Point proven. Several times. The last one in the shower. Why would I settle for a box of three-second spasms when I could have what he was offering? And if I never had to feel guilty for using him as my dial-an-orgasm? Sign me up, please.
“Your phone’s dinging.”
“Can you check it?” I called out from the bathroom. I was going through the hair and makeup routine for the second time that day, while Chase had bounded out of the shower with barely a glance in the mirror.
“It’s from Daniel, twenty minutes ago. ‘I’m leaving now, but I need to make a stop on the way first. Do you mind if I bring a friend to the party?’” Chase read me Daniel’s text through the door.
“Can you type back ‘No problem’?” He always had friends over at our house when he was growing up. Of course, I didn’t mind, but it was thoughtful of him to still ask.
I finished up and went into the kitchen where Chase was going through the fridge. “Do you need me to run out to the store for anything?”
“Aww, thank you.” I noticed the full pot of coffee he’d made while I was getting ready. I grabbed a huge mug and poured my first cup of the day. “And I’m all set with food. I went out and picked up everything Thursday night. Perry’s planning on bringing dessert and drinks, and I think….” I tapped my chin, running over my beer supply. “Maybe you can—”
The doorbell rang, and Chase lifted the kitchen blinds. “Perry and Stephen,” he said.
I was about to say they were early when the clock told me they were right on time. I was the one who lost track of the morning, but it couldn’t have gone more perfectly. Everything about the day was perfect so far. Perfect perfect perfect.
I set down my coffee and went over before Perry had to dig out her key. I opened the door to the two of them and several bags.
“Wow, what’s all this?”
Stephen set down a couple. “There’s more in the car,” he said, going back down the steps.
Perry came inside, stomping her feet on the mat. She looked me up and down. “You look happy today.”
“That’s because I am.”
“Hey, Perry.” Chase came around the corner. “Stephen need a hand?”
“Maybe. There’re a few cases in the truck.”
“Come back through the garage,” I told him as he was going out the door. “You can keep it in the basement.” I wasn’t expecting them to bring beer too, but at least I didn’t need to send Chase out to get any now.
Perry hung up her coat in the front closet. “Now you know where they’ll be hanging out all day.”
“That’s fine. They can clean while they’re at it. That’s all I have left to do besides start on the appetizers.” I picked up one of the bags, peering inside. “What all did you bring? You guys went a little overboard.”
Perry followed me into the kitchen. “There’s this new liquor superstore that opened by our house. I couldn’t decide on a flavor. I wanted to try everything.”
“Flavor? You make it sound like a”—I pulled out a bottle of adult strawberry milkshake—“dessert.” I shook my head. “Seriously?”
“There’s chocolate and banana too.” I brought those out, along with a peach pie and a cinnamon roll. She shrugged. “They were on sale.”
“You know you’re the only one who’s going to drink this stuff.”
“That’s not true. It’s a college party, isn’t it? They’ll appreciate it.”
I took a bottle of Spotted Cow out of the fridge and set it aside. I’d need it for the beer dip I had to get started on soon. “This isn’t Hell Week. And besides Daniel and one of his friends, there won’t really be any here in that age range. So no, not a college party. I’m planning on doing a graduation party in the summer when a lot more can make it.”
We unloaded the rest, setting the wine and soda on one end of the table, all the sweet crap on the other. They must have spent three hundred bucks easily. “This is crazy, Perry. Let me pay you guys back.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it.” She popped the lid on a container of cookies, sticking a pink frosted star in her mouth. “We’re gonna save a ton of money on the wedding anyway.”
“Hopefully, but you’ll have to figure out what you’re doing first.” I grabbed a glass bowl from the top of my cupboard and broke a package of cream cheese into it.
“We already did.” She came over smiling, holding a handful of pink to her chest. “We officially have a place as of yesterday.”
“Oh my God, Perry, this is huge!” I almost whipped the wooden spoon at her in my moment of excitement. After all these months trying to get someplace nailed down, it was that big of a deal. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She hopped up on the counter. “I’m telling you now. Whatcha making?” I popped off the cap, showing her the bottle before pouring some into the bowl. “Oooh, yum.”
She didn’t like beer, but she could eat a whole pretzel bag’s worth of my beer dip in one sitting.
“You haven’t told me anything yet.” Argh. The top of the new mayo jar would not twist off. My wrist ached. I started banging it against the counter.
“Hey, that reminds me. How’d that stuff work out for you?”
“What are you talking about?” I tried it again, and it popped open that time. All the contents went into the bowl, followed by a bag of cheddar cheese. Probably the most unhealthy stuff I made, but so, so good.
“That Boob Banger spray.”
