Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Fuuuuuck.

“Mom? Are you okay?”

I had my boobs in the sink, splashing cold water over them. It felt like I’d plopped them smack-dab in the middle of a stinging nettle patch.

Daniel rapped on the bathroom door. “Mom?”

“Fine,” I yelled out, trying to sound like my breasts weren’t on fire. “Just getting ready.” I scanned the back of the can again, seeing if I’d missed anything the first thousand times I’d read it. ‘In case of irritation, discontinue use.’ No shit, Sherlock.

He knocked again. “Mom, I need to ask a huge favor.”

I stood straight, dabbing my chest with a towel. The skin was red and pinpricked. And my tits aren’t even fucking perkier!

“Sure, what’s up?” I dumped some lotion in my hand and smothered it on. I instantly felt some cooling relief, but it stopped the moment I took my hand away.

“Dad’s car won’t start, and I need to use yours for the interview.”

Shit. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem because I worked from home unless I had a meeting—which I didn’t—but I did offer to help Chase with a class field trip. Damn car. How many times had Mike taken it into the shop? He refused to buy a new one even though he could do so easily.

“What time’s the interview?”

“Ten, but I was hoping to get down there earlier. And I have to account for traffic.”

Damn, and this is his big one in Chicago. I promised Chase, but this is a little more important. Unless…. I looked at the clock: A little after seven.

“How about this? I’m helping out at Chase’s school this morning, so if you’re able to leave just a half hour later, you can drive with me, then take my car for the rest of the day. I’ll get a ride home with Chase.”

I continued putting on my makeup, keeping my eyes diverted away from the flaming lumps staring back at me through the mirror. I wanted to avoid getting dressed until the last possible second. “But if you need the car now, that’s not a problem either. This is a big deal for you.”

For me? Not so much. I wanted it because he did, but Chicago? Why couldn’t he get excited about something right in the backyard? He was quiet for a minute as I swiped on my last coat of mascara.

“No, that should be all right. Are you almost ready?”

“Yep. I’ll be out soon.”

God, I hoped I’d finally learned my damn lesson. I rubbed on more lotion, relishing the temporary relief. What I needed to do was smack them right into the snow. That sounded divine.

I could still hear Perry’s voice chattering incessantly inside my head, trying to warn me. She’d tried to take the can and hide it from me, but I did that first. Now I wish she would’ve found it. I waited a good three days before spraying it on. And I finally did so before bed the night before. It had instantly tingled, but that was a good thing according to Michelle. It meant it was working. I went to sleep dreaming of giant, firm sugar plums and woke up to two fire ant hills on my chest.

I gingerly slipped on my bra, almost desperate to go without that day, but it ended up not being as bad as I thought. In fact, the covering almost made them feel better. But if the shit didn’t clear up by the end of the day I was going to have to get it checked out. Maybe it wouldn’t be the same as walking into the clinic with a three-foot-long dildo stuck up my butt, but it was still plenty embarrassing to me.

I finished getting dressed, then tousled my hair a bit even though I’d be covering it with a hat. We were going sledding. Although I wasn’t sure how Chase could get away with that as a field trip for a music teacher.

I came out of the bathroom to find Daniel waiting in one of Mike’s old suits, bringing back a memory of finding him in the closet playing dress-up, maybe in that very one. I’d laughed so hard I’d almost peed my pants that day. The material had dripped off his arms and legs like… well, not like it looked now. That’s for sure.

“Mom, are you okay?” he asked me for the second time that day.

He definitely wasn’t that little boy anymore. He didn’t even look like a teenager. He looked like a frickin’ man. How the hell did that happen?

I shook myself out of it. “Yes, all set. You look very nice, very professional. You’re gonna do great today.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

We climbed into the car and I backed out of the garage. I couldn’t help sneaking peeks at him.

“Something wrong?”

“You just look really grown-up, that’s all. I haven’t figured out how to deal with it yet.”

He laughed. “Yeah, you’re a little weirder about this stuff than Dad.”

“How is it going over there, by the way?” It was nice to have the time to talk to him, however brief. He’d been gone a lot that week, seeing Mike, visiting friends, going on his interview Tuesday that turned out “decent enough.” But we planned to do more catching up the following week.

“It’s been cool hanging out with him. Candace hasn’t been around much. She mainly stays in her room. But Dad and I went out a couple times, shot some pool and watched a few spring training games. He’s getting us tickets for opening day.”

Dammit. I wanted to take him. Stephen already planned to get tickets through work. As long as the weather cooperated, we’d tailgate first and then sit in the luxury box. Just like we used to do.

“That’s nice,” I said. Grrr…. “Is Candace feeling all right?” I remembered Mike saying she wasn’t well the previous weekend.

“I think so. It’s hard for me to look at her too long. Her lips creep me out.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. Candace had lips that defied physics. Like a bumblebee’s wings, they should’ve been too heavy for her to function. Yet somehow, she was still able to open her mouth. Would it be inappropriate to laugh since she was the one who kept inflating them? It wasn’t as if she was born that way. Hmm… probably still wrong, since Daniel never liked her too much to begin with. I was supposed to be mature and gracious.

Why should I stoop to Mike’s level, even if he was probably saying shit about Chase? God, I wanted to ask Daniel so badly what Mike had told him already. I could just imagine, and it made me sick. No, unless Daniel brought it up first, I’d refrain from that too.

And besides, who was I to make fun of her collagen addiction when I’d blasted my boobs all to hell?

“You said after the interview, you’re going to see Jason for a while?”

“Yeah, but I’ll be back later tonight.”

“If you’re drinking, I don’t care how little, do not drive home tonight. Understood? I’m fine without a car in the morning.”

“Not a problem since I don’t drink.”

“At all?”

