CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Lacey
I was cold. Shivering.
The room they had me in felt like it was all glass, one wall completely mirrored. But I couldn't see anyone. Machines beeped next to a folded white towel with electrodes on it. I knew they were going to put them on me. They said the electricity would rip through my body, burning my brain, setting things on fire.
That sounded bad.
But it was supposed to make me feel better afterwards, to restore my judgment and clear things up. So I sat and waited for the doctor to return.
Shivering, my teeth chattered.
Goosebumps rose on my arms and thighs.
Where was everyone? Was there radiation in here, so it wasn’t safe for others to come in?
Suddenly, there was a rattling noise and raised voices sounded through one of the glass walls.
"You can't go in there!" one of the male nurses shouted, burly and huge. I hated Lester. Sometimes he threw my food on the floor, just to see me pick it up before eating. Isn’t that cruel and unusual? Can guards do that?
But the ruckus kept going.
“Get the fuck away,” came a low rumble. “Get the fuck away.”
Who--?
I gasped in shock when Jake burst inside, the heavy metal door clanking.
He rushed up to my bedside, big body looming and dominant, reassuring as well. Was I dreaming? Ever since I got to Safe Haven, they’ve pumped me full of drugs and sometimes I don’t know if I’m awake or asleep.
"Lacey, baby,” he spoke again, voice urgent. “We're going to get you out of here."
“Jake?” came my incoherent mumble. My voice sounded a million miles away. “Jake, what are you doing?”
His expression was grim.
"Getting you gone," the big man rumbled.
And just like that, I was in his arms. The diodes were stripped off my limbs, the IV wrenched out of my arm.
“Jake,” came my feeble protest. “It’s supposed to be good for me.”
His face was a mask of rage.
“Like hell this is good for you,” came that murderous tone again. “Come on honey, we’re leaving.”
Despite his outward aggression, the alpha’s hands were gentle. Cradling me close to his chest, he burst outside to the shocked stare of the medical team.
“Get out of my way,” was his rabid grunt. “Do not fucking fuck with me if you want to live.”
And just like that, I was out of Safe Haven.
We walked for what felt like forever. My head was woozy from all the drugs, but as sunlight bathed my skin, sanity began to return. How long had it been since I saw daylight? They kept me indoors, in a cell, arguing that I needed to be “safe from myself.” Whatever that meant.
And soon we were in his car, the smell of rich leather filling my nostrils, head limp against the cushioned headrest.
But as the big man strapped the seatbelt around my form, I struggled to sit up straight.
"Where's your wedding ring?" came my voice in a gargle. Uck, my throat felt cottony and soft, filled with stuffing.
Jake ignored me, eyes laser focused.
But I wouldn’t let him get away with it this time. Taking a deep breath, I forced him to answer.
“Where’s. Your. Wedding. Band,” I managed slowly, enunciating each word carefully. “Why aren’t you wearing one?”
And the alpha swung to look at me, blue eyes brilliant. His gaze was filled with emotions, a swirl that I couldn’t read. But a large fist grabbed my chin, making sure I couldn’t look away then.
“I don’t have one,” came the words. “We never got married.”
I plunked back into the seat, stunned, blinking from the shock. They never got married? He and Amanda never tied the knot? Heart racing, I tried to breathe. This was beyond my wildest imagination because at no point, had Jake ever hinted that he’d leave my mom. There’d been the bachelor party, the engagement lunch, and the bridal shower. He could have cut it off at any time, but didn’t. So why now?
The thoughts were overwhelming, like a maelstrom, draining my limbs of all energy.
Because I should have been ecstatic, jumping for joy. But instead, I just felt worn-out.
If I could only rest my eyes for a minute ....
"Lacey. Lacey, honey. Wake up."
I opened my eyes to see Jake hovering over me. We weren't in the car anymore. Where? I looked around frantically. Was I back at the institution? Were they going to lock me up again? Immediately, my arms and legs flailed, intent on getting away.
But the billionaire was there in a moment, calming my movements.
"It's okay, princess,” came that deep voice. “You’re safe now. You’ll never need to worry again.”
His voice was like a balm to my soul, soothing and warm, reassuring like honey. The panic ebbed and I twisted my head to take in our surroundings. We were in a giant bedroom, an elegantly done suite with bold masculine furniture, a flat-screen TV bolted to the wall, and floor to ceiling windows overlooking Manhattan.
“Oh,” came my whisper. “I see.”
Because we had to be in his bedroom. No one else could afford such luxury, with views overlooking Central Park.
But Jake wasn’t done yet. He knelt by the bed, blue eyes intense.
"Princess,” the words were choked yet furious, like his chest hurt. "Who did this to you? Who put you there? Was it your mother?"
Amanda? Why would she do something like that? My mom didn't care two cents. I shook my head slowly, taking a deep breath.
"No, Jake. I did this. I checked myself in."
He glared at me, stunned.
“But why?” the words were an urgent growl. “Why would you? You’re not insane, honey. Yeah, we’re a little crazy together, but you’re not fucking insane. Why would you do that to yourself?”
And agony broke my heart then, the pain searing through my soul.
“Jake,” I looked down, unable to meet those piercing eyes. “Jake … I had to,” was all I could manage.