I gave her a quick look. “It’s Blaster, and don’t ask.” She opened her mouth. “And you were right, so don’t say ‘I told you so.’ Unfortunately, the product’s name is accurate.”
“But—”
“Uh-uh.” I pointed a pretzel rod at her. “I’m done with Michelle’s advice, okay?”
“Okay.” She smiled big because she loved when I told her she was right. Then she snatched the pretzel from my hand. “Pass that bowl over here. At least give me something to put on this.”
“Not until you tell me about the wedding. Come on, Perry. Where’re you having it?”
“Oh right. So, you know my Auntie Em—I just love saying that—who lives in Bumfuck Egypt up somewhere near Madison, or maybe you don’t, but I’m sure you saw her at some point over the years.” She leaned over and pulled the bowl towards her, scooping up a wad of dip with her pretzel. “She owns a farm, and God, I wish I could remember what town she’s in, but it’s so freaking small, I don’t think it even has a name.”
I twirled my hand around. “Okay, okay, and….”
“And I can’t remember what they grow there either. Maybe hemp since she’s an old flower child?” She crunched loudly, pulling another out of the bag and sticking it in the dip.
“Perry, what does that even matter? Now tell me about the location before I go downstairs and ask Stephen.”
“And… surprise!” She threw up her arms, a glob of cheese flying off the end of the rod and sticking to the cupboard behind her. “That’s where we’re having the wedding.”
“What’s where?”
“The farm, silly.”
“Wait, what?”
“The ceremony, the reception, everything.”
“But—”
“It’s a pretty farm, not one where you’ll be tripping over manure. You won’t get your pink dress all dirty. When the weather gets nicer, we’ll all take a drive up there and start planning it out.”
“But, Perry… a farm?”
I’m sure I looked as dumbfounded as I felt. Perry and farm were antonyms. She had a list of wacky fears and tractors was one of them. They freaked her out for reasons she probably didn’t even know. We got stuck behind one once for a half hour while driving down a narrow country road and couldn’t pass. I thought she was going to have a panic attack.
“Yes, a farm.” She rolled her eyes like I hadn’t been listening to her properly.
“Um, tractors?”
She waved her hand like it was no big deal. “I only don’t like them when they’re moving.”
I dragged over the beer dip; I needed to join her. I stuffed a hearty portion into my mouth and wrapped my head around what she’d just told me. By the time I swallowed, I’d realized it was a good thing. Perry seemed really happy about it, and she finally figured out what she wanted. It was cause for celebration.
“And you know I’ve been talking to Stu about Hallowed Realm playing for us.” I nodded. Great band. Not what you’d typically dance to for a wedding, but hey, it was her day. “So, he’s checking with the guys and will get back to me soon on that. They’re playing Summerfest again this year, but since the wedding’s the week before, I might have a shot.”
“Sounds good.”
“I hope this is not all you’re planning on serving. We’ll probably have it all finished before anyone gets here.”
“Of course not.” I finished off the rest of my opened beer. I needed to make several more batches of it, along with plenty else. I had to get my ass in gear. At least I could start cutting up veggies.
“They’re playing at The Groove next month. We should go.”
“I’m in.” I pulled a bag of peppers out of the veggie bin, giving me a sudden craving for fajitas. It’d been a couple weeks since we last made them. Way too long.
“And I still think you and Chase should perform a song, you know, to commemorate our day and all.”
I slammed the fridge closed. “I don’t think so, Perry.” She hadn’t brought that up in a while, and I’d hoped she’d changed her mind. If Chase wanted to play his guitar, I’d watch with stars in my eyes, but me singing in front of a crowd? No.
“But it’s my day, Jills.”
“No.” That argument only worked in my head. “So, what’d you decide about changing your name?”
“Stop changing the subject. And you sang on stage for that talent show thingy.”
Yes, but there weren’t as many people, and I could only see a small fraction looking back at me because of the lights. And it’d been spur of the moment. And the biggest reason of all? I’d finally figured out how much I’d loved Chase and wanted him back. Desperate times and all.
Perry’s bottom lip was about to hit the floor. She was my best friend, and I loved her too. Dammit. “I’ll think about it. That’s all I can promise right now.”
Her face instantly perked, and she clapped. “Now—”
“Hello, hello.”
We both turned towards the direction of the basement stairs. Footsteps were sounding up them and Perry frowned, figuring out whom the voice belonged to.
A head popped around the corner. “I hope I’m not late.”
“No, actually you’re early, Michelle. You still have an hour yet. Wait, how’d you get in?”
“The garage door.”
Damn. I went into the hall and pressed the button, hearing it close below me. I didn’t like leaving it open so long in the wintertime; it was cold enough in the basement without having an unheated garage that led directly to it.
