CHAPTER TWELVE
Holly
Oh god, what now? After leaving Thorn’s office, I made a beeline for my hotel. Sure, Kat had kicked me out, but that was no problem. With the money I’d earned working for Elite Air, there was plenty in my bank account. So I’d headed for the city immediately, intent on confronting Thorn.
It was easier that I’d imagined. Gravity Holdings is a famous corporation, occupying a huge skyscraper on Sixth Avenue. So I’d slipped into the building, bypassing security and pressing the button for the top floor. After all, where else would the CEO sit? Thorn had to rule the roost from the most expensive floor of the most expensive building.
But that’s when things took a left turn. Because Mr. Evans was exactly as I’d remembered. Dark, handsome and imposing, his office was an aerie in the sky with a breathtaking view of the New York skyline. All my previous emotions came flooding back then. Adoration for this man. Love welling in my heart. And sadly, the need to be in his arms again, safe and sound within that muscular circle.
But Thorn Evans always gets the best of you. Because as I’d blurted my apology, his expression remained neutral and curiously still. After I was done, the big man had nodded, uttering a simple, “I know.”
That caught me by surprise. What in the world? The CEO knew that I wasn’t complicit in this farce? He realized that this whole time, I’d been used as a pawn by another billionaire, doing someone else’s bidding without realizing the true nature of those videoconference chats?
But the flicker in Mr. Evans’s eyes told me everything. It showed that these revelations were nothing new to him, and that he’d known the entire time that I was just one small player in this larger game of manipulation, with no idea of the ramifications.
Unfortunately, that’s what hurt the most. The alpha had known the entire time that I wasn’t responsible. That I’d never tried to hurt him or his business. That I was innocent in every respect, unaware of the evil machinations going on. So why had Thorn thrown me off of the plane? Even more, why had he forced me to suffer these past three months, clueless while trying to put together the puzzle pieces myself?
And that’s why I can’t forgive him. Thorn knew. The alpha knew the whole time that I’d been used and desperately hurt, undeserving of this pain. Yet he did nothing, refusing to lift a finger. I meant that little to him, and the realization broke my heart, shattering it into tiny shards that sliced into my flesh from the insides.
Reeling with pain, I stepped into my hotel room, setting my bag down on the ground. My limbs were limp and exhausted, my mind a cloudy mess once again. Yes, I’d gone to Gravity Holdings to clear things up, but it’d only made things worse. I’d hoped to gain clarity and unfortunately, the monster in the room was only too obvious now. Because the realization that the dark man felt nothing for me or my well-being tore me to shreds, pain ripping through my soul.
Suddenly, a knock came on the door.
I didn’t bother to answer. It was probably housekeeping here to turn down the beds. My limp body was still on the mattress, unable to think clearly.
And evidently, the daze had made me careless because the door was unlocked. In my fuzzy state, I hadn’t secured the slab of wood, much less shut it all the way. So like out of a nightmare, Thorn Evans himself materialized in my small hotel room, that big frame taking up all available space between the bed and TV console.
“Oh,” was all I could manage, gazing at him with defeat. Unbidden, my heart leaped as tears sprang to my eyes. Why was this happening? I shouldn’t have felt anything. Clearly, this man didn’t care about me, so why was I crying now? Angrily, I wiped at the wet tracks.
But Thorn is fast. He knelt beside the bed, gripping my palm in his.
“Holly,” that deep voice sounded. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry for what’s happened.”
Angrily, I ripped my fist away.
“Oh really?” came my voice, dripping with sarcasm. “For which part? Kicking me off the plane, dressed in nothing but a robe? Accusing me of being a spy for your rival? Or even worse, saying nothing about the situation, despite knowing that I was innocent?”
The last sentence came out in practically a scream, but I didn’t care. Because the hurt and anguish were animals in my chest, struggling to get out. It felt good to finally release the demons, giving voice to the agony within.
Thorn’s expression was remorseful.
“I’m sorry,” that bass voice spoke again, imbued with regret. “I should have found you sooner.”
“Oh really,” I spoke. “You think? You knew I was innocent, but you let me suffer. Why, Thorn, why?”
His hands gripped mine reflexively, so hard that my fingers ached. But I wouldn’t drop his gaze, and those azure eyes went from sky blue to a deep midnight, reflecting the turmoil within.
“You mean more to me that I realized,” he said slowly. “And it took me a while to realize it.”
“Stop speaking in riddles,” I snapped. “I’m sick and tired of it. Just spit it out. Nothing can be worse than what you’ve already done.”
Pain flashed in his eyes again, but the big man didn’t let go. Instead, he turned to me, those perfectly sculpted lips drawn.
“I’m sorry, Holly,” he rumbled, the slightest hint of a tremor lacing those words. “I should have done better. I should have gotten on my feet the moment I realized you weren’t complicit. I should have beat Nick Ryver over the head with his cane, and leapt to your defense.”
My brown eyes stared at him, narrowing into slits.
