“Stop groping yourself, Jills.”

“I’m not. I’m adjusting my costume.”

“If you say so.”

I beached myself onto the couch and tried to ignore how frickin’ adorable she looked in her little witch dress with the black and orange striped tights. Who the hell felt like dressing sexier at five months than they did pre-pregnancy?

Lucky bitch.

She gave her boobs a squeeze. “Well, maybe I am a little….” She giggled.

“I already get enough watching Chase feel you up all the time, so knock it the fuck off.” Damn man couldn’t keep his hands off her.

“Hey, I earned it. They’re big and firm now. I bet I could even take top prize in a wet T-shirt contest.”

Jills shimmied her chest in front of me and I laughed. “Yeah, that’d go over real well with your husband.”

She danced around the room, adjusting the already perfect decorations. So now she had the spectacular tits to go with the hot legs, plus an abundance of energy that came from God knew where and a cute baby bump. She rocked pregnancy. Rocked. It. And she was worried that her body couldn’t handle it? High-risk, my fucking ass.

I was beyond thrilled for her. Honestly. She was right when she said she’d earned it. Every last drop. But that didn’t stop her from irritating the shit out of me.

“Jills, you know I love you to fucking pieces, but if you get any perkier, I’m going to start calling you Cassie.”

She flipped me off, then blew me a kiss before skipping into the kitchen. I put my hands over my own rounded belly. I was only a couple weeks ahead of her, but I might as well have been overdue. Ugh.

When she returned, she was carrying a huge assortment of candy, the purple stone in her ring clashing with the orange bowl. She gave away the large bars and king-sized packages every year, wouldn’t dream of gypping the kids with a measly fun-size.

I groaned when she set the bowl within my reach. “Shouldn’t you be giving away apples or toothbrushes or something?” Figured I couldn’t eat the shit anymore. Someone out there was having a huge laugh at my expense. Anything too sugary no longer agreed with me, made me sick as a dog. Once I’d discovered that I’d felt much better, but what the fuck?

“Oh stop complaining,” she said. “You’re not the only one suffering here. You know I can’t eat super spicy food without it bothering me. I’m dying for a triple order of fajitas.”

I rolled my eyes. “That’s all you’ve got? Please, Jills. I’ll see your food intolerance and raise you a two-ton Tessie who can barely roll herself out of bed in the morning.”

She put her hands on her hips. Too. Fucking. Adorable. “You would’ve been less cranky if you just would’ve gotten into the spirit and dressed up a little.”

“I am dressed up. I’m a heffalump.”

Jills shook her head and peeked out the blinds, too damn eager for the trick-or-treaters to start arriving. “I even offered to paint your belly as a jack-o’-lantern.”

“And you know how well that went over.”

Yeah, I was cranky, but I’d been living with Mrs. Pregnant America for the past week. That could beat an egomaniac into submission.

“What were you thinking saying it’d be an awesome idea to get knocked up together?”

“That was your idea, Perry.”

“Same thing.”

“No, it’s not.”

Geez, one of these days she’d learn. I shifted my ass over so it wouldn’t make permanent indents on her couch. I was jonesing for the entire contents of that bowl in front of me. I was irritable as fuck is what I was.

“If it’ll make you feel better,” she said, “you should see Candace. Her belly finally matches her lips. She looks like a two-story house.”

“When is she due?”

“Two days ago. Mike’s a wreck.”

“Damn doctors. What does he know? She’s probably still a week early.”

“Shoulder surgeon, remember? Not an obstetrician.”

“He should still know better.” But at least the asshat finally stepped up to the plate and became a man. He’d married Candace and appeared ready to have another son. Took him long enough.

“Oooh, I see the first group coming down the street.” She bounced up and down as she watched through the window, then snatched the bowl of candy and waited by the door.

“You’re supposed to make them work for it, Jills. Not hand deliver it on a gold-plated pillow.”

She waved me over. “You gotta see, Perry. It’s the whole cast from Wizard of Oz. So cute. Hurry up.”

“All right,” I mumbled. I could easily watch from the couch, but she’d be too disappointed if I didn’t at least get up for the initial batch of kids.

I stood with her at the door as they bounded up the front steps. “I make a better Dorothy,” I said and she elbowed me.

What? It was true. One year I dressed up as her and Stephen was the lion. We both looked sexy as fuck. I sighed. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

She swung open the glass door with a cheek-splitting smile. Didn’t even make them ring the bell.

“Trick-or-treat,” they all said in unison. Yeah, they were pretty damn cute. Most of them.

“Just look at you all. How wonderful.” Jills held out the bowl. “Pick anything you’d like.”

