened in that room.
My roots grew stronger within the club.
I gained even more respect for Axe, as well as Iron.
Anger washed over me as I listened to them speak.
And I realized that I’d do anything for my brothers, no matter how much they tried to shield me from things or how bad the evil out there really was.
This was my family.
Yesterday.
Now.
And until I took my last breath.
You fucked with one of us, then you fucked with us all.