I got home and literally dragged myself into bed around 8:00 a.m. Put both arms in front of me, grasped onto the mattress and pulled my limp body in. I had a couple hours to sleep, and I prayed I’d miraculously wake up refreshed and full of spunk.
Exactly like Perry had been at six that morning when she’d bounded out of bed, landing inches from my head. She’d made a full recovery. One positive to come out of the shit storm.
It felt like only seconds had passed when I started taking a sledgehammer to the brain. The bright sun was spreading its love by stabbing jagged rays straight through my closed lids, and I couldn’t ignore it anymore. All I wanted to do was cry, then go back to sleep for a full week and one day. I’d wake up beautifully relaxed right about when Chase was coming home from New York.
Stop being such a wimp, Jillian. Fucking get it together. I had to make it a good day for Perry since she’d missed out the previous night. It wasn’t as if I’d never handled barely any sleep before. I’d just handled it better when younger. Consider it practice for a baby. Fuck. I could not start stuffing in those thoughts now or my skull would completely shatter. One thing at a time.
Right then I had to put all my energy into getting into the shower. I rolled over and my foot hit something solid. I finally opened my eyes a crack to notice a fuzzy form at the foot of my bed. I screamed bloody murder. I couldn’t think straight and was operating on instinct.
“Shhh… Jillian. Stop yelling. It’s me,” the voice came softly right into my ear.
“Chase?” I rubbed my eyes hard and brought him into focus. “Chase, what are you doing here?”
I’d only expected to talk to him, not see him until later that night when we gave each other a proper goodbye.
He wasn’t answering me. Or at least I didn’t think he was. I rubbed my ears hard too. “Chase?” I attempted to prop myself up on the pillows. Wow, he kinda looked like… shit. The only time he’d looked like that was when we’d broken up. “Are you okay?” I asked, knowing that I probably looked far worse, shit left to fester in the hot sun for days, teeming with maggots.
“Not exactly, Jillian.”
“Oh my God, what’s wrong?”
He sat back at the edge of the bed, hands in his hair like he wanted to rip it out in clumps. The foulest taste came into the back of my throat, and I felt myself gag. I trusted him, but what if something happened? What if he was there to make a confession? No. That was fucking ridiculous.
“What’s wrong?” he said, tossing his phone across the bed. It slid against my leg. “What’s wrong is sitting here waiting for you to wake up and tell me what the fuck is going on.”
“Chase?” My head had been murky before, but now it was submerged in swamp water. “Going on with what? And why do you sound so upset?”
His fingers resumed their place against his scalp. “Take a look, Jillian. Then explain to me why I’m so fucking upset. Because I’d sure as hell love to know that answer too.”
I picked up his phone, starting to seriously question if this was all a dream, when my eyes took in the picture covering his screen. My brain couldn’t even process it yet. I simply just stared for a minute like it was a video moving in slo-mo. The pieces began linking together one by one, and by the time it all coalesced, I was practically puking on the floor.
“Chase, I….”
I what? What the fuck was I supposed to say? Because it looked bad. Really, really bad. He got up and started pacing the room. I could tell his head was thumping just as badly as mine by the way he smashed his palms into the sides.
“It was a misunderstanding, Chase. They were strippers and… and they weren’t supposed to be there. It’s not what it looks like.”
How fucking idiotic did that sound? It’s not what it looks like. The most famous fucked-up words ever. But in my case, it was true. I scrambled to turn my messed-up thoughts into something meaningful. Something he’d understand and believe. Because he had to believe me. He had to because it was all fucking true.
He stopped and faced me. “Then what exactly is it, Jillian? Because to me, it looks like you’re getting undressed by two naked men in a fucking hotel room and you’re enjoying the fuck out of it.”
I reached down and pulled up my little wastebasket. I was going to be sick, no doubt about it. This is bad, this is bad, this is bad.
My body started to rock a bit like I was in the mental ward. Think, Jillian. Fucking think already and use that goddamned brain of yours. I forced myself to look at the picture again. My dress was lifted up to my waist, the men were pressed against me wearing nothing but these fucking little Speedo things, and the bed was right behind us. The expression on my face was the worst of all. It must have been during a yell, but the camera had captured it like a laugh. The way my head was back and…. God, help me, it did look like I was enjoying it.
Wait a fucking minute. A picture? How in the fuck was there a picture? For the first time since seeing the image, I noticed there was a caption to go along with it:
I guess any young, hard body will do.
The blood rushed to my head so fast and strong I feared an aneurysm. All my desperation turned to pure, hot anger. “Chase,” I said calmly, the tone of my voice deceiving compared to the tornado ripping through me. “Did Cassie send this to you?”