After digging his grubby hands through the bowl several times, the tinman asked, “Do you have any licorice?”

Shoving the bowl at me, she said, “Oh! I do. Hold on. Be right back.”

I shook my head, rolling my eyes. The shiny little fucker seemed a little ungrateful if you asked me. They were getting monster-sized candy shit, and it wasn’t good enough?

Jills returned, dropping a large package into his bag. To top it off, he didn’t even say thank you. When he turned to leave, I said, “Hey, Tinboy. What’s the magic word?” He stared at me blankly. He should have been the one without a brain. “It’s thank you.”

“Thank you,” he finally muttered. Jesus, it was like pulling teeth.

I shut the door and Jills stood glaring at me with her arms crossed. “Was that necessary? Just let them be. It’s Halloween.”

“That’s no excuse for shitty manners. You’re too damn nice.”

She placed the bowl on the table and began resticking peeling window decals. I’d just plopped back down on my usual spot when the front door pushed open, making me almost shoot to the ceiling.

“Chase.” Jills rushed over from the other side of the room. He stepped fully inside, a jug of something in his hand, and she grabbed it and put it by the cauldron. “Aww, you remembered. Thank you.” She looked at me. “Fog juice. We’re running low.”

“Right.”

Chase pulled her in for a long hug like he hadn’t just seen her that morning. “You’re welcome.” After kissing her first on the mouth, he gave her belly a kiss. Something he always did. “How are my girls doing?”

They’d recently found out they were having a girl. I liked surprises so I’d talked Stephen into waiting. That wasn’t what he would’ve chosen, but he did it for me.

Fuck, I miss him.

“We’re doing amazing,” she said, “and can’t wait for more kids to come.”

“We’ll get started on that as soon as our daughter arrives.”

She laughed and pushed away, batting him on the chest. “I meant the trick-or-treaters.”

“I like your costume.” Of course he did. Her boobs looked ginormous.

“And you need one.” She stroked his face. “I’ll have to figure something out.”

Oh fuck. I noticed that look. “No, Jills. You are not dressing him up like some Chippendale’s dancer.”

They both looked over at me and the doorbell rang, causing her to jump away and get the candy. She smiled big. “I wonder who we’ll have now.” She pushed open the door. “Aw, look at you, sweetie. Perry, it’s a little cowboy. He’s even riding a horse. And we also have a… unicorn?”

“Dinosaur,” the kid said.

“Right. Dinosaur. Well, you’re adorable too.”

I watched out the window as they left. “That is totally a unicorn, Jills. Dinosaur, my ass.”

She laughed. “It doesn’t matter, Perry.” She glanced around. “Where’d Chase go?”

“I’m getting the music going,” he called from the other room. “You don’t have any playing.”

“Damn, I knew I forgot something,” she said.

I noticed a truck pulling into the driveway. “Are you expecting Daniel?”

“No. He’s going to a party tonight. Why?”

“Because he’s here.” I sat up straighter. “And holy fuck, Jills. He’s got a girl with him.”

“Really?” She darted over and nearly plowed me down to spy out the window with me. They were both heading up towards the house dressed in 20s costumes. Flapper and gangster. Her eyes popped wide. “Do you think….” she whispered.

“Good chance if they’re coordinating costumes.”

She bolted for the door and held it open for them. “Hmm. A little too old for trick-or-treating, don’t you think?”

“Never too old, Mom.” Daniel came inside, smiling and bringing his sidekick with him. “Hey, Aunt Perry.” He waved, then grabbed a couple candy bars and stuffed them in his pocket. “This is Sophie.”

Jills and I exchanged glances. It was the first girl we’d seen him with since Cassie. Her instincts not to interfere had been spot-on. It only took a few more weeks before Daniel found out on his own, and as much as it’d hurt him, it would’ve been even worse if his mother had been involved in the breakup. It didn’t take too long to repair their relationship after it all went down. We didn’t know all the details, but unfortunately for psychoslut, she’d gotten a little careless with her computer. She had enough incriminating shit on there to make him question her loyalties. Maybe she was dumber than we thought. She should’ve known better living with a smart-as-hell IT guy, but thank fuck she didn’t. Knowing Daniel, he’d been far too gentle when kicking her to the curb, but she’d get it hard in the ass in the end. Her kind always did.

“Hi, Sophie,” Jills said. “Nice to meet you. You two look great, by the way.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Hudson. It’s so nice to meet you too.”

“It’s Nolan now, but please, call me Jillian.”

Chase came back into the room, “Monster Mash” jamming in the background. “And this is Chase,” Daniel said. “My mom’s husband.” I noticed she didn’t even flinch at the word ‘husband,’ and if I’d noticed, then Jills had a thousandfold. Sophie was already starting off way ahead of the game.

