Saturday 27th January

Why I promised to come today when I knew I was going out with the girls, I’ll never know. They were throwing shots down my throat and forcing me to dance on the bar until two am when Mia called Troy and he magically appeared to drop us home. Those two are so bloody cosy. I really do wonder if she’s lying to us and is shagging him after all. Why else would he care so much? Apparently, he just wanted to make sure we got home safe. Unless he’s really that sweet. My trust in men is currently at an all time low.

They might be teenagers but watching the school kids dressed in their play outfits waving from their float has me almost tearing up, staring on emotionally like I’m watching my old class of five-year-olds.

I suppose in a way they are, they were once little kids and now they’re growing into little people. It’s scary to think about how quickly it happens. Then I think of Belle. She’d be three years old now. I force down the pain threatening to consume me. I’m too hungover to allow myself to get upset right now. Better to lock it back up.

Their float is decorated in the school colours of blue and yellow. Hobbycraft must be empty because it looks like all the crepe paper in the world has been used.

Other schools pass by with their floats too. They might only be going ten miles an hour, but they’re all basically stood on the back of a truck with not a seatbelt in sight. Health and safety would be all over this. You’d think with a school they’d have to stick to certain rules. I suppose when there’s the promise of a winner’s ribbon it’s easy to forget.

Hartley looks amazing on it, chatting away and laughing with his students. They really love him and who can blame them? I’ve only known him a few weeks and I feel almost obsessed with him.

I keep looking around for Clara but she’s nowhere to be seen. I don’t get it; it’s a Saturday. She can’t be working on a Saturday, can she? Its four pm and even I’ve managed to get someone to cover me for the rest of the wedding at The Duck and Goose. Thank God, I have staff I can rely on.

They’re just doing their final loop when suddenly their float starts gaining speed. Why the hell are they going so fast? If they keep this up they’re going to veer right into the other oncoming float. I watch in horror; they are.

Murmurs of concern go through the crowd, some parents screaming. The float just about scrapes past the other float, but heads straight towards the corner shop. Shit!

The whole crowd starts running towards it, but it’s too late. We watch in horror as it smashes into the corner of it, everyone being slung forward. I’m running before I can register the shock. Holy crap. Are they okay? Anna’s on that float. The baby!

By the time I get to it there’s a crowd of people already surrounding it. Paramedics from the first aid tent are trying to help everyone. The driver is slumped over the wheel. He must have had a heart attack or something.

I have to find Anna and Hartley. Make sure they’re okay.

I push past everyone’s terrified parents and rush to the front. I can’t see Hartley but notice Anna jump off the back.

I rush to her. ‘Anna! Are you okay?’

‘Yeah,’ she says, out of breath, her eyes still startled. ‘I’m okay.’

‘You need to be checked out by the paramedic anyway.’ I grab a passing one. ‘Excuse me, but she needs to be checked immediately.’

The paramedic quickly looks her over, clearly confused as she doesn’t have any clear injuries.

‘I’m sorry, madam, but we’re dealing with everyone by the severity of their injuries. She looks unharmed.’

My patience is running thin. What if something happens to the baby? I can’t let that happen because some stupid paramedic refused to see her.

‘But you don’t get it. She’s pregnant.’

Anna touches my arm. I turn to see her frozen in alarm, her big doe eyes wider than normal. She literally looks like Bambi caught in the headlights.

‘Anna.’

We both turn. I see who I was earlier introduced to as the headmaster. Oh no, did he hear me?

‘I hope to God I didn’t hear that right, Miss Giordano.’

‘Err...’

His face is murderous. I don’t even go to this school and I think I may have just peed my pants.

‘Get yourself checked out and then I want to speak to you back at the school.’ He turns and storms off.

What the hell have I done?

Anna's eyes quickly fill with tears. ‘What am I going to do?’

‘I’m so sorry, Anna! I was just worried about you.’

‘Excuse me, Miss,’ the paramedic says to her, ‘but we should check you over. If you’d follow me.’

‘It’s fine,’ Anna says to me on a heavy sigh. ‘They were going to find out eventually. It was inevitable.’ She turns and walks away with the paramedic, her shoulders slumped.

I don’t have the luxury of time to feel bad. I have to find Hartley and make sure he’s okay. I walk around the float and find him helping students down safely. When he turns I see he has a gash on his head which is slowly dripping blood down past his eye.

‘Hartley!’ I shout, running towards him. I throw myself against his chest, so pleased he’s okay. I quickly realise how inappropriate and over the top I’m being. I pull back and gesture to his head. ‘You need to come to the first aid tent.’

