I go straight round his even though my shoes are still yucky with vomit. I only managed to rinse them with water. They really need to go in the bin, but they’ll do for now.

Mia’s promised to look after Florence and take her home. I need to see Hartley and find out what the hell he’s playing at standing up Clara on their wedding day. Even I didn’t think he was that heartless.

Leaving my shoes in the car, I walk up the stairs to his apartment barefoot. I’m aware I’ll look crazy, but hell, I’m past that now.

I knock on the door, my stomach sick with fear. He might not even be here. He could be halfway round the world by now, but something tells me he’d stick around. Hartley wouldn’t just leave his students like that.

He answers the door, his hair wayward and down. His eyes widen when he spots me.

‘Nadine?’ he croaks, his voice is as if he hasn’t spoken for days. ‘What are you doing here?’

I lean on one hip. ‘What are you doing here, more like? You’re supposed to be getting married.’

He frowns. ‘You know full well I split up with Clara weeks ago. What the hell are you talking about?’

What the hell is going on here?

‘Yeah, but... you got back together,’ I explain with a nod. ‘You were supposed to show up today.’ Wait, now I’m more confused. He keeps looking back at me with a grimace.

‘Nadine, I literally have no idea what you’re talking about. I think you should come in.’ He holds the door open. Is this a trick? What the hell is happening here?

I walk in and sit on the edge of the sofa.

‘Why do you have no shoes?’ he asks with raised eyebrows, the hint of a smirk on his lips.

‘I think I’ll be the one to ask the questions, here, bucko.’

Bucko? Who am I?

‘Okay.’ He stands, his arms folded over his chest. ‘Go ahead.’

I take a deep breath. ‘Did you get back together with Clara?’

‘No.’ He didn’t look to the left or the right when answering. I forget which side it is that tells you if they’re lying, but in this case, he kept eye contact. That must mean the truth, right?

‘Not, ever?’

‘Never.’ He shakes his head. ‘She’s persisted in trying. Even told me to turn up today and marry her, but she’s crazy. I’ve told her I don’t love her and that I wouldn’t be doing it. If she’s nuts enough to carry on with the wedding, that’s nothing to do with me.’

Wow, so he really didn’t run back to her. Could it be that he does still love me?

‘But, I thought...?’

‘You thought, what?’ he asks, his eyes drooped. ‘That I’d just go running back to her after you told me it was over? Nadine, how many times do I have to tell you? You weren’t just some distraction from getting married. You’re the real thing, the queen of my heart. I love you, and I don’t care if it takes you years to realise it. Whenever you do, I’ll be waiting. I’d rather have no-one than someone I’m not completely crazy about.’

Wow. That guy can give a speech.

‘You... you love me?’ I can’t help but gasp.

‘Of course, I do.’ He sits down next to me. ‘Why do you have so much trouble believing that?’

I think back to Joshua. He said he loved me but then was quick to leave me in my moment of need.

He deserves to know the whole story. Then we’ll see if he really wants to stick around.

I take a deep breath. ‘Look, you have to understand that I come with a lot of baggage. Like a lot.’

He grabs hold of my hands. They feel amazing in his large warm ones. ‘I’ll take it all. Just tell me. Are you...’ he swallows hard, ‘back with your ex?’

I scoff. ‘No! of course not.’

‘But you said...’

‘I only said that so you’d go back to Clara and marry her. I couldn’t live knowing I’d broken up your relationship.’

‘That’s one of the reasons I love you. Always thinking about everyone else, but never yourself. But, I need to know, are you really over your ex?’

‘This is where it gets complicated.’

He squeezes my hand. ‘I’m listening.’

I take a deep breath and force myself to tell him the one thing that gives him the power to break me. I know now that if I bare my soul to him and he rejects me it’s going to hurt like nothing else.

‘Me and Joshua were together five years when I fell pregnant.’

His eyes widen to twice the size, but he quickly attempts to recover.

I carry on, wanting to get it out before I chicken out. ‘Even though it wasn’t planned we were over the moon. We’d never been happier. But that all changed when Belle was born.’

