CHAPTER FIVE
Ky
Ten years.
That was how long it had been since I’d seen her.
Ingram. My sister.
I relived the last moment I saw her every time I closed my eyes. The disappointment and hate mixed in her eyes. The expression that told me how she couldn’t understand why I’d turn my back on them. How I could so easily walk away. And why I would want to let myself into the outside world.
I figured the sins on the outside of the fence had to be better than the ones within. In a way, I was wrong. And in a way, I wasn’t.
She’d changed so much. Her frame much taller. Her face thinner. And somehow, the life in her eyes seemed much duller than how I remembered it. Now that I’d been away, I could only imagine the things she had to go through. The kind of hell that place must have turned into. And by the huge protrusion on her abdomen, it was maybe worse than I wanted to picture.
Fuck!
What the hell was I going to do?
There were so many questions going through my head and I couldn’t hold onto one of them long enough to open my mouth and demand an answer.
How the hell had she found me?
I was sure that the moment I walked away, they had been forced to forget me. My name was never uttered again. And my parents suddenly only had one child instead of two.
“How did you find me?” I asked gruffly.
The invite that Chris had thrown out still hung thick in the air, but I wasn’t ready to deal with that just yet. I knew by the end of the night, I’d be at his house, trying to figure out my next step for Ingram.
Fuck, I still couldn’t believe that she was here.
“Grandma,” she answered and her eyes darted around to Iron, Mouse, and then Knight. I was sure for any normal person this was a scary situation to be in, surrounded by huge, scary, rough bikers. But for Ingram and the kind of life she’d grown up in, it must have been utterly shocking and terrifying. “Mom gave me her address. Sh-she told me to find you. Grandma said that she only knew about me because you had told her. I…”
Her words trailed off as she blinked her eyes and looked a bit woozy.
“Here, sit down,” Mouse said before I could even react. He rushed to her side and gently took her arm. He pulled out a stool and helped her get up onto it. “Let me get you some water.” Then he was around the bar, pulling out a cool bottle of water and sliding it to her.
“Thank you,” she said then turned her attention back to me. “I am sorry, Kynaston. That night—”
“No.” I cut her off with a growl that made her flinch.
I couldn’t deny that I wasn’t the same person she once knew. That night had changed me. What had happened back then changed me. I’d been away for so long that I couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to be back there. Through the years, I’d done my best to forget. Everything. Everyone. I had kept my back straight as steel and my eyes forward, afraid of what would happen if I so much as glanced back. I wasn’t about to change that now, not even with her here to tempt the memories into revealing themselves from the depths of the shadows where I’d shoved them down.
“Ky,” Iron said with a firm, but not gripping, hand on my shoulder. “You good?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”
“Why don’t you go pack some stuff. We’ll watch your sister, alright?” I nodded without looking at him. “You got a safe way to carry her there?”
“The Chevelle is still here, I’ll take that,” I answered numbly. “I’ll be back.”
My answer was short and cold. I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of leaving her with my brothers. Not because I didn’t trust them. It was more that I didn’t trust the girl that shared my blood with me but felt like a stranger.
“I would rather come with, if that is alright.” Her voice was tight.
“Fine,” I mumbled and didn’t even wait for her to get off of the stool before I made my way out of the clubhouse.
I opened the door to my room, letting it swing wide and it hit the wall with a soft thump. I left it open knowing her shorter legs and off balanced extra weight would take a moment to catch up with me.
I moved around, grabbing things and throwing them into the backpack that I kept for longer trips. I was half aware of what I was tossing in. My brain was with it enough to figured that I needed a shitton of underwear and shirts. As well as deodorant, shampoo, and a razor. I snatched up my toothbrush and toothpaste and tossed it on top without much care. Socks and pants went next.
I knew Ingram had entered but I didn’t give her my attention, not even as she stood there awkwardly taking in her surroundings like a wide-eyed lost child.
“Do you, uh, need anything?” I asked once I’d zipped up the pack with a jerk.
“No,” she said shaking her head. “I have a few things. Grandma gave me enough money to get here and a little extra. I bought what I needed and some simple clothes at a…thrift store?”
“Yeah, that’s what they’re called.” I nodded as I gave her my eyes for the first time since she’d walked into my room.
My heart sank. I was sad and angry all at once. There were too many things stuffing themselves into the angry category for me to try and fight the rising feeling. I realized she didn’t need my fury right then, hell, maybe she didn’t even need my pity, but it was hard not to grip on tight to all those emotions as I took her in.