‘I’m fine,’ he shrugs. ‘I’m needed here.’

‘No,’ I insist, tugging on his arm like a petulant child. ‘There’s enough people here to help. You need looking at.’

He sighs heavily, rolling his eyes. ‘Fine.’

I drag him by the arm towards the first aid tent. I pull him into it and point to a paramedic fiddling with her thumbs. Jesus, has she not heard there’s been a major crash?

‘Help. He hit his head,’ I explain.

She thankfully jumps into action straightaway, asking all about it.

‘I’m afraid you’re going to have to have some stitches. You can go to the hospital or I can just do them quickly now?’

He looks to me, then back at her. ‘Just do them now.’

‘Okay.’

‘But...’ he turns to me with a pretend pout. ‘You’ll have to hold my hand.’

I smile and roll my eyes. ‘Fine,’ I snap, pretending to be put out.

I sit down across from him and let his large warm hand engulf mine. It feels so nice I have to stop myself from openly moaning like a complete nutcase.

Is it me or does he suddenly not look so confident? Was his joke hiding some truth behind it? Is he scared?

The paramedic starts prepping it and his grip tightens slightly.

‘Take my mind off it, will you,’ he says quickly, averting his gaze to anywhere but at the paramedic.

‘Okay, what do you want me to do?’ I literally have no party tricks I can pull out of the bag. I really wish I could juggle right now.

‘Talk to me about something.’

Christ, the pressure. It’s like my mind has gone blank with panic.

‘Err... I like bananas.’ He raises his eyebrows at me, amusement dancing in his eyes. ‘I… err... I like them a lot. I have them in my morning porridge and I love banana bread. Florence makes the best banana bread ever. I’ve tried to make it myself, but I have to let the bananas go really ripe and I’ve always eaten them by then. And I mean, I once ate so many of them that I was constipated for three days. So now I have to ration myself to one a day.’

He stares back at me, eyes wide with alarmed amusement.

‘You really are nuts, aren’t you?’

‘No,’ I say defiantly. ‘You’re the one that wanted me to talk to you. I could quite happily go off home and leave you here, but you wanted me to talk.’

‘Not about bananas.’

‘Well, I’m sorry if I don’t have a suitable, sophisticated subject up my sleeve, ready to whip out when someone I know gets a head injury.’

He squeezes my hand, as if to try to calm me down. ‘I’m sorry.’

I smile back, instantly forgiving him.

‘It’s just I didn’t think you’d tell me about being constipated.’

I burst out laughing. Blimey, what am I like? I have zero class.

‘All done,’ the paramedic says with a smile. I’d forgotten she was here for a minute. ‘But I do need you to keep a close eye on him for the next twenty-four hours. If he seems overly sleepy or complains of a bad headache contact a doctor immediately.’

I stare back at her. ‘Oh, I’ll tell his fiancée.’ I look shyly back at him.

‘Oh’, she says taken aback. ‘I’m sorry, I just assumed you two were together.’

Hartley takes his hand from mine in a hurry. ‘No, we’re just friends,’ he explains, the air suddenly thick with cringe-worthy tension.

‘Right, well will your fiancée be with you for the next twenty-four hours?’

‘I’m fine,’ he insists with a nod.

She smiles back sternly. ‘I didn’t ask that. I asked if she was going to be with you.’ Ooh, get this feisty bitch.

He sighs heavily. ‘No. She’s away with work for the weekend.’

Jesus, that woman is never home.

‘Ah,’ She looks back at him with concern. ‘Could you stay with your parents?’ she asks, cleaning up her kit.

He shrugs. ‘Nope. Both pushing up daisies.’

Pushing up daisies? Oh, he means they’re dead. That’s so sad. I’m so close to my parents. I can’t imagine them not being around.

‘What about some friends?’ I ask intrigued as to who’s in his inner circle.

‘They’re all away in Prague for a stag do. I didn’t go because of today.’

Wow, that’s dedication for you.

‘You could...’ I start.

‘What?’ he asks eagerly, chewing on his lip.

Crap. Why did I open my stupid mouth? ‘I suppose you could always come back to mine.’ Does that sound slutty? I’m just trying to make sure he doesn’t drop down dead.

‘It sounds like the only option,’ the paramedic agrees with a nod.

‘But...’ How do I tell him I still live with my parents? This is awkward.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asks, placing his warm hand over mine. He really needs to stop doing that unless he wants me to face fuck him.

I feel my cheeks redden. ‘It’s just that I live with my parents. Don’t get me wrong, they’d be fine with you staying, but it’s pretty embarrassing.’

