“Surprise!”
The front door swung open the second we stepped onto the porch, which confirmed that yes, they were watching us. My mom was first in line, ready to pounce.
“Oh, my goodness, just look at you.” She squashed his cheeks with her hands. Of course, she had to stand on her tiptoes to do it. “So handsome.”
“Hi, Grandma.”
“And so tall.” She glanced to the side of her. “Frank, was he always this tall?”
I could understand her enthusiasm, and I related well to the tall and handsome sentiment, but we were about to become snow figures soon. “Mom, let him get through the door first.”
“Oh, yes. Of course. Come in, come in.”
She moved aside, bringing her hands down to grip his arms instead. We stepped into the foyer and I kicked off my boots, looking around. Mom and Frank, Stephen and Perry were cloistered around the front door. I didn’t see Chase.
“I bet you broke a few Italian hearts when you left, dear.”
Daniel smiled. “No, Grandma.”
“So modest, he is. You must have lots of girlfriends.”
I didn’t want to be that kind of mom, but yeah, if he did have any they weren’t good enough for him. That was already a fact.
“Sweetheart, let the boy breathe.” Frank moved in, giving him a hug. “Ciao! Che piacere vederti! Come va?”
“Fantastico.”
“All right, enough gibberish. We speak English here.”
“Hi, Aunt Perry.”
“Damn right,” Perry said.
“Perry, dear. Language.”
“Yes, Mrs. B.”
Perry grinned at Daniel, right before she crushed him with another hug to replace Frank’s. I knew Uncle Stephen’s wasn’t far behind.
It was then that I saw Chase, hands in his front pockets, leaning against the kitchen doorframe. Our eyes locked, and I felt both relief and panic.
Perry sidled up to me, giving Stephen his turn, and whispered, “He’s been acting cool about it, but I know he’s shitting bricks. He’s nervous, Jills. He really wants this to go well.”
“I know the feeling.”
Chase sent me a smile and I returned it, an ache spreading through me. I suddenly wanted to be in his arms. He was over there, and I was over here, still by the front door. A dozen questions were being shot Daniel’s way, but I’d started to tune them all out.
I knew Chase was waiting for me to make the first move. He wouldn’t take the matter into his own hands, not for something like this. I had to be the one to reach out and introduce them. The fact that I wanted him there was the first step, but it wasn’t the last.
I had to stop being such a fucking wimp about it and introduce my twenty-four-year-old boyfriend to my twenty-one-year-old son.
Fuck.
“Chase, dear, can you see how much time is left on the lasagna?”
My mother’s soft-spoken voice seemed to amplify through the house, and everyone turned to look at him. Daniel included.
Perfect.
I gave myself a kick in the ass and dragged it over to Chase. “Ten minutes, Mom,” I said, seeing the timer as I neared the kitchen.
“Hey,” Chase said, smiling.
“Hey.” I cast out a bunch of feelers, latching on to a bit of that strength he possessed so I could reel some back in for myself. God, I needed it. “I’m glad you’re here.”
The moment I made contact, his whole body shifted. I felt his tension drain. He’d looked relaxed before, but Perry was right—he wasn’t. He cared about the outcome. Big time. For all his confidence, he was scared as hell to lose me, and he displayed that with his moment of vulnerability. He was pure strength, but he wasn’t invincible. He loved the fuck out of me, and he wasn’t afraid to show it.
“I’m glad to be here, Jillian.”
I melted into him, wrapping my arm around his waist. I could fucking do this. I could fucking do anything.
“Daniel, this is Chase. The one I told you about.”
The rest of the group filed past us into the kitchen, Perry squeezing my arm as she brushed by. Daniel was in the back of the pack and stopped before us, eyeing Chase.
“Nice to meet you,” Chase said, sticking out his hand.
Say something! I couldn’t garner a damn thing from Daniel’s expression beyond exhaustion.
He returned the handshake. “You too.”
They released their grip, and Daniel nodded once and walked into the kitchen. Wait, what? Chase put his arms around me, and I leaned into his chest. Thump thump thump.