For a blink, I was glad Chris offered his help. I knew once we got to his house he would not only know what to do, but how to put Ingram at ease. This couldn’t have been easy for her. And I wasn’t just talking about being seventeen and pregnant.
Only, I didn’t have the first fucking idea how to explain all of this to him. Or to anyone, really.
“How’d you even find this place?” I asked.
I knew Grandma had an idea of where I was. I kept in touch with her, I even called her once a month at least. But it wasn’t like we handed out this address to just anyone. Sure, in town we were known pretty well, and if you asked the right people, they’d point you in the right direction, but I needed her to connect the dots for me, nonetheless. Maybe part of me didn’t trust her. That was a shit thing to say about your own blood family. The only people I trusted were my brothers—the men that stood beside me, some of them had even fought beside me, through all the shit we came up against.
“I took a bus here. At the place where the bus dropped me off, I asked the man behind the glass if he could tell me how to find where the Steel Paragons Motorcycle Club resides. He looked at me funny but eventually, he told me and when I clearly looked lost he said he would get me a…something foreign sounding. Anyway, it was a car to take me here. Well, to the place out front. The bar? The driver asked for money, so I gave him the last of what I had and ran inside the…bar.”
The look on her face would have been comical if it were any other situation.
“The sinful looking man that told you I was here asked me if I was lost. Then I told him I was looking for my brother. After a moment of explaining what I remembered you looked like, he walked me back to this place.”
A heavy sigh escaped my lips. There was a headache looming on the outskirts of my head. None of what she’d said, or how she’d said it, surprised me. I knew what it was to see the world through sheltered eyes once. I hadn’t forgotten it. The thing that wasn’t lost on me, was that I happened to be the same age as she was when I’d thrust myself into the real world. To be honest, everything that she’d done to get here was really fucking brave considering.
“Come here, kid,” I said as I moved to pull her into a tight hug. While it was strained at best, it was something. A little thing I knew she needed right then.
“I missed you,” she said as she wrapped her arms around my middle. “I was wrong, I think. And I am truly sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Let’s just get this figured out, okay?”
She nodded and tried to cover a small sniffle as she eased herself out of my embrace.
“The car is up at the garage. You stay here and I’ll drive it back so you don’t have to walk.”
“No,” she said timidly. “I will come with you. Have you been gone so long that you have forgotten? I am used to being on my feet.”
“Yeah, fine,” I mumbled as I took the small bag out of her hands and headed for the door.
Half the ride to the beach was quiet. Ingram didn’t miss the opportunity to take everything in. No, she hadn’t been living under a rock most of her life, but it was pretty damn close to it.
“This man, the one that offered his house, is he nice?” she asked, her eyes still looking out of the window watching the scenery go by. “He has kind eyes.”
My mind clogged and I couldn’t answer. If I did, it would have meant that I’d have to think about the guy that confused me on so many levels lately.
“Kynaston?”
“Ky,” I practically grunted, then cleared my throat. I wasn’t mad at her, exactly, and I knew she needed things to go as easily as possible right now. “Everyone here calls me Ky.”
“Ky,” she said and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her eyes look up to the heavens as she tested it out in her brain. I knew her well enough to know what she was doing, repeating it over and over so she would remember it right, even though it was something as simple as shortening my name to the first syllable. “Can I be Ing, then? No, that sounds strange. I do not think I like that at all.”
I chuckled at her as I pulled the car into the driveway and parked beside the older model Accord. I was surprised the damn thing was still going. I knew Chris had enough money to get a new car—not that he boasted about it—but for some reason, he kept the old thing.
I cut the engine and slid the key out of the ignition before I turned to Ingram.
“You can be whoever you want to be.” I held a tender sincerity in my tone. It was a lot for her to think about and I knew it. So, instead of sitting there, letting her get lost in so many possibilities, I opened the door and stepped out.
“Wow, this place is…” Her voice trailed off as words escaped her.
The house was impressive enough. It wasn’t huge, but it was a cute, little beachfront house with a cozy wraparound porch. The light blue and white paint on the outside had a nice light and airy feel to it. Very beachy, for lack of a better word. But I had a feeling it was the smell of the salt in the air, the stickiness of the humidity that seemed to press down in a way that threatened to cave in your chest, and the distant sound of crashing waves that caused her reaction.