“Shoulda woulda coulda,” came my harsh rasp. “It’s so easy for you to say now, after the damage has been done.”
Mr. Evans gripped my hands tighter in his, squeezing so hard that my knuckles almost cracked.
“I know, sweetheart,” he said urgently. “I know, and I was wrong.”
My eyes took in our interlaced hands.
“Do you know what Monday morning quarterbacking is?” came my tired voice. “Ever heard of the expression?”
Evidently, Thorn knew exactly what it meant because he gripped my hands in a vise then, refusing to let go. A deep tremor shook that chest, those blue eyes searing my form.
“I know what you think,” he ground out roughly. “But you have to believe that this was new to me.”
“Oh really,” I cut in. “So after twenty years at the helm of a multi-billion dollar company, corporate espionate is new? This has never happened before?”
The alpha let out an impatient grunt.
“No, that’s not what I mean, and you know it,” he insisted. “What I mean is that these feelings,” he choked. “That’s what got me. I’ve never felt them before and you have to believe me, Holly. They reached out like tentacles and wrapped around my neck, choking me of air. It was impossible to think straight.”
My heart leapt hearing the words. Just a small leap, nothing too hopeful. So I made myself look into those blue eyes, and talk straight.
“What feelings?” were my words. “What are you talking about?”
The big man swallowed then, trying to get the words out.
“You have to understand this is hard for me,” he growled, that massive chest moving up and down gulping air. “I’ve never been in this position before.”
This time, I was silent, merely waiting for his next move.
“Sweetheart,” he rasped again, taking a deep breath. “This. Me, here, kneeling in front of you. Me, begging you for a second chance, trying to explain myself. This never happens to Thorn Evans. It’s a whole new ballgame, and I’m trying to play as best as I can.”
He paused a moment, waiting for an answer, but I gave no quarter. After three months of suffering, I wasn’t letting Mr. Evans off the hook so easily. Expectantly, my eyes met his, devoid of emotion.
But the billionaire didn’t get to where he is in life by giving up easy. So even in the face of my non-response, the alpha took another deep breath, centering himself before that strong jaw hardened.
“What I mean to say,” he managed between ground teeth, “is that I love you Holly Nelson. I’ve never felt this for any woman before, so I got caught up in a whirlwind of confusion and stupid shit. I should have gone to you immediately. I should have found you, and made you hear these words. Because that spying shit is lame, and Nick Ryver didn’t get anything important. The damage was contained after a day, but I made it seem like something bigger because ….”
“Because what, Thorn?” I prompted, my gaze direct. “What made you wait so long?”
“Because I love you,” he managed, almost spitting the words this time. “You can be a hard woman to love, you know that?”
This time, it was me who gave a sharp bark.
“That’s rich, coming from a billionaire who has everything at his disposal. You could have found me at any time. I was wilting away in a dreary apartment in Queens, wondering why you never reached out. And it was because of love? Your love for me made you stop and hesitate? Do you know how backwards that sounds? How absolutely awful?”
Thorn had the grace to look ashamed.
“I know,” he ground out roughly. “And I want to make it up to you. We’ll take a trip to Dubai or Beijing. It’ll be fun, I can show you the world. Let me make it up to you,” his voice commanded now, those eyes fierce and unrelenting. “Give me another chance Holly.”
And I was torn inside. Because on the one hand, this man had caused me so much suffering. Three months of my life had been spent in the depths of Hell, my wounds bleeding like rivers each day. And the reason he gave was so bizarre too. Allegedly, he loved me so much that stopped him from reaching out. What in the world? Why would you behave like that? Wouldn’t you want to make things right when Cupid’s arrow pierces your heart?
But Mr. Evans seized my shoulders then, those big hands warm and firm on my frame.
“Holly,” he said roughly. “You have to believe me. Don’t you remember the first time you were in love? How amazing it was, but also confusing? Now imagine that but ten times stronger. That’s what happened to me. I’m a forty-five year old bachelor,” he said, those blue eyes intense. “And I’ve never been in love before, so suddenly being swept off my feet was something new. It was like a hurricane hit with gale force winds when previously, my emotional life had been nothing but calm, peaceful days. That’s what you do to me,” he said, voice heavy with emotion. “That’s how much I love you, pretty girl, and you’ve got to believe me.”
Something in my heart cracked then. Because I did remember my first time in love, and it’d been confusing. Magical, of course, but also a whirlwind of emotions, headstrong impulses, and most importantly, a disconnect between my thoughts and actions. Because I’d had a huge crush on Mickey Miller, the star quarterback of our high school football team. Unfortunately, Mickey Miller had no idea who I was.
But while inside, I was mooning and swanning at the thought of being with Mickey, on the outside, I played it cool. To my friends, Mickey was just another dumb jock, someone who I’d never be interested in. On the inside, I laid awake nights, dreaming of a rosy future with the star quarterback as my husband.
