Monday 29th January

I still can’t believe it. I slept with Hartley! I woke up next to his gorgeous face and then remembered that he was mine now. I know I should probably feel terrible for Clara, but for once I’m trying to just worry about myself. And the fact that if Hugh finds out, I’m not only fired, but I’ll seriously piss off my best friend. Well, once she finds out what a risky mess Hugh has put them in.

I go to unlock the door to the pub when I find it open. That’s weird. Have we been broken into? I look around for a potential weapon, but the only thing out here is some potted plants. I try to lift one up, but it must be the weight of a baby elephant. There’s no way I’m getting that above my waist. Damn it.

The only thing I have in my bag is my phone. I take it out and look back at the door. Should I call the police? But what if it’s nothing and they tell me off for placing a prank call? No, I can’t do that. I hate being told off.

Instead I dial 999 just in case I need to call them quickly and hold it above my head, reasoning with myself that I can use it as a weapon. Desperate times and all that.

I creep in, making sure every little footstep is placed on the floor delicately to make as little noise as possible. This old pub creaks when the bloody wind blows.

I walk slowly in to find the cleaner stood behind Clara. Holy fuck. She knows.

‘Hiya, Nadine,’ the cleaner says cheerily. ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I let in Miss Blumenkrantz for your appointment.’

‘Oh... that’s fine.’ You just signed my death certificate, you silly cow.

Now that I look at her, she doesn’t actually look how I imagined. If I’d just been dumped by my fiancé, I’d no doubt have big red-rimmed eyes and bags under them from crying my eyes out all night. But she looks... normal. Impassive. She’s not even got the hard stare of someone about to kill somebody, which is what I can only assume she wants to do to me.

‘Clara, hi.’ I put my handbag down and twiddle with my rings to stop myself from having to look her in the eye. Actually, maybe I should have kept the handbag as a weapon. Crap, I knew I should have gone with Mia to those self-defence classes. But you never think you’re going to be viciously attacked, do you? You also never think you’re going to steal someone else’s fiancé, but that ship has definitely sailed.

‘Did you forget we had a meeting planned this morning to go through the flowers?’ she asks, seemingly oblivious to what’s happening to her.

Oblivious to the fact that I just spent the night with Hartley. There’s no way on this earth she can know about us. In the midst of the passion last night I actually forgot to ask him what he said to her. Whether I was mentioned at all. I bloody hope not.

Maybe she’s lulling me into a false sense of security before she pounces and rips my hair out. But either way she must know the wedding is cancelled. Right? She must be in shock. Complete and utter denial. Poor bitch.

‘Um, no, I didn’t forget. I just...’ I can’t make on like I know. Then she’ll know I’ve spoken to Hartley. ‘Yeah, I actually did forget. Sorry, few too many wines last night.’ I fake a laugh. It sounds so unnatural and squeaky. I hate myself.

I go to my desk and start to shuffle a few papers, playing for time. How can she be acting like normal? She doesn’t look like someone on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Her hair isn’t bedraggled, instead its blow dried to perfection. He did break up with her, right? He didn’t just tell me all of that yesterday, so I’d sleep with him? Get one last shag in before saying I do. The idea has me feeling dizzy.

Should I say something? Try to find out if she does know and is just being crazy. Ah, I know.

I start clicking around on my computer. I flinch my head back slightly, like I’ve just seen something that shocks me.

‘Oh, this is strange.’

She frowns, pouting her lips. ‘What is it?’

I grimace. ‘Uh, I’ve got an email here from Mr Valentine saying that the wedding has been cancelled.’ I tilt my head to the side and purse my lips, an intense silence settling over us.

Her chin wobbles. Oh no, she’s going to cry. I was not ready for this sort of emotion. Rage, yes. Upset, no. She bursts into tears, a bloody river flowing from her eyes.

As if I couldn’t feel worse about myself. This whole thing was far easier when I could think of her as a using monster, but now seeing her as just another woman dumped. Well, it’s got me feeling sick to my stomach.

‘He’s told me it’s over,’ she sobs, her mascara running under her eyes.

Looking at her like this, seeing the devastation I’ve caused first-hand is too much. I didn’t think I could feel any worse, but I was wrong. My chest feels tight, my throat thick.

‘I’m so sorry.’ It’s all I can offer. It doesn’t even come close to how remorseful I feel.

She droops her shoulders and sniffles. ‘I just don’t understand. It was all being sorted.’ Her shoulders jump up and down as more tears fall. ‘And we’ve told everyone. It’s going to be so humiliating having to tell them it’s cancelled.’

I cringe at the thought of it but can’t help but feel better that her biggest concern is people finding out. A normal person would be heartbroken that the person they thought was their soulmate didn’t love them anymore.

I swallow down the guilt, begging my quaking tongue to calm long enough for me to say something reassuring.

‘The right people will stick by you,’ I offer weakly.

‘Not my bloody fiancé!’ She throws her hand to her chest and rubs it as if having a heart attack. Probably just heartburn. ‘He’s off having some kind of quarter-life crisis!’

I really don’t know what she wants me to say to her. I’m awful in situations like this, especially when it’s my fault.

‘If it helps at all I can give you your full deposit back?’ I know it’s a pathetic offer when her life is crumbling around her, but I feel like I want to offer her something. I should really have checked with Hugh first, but I’m sure Flo can talk him round if I get her a pretty cupcake.