“Is Henry coming today?” I asked as she sat down, eyeing everything on the table.
“Another dog?” Perry said.
“Her husband, Perry.” I mouthed, “Behave,” then turned back to Michelle. Thankfully they were on opposite sides of the kitchen, and I was smack-dab in the middle. “Help yourself,” I said when I noticed her drooling over the brownies.
“Thanks.” She peeled off the plastic lid and scooped one from the container. “Not sure about Henry yet. He’s tired, and he’s already taken his nap. I told him to just pick his damn balls off his knees and stuff ’em in a pair of pants and come over already. How hard can that be?”
She took a big bite of brownie, and I saw Perry shiver out of the corner of my eye. “That reminds me, I need to give you back your spray.” I went into my office and pulled it from the bottom of my desk drawer, the one piled high with paperwork. I didn’t want to risk keeping it where anyone could see it. “Here you go.” I handed it to her. “Please put it in your purse right away.”
“I understand.” Michelle winked, shoving it in her bag. “It’ll be our little secret.” She took out a pen and piece of paper. “I’ll write down the best place to get it so you can have your own supply.”
“No, that’s okay—”
“It’s no problem at all. I bet Hotcakes likes them.” She winked again, and I glanced at Perry. She was leaning forward, chin resting in her hands and looking way too much like she was starting to enjoy this. “I bet he got all sticky when you showed him. How many times did you use it?”
What? “No, Michelle. That’s what I’m trying to say—I tried it once, but it didn’t work out so well. My skin had a reaction to it.”
“Oh, that’s horrible. You probably just used too much. Why don’t you try it again and see?”
“Whaddya say, Jills?” Perry’s smile was wide, and her legs were kicking.
I gave her a look. “No, I’m done.”
Michelle stood. “Well, since I have some time, I’m gonna go check on Henry. See if he made it off the couch yet. ”
She left out the back door, immediately lighting up a cigarette. I went back to my cutting board.
“At her age, why does she even bother with all this stuff?” Perry said. I was about to say that she’s only fifty, not eighty like she seemed to think, when Stephen appeared.
He grabbed two bottles out of the fridge. “Hey, you didn’t tell me you made beer dip.” He tried taking that too, but Perry stopped him.
“This is ours. Wait for the next batch.”
“You have three cases down there,” I said, pointing at the beer in his hand. “Why are you taking mine?”
“We finished off the cold ones. The others needed to be stuck in the snow for a while. They should be good when people get here.”
He headed back down, and Perry said, “You know, they’re probably not doing much else besides drinking and shooting pool.”
I started on the second batch of dip. “Can you run down there real quick and see how bad it is? Maybe we can get away with not doing much cleaning.”
She hopped off the counter and slapped her hands together. “Sure thing. And if I’m right—again—and they’re not doing shit, I’ll bitch at them for you too.”
I smiled. “Okay, you do that.” I felt a thrill knowing my boyfriend and brother were just down there hanging out. They got along well now, much better than I could’ve ever hoped for. I never thought Stephen would accept him, much less befriend him, but he had. I wasn’t sure because of the ten-year age difference, but that’s also what Perry and I shared, just in reverse. Strange to think of it in those terms.
“Ugh!” She ran to the sink, spitting something out. “What the hell was that?”
I glanced over to see what she could’ve eaten. “Those are my olives. Stuffed with jalapeños.” She grabbed a paper towel, running it up and down her tongue. I couldn’t help laughing. “A little dramatic much? There’re very mild, Perry.”
“If my taste buds were fried like yours.” She stomped off down the hallway. “Now my nose is running.”
“Don’t forget to check the basement when you’re done,” I yelled out.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Knock, knock.” Michelle was standing on my back patio, her head stuck through the doorway.
“Come in, Michelle. Did you convince Henry?”
She took off her boots by the door. “Pfft. Now he says our steps are too icy. He’s worried about falling.” She came into the kitchen. “Think I could borrow one of the big, strong men to throw down some salt? The bags were delivered, but the numbnuts didn’t put it down for me.”
“Sure, I don’t think that’d be a problem.”
She peered closely at me. “I share all my secrets with you, so how ’bout you do a little of the same?”
“I’m not sure what you mean,” I said, opening another Spotted Cow and pouring it into the bowl. Sure, I could use a can of cheap beer, but this was my magic ingredient to make it pop.
“Your skin shouldn’t be getting better every time I see you. You’ve found the fountain of youth and you’re not spilling.”
I laughed. “I’m not doing anything different, Michelle.” I shrugged. “I’m just happy, I guess.”