“What just happened here?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
I pulled back. “What do you mean what do I mean?” I waved my finger back and forth. “That whole five-second interaction between you and my son. It went well.”
“Oh my God, of course not. It’s just….” I was frickin’ ready to tear out every strand of my hair for that? “I don’t get it. It was almost too easy.”
“If it’s not there, Jillian, don’t look for it. Besides, he still has to get to know me. Maybe he’ll want to bash my face in then.”
My lips barely curved at his joke. Of course I wanted it to go well. Of course I wanted both men in my life without conflict. It just confused me. I expected a flicker of disbelief, at the very least. Maybe his eyeballs were coated with gunk from his nap.
“Ow!” I rubbed my shoulder where Perry had punched it. “What was that for?”
“Daniel’s giving out presents, and then we’re gonna eat.”
“You didn’t have to punch me for that.”
“Baby.” She rolled her eyes, then walked away.
I took Chase’s hand. “Do you want to sit next to me?”
“Always.”
He leaned down and kissed the top of my head, and I decided to rip out a play from his book. If things were smooth, I shouldn’t snowplow over it and blow it all to hell.
We went into the kitchen, where everyone congregated around the middle island except for Stephen. His arm was stuck in the fridge, pulling out drinks.
“Hey, sis.”
“Hi.” It was the first I’d acknowledged him since we’d arrived.
He lifted a bottle and I nodded. Then he did the same with Chase. I grabbed both, handing one over. “Thanks.”
“Want one, Daniel?” Stephen asked. I was about to lay into him when I remembered that he was old enough to drink now. Yeah, that’d take some getting used to.
“No, thanks.”
Daniel was over at the stove with Frank as he opened his gift. There was no doubt that it was food-related, so when he slid out a bottle of olive oil, I wasn’t the least bit surprised. It was perfect for him. I didn’t recognize the brand, but I’m sure Frank did.
“Mille grazie,” Frank said “Bellissimo. We can use this tonight.” He looked at me. “For the bread.”
I gave him a slight shrug. I loved to slather his fresh-baked bread with butter, and to him that was cringe-worthy.
“Prego,” Daniel replied.
“Yeah, yeah,” Perry said, “I’ll only ignore that because I have a present too.” She tilted it back and forth. “And it’s sloshy.” She peeled back the top of the box. “And I think I know what it is.” She smiled big, pulling out a bottle of Limoncello. “Yay. Thank you.”
“How’d you remember she likes that stuff?” I asked Daniel.
“He has a good memory,” Perry replied, kissing him on the cheek. “And he got me the extra sweet kind… awww.” She stuck it in the freezer. “If it gets really cold, we can make slushies.”
“Last one, Mom.” Daniel handed me a small bag and Chase shifted over, giving me space. “Careful, it’s fragile.”
“What about Stephen and your grandma?”
My mom showed me a box, lifting the lid to reveal a variety of citrus soaps. She loved all that stuff but never ended up using it because it was too pretty. I glanced at Stephen, and he held up a brilliant blue tie. I reached out and stroked it. Ooh, silk.
“That will be amazing with your eyes,” I said.
“I told Daniel he should use it for his Chicago interview Friday.”
“Chicago?” I turned towards Daniel. “You said Oak Creek.” We were talking a difference of ten minutes versus an hour or two, depending.
“That’s the one on Tuesday. I also have something downtown the next week. But the one on Friday is the big one.”
“You said you were staying in Milwaukee. Chicago’s too far.”
“You didn’t think it was that far when you were going to pick me up from the airport. Come on, Mom. Open your present so we can eat.”
Humph. I looked down, not sure how to feel. I didn’t want him moving away again, but I guess it really wasn’t that far. We could still see each other often enough.
I unraveled the several layers of protective wrap, revealing a kaleidoscope-colored ball. On closer inspection, I noticed it was an ornament. I held it up to the light, and all the colors swirled together.
“Whoa, cool,” Perry said. “It’s like that time when I was shrooming and—oof!”
