MANDY
He moved towards me and lifted my chin up for a kiss. I didn’t pause like I had before. I needed the assurances that his lips could give me and like every time that he had kissed me in the past, the world stood still for us and I lost track of time that was passing me by. Neither one of us heard the door open or close, or saw Alfie standing there.
“Mom?”
I pulled away so quickly that it left Greg a little dazed and confused. I was sure that there was something that I was supposed to be saying, some way to explain myself, but I couldn’t manage to get anything out of my mouth. There was a part of me that wanted to hide, but I knew that it wasn’t an option. I wasn’t going to be able to do anything else, but what I said that I was going to do. Greg wanted to meet his son and Alfie wanted to know who his father was. It was going to be two birds with one stone if everything went the way that it was supposed to go.
“Sorry Alfie. I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Who is that?”
I could see that the who that he was wondering about was Greg. The likeness was even worse when the two of them were together. The eyes were both emerald and about the same intensity of color. They had the same look in their faces as they studied each other and I wondered if Alfie knew who he was. Was there a part of him that knew that Greg was his father? I wondered for a moment if he did by the way he was looking.
“This is, uh well Alfie, this is…” I couldn’t make my mouth say the words that were aching to come out. I don’t know why, but there was something holding it back like it had all of those years.
“I am your father, son. My name is Greg.”
I couldn’t believe that he said it like that, but I was thankful in a way because now I didn’t have to. Looking to Alfie, I could tell that the words were shocking, but I think part of him knew that it was true. He looked just like him and it had to be a little disconcerting to see someone that looked so like him.
“You’re my father?”
He asked the question into the room more than to me or to Greg. Greg shook his head anyways and waited. I could see that he wanted to go to him, but there was still confusion in Alfie’s eyes. I wished that it would have been done differently, but I was afraid that I would have never gotten to it. I hadn’t managed to in all of those years. Now it was out and in the open, ready to be dealt with no matter how hard it was going to be.
“Mom, is this true?”
I told him that it was and moved to give him a hug. He backed off a little bit and it hurt to see the distrust in his eyes.
“Yes it is true Alfie. I wanted to tell you another way, but what Greg says is true. I knew him a long time ago and I just told him last night about you. He never knew about you until last night. I am sorry that I didn’t tell you both sooner.”
I was stammering and blabbing again, I could hear it in my voice, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I wanted everything to be okay and for my son to stop looking at me like that. I had never felt so bad in my life and I was still off kilter a little bit because of Greg’s kiss that morning.
“Why don’t you get us something to drink Mandy and I will finish up breakfast?”
Nodding my head, I could tell that he was letting me off the hook. I knew that it was going to be harder with Alfie who was still staring at Greg like he was going to vanish at any moment. What had I done and why had it been so long for me to figure it all out?
I went to the refrigerator and let the two men continue to stare at each other. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. It was hard to act like I wasn’t in the middle of it, but I was trying to do as Greg suggested. He started to talk to Alfie, asking him questions and I could tell that my son was feeling him out. It didn’t take long for the two of them to realize that there was a lot that the two of them had in common.
When I got a couple of glasses filled with juice, I realized I needed to add another one and it was a pang in my heart for a moment. I was just full of emotions and I was trying my best to hold it all together.
Setting the table, I was relieved to hear the conversation between the two of them. It was clear that it was going to be an easy transition and before long it was like they were two peas in a pod. I knew that it wasn’t always going to be this way, but there was a part of me that was okay with it. Alfie had a reason to be mad at me and I knew that he would forgive me eventually. I wasn’t sure about Greg, but it didn’t matter then, he had really saved my ass, even though I didn’t deserve it.
***
“I want to thank you for making everything so easy for me Greg. I know you didn’t have to, but you made this so much easier than it should have been.”
Alfie had gone upstairs to his room and was getting his stuff together because the two of them were going to go play catch at the park. It was kind of cliché, especially considering Alfie had only used his mitt and ball once since I bought it for him a couple of years before, but it was cute. I was thankful that Greg was willing to do such things and I could already see that Alfie was over the moon about everything that was going on.
“Don’t worry about it. I know that it is going to be awkward, so there is no point in making it any harder. We have a lot to talk about later, but for now, I think me and Alfie are going to go out. Are you sure you don’t want to come?”
I shook my head and told him that I didn’t. Alfie was still acting a little strange about everything and I knew that he was mad at me. He had every right to be mad at me and I didn’t want to push it. He was the type, like Greg, that needed space when he was upset and I wasn’t going to make it any harder on him. He needed time and that was the least I could do.
When he got back downstairs, I was nervous to see him and waited for him to tell me good bye. It was a strange way to feel, like I was an outsider all of a sudden. But I had to accept it and hope that like everything else in life, that would change too. If nothing else, Alfie was going to have the father that he always wanted and Greg was sliding into the role rather quickly. He wasn’t the running type and it made me realize that I was going to have to figure things out with him as well. I didn’t know what that was going to look like, but there was a part of me that knew it was going to be okay. I shouldn’t have felt that way, there was surely nothing that was pointing into the direction of everything being okay, but I was convinced nonetheless that it was so.