‘What happened?’

A tear slips down my cheek. ‘She... she was born a sleeping angel. She died while still inside me.’

His face drops, his mouth ajar. ‘Oh my God.’

I crush my eyes shut, attempting to block out the pain. The memory of it that feels like just yesterday.

‘I can’t even begin to describe to you how devastated we were.’ He nods, rubbing my hand with his thumb in reassuring circles. I look down at our hands, unable to look him in the eye anymore. ‘He blamed me.’

‘Huh?’

I nod, still not wanting to look into what I know will be his heartbroken eyes.

‘He did. He never said it, but I knew he did. He was always asking me how many times I’d felt the baby move each day and I always told him to stop fussing. Maybe if I’d have noticed she wasn’t moving sooner, I could have got myself to hospital and saved her.’

‘You couldn’t have known,’ he says in soothing tones, rubbing my back.

‘Well, anyway. We didn’t last long after that. Three months later he was with a new girlfriend and now she’s pregnant.’

‘Oh my God,’ he gasps. I look up to see him reacting as if he’s been punched in the stomach: hunched over, his eyes pained.

‘Yeah, he moved on pretty quickly.’ I notice that my hands are shaking just re-telling it. ‘Or at least that’s how it felt for me at the time. I’ve since realised that he was just as devastated as me, but I was selfish. I wanted him to be in as much pain as me. So, you see, in a way, I’ll never be over him. What we went through has bonded us forever.’

He throws me into a hug, his warm chest and the sound of his heartbeat calming me almost immediately.

‘I’m so sorry that happened to you.’

‘Don’t you see? I’m screwed up because of it. It’s left me with trust issues and that’s before me falling for a man that was engaged to another woman. I’ll forever be suspicious of you.’

He pulls me back by my shoulders, his earnest eyes penetrating mine. ‘I don’t care. I’ll spend the rest of my life reassuring you that you’re the only woman for me.’

What is it about his eyes that make me believe everything he tells me? It’s probably more the fact that I’m in love with him.

‘There’s another thing, though.’ I steel myself, trying to ready myself for his reaction. ‘I know you want kids and... it’s not that I don’t want them, but I’m not sure if I can… you know, put myself through that again. What if it happened again? I wouldn’t survive it the second time.’ A sob escapes my mouth.

He shakes his head. ‘I don’t care. Whatever happens we're together. You’re it for me, Nadine. Anything else is just a bonus.’

I smile, collapsing into his arms, feeling the safest and most loved I have in my entire life.

* * *

Two Years Later

I watch my flower girls walk down the aisle in front of me. Elizabeth, Hugh and Florence’s daughter who I’m proudly godmother of; and Anna’s daughter, Amelia. They’re both over a year now and absolutely adorable. Between them they hold a balloon with Belle’s name on it. My way of including her in our day.

A year ago, on Valentine’s day, Hartley surprised me by filling our apartment with red roses and got down on one knee to propose with a heart-shaped, pink diamond ring. It was the happiest day of my life, but it's quickly being replaced by this one.

My page boys, Lydia and Jason’s twin boys Carter and Benson, follow the girls down the aisle, shoving playfully at each other. The little rascals cause so much trouble wherever they go, but I love them so much. I couldn’t have not involved them.

My bridesmaids: Mia, Kelly, Anna and Lydia, walk down next in their red-wine coloured, floor-length dresses, the pink personalised opal necklaces I bought them around their necks. They look amazing.

Anna’s still living at my parents' house and managed to complete her GCSE’s and AS Levels at a local college. It’s been hard for her, but she’s forever grateful that we gave her the option of keeping Amelia.

Her mum started visiting in secret when Amelia turned one but hasn't told her dad who is still adamant he wants nothing to do with her. Stupid fool.

With Hartley’s surname being Valentine and him choosing Valentine’s day to propose we decided to go into the theme rather than fight it. Is it cheesy? Of course, but it feels more personable to both of us.