“Does it really matter who sent it?”
“Yes, it fucking matters,” I screamed.
Well, that self-restraint lasted long. I wondered if Daniel was home. Then decided I didn’t care. This needed to be dealt with right here, right now, and if I couldn’t control myself, I didn’t care about that either.
“If you’re going to accuse me of something, the least you can do is give me all the details.”
He blew out a loud breath. His fists lost color. I understood the raw frustration, the pain. How much he’d probably bled since first seeing it. I’m surprised he was still standing. If the situations were reversed, I’d be throwing things, and I didn’t even feel jealousy as deeply as him.
“Did. Cassie. Send. This?”
“Yes.”
“Chase, I need you to sit down and listen to me.” God, he looked like crap, and that was a pretty impressive feat for him to accomplish. “Please. Now sit down.” I was seething. We should not be in this predicament. This was not a conversation we should ever been having.
“Give me a fucking minute, Jillian.”
One, two, three... I ticked off in my head. Fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty. Minute over.
“Dammit, Chase, I said please. I’m unbelievably pissed off right now but not at you. Even still, I’ll likely do a lot of screaming, especially if you don’t sit your ass down and listen to me.”
He sat at the edge of the bed, dropping his head in his hands. I guessed him to be extremely hungover, and all this shit was about fifty dozen extra nails to the back of the skull.
“Cassie set me up, Chase. I haven’t had the chance to figure out exactly how yet, but she did. No question. I was completely sober last night and remember everything. She admitted to hiring those strippers, and I was tricked into letting them into my room. That’s my own damn stupid fault, but that’s the only part I played in this. It all happened so fast. I’m amazed she was even able to get a picture. That look on my face? I was screaming at them to get the fuck off me. And that guy to the right? I think I made him sterile.”
“Where was Perry through all this?” he asked quietly after what seemed like an eternity.
“She was sick. Not drunk-sick, but sick-sick. Most of the night she was sleeping. She was out cold when this happened.”
I knew for a fact that if she were well and coherent, this wouldn’t have happened. She would’ve been my extra set of ears and eyes, and Cassie would not have gotten away with this. She was one fucking evil bitch.
I scooted down closer to him. “I can see for my own eyes how bad this looks, and my heart is shredding just thinking of what you had to be going through.”
Cassie. Must. Die.
I rested my head on his arm, tears welling up. “I would never hurt you like that, Chase. Ever. I would never ruin what we have, cheat on you for anybody in this world, much less random strangers. As horrible and disturbing as that picture looks, I need you to believe that with everything in you. I need you to believe me. I—” I couldn’t continue because the sobs were choking me out.
“I believe you, Jillian.”
“But….” He also sounded like he wanted to rip my head off.
He cradled my face in his hands. “I said I believe you.”
“You’re angry at me.”
He touched his forehead to mine. “No, I’m just angry. Do you think you’re the only one who’s extremely pissed off over this?”
“No.” Of course not. He had more than a right to be just as mad as me.
“Do you know where these guys are from, where I can find them?”
“No, Chase, just—”
“Do you have any idea what I’d like to do to them for laying their hands on you?”
“Chase.” I grabbed his hands and brought them down to my lap. “I know that Cassie put them up to this, somehow convinced them it was okay to do what they did. I don’t blame them. Not after I know what happened.”
“Don’t make excuses for them. They had no right to touch you.”
I sighed. He was right, and even if I didn’t believe that, I’d never be able to change his mind otherwise. Not when it came to something like this. But I didn’t want the situation to get any worse either.
“I’ll never see them again. Please, let it go.”
“No.” His jaw ticked, and I ran my finger over the rough edge. He pulled it to his lips, kissing the tip. “It was hard enough just dealing with that asshole Jeff threatening to touch you. Then I had to find out that someone actually did.”
“Jeff?” How did he suddenly come into this? Shit. “He was at the party?” I asked, already knowing the answer. “What do you mean threatening to touch me?”
“I need you to stay away from him, Jillian.”
“I already do. I never see him anymore.”
His jaw ticked again. “I mean it. If he comes around—”
I put my fingers across his mouth. I didn’t want him worked up all over again. “If he comes around, I’ll stay away, okay? But just know that Jeff has never been anything other than a gentleman to me. He’s not going to do anything.”
He pulled my hand down. “He’s a fucking prick, Jillian. Trust me on this one.”
I had so many unanswered questions hitting from so many directions.
“I have to go now, baby,” he said, wrapping his arms around me.
