Monday 22nd January

I’m still feeling low today and mortified whenever I think of Hartley seeing me like that, at my lowest, but I have to keep wearing a fake smile as I have Clara’s make up trial with Florence. I feel strangely like a slut whenever I look at Clara, knowing just yesterday her fiancé was pretending to be mine.

‘Now,’ Clara, says halting Flo, ‘I want to know what products you plan on using. I have highly sensitive skin. I can only use MAC.’

Of course, Princess Clara has sensitive skin. I’m sure she only uses products made with unicorn tears and elf droppings.

Flo grimaces a smile. ‘Luckily for you, I have a wide range of MAC products. Now, what were you thinking about for your wedding look?’

She grabs the mirror, any excuse to look at herself. ‘I want full on glamour. I’m thinking dark smoky eyes and a blood red lip.’

‘Okay,’ Flo nods, giving me the quickest of glances. Only I can tell from it that she means to call Clara a high-maintenance whore.

She does her make-up, the whole time with Clara complaining that Florence wasn’t putting on enough make-up/too much make-up/spending too much time/not enough time.

‘Good luck planning her wedding,’ Flo snorts as soon as she’s left. ‘That’s one high-maintenance bitch.’

I blow out a held-in breath. ‘Tell me about it.’

‘And to think we’re cousins-in-law. If that’s how she treats me, imagine a normal make-up artist!’

I snort out a laugh.

‘What’s Hartley like?’ she asks, starting to pack away her kit. ‘He must be a saint to put up with her.’

‘He bloody well is! I know you didn’t get a chance to chat at the food tasting, what with you vomiting everywhere.’ I stop to smirk quickly. ‘But surely you’ve chatted before at some family function of Hugh’s?’

‘No.’ She shakes her head. ‘We don’t have much to do with them to be honest. I’m sure you can see why.’

‘Hartley’s a bit of an idiot really. I don’t think he even wants to marry her. Did you know that she proposed to him?’

Her eyes nearly bulge out of her sockets. ‘She did not! That’s so embarrassing.’

‘Alright,’ I snap, feeling slightly bad for her. ‘Not all men propose to us on our first date,’ I joke, reminding her how lucky she was to have found Hugh. Their engagement story still makes me laugh. They got engaged on their first date.

‘Still,’ she muses, ‘I’d rather die than propose myself.’

I think about the position Clara’s put him in. That’s why the guys are supposed to propose. They’re the ones that are so scared of commitment.

‘Yeah. I do feel sorry for him.’

Flo’s eyes become inquisitive. ‘Why are you blushing?’

‘Huh?’ I’m not, am I? I touch my cheeks, they do feel a bit hot.

‘You’re so blushing. Do you... fancy him or something?’ she asks, a grin playing on her lips.

Oh no, she’s onto me.

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ I snort. ‘He’s getting married.’

She scoffs. ‘Yeah, to someone you just said he doesn’t really want to marry.’

‘Well, that doesn’t matter,’ I insist, crossing my arms over my chest. ‘I’m their wedding planner. It’s my job to get them down the aisle without a hitch. End of story.’

‘Okay,’ she shrugs with a knowing smile. ‘If you say so.’

‘Don’t have Hugh hear you saying that. He says we’ve got to take special care of this couple.’

‘Really?’ she frowns. ‘Why?’

Uh-oh. I’m assuming she doesn’t know about Clara’s father lending Hugh money. I don’t want to get him in trouble and have her worrying. Especially in her condition.

‘Oh, just because... she’s his cousin.’

She snorts. ‘Whatever. I’m just glad they’re not close enough that we have to eat Sunday dinner with them. I’ve got to know her more today than I have all year.’

‘I’m sure she’s nice deep down.’

She giggles. ‘Deep, deep down. Anyway, I have some exciting news.’

‘Really?’

She beams at me, suddenly full of excitement. She goes into her purse and hands over a piece of paper to me. I look down to see a baby scan. No way!

‘You had a scan?’ I blurt out.

‘Yep!’ she squeals. ‘Only ten weeks, but they’ve assured me that everything is looking good.’