‘You ready?’ Flo asks me, fluffing the train of my white lace dress. It’s the first dress I tried on and I just knew instantly. From its V neckline with its illusion straps accented with lace appliques to its whimsical layers of dotted tulle and Chic organza. It was impossible for me not to fall in love with the vintage inspired beauty.

I smile back at her. ‘More than ready.’

She gives me a quick hug. ‘You look amazing, but then I did hear that someone with mad skills did your make up.’ She winks and turns to walk down the aisle.

She really has made me look unbelievable. I have old Hollywood glamour red lips, the rest of my face mostly natural apart from the subtle gold sheen of eyeshadow that brings out my blue eyes.

Dad takes my arm. ‘I’m so proud of you, my love.’

‘Really?’ I grin, holding on extra tight to my bouquet of pink and red peonies, different variations of pink and red roses, hypericum berries and eucalyptus. ‘Even with the way we started?’

I still cringe when I think of us bumping into Dad in our upstairs hallway.

‘Even with the way you started,’ he nods. ‘True love doesn’t always have a smooth course, but you’ve made it. You’re marrying the man of your dreams and I know he’s going to do a good job looking after you.’

I really am.

The music changes to "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran, and Dad starts walking me down the aisle. Everyone turns in their seats to watch us descend, their faces illuminated in the candlelight. I can’t help but feel terribly self-conscious, my cheeks heating, until I hear things like "stunning" and "beautiful". Then I spot him. My Hartley.

He turns, and everything feels one hundred percent better. He looks breathtaking in a navy-blue suit, his white shirt open at the collar. A single red rose is in his top pocket. He smiles at me as if I’m the only person in the room and my heart explodes.

The whole ceremony goes by fast and is a bit of a blur. Before I know what’s happening we’re walking back down the aisle and having heart shaped confetti thrown over us.

We make our way into the Duck and Goose reception room. Of course we had to have our wedding here. Hugh did some major grovelling after the fiasco that was Clara’s wedding day and I’m now his official partner in the business.

Thankfully, Hugh’s grandma had a word with her son and granddaughter Clara. Told them in no uncertain terms that they’d be written out of her will if she heard they’d been slagging off Hugh’s business. I think her dad was so mortified by the whole thing he was glad to just forget about it. Hugh managed to eventually pay him back his money too, so he doesn’t feel he owes him anything anymore.

Jill immediately hands us glasses of champagne with strawberry heart shaped ice cubes floating inside. I look around in triumph at the giant candelabras adorning the tables decorated with red and white roses. Love hearts are scattered over the tables like confetti. The name cards are written on Queen of Hearts playing cards. Heart shaped bunting made from pages of Romeo & Juliet, the play I helped Hartley with at this school, hangs from the ceiling. It’s perfect.

We’ve gone for a laid back buffet with almost everything heart shaped: sandwiches, sausage rolls (who knew you could make them heart shaped!), mini pizzas (the first meal we shared together), and a chicken curry. Random I know, but it's all of our favourites and this way we know the kids will eat something.

The dessert table is where my heart really lies. It’s adorned with heart shaped macarons, raspberry white chocolate cheesecakes, jam tarts; basically as many desserts as you can imagine, before you come across our wedding cake. It’s white and simple, with matching flowers from my bouquet adorned on the side. But struck through it is a gold cupid’s bow.

This whole wedding has been so close to being trashy and classless, but it's all tied together perfectly.

Hartley stops at our top table to kiss me again, his hand finding my stomach. I smile, but quickly push it away. We don’t want anyone to know about our little miracle baby boy growing there.

We plan to announce it later tonight during the speeches. Of course, I’m scared the same thing will happen to him that happened to Belle, but according to the doctors there’s only a two-point-five percent chance of it happening again. Don’t get me wrong, that hasn’t stopped me obsessing over it, but as Hartley says, that’s ninety-seven-point-five percent chance of everything going fine. Of me holding my healthy baby boy in my arms and him growing up in a loving family home that me and Hartley created. Of telling him about his older sister Belle, who’s soul was too beautiful for this earth. Of being able to tell him all about how I got to marry Mr Valentine.

* * *

Six Months Later