So I understood what Thorn was saying. Sometimes what we present to the world is different from our internal emotions, and for the billionaire, it’d been ten times worse. I swept in out of nowhere, a curvy flight attendant who was supposed to be nothing but a plaything, taking him by surprise.
And he didn’t know what to do afterwards. The alpha was knocked back onto his feet, choking and gasping, unsure what to do. So he did nothing, leaving the situation as is until I walked back through the door once again.
But that’s the thing. What if I hadn’t reappeared? Would we have remained estranged, wondering about each other until the end of our days? Or would we have found our way back to one another somehow? I had to know.
“Thorn,” I said, taking a deep breath. “What would have done if I didn’t come to your office today?” The question was slow as I chose my words carefully. “Would you have moved on with your life? Forced yourself to forget me, and everything we had? Or would you have come to find me?”
The billionaire was still for a moment, his eyes intense.
“It’s funny you should ask,” he rasped harshly. “Because I was going to find you. You have to believe that.”
I nodded once, slowly.
“I want to believe it. I desperately do,” came my voice with a tremor. “But I’m not sure if I can,” was the painful admission. “You let me suffer for three months and did nothing about it. So how can I put my faith in you now?”
My heart was breaking even as the words erupted from my mouth. But it was true. How could I put my life in the hands of this man who’d let me down? How could I be so naïve, when he’d hurt me so badly before? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. And I couldn’t be so idiotic again, could I?
But the billionaire never gives up. Looking deep into my eyes, he reached into his suit pocket and emerged with his fist closed.
“Sweetheart,” that voice rasped. “You have to believe me because I got this with every intention of finding you once more,” the alpha spoke. “This bauble had your name on it the moment I saw it in the store window. Will you, Holly? Will you put me out of my misery and make me the happiest man alive?”
And the air left my lungs then, eyes going wide. Because in his hand was a velvet box. Kneeling by my side, the billionaire popped the clasp, revealing a beautiful diamond within. The gem sparkled and shone, making me catch my breath.
“Is that?” I gasped. “Is that really …?”
Thorn nodded once, eyes searing mine.
“It is sweetheart. Do you believe me now when I say I was going to find you? Do you see how I meant every word of what I said? You’re mine,” he spoke fiercely. “There’s no one else but you, Holly Nelson, and I have every intention of making you mine forever more.”
I gasped again, cheeks flushing brightly. Because suddenly, his sentences took on new meaning. This man didn’t just love me. He loved me so much that he wanted to spend all of his days in my company going forwards. Thorn Evans had had every intention of finding me once again and making me his wife to boot.
With a small cry, I threw myself against his chest.
“Yes, Thorn. Yes, yes, yes, I do.”
Those strong arms were around me in a moment, holding my curvy form tight.
“Forever,” he growled against my lips, our breaths mingling. “Forever, you hear?”
I pulled away for a moment, tears in my eyes.
“Yes, forever,” I whispered. “But Thorn, I have something to tell you too.” And with a slow movement, I pulled one of his hands to my belly where a slight swell was developing. It was tiny still, just a small addition to my poochy stomach. But Thorn’s eyes went wide, his hand rubbing my tummy as if for good luck.
“Is this what I think it is?” the alpha breathed, as if hardly daring to believe his good luck. “Are you, Holly? With my child?”
I nodded then, tears welling in my eyes.
“Yes Thorn. When I left you, I was pregnant already although I didn’t know it,” came my broken voice. “But he’s good now. He’s got his mom and his dad, and we’ll be a family together. Always,” I whispered, lifting my lips for a kiss.
The billionaire’s mouth crashed down on mine, commanding, possessive, and oh so masculine.
“Always,” he ground out, seizing my heart with dominant authority, wrapping those muscular arms around my frame. “Always sweetheart. You’re mine now, Holly Nelson. And I will love you and this child until the end of my days.”
With that, I let myself truly go for the first time in months. Because when I discovered my pregnancy, shock had overtaken my frame. Unable to move, I’d stared at my reflection in the mirror, mouth dropping open. Holy cow, a pregnancy with the billionaire’s child? No, it couldn’t be, seeing that he’d just kicked me out of his life.
But the drugstore test told another story. Two blue stripes meant I was with child for sure, and once the shock passed, elation took its place. Because I loved Thorn Evans, even if he felt nothing for me. This child had been conceived in passion, and my emotions would have to carry us even if they weren’t returned.
So I promised to do my best for my little boy, no matter what happened between me and his dad. And now, my dreams have been answered to the millionth degree. Things have worked out, despite the inauspicious start. Initially, there were the accusations of spying, forcing me from his life into months of pure agony. But sure enough, those accusations fell by the wayside, devoid of any truth whatsoever. Even more, Thorn’s seen the error of his ways, and he’s come out of this a better man. One who wants to do his best for me, by me, and for our child as well. And what else could a woman ask for? After all, we started out playing spy games. But in the end … there’s no game that trumps the game of love.