I assumed Stephen just elbowed her in the ribs. I ran my fingers over the glass. It was beautiful.
“I wasn’t sure,” Daniel said, “but you used to love buying special ornaments every year, and this one just reminded me of a—”
“Disco ball,” I said, laughing. When I twirled it around, that’s what it reminded me of too. “I love it. Thank you.” I set it down and gave Daniel a tight hug. When he was younger, we used to get silly and dance around the house to disco music.
“Lovely,” my mom said.
I pulled back, grasping his arms. “You shouldn’t have done all this. It had to be expensive.”
He shrugged. “Not too bad. I did some odd jobs here and there.”
“Now let the poor boy eat, Jillian,” Frank said.
“Ugh, yes. Sorry. Go.” I released his arms and he immediately swiped a wad of bread from the basket on the counter. Frank would usually give you an earful for that, but I was pretty sure he’d make an exception in this case.
My stomach grumbled as well. I couldn’t wait to dive into the lasagna. It took him hours to make it with the homemade noodles, and it tasted like it. Good thing he loved cooking for us or else I’d feel guilty about it.
“Disco, huh?”
Chase was grinning at me, and I bumped my hip against his. “I have moves you can only dream of, mister.”
He slid closer. “In that case, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.”
I felt a weird pang. More often than not Chase stayed over, even when we both had to be up early. I couldn’t have him spending the night if Daniel was there; that didn’t feel right to me yet. Even if we were all adults. And I wasn’t going to take off and stay somewhere else when he just arrived. So, it looked like the sleepovers were on hold for a while.
“I wish it were with me,” I whispered.
He squeezed my hand. “Me too, but I’m okay with it. It won’t be forever, and you deserve this time with Daniel right now.”
He was so understanding, and I was so greedy. I wanted it all. I wanted Daniel home, but I didn’t want to give up even an ounce of what Chase and I shared because of it.
“We should probably go sit at the table,” I said, “before Perry throws a knife at us.”
We sat at our usual spots with Daniel at the head of the table at my mother’s insistence, she and Frank fussing all over him. His plate was piled high, and I had no doubt he’d eat it all and go for seconds. Stephen motioned for me to pass the bread, and when I did, Perry started laughing her fool head off for reasons I didn’t even want to ask about.
Chase gave my thigh a quick brush under the table, and I smiled at him. This is how our weekly family meals will be from now on. The same, yet different.
Better.
“How’re you doing?” I asked Daniel. He looked like he was going down for the count.
He held back a yawn. “Tired. I probably won’t last too long with Dad tonight.”
“Just remind me to give you a key before you leave. Whenever you come home is fine. And don’t forget your suitcase is still in the trunk.”
He nodded, and that was pretty much the extent of our conversation during dinner. He finished most of his food, even after my mom shoveled on another heap, and he listened when she started reminiscing about the set of Power Ranger dishes he had to use every time he came over. I was sure she still had them and was about to break them out when the doorbell rang.
I checked the time; it was barely eight. Mike had told me nine at the earliest. And I told him to call first. “Could that be your dad already?”
“Probably. He said around eight.”
Nice. I headed for the door, telling Frank to stay seated so he could relax after that amazing, gut-busting meal we’d just had. I peeked through the top window. Yep.
I opened the door and he entered without being invited. It was fucking freezing out there, but still…. I didn’t care how many times he’d stepped over that threshold; it was common courtesy to wait to be fucking invited.
Settle, Jillian. I was suddenly tensed up again. “Hey, Jillian. Daniel ready?”
“No. We’re still finishing our meal. You’re an hour early, and I told you to call first.”
“Sorry. Don’t remember that.”
“Hi, Dad.”
Daniel was coming towards the door, and my temper softened a bit. This guy who could be a total insensitive jerk was still Daniel’s father, and I had to remember that. Daniel loved him, and it didn’t matter how old my son was; I wasn’t going to badmouth Mike in front of him.
“Hey, my boy. Come here.” Mike held out his arms, bringing Daniel in for a giant hug. “Great to see you, buddy.”
