CHAPTER THREE
Chris
I headed to the clubhouse after I finished up my shift. I usually ended up there most nights, even if it was just a quick drop in. I may not have been in the club, but a lot of those guys I considered friends.
“Hey, Chris,” Brand called out, catching me as I was crossing the lot to the clubhouse.
“Yeah, man,” I said as I stepped up between the bright yellow muscle car that Ky had been working on for a while and Cami’s sweet Charger.
I did my best to ignore Ky standing off to the side. It wasn’t that I wanted to or was trying to be a jerk because I wasn’t really that kind of guy. I was just going off of the vibe I’d been receiving from him lately. So I crossed my arms over my chest and tried my hardest to relax the tension in my face. Brand shot me a look and I knew he could tell something was off as he explained that they were taking the cars out to the strip.
I’d been there a few times. Ky liked to take his rebuilds out to the strip to test them out, especially the classic racing ones.
“Come with us,” Brand said. “Ride with Ky.” Then he ducked into Cami’s car.
I stood there, taking in the way Ky’s eyes avoided mine and the way his jaw ticked. It was clear he wasn’t thrilled about the idea and that was when I should have made some excuse about having something to do. Cami’s car reversed slowly so as not to run over me, or so I hoped, and then Brand was barking out of her opened window for me to get in the car. Feeling like I didn’t really have much of a choice, I jumped and then made my way to the passenger’s side of Ky’s car.
I all but slammed the door as I dropped down into the leather bucket seat. Ky took a long moment before he followed suit. After typing something on his phone, which I assumed was a text, he cranked the car up with much more aggravation than was necessary. Then he took off like the devil was chasing him.
To say that he’d been distant the last couple of months would have been spot on.
Ky and Brand were close because Brand had spent some time down in the South Carolina chapter a few years ago. That was where Ky was originally from. It seemed like their friendship grew once they both made the move down here. Every time I came for a visit, Ky was right there hanging out with Brand and me. Which I didn’t mind at all because I actually really liked the guy. He was chill and easy to talk to. He had a darkness to him that he did his best to keep hidden, which meant he joked and laughed a lot in an attempt to cover it. And man, I wouldn’t even try to deny that the world lit up when he laughed. I think it was because I could tell that in his quiet moments, he had a lot weighing on his shoulders.
I didn’t have the first clue as to what had changed, but something had. He no longer came with Brand down to the beach. Or tagged along when we went out to eat. Matter of fact, if I weren’t hanging out at the clubhouse or the bar, I didn’t see or hear from him at all. And even then, he rarely looked at me.
So, yeah, I’d suspected something was going on with him for a while now, but damn, if it wasn’t clear right that minute that I was part of that something. I had no clue what I’d done to even warrant such disdain.
And I’d had enough.
“The fuck is going on with you?” I all but barked. I had found myself fresh out of pleasantries at this point.
“Nothing,” he grunted like a damn caveman and his eyes didn’t so much as glance over at me.
Ky may have been cute as sin and I didn’t mind getting an eyeful, but not even that was worth putting up with him treating me like dirt.
“I don’t get it,” I went on, not caring that his grip was tightening around the steering wheel an unhealthy amount. Or that his strong jaw was flexing. Or that his muscles were too tight and corded, straining against his skin. “You used to want to hang out. You used to laugh. Now every time I see you, you get this scowl on your face. I thought that maybe you had something going on because you were distant with Brand as well, but now that he’s with Cami, you seem all chummy with him again. I’ve been scratching my head on what it is that I have done, but I’m drawing a blank. So maybe you want to help me out with that? Because I can’t understand for the life of me, why you were fine with me and just like that, you’re not.”
With a hard jerk, he shifted the gearshift and hit the gas.
“I just have some shit I’m dealing with. Not your problem to worry about.”
He still hadn’t looked at me and we were going too fast at this point and I was starting to get a little worried.
“We’re friends, Ky, or at least I thought so. Do you know what that means? It fucking means that if you have a problem then I’m here for you. For whatever you might need. You want to talk about it, I’m your guy. You just need someone to drink beer with you and watch bad eighties movies, I have a sixty inch TV at the house and a fridge full of whatever you like. But don’t shut me out, please.”
The last part came out soft and maybe a little desperate.
“Talk to me,” I all but whispered and resided the urge to lay a comforting hand on his arm.
The car came to a screeching halt, causing my body to jerk forward against the seatbelt.
He sat there for a long minute, his hands still clenched tightly around the steering wheel, his chest heaving with choppy, angry breaths.
“I can’t,” he growled as he tore open the door and fled the suffocating air in the car. The door slammed shut behind him and I watched as his booted feet pounded the pavement so hard I would have sworn he was putting cracks in it.
It was no surprise that with how fast he’d been driving that we made it to the strip in no time.