She rubbed her chin. “No, that’s not it.” Oh God, Michelle. Do not start talking about ‘facials.’ “When I was engaged to that youngster, my skin looked good, but not that good.”
“I appreciate the compliment, but there’s really nothing I can tell you. I would definitely share any miracle potion with you, but I’ve been doing the same routine for years, using the same moisturizer. You already know what I use.”
“So the only thing different is Chase?”
“Yep.”
“And if you had something, you’d share it with me?”
“Of course.”
“Boys still in the basement?”
“Yes.”
I heard her tromp down the stairs, and I wondered if I should have warned them first. Oh shit, I just remembered that Perry was down there too and I wasn’t around to keep her in check. Fortunately, Michelle was the type to let things bounce off easily.
A few minutes later, Perry was up as I was figuring out what I needed to make next. I was having a few trays of sandwiches delivered from Angelina’s later, but I wanted to have enough sides and snacks out.
“What’s she doing here again?”
“Perry, she’s invited.”
She swiped a bottle off the table and poured a cinnamon roll into a glass, topping it with whipped cream. She put her can back in the fridge, then chugged half of it down.
“She’s asking for big, strong men to help her at the house. I don’t trust her.”
I laughed. “What’s she doing to do? She just needs someone to pour salt on her steps. They’re too slippery for her seventy-year-old husband to walk down. That’s understandable.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.”
“What are you talking about?” I stood over the sink, washing berries for the fruit salad. They really sucked this time of year. I couldn’t wait until farmer’s market season.
“You know, a little flip and dip. She’ll lure one over to a patch of black ice, he’ll fall and flip over, she’ll dip down and make her move. Before he knows what hit him, she’ll be on top of him making it look like an accident. She was probably the one to dump water on the steps and—”
“What the hell, you two?” The whir of the garage door sounded below me. “I can hear you halfway down the stairs. You’re lucky it was me coming up,” Stephen said.
I turned my head. “There’s no ‘two’ here. That was all your fiancée.”
“Because of your crazy neighbor,” Perry said.
“You’re not acting much saner.”
“What would you do if our neighbor flashed you?” She looked at Stephen, who was scarfing down dip.
“I’d probably kick his ass,” he said, voice muffled with food.
“See? He agrees with me. That’s what you should do, Jills.”
“I’m not going to assault my neighbor.”
“What do you think she did to us? I almost keeled over.”
I turned to Stephen. “I take it Chase went to help Michelle?”
“Yep.”
“Ha!” Perry said, filling her glass back to the top.
We both looked at her. “Ha, what?” I said. “I’d blame your mood on what you’re drinking if this wasn’t normal for you.”
She stuck out her tongue at me. “Just for that, I’m not letting you try any.”
“Thank you.”
Stephen went to the window. “Tony and Val are here. I’m going out.”
He left through the front door, and I shut the garage door. When I stepped back into the kitchen, Perry was pointing at the boots by the patio door.
“Now do you believe me? She’s a fucking nutbag.”
“Huh.” She’d left without her shoes. That did seem kinda strange, but I couldn’t think about it now. People were starting to arrive. “You never told me how it looked down in the rec room.”
“You know, I never thought of it before, but that room would make a great little love nest for you and Chase. Especially now with Daniel home. You’d be shut off, and it seems pretty soundproof. A little cold but—”
“Perry, I meant how much of a mess is down there.”
“Oh. None at all, Jills. Chase cleaned it really well. Which makes him even more of a keeper, as if you needed another reason. You’d better make sure nothing happens to him over at the crackpot’s house.”
I shook my head. “Can you just get all the bags of chips out of the pantry for me? I have to bring up some more coolers.”
I kept busy for the next half hour, putting out food, setting up chairs, greeting guests. Mom and Frank arrived, and they were chatting away with the others in the family room. I really didn’t think much of Chase still being gone until I looked at the clock. Of course, I didn’t believe Perry’s theory that he was locked up in her basement, but I did wonder what was taking so long. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to take a quick walk over there. I’ll give it ten more minutes.
“Daniel’s here,” Stephen called from the front room.
Oooh… the guest of honor. I was beaming. Now I just needed Chase back. I was so psyched for the day. I loved entertaining, especially when I had such a good reason for it. I’d spent some incredible quality time with my man this morning—my temperature still hadn’t dropped yet—and I’d be spending quality time with my son later. And in between, I’d be with all the other important people in my life. The perfect day.
“Oh hell no.”
That was it. I didn’t care how sweet and fluffy those drinks looked; Perry was cut off. I heard her loud enough from the other room. She knew my mother wasn’t a fan of the swearing, no matter how tame. Especially when it was loud. I stormed in there ready to give her shit.
Until I saw who Daniel’s friend was.
“Oh hell no.”