“My aunt, Perry.” I waved and Sophie smiled. I had a good feeling about this one, but she still needed to be checked out. “Now that introductions are made, I need to run and get that tie.” He squeezed Sophie’s hand. “Be back in a sec.”

“You’re already wearing one,” Jills said.

“Yeah, but I need one to match Sophie’s dress.”

We exchanged another glance. Definitely a couple.

Daniel headed for his old room, soon to be the baby’s. He had his own place but still hadn’t cleared out everything from the closet.

“So, Sophie,” I said. “Where’d you and Daniel meet?”

“At work. I was already there when he started so we’ve been friends for a while.” I don’t think it was my imagination when I saw her face darken. Friends, my fat ass.

“Ever been arrested?”

“Aunt Perry,” Daniel shouted from the bedroom.

“Go back to your ties,” I shouted back. “We’re just having a friendly chat.”

“Um, no,” she said.

“Even worse, have you ever taken any drama classes?” I lowered my voice so Daniel wouldn’t hear me.

“Drama classes?” Sophie appeared confused as all getout, and Jills gave me a warning glare. Hey, I was just doing my auntly duty. Wouldn’t want any history repeating itself.

Daniel came back with his tie the right shade of blue. He kissed Jills on the cheek and grabbed Sophie’s hand. “Thanks, Mom. We have to head out right away, but we’ll see you later.”

“Have fun. Let’s all get together soon.”

“Definitely.”

After goodbyes, Jills watched them leave. Either that or she was gazing longingly out the door for more trick-or-treaters. She knew the flocks didn’t usually come until later, but that didn’t stop her from wishing. She loved this shit a little too damn much.

“She seems nice,” Jills said. “Cross your fingers this’ll be a good one.” She turned to face Chase. “What did you think?”

“I think… I think I can’t stop staring at you in that dress.”

“Jesus, you two. Enough with the eyefucking already. I’m in the room.”

She giggled and he gave her a kiss. “I think I’d better go fix that spider web outside. I noticed part of it falling down earlier.” Another lip-lock. “Can I get you anything first?”

“I’d love some pumpkin tea.”

“You got it, baby. Perry, anything for you?”

“No, thanks.”

Chase left for the kitchen and I plastered my eyes on her. “What?” she asked.

“You know what. I don’t understand how you can even get horny right now.”

She shrugged. “I guess you were right, Perry. A man who wants to love me forever and have a baby with me? Pretty damn hot.”

“Yeah.” I sighed and Jills came over, sitting down beside me. “Don’t you need to perch by the door and wait for the kids?”

“I’ll hear the bell.”

She pulled me down and I rested my head in her lap. “God, Jills. I suck. Big, fat, hairy gorilla balls. I’ve been so horrible lately. How do you put up with me? By the way, since we’re on the subject of me being horrible, I’m sorry again for the way I treated you when we first met.”

What made me even think about that? God, my emotions were all over the freaking place.

She laughed, playing with my hair. “I think I forgave you, oh, seven years ago. And you’re not horrible, Perry. You’re the best friend and family I could ever ask for.”

“I’m bitchy and crabby and batshit and….” I couldn’t finish. Masochist wasn’t on my list.

“No, you’re sweet and loyal and crazy in the best way. When you care about someone, you’re devoted a hundred and ten percent. Your heart never wavers from its spot. I’m lucky to have you.” She slid a bunch of my strands through her fingers. “And I think your hair’s become even more gorgeous, if that’s possible.”

I smiled. Okay, if I had to acknowledge something that’d improved during the past months, it’d be my hair. I didn’t have to do a damn thing with it, and it looked like I had a team of stylists following me around all day.

“I know how much you miss Stephen. It’s okay to feel down about it. I know I’d get a little grumpy too if Chase were gone so long.”

A little grumpy? God, she was too fucking nice. I was more like Preggozilla.

“I do miss him, Jills. So damn much.” He was in Oakland for business, helping to open a new data center there. It’d already been two weeks, and we weren’t sure exactly how much longer he’d be gone. After a week, I’d moved in with Jills and Chase. I needed my family.

Chase returned with her tea, the scent of cinnamon hitting me hard. It sounded good if it also had a roll attached to it slathered in frosting. He set it on the table in front of her.

“I’ll take care of the door for now,” he said. “Linda told me she’s bringing Hazelnut around later too.”

“Thank you,” Jills said. I flicked my eyes up to see him kissing the top of her head before going outside with the candy bowl.

“I know it might sound silly and selfish, but I don’t want Stephen gone even a day. I want him with me for this entire thing.”