“But why?” he demanded again, grabbing my hand this time. “You’re not insane. Trust me, you’re not.”
I shook my head, miserable, looking off into the distance. Outside was so beautiful, the pure blue of the sky melding with the tops of green trees. I’d never take that for granted again, the sunshine and wind, the freedom to be who I wanted.
“I can’t explain,” came my low voice. “It’s too complicated.”
He leapt into movement then, that big body pacing back and forth, wearing a trail in the rug.
“You have to snap out of this,” came a desperate growl. “You can’t do this. You can’t do this to yourself, it’s destructive and harmful. Did you see those fuckers? Locking you up like an animal, pumping you full of drugs until you were confused as shit. I’m gonna bring that place down,” he raged, eyes furious and mouth pulled tight. “Those fuckers have seen their last days.”
My eyes dropped to my hands again, thin and pale, clasped on the coverlet.
“I know what they did was wrong,” were my soft words. “But you have to understand, when I got there, I was in a bad place.”
The big man was beside me in a second once more, staring into my eyes.
“But why?” that rough growl came once more, an edge of desperation in his voice. “Why would you do that? I know what happened between us was fucked up and all, but ….” His voice trailed off.
And I took a deep breath, looking out the window once more. How nice it must be to be a bird, flitting this way and that, the wind soaring beneath your wings. How nice it must be not to have a care in the world, instead of living a life filled with tangles and no good solutions.
And then I turned back to Jake, my big brown eyes holding no judgment, no anger.
“What happened between us was wrong,” I began slowly.
“And also right,” he cut in.
I paused, just absorbing the words.
“Yes, and also right,” came my acknowledgment. “But you have to understand. I’m not you,” came the words. “I’m eighteen and untouched. I’ve never had a boyfriend. To do what we did, it made me crazy.”
Jake grabbed my hands again, look urgent.
“You’re not crazy,” he insisted roughly. “You’re in love.”
Those words. Once upon a time, they would have made me so happy. But now I wasn’t sure what to feel. Because I’d dodged death by the slimmest of margins, almost losing my brain to a harsh zap of electricity.
But a brush with the grim reaper will make you see things with new eyes.
“Yes, I was in love,” were my soft words. “I am in love with you.”
And immediately, the billionaire was on me.
“I swear,” he breathed, brushing my hair aside, looking intently into my eyes. “I swear we’ll make it work honey. We’ll make this work, absolutely.”
But the thing is, I hadn’t heard the words from him in return. Despite giving my all, Jake was still too wrapped up in business deals, in trading connections for sex, in making sure things happened the way he wanted. He didn’t say I love you back.
And my heart broke then. Because the alpha’s a forty-five year old man who’s set in his ways. How could I change him? If my brush with death hadn’t done it, then what was going to make a difference? How could I make him see?
But Jake was still muttering a storm, swearing he was gonna fire everyone at Safe Haven, tear the place down brick by brick. From my perspective, Safe Haven was in the past. It would never be a part of my life again, and I didn’t care what happened to it.
Besides, there was the now. There was the incredible realization that although I loved Jake, he was too wrapped up in his alpha male ways to even appreciate it.
So I looked away once more, taking a deep breath. Sometimes life is bittersweet and you just have to roll with it. Because I adored this man with every ounce of my being, and in fact had even told him so. But he couldn’t process it, couldn’t sit back and think about what it meant, and be grateful for the gift he’d received.
So smiling once more, I turned towards the billionaire.
“Thank you,” were my quiet words.
The alpha was dumbfounded.
“For what?” he demanded. “Thank you for what?”
“Thank you for everything,” I said again, careful with the words. “For showing me everything. For taking me with you on this amazing adventure. It could have ended better, I agree, but I wouldn’t give it up for the world.”
And the dark man stared at me, completely mystified, jumping up and pacing around the bedroom again, long strides eating up the distance.
“I swear Lacey, those drugs have gotten to you,” he mumbled, more talking to himself than anything. “You’re not you yet. You’re not thinking straight. We’re gonna get this straightened out, we’re gonna be a real couple. I swear,” he turned, fixing me with those penetrating blue eyes. “When you’re healthy again, we’re gonna work this out.”
And I smiled back at him. The billionaire was so gorgeous, stalking up and down the room, planning this and that. And the agitation was new. Jake’s always calm and controlled no matter the situation, and this was the first time I’d seen him lose it, a worm under his skin. So I smiled again, sad but also ready to move on.
Because what could I do? I’d given my heart to this man, and yet he hadn’t given me his. Jake expected life be drama all the time, fighting while loving, and now saving me from the mental hospital. But the most important thing had happened just five minutes ago, in this bedroom, and he hadn’t noticed. I’d told him I loved him, and unfortunately, it didn’t register.
So I turned away once more, heart aching, as the alpha muttered angrily once more.
“I’m gonna make sure those doctors never practice again,” was his snarl. “Everyone there is gonna be out on their ass.”
My heart beat painfully even as my eyes filled with tears. Because yes, I’d given the best gift I had to give. My love. And unfortunately, my man didn’t even notice. How ironic, right? After all we’d been through, to be felled by this.
But sometimes life throws you curveballs, and my only choice was to move on … even if it broke my heart.