“Go? Now?” I knew I had to get moving too, but we felt unfinished. I still needed him there with me.
“I have some things to take care of. Not to mention ten hours of work to finish in five while trying to do it all at one-fifth capacity.”
“But I am still seeing you tonight, right?”
“I’m going to try like hell, Jillian.”
I pushed away so I could see his face. “Try? Chase, you’re leaving tomorrow for a week and after everything—”
“Don’t you think I hate knowing I’m going away and leaving you right now?” He stood, hauling me up with him. I must have felt like a lump of dead weight. “It’s fucking ripping me apart.”
“Chase, I need your word. I need your promise that you and me, we’re good.”
He hooked his fingers in mine, bringing one hand to his lips, then to his heart. “Baby, we’re good. Rock solid. I give you my vow.”
I inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly. We were good. His eyes showed the truth. Nothing had changed between us. Whatever Cassie had hoped to accomplish didn’t work.
So why did I feel that vise grip in my chest, that guttural fear gnawing in my stomach when he kissed me goodbye and walked out the door?
Nothing had changed, but nothing felt the same either.
“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my Goooooood.”
“Perry, deep breath. Please.” I was freaking out by her freaking out. She was going to hyperventilate. She was hopping around my office, taking rapid, short breaths, and I was starting to feel guilty for telling her. “You’d think you were pregnant from how you’re acting right now,” I said, trying to inject a little levity.
“No, Jills. That’d be something positive. New life and all that shit. Not like the hell I brought to yours.”
She finally flopped down on the chair after wearing herself out. Then her eyes misted over, ready to go to another extreme. She was all over the place, even more intense than usual, and I attributed it to pre-wedding jitters and nerves over all the last-minute stuff that had to get done.
I crouched in front of her, placing my hands on her knees. “None of this is your fault. Not one little bit. Got it, woman?”
“All that crap I spewed about being nice to her and keeping her close. What the fuck is wrong with me? I was basically pimping out your soul, encouraging you to be friends with the Devil.”
I laughed. “Perry, don’t you think you’re being just a tiny bit too hard on yourself?”
“No. I wasn’t even there for you last night.”
“You were sick!”
That morning at the hotel I had filled her in on everything that had happened during her comatose period. While she thought it was whacked, it was nothing compared to how she reacted when she heard the most recent events. Now she blamed herself.
“Oh my God, I was the one who invited her too. None of this would’ve happened if I’d just been the best friend I’m supposed to be.” She dropped her chin to her chest.
“You don’t think she would’ve found another way to hurt me? It would’ve happened regardless if she was invited or not. You don’t think the Devil is sneaky and resourceful?”
That earned me a slight curve of her lips. It was a start. “I was only trying to make your life better. I never intended it to backfire like that.”
“Of course you didn’t, Perry. That goes without saying.”
“I just thought you needed to redirect your focus to Chase and happier things because of… well, just because. You deserve that, Jills.”
“You can’t forget that she didn’t win. Her plan failed. That’s the important thing here, right?” Sneaky and resourceful. Those words popped back into my head, and I bolted up. “Holy fuck, Perry. You said you’re feeling completely better today. Don’t you think that’s odd?”
“Um, not really. I did sleep a lot. I got whatever out of me.”
“That’s just it—you slept a lot and really hard. Oh my God, do you think she drugged you to get you out of the way?”
She stood up and steeled her hands on my shoulders. “Jills, that’d sound a little nutballish even coming from me. She wasn’t even next to me to slip anything into my food.”
“Maybe she convinced the waiter to do it. You know, offered him a favor in return. I wouldn’t put it past that tramp.”
Perry rolled her eyes. If nothing else, I was getting her to come back. “Then what? Blow the maintenance guy so he’d screw up the temperature, have a threesome with the strippers so they’d kick it up a notch? All for what, a picture? Look, I know she’s an evil cunt and all, but you’re giving her too much power here.”
Yeah, I couldn’t let her do this to me, make me so crazy. But I also couldn’t stop obsessing about her endgame. Maybe it didn’t stop at Chase; maybe she wanted to declare me certifiable and send me to the loony bin. Really take over my life, and then she could have it all. Chase, Daniel, house, car, soft robes, delicious beer and food she’d touch and then carelessly toss aside—
“Stop obsessing, Jills.”
Argh. “Yes, you’re right. This is the last thing I should be doing right now. I’m exhausted, and my head is already muddy enough. I don’t need to contaminate it further with thoughts of her. But you better believe that as soon as she gets back from New York, my foot will be up her ass so deep she’ll—”
“Uh, Jills?” She clenched onto me tighter, her nails digging into my skin. “You know those super-hot fuck-me stilettos you have but never wear, with the sharp toe? You might want to go dig them out now.”