I looked around and it seemed we were the first ones there. I crawled out of the car. With my back to Ky, I leaned against the passenger’s side door and waited for someone to come and rescue me from this feeling of anger and loneliness that had overtaken me in the last ten minutes.
I stayed there rooted in place, not so much as turning my head to look in Ky’s direction. I didn’t know what the hell he was doing and I almost didn’t care. I say almost because I couldn’t help but see that something was going on with him, and considering I thought of him as a good friend, I wanted to help. But he wasn’t letting me in. I knew Ky. I’d dealt with plenty of guys like him. The kind that kept their shit locked down tight. The ones that carried their burdens like a weighted blanket slung over their shoulder. Yes, I knew all about those types. The thing was, I wasn’t sure if I had it in me to go through it again. The whole getting close to someone only to have them keep resurrecting buildings around them in order to keep you and everyone else out. And just when you think you’ve found your way through the maze of walls, another one goes up right in front of you. Yeah, I hated to say it, but fuck all of that. It was exhausting and I didn’t need other people’s heaviness dragging me down if they just wanted to keep holding onto it.
Cami’s car rolled up beside Ky’s car and stopped. I did my best to school my expression but I was just one of those people that weren’t very good at hiding my emotions. I liked to talk things out. I was me, the happy and not so happy parts, and that was what you got whether you wanted it or not. And I wasn’t about to change because I rather liked the me that I was.
“You good?” Brand asked as he walked up beside me.
“Yeah, fine,” I practically grunted.
Damn, I’d been hanging around the gruff MC boys too long, I was starting to sound like them. I wasn’t a grunter, not even a little.
“What’s going on?” Brand pressed, and I wasn’t about to go into it, not here. I saw the elation on Cami’s face about coming out here and I didn’t want to dampen that for her, not even a little. With all the shit her and her sister had gone through lately she needed some good, happy moments. She was sweet and awesome and I found myself loving her like a little sister.
“Ky’s checking to make sure it’s clear,” I gave Brand some bullshit answer and mentally crossed my fingers that it would work. I knew it wouldn’t, but lucky for me, a bunch of loud, rumbling bikes came riding up and halted whatever Brand was going to say.
Charming, Mouse, Lake, and Tripp walked up and we chatted for a bit while Mr. Grumpy-pants got himself together. When Ky did finally walk over, Brand made a point to ask him if it was all clear and I might have winced, hoping that Ky could just play it off. I think he managed to, or Brand just decided to drop it for now.
“Chris you ride with Ky,” Brand called then let me know he was going with Cami.
“No, I think I’ve had enough of Ky’s speed for one night. Lake, you’re up.” I backed away from the car and made my way off to the side.
We all knew how this was going to go, but we still cheered on Cami as hard as we could. It was cute how she tried to tuck her apprehensions away and go for it. Though I was surprised she did punch it as fast as she did. They went back and forth a few times then it seemed like Cami and Brand were ready to get back to the compound. Yep, two guesses as to what they were going to be up to for the rest of the night.
I was happy for him. God knew, I loved that guy. He was like my damn long lost twin or something. I knew it was the right decision to move down here. It wasn’t that I was chasing him, though I could admit he did have a lot to do with the choice of location. The beach was a close second. And since I didn’t need to worry about money, the beachfront house was the perfect tranquility to the other side of my life, the one where I hung around these guys all the time.
I loved the MC boys, but they liked to party hard all the damn time. I think there were a few that didn’t even stop. Something was always going on at the compound or at the bar. I’d been around enough to know that some of them rarely slept.
I was used to the club life. I grew up in a small town where one-third of the population belonged to the head chapter of the Steel Paragons, or so it felt like. I worked at a bar that the vice president owned since I had turned twenty-one. I’d been around them for celebrations and through some of the harder times. And yes, I’d even slept with one of them. A relationship I’d never be able to define and one that I could never copy. And I wouldn’t want to.
So with Brand and Cami giving each other that look that said they couldn’t wait to tear each other’s clothes off, I had no choice but to ride back to the compound with Ky.
The only saving grace was that he drove fast enough to get us back in the blink of an eye. The ride may have been short but it was filled with a thick, heavy, silent tension. As soon as the car was in park, I hopped out and started to make my way back to the bar where my car was parked.
“Chris,” Ky called out and I could hear the strain in his voice.
I turned to face him and waited. His mouth opened but nothing came out. With a twinge of sadness in my heart, I decided that I had to let this whole thing go. I had to let the friendship that I had with Ky go.
“It’s fine,” I said, an odd, eerie edge to my tone. “Just don’t worry about it, Ky. I’ll see you around.” Then I turned and headed on my way without so much as a look back.
I didn’t need that shit and I wasn’t going to allow myself to get beat down by someone that obviously didn’t care.