“Nope.”

“Well, then… good for you.”

I tapped my fingers on the wheel. Wait a minute. “What about weed?”

“Mom.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“No, Mom. Except for the occasional hit of meth, I’m clean.”

I jerked my head towards him and he started laughing. Humph. We joked a bit after that, and it felt like time went way too fast. Before I knew it, we’d arrived.

“I remember seeing this place before,” he said. “But I didn’t think it was a school. It’s tiny.”

“Definitely not what you’re used to, but it’s great. Would you like to come in with me a sec? Say hi to Chase?” They hadn’t talked since family dinner night.

“No, I really should take off. I want to grab some breakfast on the way.”

“There was food at home.”

“I know. I wasn’t hungry then.”

“Okay.” I handed him the keys. “Good luck. I can’t wait to hear how it goes.” I pulled the I-Pass out of the console and stuck it on the windshield. “Don’t forget about this. It’ll save you lots of time.”

“I know, Mom. Thanks. It hasn’t been that long.”

It just feels like it. We got out and I grabbed all my snow stuff from the back seat, giving him a quick hug before he took over my spot in the driver’s seat. I looked back once, smiled and waved before opening the front school door and entering the lobby.

School hadn’t started yet, so the halls were pretty deserted. I went to the office, sticking my head through the window. “Hi, Sue.” I’d found it best to greet the fun-sized woman first whenever I came here. Otherwise, she’d pop up out of nowhere and scare the hell out of me. She didn’t mean to; she was just tiny enough to never see coming.

Sue looked up from her chair. “Oh, hi, Jillian. Helping out Mr. Nolan’s class today? I hope you’re dressed warm enough.”

“Yes, I’m all ready to go.”

“Have a wonderful time.”

“I will. Thanks.”

I smiled as I walked down the hall to Chase’s room. He was at the end of a short hallway. The school was small enough to act like a big family, and I’d been a part of that since seeing Chase and helping out when able. It was all good, for the most part. But just like a real family, there were those you loved and those you wanted to smother with a pillow. Fortunately, my smother list was super short: One. And she was nowhere in sight.

I peeked around the door and felt the familiar rush. Chase had his back towards me, so I quietly crept inside, intent on surprising him.

“Hi, love.”

Damn. I’d never successfully sneaked up on him yet. He turned around, his lips curved high, bringing my attention there. I still felt strange kissing in his classroom, even if no kids were around.

“How’d you know it was me?”

“I know when it’s you, Jillian.” He opened his arms. “Come here.”

I always wondered if he could detect my scent the same way I could his. It was the ultimate aphrodisiac; if only I could bottle it for the times we were apart.

“Mmm….” I fell against his chest, forgetting all about mine until I squashed the wrong way. “Ow!” I guess pressure was the enemy now.

“I’m sorry. Too hard?”

God, never too hard. He never had to apologize for holding me tight. I was the one with the issues.

“No, I just put something new on my skin and I had a reaction to it. It’s getting better.”

He placed his hands on the sides of my face and brought his lips to mine, making me forget once again. Just because I felt strange kissing there didn’t mean I wouldn’t do it.

He pulled back, stroking my cheek. “Thanks for helping out.”

“No other parents volunteered since you asked me?”

I knew that parents were always the first choice because they liked chipping in and contributing to the class whenever they could, but when he didn’t have enough sign-ups, he’d ask if I was available.

“Other than Jaden’s dad, no. So I appreciate it. I really needed another chaperone or else I would’ve had to cancel.”

“Are you kidding? I love it. But, sledding? How’d you get away with that? It doesn’t sound very music-y to me.” A jazz exhibit at the museum, a string concert in the park—now those excursions made sense.

“We’re going to Baker’s Hill in Waukesha. I’ll give you one guess how I can tie that in.”

I laughed, shaking my head. I loved the way his mind worked. “The birthplace of Les Paul. You’re lucky they allow you such liberties with your teaching methods.”

“Hey, it’ll be educational and fun. That’s what I’m all about. We’ll learn a little history about one of the greats, his contribution to music. Then we’ll take a ride down one of the very hills he could have used as a child.”

“Creativity is sexy, Mr. Nolan.” And fuck, so was he. I wanted a full day and night with him, doing nothing but naked.

He rested his forehead against mine. “Damn, I miss you, Jillian.”

“I miss you too.” It didn’t matter that we’d had our ‘nooner’ the day before. It still wasn’t enough. I felt like we were scheduling in our sex during specific blocks again, and I didn’t like that. Now that I was over that stupidity, I never wanted to go back.

“Do you think it’s wrong for me to rearrange my—our—life because Daniel’s home? I mean, he’s an adult, right? Shouldn’t he be fitting into my schedule instead of the other way around? It’s just that….”

He took both my hands in his. I checked the time; we had to physically separate soon. “No, I don’t think it’s wrong. It hasn’t even been a week yet. You’re a wonderful mother, Jillian. You’re handling this in a way that makes you comfortable, and I’m good with that. Daniel needs to get to know me better before I’m sharing your bed all night.”

“That was exactly what I needed to hear, Chase. I love you so much,” I said quietly. I wanted to add “Never leave me,” but that sounded too needy. But he was so supportive and understanding; I just couldn’t imagine not having him in my life forever.

A knock on the door startled me, and I yelped. Chase tugged a strand of my hair, chuckling. “You have no idea how much I love you back. I’m counting down the days until we can move on with our lives and have it all. Together.”

He went for the door, and a jolt of sensation sizzled through me. His words had power. I wasn’t sure exactly what he meant by “move on,” but as long as it was together, I was a happy woman.

His unconditional support, his strength to put my needs first, his unwavering commitment to our relationship. He thought I had no idea how much he loved me back.

I had some idea.