I followed her gaze out the big bay window. Walking up my driveway was a pair of cloven hooves. I couldn’t see the pointy tail but knew sure as fuck it was there sticking out of her innocent little floral skirt.
She was smiling and holding a gift. Smiling. Holding a Gift. I. Could. Not. Even.
That’s when I knew beyond all doubt we were dealing with a true psychopath.
Perry was already at the door. I grabbed hold of her arm and tugged her back. “No, I need to deal with this. Alone.”
“Jills, I’m not going to let her get away with this fucked-up shit. She’s already hurt you. She’s messing with my family big time and—”
“I’ll be fine, and you’ll get your turn. I promise. I….” I was just fucking blown away by her audacity; there were no words. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. The fact that she’s here at all?” I shook my head. Fucking insane. “I’ll have to figure it out as I go, but I need to be the one to do it. Please just join the guests for your party. I have to get out there and stop her before she gets to the door.”
Perry stared into my eyes, assessing me, before nodding and turning to the hallway that led into the main house.
I darted out my side office door, cutting Cassie off at the pass just before she got up to the front porch. The shower hadn’t officially started yet; the guests were still arriving, and my mom was graciously welcoming them while Perry and I chatted. I wouldn’t let Cassie fool my sweet mom with her sick smile. And I wouldn’t subject her to whatever shit was going to go down.
“Jillian?” Cassie squinted at me closer. “Is that you?”
“You know damn well it’s me.” I grabbed her by the elbow, steering her back down the front steps and around to the other side of the house where we’d have more privacy.
“I’m sorry, did that upset you? Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s just that you look kinda dreadful. I worry about you. I really hope you’re not coming down with whatever Perry had.” I dug into her harder. “Ow! What’s the matter? And where are we going?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I hissed softly. She was acting like she didn’t have a clue about anything. Shocked even. It took a hell of a lot of restraint to hold back from giving her brick imprints to the back of the head.
“Jillian, I don’t understand. Just tell me what’s wrong. Did you and Chase have a fight? I’m here for you, sweetie. I already told you I can be your shoulder if Perry’s not around.”
My mouth dropped so low I was munching on grass. I could work with bitch, but I did not know how to work with delusional, sociopathic mindfuck. My new main objective: Get Daniel far, far away from her, even if I had to send him back to Italy.
“What do you think you’re doing here, Cassie?”
“Why, coming to the shower, of course.” She scrunched up her face. “You’re acting strangely.”
I noticed another car pull up and I yanked her closer to the house, her arm scraping against the rough brick. I couldn’t be as loud as I wanted, but I could avoid the guests spotting us. She rubbed her red skin and gave me that bewildered ‘how could you do that to me’ expression. Either she was going to bust out her inner demon soon, or she was going to drive me so far out of my mind that I’d be drooling all over myself. Since straitjackets were not a good look for me, I was going to make fucking sure that it’d be the former choice.
“Strangely? You think? Maybe it was the strippers you set up to molest me.”
“Oh, Jillian. You’re so funny. Molesting you. I told you it was an accident. They were barely in your room.”
“Obviously long enough to take a picture.”
A look crossed over her face. Did she not think I knew about that yet? “That silly thing?” She waved her hand, laughing. “That was just a joke.”
“A joke? A fucking joke?”
She blinked her wide eyes. “Well, of course. What else would it be? A fun, silly little memory. Something we can laugh about later.” Her face turned somber, and she brought her hand to her mouth. “Oh, dear. I hope I didn’t cause any problems. I’ll make sure to clear it up with Chase this week.”
“Chase and I are just fine. No worries there.”
“Whew.” She swiped her hand over her forehead. “That’s a relief.”
“But do you know who’s not fine, Cassie? You and Daniel.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I don’t know what the fuck game you’re playing, but it’s finished. Do you hear me? I’m not going to stand by any longer and let my son get run over by some manipulative bitch. You’re out of his life now. I’ll make sure of it.”
Her demeanor started to shift. “I don’t think you know what you’re saying, Jillian. That illness must be catching up with you. Maybe you should skip the shower and just go lie down.”
“Whatever I do, along with the rest of my family, is no longer any of your concern. Now, get the hell out of my face because you’re not welcome here.”
“You’re making a mistake.” Gone was her smile, her lids narrowing. “Daniel’s in love with me. He told me himself. You wouldn’t want to hurt your only son like that, would you?”