‘No, it’s not,’ he says with a shake of his head.

‘I did move out; it’s just that I ended up moving back in,’ I clarify, trying to sound less of a thirty-two-year-old loser.

‘Don’t worry. You don’t have to explain yourself. I honestly don’t care.’

He doesn’t look embarrassed to know me, which is sometimes the reaction I get.

‘Great,’ the paramedic nods. She hands over a list of symptoms for me to look out for and dismisses us.

When we walk out of the tent we find that most people are off listening to the winners being announced at the other side of the green. I suddenly remember Anna.

‘Oh God, Hartley, I really dropped Anna in it earlier.’

He frowns. ‘With who?’

‘Your headmaster overheard me telling the paramedic she was pregnant.’

He smiles sadly, placing his hand on my shoulder. ‘Hey, don’t beat yourself up. You were only concerned for her.’

‘I just couldn’t bear for something to happen to the baby just because she was too embarrassed to tell them.’

He nods seriously. ‘You did the right thing.’

His hand squeezes my shoulder. It’s so brief, its over before a second passes, but it leaves a spark, a tingling feeling travelling all the way down my arm.

‘You’re a nice person. A great person actually.’ He looks into my eyes and it’s as if time sits still, a current passing between us that only we can feel.

Or maybe it’s just me and he feels nothing.

I force myself out of it with a shake of the head and gesture towards my car. We walk together towards it, tension still thick around us. I have no idea why. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one crushing here.

I go to unlock my car when he takes my hand. I look down at our intertwined fingers in disbelief. He yanks me, pulling me towards a nearby alleyway. What the hell is he doing?

He slams me hard against the wall, so hard that I cower away from him. I stare up at him in fear, but instead of seeing the expected anger looming in his forest-green eyes, I see something else I can’t put my finger on.

His hand cups my jaw. His eyes, alight with the emotion I can now pinpoint as lust, stare at me only for a split-second before he crushes his lips against mine. Those delicious lips: plump, soft and with the slight taste of mint.

He pushes his tongue into my mouth, caressing mine urgently. It’s hot as hell. Before I know what I’m doing I have my hands around his neck and I’m pulling at his hair, feeling so wild and wanton that I could rip it out just to have my claim over him.

His hands travel down my neck, underneath my hair, slowly over my spine until they’re on my arse. He pushes me into his hardness. Wow, someone’s a big boy. I gasp in surprise.

Wait, what the hell am I doing? This guy is engaged to be married! Married at my wedding venue. I’ve lost my mind!

I push him off with all my might, using every last shred of self-control. It takes him a while to realise and when he does he only pulls his body off me, his forehead tilting against mine.

His eyes stare intently at me. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says, out of breath.

My chest heaves up and down, my body short of breath and my mind whirling.

‘You’re engaged,’ is all I can answer back.

He sighs heavily, as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders. ‘I just... I couldn’t stop myself.’

I peel away from underneath him and escape under his arm.

‘Well you’re going to have to. I’m not that kind of woman.’ But my God, how I want to be.

He turns towards me, dragging his hand through his hair. ‘Trust me, I know that. That’s half of the appeal.’

I frown back at him. ‘What, because I’m some feeble woman who’s easy to manipulate?’ I cross my arms over my chest. What an arsehole.

HIs eyes widen. ‘No! Of course not. It’s just that you’re so different to Clara. You’re not the type of girl to attempt breaking up a couple.’

Hearing her name out loud feels like I’ve taken a bullet. That’s obviously why he thinks he fancies me. He’s scared of getting married and he’s deliberately looking for someone the exact opposite of Clara. You couldn’t get more opposite than me.

‘Look, I get it,’ I say with a nod, avoiding his penetrating gaze. ‘You’re having cold feet and you’re looking for an excuse to get out of it. But I’m not it.’

He takes a deep breath, as if to try to shake himself out of it. ‘It’s not that.’

‘Look, whatever it is, let’s just try to forget it happened, okay?’

He looks at me intently, so intently I fear I’ll set on fire. ‘Fine.’

I swallow down the lump in my throat, desperate not to burst into tears right here.

‘Okay, come on.’

He furrows his brows. ‘Come on where?’

‘My house,’ I answer, turning to walk back towards the car.

‘You still want me around?’ he asks, slowly following me.

I nod. ‘As long as you promise not to jump me,’ I say with a giggle. ‘I promised to look after you and I don’t break a promise.

He smiles, glad I’ve lightened the mood. ‘Okay. I promise.’