“Can I level with you?” she asked and I halted in my steps at her words.
“Level with me?”
“Yes, that is a saying, right?” Her shoulders went up to her ears before they dropped heavily back in place.
“Where did you—never mind. What?”
“I know more than you probably think I do,” she said looking at me and there was suddenly something more soulful in her eyes. “I mean, knowing and actually seeing—experiencing, are very different. I am starting to learn that, but I do understand more than I am supposed to.”
That was the first time I’d heard her talk where she didn’t sound completely like a brainwashed robot. It did something to me on the inside and I couldn’t tell what the feeling was. My mouth parted like I wanted to say something but nothing came out.
The front door opened, saving me from what was going on with my sister. Only it wasn’t much help. Chris stood there on the front porch, his smile and stance very welcoming. I kept my sigh buried deep down. This wasn’t going to be easy and I knew the moment I stepped foot in that house that I was going to feel like I’d rather be rolling around on a bed of nails and hot embers.
“This all you have?” Chris said as he reached out to grab the bag that held Ingram’s things. His fingers brushed mine and I released the bag with a small flinch. I prayed that he didn’t notice but as his lips twisted into a half-frown, I knew that he had.
“Yeah, that’s all that Ingram brought. I just grabbed a few things to hold me over until…”
Until what? I figured out all the fucked up shit that was going on not only around me, but in my head as well?
“Ky.” His voice was soft as he almost breathed out my name on a sigh. “Just stay. Don’t worry about finding a place for you two right now. You need to focus on Ingram. Let me…just help out by giving you a place where you can do that. Okay?”
He was too sweet for his own good. Even if I wanted to hate him, there was no way that I could. Not this guy. Not ever.
“Thank you, Chris,” I said as I moved my gaze to meet his. We held it longer than a beat but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. Instead, I felt warm, safe.
“Right,” he said as he cleared his throat and took a step back. “Let me show you the rooms. Ingram, I’m Chris, by the way. Welcome to the beach house. The view isn’t that great from the bedrooms, but it’s killer from the living room. And even better when you’re sitting at the table eating breakfast. Nothing like waking up to a perfect view of the ocean.”
He winked at Ingram and she smiled wide. Instantly, he set her at ease and I was fucking grateful.
The spare bedrooms that would be ours were right next to one another. There was a bathroom at the end of the hall that we would share, but I didn’t think either of us minded.
Chris was right, the view from the bedrooms was shit. But the rest of the house was jaw-dropping. The living room, dining room, and kitchen were all one big open area with sporadic beams for support. The back of the house and half the sides were lined with windows.
The house felt like him. As I took a look around, I honestly couldn’t imagine Chris any place else.
“The entire upstairs is my room,” he said, finishing the tour and pointing to the stairs that were just behind the kitchen. “I don’t have a door, so I would give a shout before you come up.”
Ingram let out a loud, nervous laugh and I fought back a smile.
“Yes, I can imagine that might make for an awkward situation,” Ingram said smiling wide.
“I was just about to make some dinner. Chicken tacos sound good to you?” Chris asked Ingram and it was almost like I wasn’t there. Not like I cared, I wasn’t picky when it came to food.
“I have never had a taco,” Ingram stated and I had to hide my cringe. “But I would love to try one.”
Chris nodded as his eyes slid over to meet mine. It was clear there was a shit load of explaining to do, but I didn’t want to get into it right then. I knew it would come out eventually. Not only did I not want to dredge up my past and put things out there that I’d tried for a decade to leave behind, I didn’t want to make Ingram feel uncomfortable either.
Sensing this, Chris move the conversation along, taking her arm gently and leading her to the stools on the opposite side of the wide granite island from where the stove was. Ingram offered to help but Chris waved her off. I could tell she was tired, though she’d never voice it.
Dinner was out of this world amazing. Chris had both flour and hard corn shells. He loaded them up with chicken, lettuce, tomatoes, cilantro, and avocados. Then he topped it off with homemade tomatillo salsa. Ingram ate as many tacos as I did, declaring that she was a huge fan and wanted them again tomorrow night.
Something about the calmness that washed over the room felt like the thing I’d been missing for a long time. I didn’t dare question it or try to explain it. I didn’t even want to think about it. So, I sat there in a happy daze as I listened to Chris and Ingram talk about the small stuff.