I throw my arms around her and squeeze tight. ‘I can’t believe you and Hugh are having a baby. It’s so weird when you see it in the scan.’

Her eyes mist over, completely overwhelmed. ‘I can’t believe it either. It feels so real now. Are you sure you’re okay about it?’

I frown, bewildered. I still feel so bad that she even has to consider whether I’d be happy for her.

‘Of course, I’m okay about it.’ I rub her arm with affection. ‘You’re my best friend and you’re having a baby. I’m so happy for you guys and no past grief will ever affect that.’

‘You sure?’ she checks, pulling me into a weird kind of side hug.

‘Of course. Do I miss Belle?’ Jeez, just saying her name causes physical pain to my heart. ‘Of course, but she’s sent down a little angel for my bestie. I can’t wait to meet them.’

Her eyes mist over. ‘I love you. We were hoping you’ll be godmother, if all goes well, of course.’

That nearly makes me cry, my throat clogging up. ‘Of course, I will. And don’t be thinking like that, everything will be perfect. I promise.’

Heartbreak can’t strike twice, right?

* * *

Tuesday 23rd January

I hold Anna’s hand as she lies on the bed, the nurse squirting the jelly onto her stomach. It feels so weird to think my bestie was here only a few days ago. I look down at Anna’s stomach. She has no bump whatsoever so far. I bet she’s not even taking prenatal vitamins.

‘I really need a pee,’ she whines, her face scrunched up in an attempt to hold it in.

‘I know,’ I nod with a smile. ‘It’s all that water you’ve drunk.’

‘Right,’ the nurse says, putting the wand onto her stomach, making Anna flinch. ‘Let’s have a look at baby.’

I really didn’t think it would be so difficult coming today, but the whole thing is just reminding me about Belle and the excitement I felt while carrying her in my stomach. It’s funny, but I wasn’t nervous at my first scan. And just as predicted everything went well. Nobody was to know what would happen.

‘Is everything okay?’ Anna asks, already the anxious mother.

‘It’s all looking fine,’ the nurse nods back cheerily. ‘From this I’d make your due date 7th August.’

At least it will be in the summer holidays, I can’t help thinking to myself.

Anna looks back at me with a nervous smile. ‘OMG, it all feels so real now.’

‘That’s because it is,’ I smile, taking her hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. ‘You’re going to be a mummy.’

Her face pales and she leans her head back on the bed, as if the realisation has hit her all at once. ‘Yeah.’

The nurse cleans her up quietly, having sensed the change in mood, and prints out some pictures for her.

We’re walking towards the car when I ask her. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘You mean, apart from being pregnant at sixteen?’ she asks, her eyes downcast.

I smile. ‘Yes, apart from the obvious.’

‘I just...’ she looks down at her stomach, her hand cradling it. ‘Seeing it, it’s made it all so real. I’ve got only six months to get my life together before this comes along. And right now, I can’t even imagine telling my parents.’

I sigh, placing a consoling hand on her shoulder. ‘You’re gonna have to come clean soon, you know.’

She blows out a breath, as if she’s been holding it since she found out she was pregnant. ‘I know. I just... I need a plan when I tell them. Not to be totally in the dark when it comes to how my life is going to pan out.’

‘And have you thought about what you want to do?’ I ask, trying not to sound too overly worried.

She shrugs. ‘The thing is that it’s all dependent on whether my parents want to help me. They could throw me out for all I know, and then I’m homeless with a baby on the way.’

I roll my eyes. ‘Anna, I’m not going to watch you go homeless. I’ll help in any way I can.’

‘Really? Do you have a place of your own?’ she asks, with hopeful eyes.

‘Err... no,’ I admit bashfully. ‘I did, but now I’m back at my mum and dads.’

‘Oh.’ She’s obviously worried that the grown woman giving her advice is living back with her parents in her thirties. Not exactly a role model to aspire to.

‘Look, I realise my life hardly sounds like the best in the world. And it isn’t, but that doesn’t mean you should lose heart.’

‘Okay.’ She doesn’t seem convinced.

‘I’ll drop you home and I think you should have a long think about how you’re going to tell them.’

‘Great,’ she snorts sarcastically. ‘Can’t wait.’