“It’ll hurt him far worse to stay with you. He’s a smart guy. He won’t have any problems figuring that out. Because you were right about one thing, Cassie. You sure as hell aren’t good enough for him, and I’m going to make certain he knows that.”
We were done. I needed to get back to the party and away from the toxic sludge seeping into my yard. I began heading up the side, ready to round the corner to get to the back door, when she called out to me.
“I wouldn’t be so quick to leave, Jills.” I froze. Fuck you. “I know you wouldn’t want to miss what I have to say.”
I could hear her coming up behind me, and I could not have that. Shit. Was I going to end up having to call the cops just to make her leave my property? I could kick her ass out, but how was I supposed to keep her out?
I turned around and went back down. I could not have all those nice people inside privy to the ugly happening outside. “You need to leave.”
“Oh, I will. Don’t worry your haggard little head about that. You got to have your say. Now how would that be fair if I didn’t have mine?”
I steeled myself, reminding my brain that this was better. I’d take this real side of her over Little Miss Psycho Sunshine any day.
“Do you honestly think it’ll be that easy to remove me from Daniel’s life? You must have missed the part where I said he loves me. In fact, he loves me so much that I think he’d do just about anything for me. I imagine it’s the same kind of love Chase had for you.”
Her use of past tense didn’t escape me, but I wasn’t going to give her any satisfaction acknowledging it.
“Who do you think he’s going to side with here? The woman who’s an embarrassment because she runs around with a man half her age, or the woman he deeply loves and wants to marry someday?”
She was smiling, wickedness dripping from her mouth. I would not get riled, not when I knew she was going to say anything necessary to make me lose control. I’d let her finish her vitriol, and then she’d leave, or I’d quietly bury her in the woods. But whatever the outcome, I was strong enough not to give her the reaction I knew she hoped for.
“So, now that it’s clear that I’ll be keeping him, we can move on to the next subject—Chase.” Her lips curled higher. “Such a great guy but way too trusting for his own good. Although, I do believe that’ll all be changing soon. If you think for one second that picture didn’t do any damage, you’re more senile than I thought. His love has been tested. It’s already not the same as it was yesterday, and it’ll be even further gone by this time next week.”
“I’m needed inside, Cassie. Whatever other garbage you’re planning to shit out, I’d suggest you hurry up and do it. I’m not going to listen much longer.”
“Ah, she speaks. I was beginning to wonder if you forgot how.” She set the wrapped present on the ground, reminding me that she’d been holding it the whole time.
“You see, that wasn’t the only picture I took during your ménage. Only the most innocent.” She shook her head. “I told you it was all just a little joke. Too bad you didn’t want to listen to me. Too bad you couldn’t just leave things be.”
“I will not be threatened, Cassie.”
“But you should be scared. I highly doubt that Chase will appreciate seeing what else I have. They can’t be explained away so easily.” She started laughing. “I really am a lucky girl. Everywhere I go, things just seem to fall into my lap.”
I didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about, but my insides twisted painfully anyway. She was not to be underestimated.
“Daniel also told me about Chase’s impulsive side. Quite flattering, isn’t it? The way he’s willing to fight for you. I imagine how badly he’ll want details about the men you were with, and I wonder how far he’ll go to get it. You know him so well. What do you think he’ll be willing to do for me in exchange for information?”
She rubbed her lips. “Especially when his poor heart’s breaking, and he’ll do whatever it takes to stop the pain. But don’t worry. I’ll be there to comfort him all week, sharing those long days together. And if he’s hurting in the middle of the night, I’ll only be a room away.”
I couldn’t speak. I knew that once I opened my mouth, it’d all be over. I’d lose control, and then I’d either kill her slowly or I’d crumble to the ground. Neither was an option.
She clapped her hands together. “I’m so glad we had this little talk. You’re such a great listener, Jillian. Daniel will be thrilled to hear how well we’re connecting.”
With a big smile, she spun on her heel and skipped away. She didn’t get too far before my lips parted slightly and it spilled out before I could stop it. “You’re a fucking crazier bitch than I thought, Cassie, if you think you’ll ever have my son.”
Her loud, dramatic sigh was clearly heard, causing me to grind my feet into the soft ground to prevent them from running over and taking her down. I wasn’t a fighter, but I was so damn close to making that pretty face as ugly as what lay beneath it.
She turned her head. “I guess you’re not such a great listener after all. Weren’t you paying attention? I already have him. And if you think you have any influence over him, think again, sweetie. You’re not even his real mother.”
I felt the blow deep, everything liquefying inside me. She’d left after that, and I made it to the house while keeping all the swirling contained. Just barely. I darted to the unoccupied bathroom in the basement and dropped to my knees.