“I’m just going to say goodbye to everyone, and then I’ll be ready to go.”
Mike nodded. “Sure thing.” Daniel went back to the kitchen. “That Frank’s lasagna I smell?”
“Yes.”
“Do you think I can—” Mike’s eyes suddenly narrowed, and at that moment I’d bet everything on why and end up disgustingly rich. He leaned closer to me. “What the fuck is he doing here?” he said quietly through clenched teeth.
“Eating dinner with the rest of the family.”
“Can I speak to you outside a minute?”
I was about to say no, then realized if it weren't now, it’d be another time. I couldn’t avoid it forever. I grabbed my coat from the front closet.
“I’ll be on the porch,” I yelled out.
I opened the door to Mr. Freeze’s breath in my face and lowered my head. At least it’d stopped snowing. I stuck my hands in my pockets and waited for Mike to shut the door.
“I am seriously questioning your judgment right now, Jillian.”
“Did you think I was going to keep Chase a secret? Daniel needed to meet him sometime. And it wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision. I thought about it a lot before I decided that time should be sooner rather than later.”
“And you didn’t bother to ask my opinion?”
“No. What would that accomplish? I know how you feel, and I disagree with it.”
“This is very irresponsible of you, Jillian. Parading your boy toy around our son.”
I was getting pissed. I bounced up and down, partly to warm up and partly to cool down. Whenever he insinuated that I had anything less than Daniel’s best interests at heart, I wanted to hurt him. Badly.
I took the cool route. “Let me ask you, Mike.” I stepped off the porch and peered around the walk, but I couldn’t see Mike’s car. He’d parked it too far off to the side. “Is Candace waiting in the car?”
I almost snorted at the thought of them back together. Mr. ‘She’s not the one for me and I’m never going back to her no matter what happens between us’ was probably groveling at her feet within the hour after I’d booted him out.
“No, she didn’t feel well. But that’s different. He already knows Candace. And they weren’t in diapers together.”
“Well, I guess you wouldn’t know since I’m the one who potty-trained our son, but he was completely out of diapers before he was three.”
“You know what I mean. Close enough. Fuck, it’s messed up, and I thought you’d have come to your senses and ended your little spring fling before Daniel graduated.”
“I love Chase so get used to it. He’s not going anywhere.” And neither was this conversation. “If we’re only out here so you can give me a hard time, there’s nothing more to talk about.”
I put my hand on the doorknob but he stopped me. “Mark my words, Jillian. This little May-December thing you’re playing around with? It’s going to blow up in your face. Did you even ask Daniel how he feels about it?”
“He’s fine with it, Mike. There were no problems tonight. He’s acting like an adult, unlike you at the moment.”
“Are you sure about that? You think he’s truly fine with his mother dating someone his own age? You’d better think again. What I think is that he’s not making an issue of it because he loves you and that’s the kind of guy he is. Don’t take advantage of that.”
I was fucking livid. “Get your hand off me. We’re done here. This topic is closed. Permanently.”
“I’m not the one who needs to act like an adult here. Our son’s home now, so it’s time for you to get your shit together and stop thinking only of yourself.”
Holy. Fuck. I yanked away from him and thought about slamming the door into his head. Fuck him. He could wait outside and freeze his ass off until Daniel was ready. And fuck him for wanting some lasagna. Unless he wanted to choke on it, and even then he wasn’t good enough for it. And fuck him for throwing my insecurities back in my face.
Fuck. Him.
I slipped inside, closing the door in his face a hell of a lot softer than I wanted to. I headed directly for the bathroom. Yeah, I needed to get my shit together, but for a different reason. I had to repair all those broken blood vessels before I faced anyone, especially Daniel.
Deeeeeeep breath. How dare Mike try to say that Daniel wasn’t fine with me seeing Chase. He wasn’t in the room when I introduced them. He didn’t see how easily it’d gone. He didn’t see them shaking hands and talking civilly to each other. He didn’t see shit.
Daniel was perfectly fine with Chase.
Right?