“It doesn’t sound silly or selfish, Perry. Of course you want him with you. I’m sure it won’t be much longer now.”

“I hope not,” I said softly as she braided my hair. I curled my arms around my belly, feeling my eyelids droop.

Contraceptive failure.

Yeah, it’d been a fucking shock. It wasn’t clear if the pill had failed first and then I got sick, or if I got sick and that caused the pill failure. Chicken or the egg. Unlike Jills, I couldn’t pinpoint the big moment to the exact millisecond. I had to be satisfied with approximately. But whatever. The how and when wasn’t important. Not to the overall picture. Because all was healthy and well. Despite my mood and my muumuus, I was so excited to be starting our own little family. Stephen had been ecstatic to hear the news. We’d both wanted kids eventually; it just happened sooner than expected. All the positives were what truly mattered.

I didn’t even care that I was either sleeping or puking on my wedding day. It still exceeded every beautiful dream of mine because I’d married the man in them. That day will forever go down as my favorite because Stephen became my husband. But fuck if I didn’t make damn sure that I’d cried. It was going to happen even if I had to stick pins in my eyes. Because crying on your wedding day meant you’d never shed any more tears in your marriage. At least not sad ones. That wasn’t superstition. It was fact.

“I love you, Jills. And believe it or not, I really am happy that we’re going through this together.”

“Me too, Perry, and I believe you.” Her legs started bouncing, along with my head. “Ooh, what do you think our babies’ first Halloween costumes will be?”

I laughed. “I don’t know, but I’m sure they’ll be awesome.” I was feeling better already.

Another couple hours passed, in which I tried my damndest to remain in costume by staying lumped on the couch, but Jills kept forcing me up every time a new trick-or-treater came to the door. Apparently, every kid was the best and a must-see. I already had my favorite: Hazel. She’d come as a punk rocker chick complete with pink spiky hair and platform boots that I would’ve snatched if my feet weren’t so frickin’ wide.

I stole a moment away while Chase was in the kitchen making us dinner and Jills was taking candy inventory. I picked up my phone, ready to send off a text to my husband.

“Omigod, get up. You have to see this one, Perry.”

I glanced over and got an eyeful of frantic waving. Jills was at the door looking way too perky for my couch-potatoed ass.

“You’ve been saying that for the past how many dozen times now? I’m gonna take a pass on this one. I’m all costumed out.” I focused back down on my phone and typed out a message.

“Are you sure? I’m told I look pretty hot in a lion costume.”

Holy fuck. My head shot up and I almost trashed my phone when it flew out of my hand. I was off that couch so damn fast I thought I was Jills for a second.

Smack. Right into his open arms. Kissing. Touching. Trying to cram weeks’ worth of physical contact into the moment.

“I had no idea you were coming home today. You never told me.” I caught Jills behind us sporting a huge-ass grin. “You knew,” I said to her. “You knew and you never told me.” Her smile grew wider. Just when I thought we were even on the secrets….

I’d find a way to get back at her later. Stephen was home. He was finally fucking home. I couldn’t stop staring him over. I couldn’t keep my hands to myself. He was my very own Norse god come to life under my fingertips. There was probably a little eyefucking going on too, so yeah, call me a hypocrite.

“I wanted to surprise you,” he said and I thought my cheeks were going to bust apart. “You’re so damn beautiful, Perry. God, I missed you and the baby. I’m so fucking glad to be home.”

He caressed my stomach and I wiped away a tear, trying to reel in the waterworks. They were happy tears, but still. “It’s about damn time too,” I said. “Do you know how tiring it’s getting bitching at your sister every day? I need a little more challenge than what she’s been giving up lately. I need my husband, so you’d better—”

He silenced me with his mouth. Yes, I needed him. More than my own damn good sometimes. I’d felt his absence deeply, and I never wanted to feel it again.

“You’d better always love me,” I said softly when our lips broke free. “Because I’ll always love you.”

Jills still wore her fool grin, no doubt knowing that Stephen’s surprise homecoming made it all the sweeter for me. Chase came up behind and wrapped his arms around her and their daughter. What did I ever do to deserve a family like this? One that’s always there for each other. One that can get through any fucked-up situation.

It’d taken a lot for me to get to this point. If I was any of those wonderful things Jills said about me, it was only because they’d made it safe for me to be that way. My family meant everything to me, and I was never letting go. Through a whole lotta love, a little luck, and a shit-ton of clusterfucks, I finally had it all.

I was one lucky bitch.

 

 

Want to know more about Perry and Stephen and how their story started? Then don’t miss the next book in the Legal series!