She sniffs, staring down at her hands. ‘It’s not about the money. I just...’ she looks up to the ceiling, her eyes glassy with yet more tears. ‘I had this future all planned out and now I feel as if it’s been ripped out from underneath me.’

Yeah, and I’m the carpet ripper. I have to speak to Hartley. I can’t be the cause of this woman’s misery.

* * *

When I get home, I’m surprised to find Anna waiting outside my door. How the hell did she know where I lived?

‘Anna?’ I ask tentatively in case she’s not here and the stress of the day has me hallucinating.

‘Hi.’ She smiles timidly, tucking her hair behind her ear.

‘What are you doing here? How did you even know where I live?’ Oops, I hope I didn’t sound too unfriendly.

‘Oh, I stalked you on Facebook. Yeah, you should really look into your privacy settings.’

‘Are you serious?’

She rolls her eyes. ‘Of course, I am.’

I walk past her to put the key in the door. ‘Well, let me boil the kettle and you can help me with it.’

‘Hiya, love,’ Mum shouts from the kitchen. Ah, she’s home. How the hell am I going to explain Anna?

I turn back to Anna who’s still stood sheepishly on the doorstep. ‘Well, come in then.’

She nods, swallows and follows me into the kitchen.

‘I’ve got a brew on,’ Mum says, turning to see us both. ‘Oh, I didn’t realise you were bringing a guest.’

I’m guessing she would have preferred Hartley, not a teenage girl.

‘Yeah, Mum, this is Anna. She’s from the school I’ve been helping at.’

Recognition registers on her face. ‘I see. Nice to meet you, Anna.’ She looks between the two of us. ‘Are you girls still working on something for the play?’

‘Err... no, actually,’ Anna admits, scratching nervously at her neck. ‘Nadine’s been helping me with something else. Something a bit more... personal.’

‘Ah,’ Mum says with a grimace. ‘Well in that case I’ll leave you to make the tea for us and I’ll go wait in the lounge.’

I smile back gratefully. ‘Thanks, Mum.’

As soon as she’s gone, Anna sits down at the table and smiles. ‘Your mum seems really nice.’

‘Oh, she is, bless her.’ Sometimes I take for granted how lucky I am to have her and Dad. ‘So anyway, what’s up?’

‘So, I told my parents,’ she explains, biting her lip.

I flinch. ‘How did they take it?’

She shakes her head comically from side to side. ‘To say they took it badly is kind of an understatement.’

I raise my eyebrows. ‘I’m gonna need a bit more than that.’

She sighs. ‘They’ve told me I’m to have the baby adopted. Otherwise I’m on my own.’

‘What do you mean, on your own?’ She can’t mean truly on her own, right?

‘As in they’ll kick me out,’ she clarifies, her head dropping slowly onto the table.

I scoff. ‘They can’t be serious. That must be an empty threat, surely?’

To give their daughter an ultimatum like that when talking about something as serious as a child. It blows my mind how heartless some people can be.

She shakes her head. ‘No, they’re very serious. They even want me to go stay with my aunt and uncle in Italy until I’ve had the baby. Don’t want the shame of everyone seeing.’

Jesus, what kind of parents are these? Some people don’t deserve the title.

‘But haven’t you told them you want to keep it?’

Papa Don’t Preach comes shooting into my head. I try to ignore it but find myself humming it ever so slightly anyway.

‘They don’t care. They’ve said I’m too young and the baby should be given to a responsible couple who desperately want a baby. And in a way, I can’t disagree with them. If they kick me out I have nothing and no-one.’

I can’t imagine feeling that desperate and alone. I may have been through shit, but I always knew that I had Florence and my family who would do anything to help me, regardless of the situation.

‘Well actually...’ We both look up to see Mum leaning into the room, having just said that. Has she been listening? ‘You do have options.’ She sits down at the table with us.

Anna raises her eyebrows at me.

‘So, you’ve been listening then, Mother?’ I laugh, unable to hide me being pissed at the intrusion of privacy. I’m trying to get Anna to trust me. ‘And what would your magic solution be?’

She shrugs. ‘Move in here. We can help out.’

My mouth drops open. ‘Mum, are you serious? I don’t think you should be offering things to Anna that you’re not one hundred percent sure about.’

What the hell is she doing offering this to her without even talking to me first?

‘I’m sure,’ she nods confidently. ‘How could I live with myself knowing this girl wants her baby but is being forced to give it away?’

‘I don’t even know you,’ Anna says warily. ‘But you’d just take me in?’

She nods, a kind smile on her lips. ‘Every child is a blessing, Anna. We have a spare bedroom and I can tell just by Nadine’s face that she’s taken with you. Let us help you.’

She bursts into tears. ‘How can you be so nice when my own parents treat me like a stupid child?’

I rub her back. ‘Because my mum is pretty amazing. I think they broke the mould when they made her.’ She smiles back at me, wiping at her tear-stained face. ‘Why don’t we arrange to see your parents and have a chat with them? I’m still not completely convinced that they’ll kick you out.’

‘And if they do?’ she asks, fear settling in her eyes.

I look to Mum. She nods confidently. ‘Then we pack a bag and get you out of there.’

I just hope to God Dad’s on board with the random pregnant teenager potentially moving in.