Chapter Six

Sacha

Nearly two months had passed since the trip to Tilly, and I was on a roll. It seemed since I'd allowed myself to let loose and have a one-night stand, my luck really had changed. My attitude certainly had as well-now I no longer doubted I was meant to live the life of my dreams.

It had been announced at work that a large corporation was taking over the company soon. The merger meant more product lines, and hopefully a chance for smaller territories. As it was, I drove all over hell and creation on a regular basis. Melanie, when she actually saw me, joked that I was living in my car. It wasn't far from the truth.

"But that's what it takes to gain accounts. I've added several in the past few months, and they are consistent buyers so far."

Melanie had countered with the one argument I couldn't refute. "Your car is not a great place to raise a kid, though."

"That's why I need this promotion. Or at least a smaller territory."

I'd heard rumors that I was on the short list for the Regional Manager position opening up in Atlanta. It would mean more responsibility but less traveling.

That would be perfect. I'd already contacted a few adoption agencies where single parents were welcome. The approval process would take time, but I was moving forward, and that was what was important.

I had a rare Saturday with nothing planned, so Melanie and I went shopping that morning at a nearby outlet mall. I knew it was premature, but I couldn't help browsing the children's clothing and furniture shops. As we "oohed" and "aahed" over tiny baby clothes, Melanie made an observation.

"Your mom would love to be here doing this, you know."

I shrugged. "I know. I'm not ready to tell her until it's set. Otherwise, she'll be asking for updates every five minutes."

"I get it. But maybe she needs some hope too. I'm sure she was disappointed about not having grandchildren. God knows my mom has been pretty vocal about it, even though my sister has more than her share already with three kids."

I set down the pair of tiny baby shoes I was holding. Why was I tempted to buy them, when I had no idea how old the baby I adopted might be? This was becoming an unhealthy obsession. "That's just it. I don't want to get her hopes up. What if I chicken out? Or I don't get approved?"

Melanie touched my arm, a reassurance I desperately needed. "You'll do fine. You're going to be a great mom."

God, I hoped so.

If I wasn't a great mom, it wouldn't be for lack of preparation. I had everything planned out, from what foods we'd eat, to day care options, to which pediatricians were nearby, to which school my child would attend. But was I really emotionally ready to be a parent?

Is anyone ever ready for that?

I turned back to Melanie and touched her arm. Her faith in me was inspiring. "Thanks, Mel. I'm still nervous, but I know I'm meant do this."

We left the children's store and passed a lingerie shop. Melanie winked at me, pointing to a racy red plaid ensemble on a mannequin.

"So, have you heard from your mountain man yet?"

"No. And I'm glad. He was an ass."

"I thought you said he had a great ass. My mistake."

She was giggling, and I was trying not to. "He did. And he was. Case closed."

"Too bad."

I hadn't told Melanie I'd already searched for him online but came up empty-handed. I recalled his name was Gibson, but he never told me his last name.

It didn't matter. I'd almost forgotten him after my initial search. Until we parted, it had been fun-what I could recall of it. Exciting images of nakedness and pleasure comingled in my mind with fragmented moments of nausea and room-spinning. It was a wonder I hadn't thrown up on him.

There was a reason why I rarely drank, besides being surrounded by alcohol and in bars constantly. I was a lightweight.

"Well, it was a fun one-night stand. Nothing more. Now it's out of my system, I can forget about men and focus on becoming a mom."

Melanie high-fived me. "Right on, sister. And I'm going to be Auntie Mel."

Yes, things were falling into place just the way I wanted them.

~*~

I spent the rest of the day not doing a damn thing. I was in my pajamas at four in the afternoon when Melanie stopped by to borrow an iron. She held up a wrinkled satin blue dress that looked like it had been in her closet since the 'nineties.

"You sure you don't want to go out tonight? We're checking on this club where we might be having a gig soon."

I was searching in my closet for the iron, something I'd used only once since Mom gave it to me as a housewarming gift when I moved into the apartment. "Nah. I'm so tired today. I guess all that running around we did has caught up with me."

"Are you sick?" She made a cross with her fingers in warning. "Whatever it is, I don't want it."

The iron was still in its box, and I laid it on the coffee table. "Nah. It's like my period keeps trying to start but never does. I'm all bloated too. Another reason to stay home."

Melanie threw the dress over the back of a chair and flopped down on the sofa. "Well, it's good to see you relaxing for a change. Have your periods been erratic? Maybe you're getting into menopause. I mean, like pre-menopause. That's an actual thing."

"I doubt it. I'm not that old. Am I? And my periods have always been erratic."

The idea of getting old had been weighing on my mind lately. My biological urge to have a child had been strong for years, and I knew time was running out. That was also a reason to adopt instead of trying in vitro. But was my body really starting to change?

Melanie laughed. "Well, neither one of us is getting any younger. But at least I can still fit into this dress from my college days."

We were interrupted by a knock on the door. I looked through the peephole and let out a squeal of delight.

"Oooh! My Chinese food is here. I've been craving it all week."

After the delivery guy left, so did Melanie. I dined in front of the television and binge-watched Game of Thrones. I'd opened a bottle of wine but found it tasted sour, though it was one I'd had before and loved. Must have gone bad. I opened a can of ginger ale instead, and it helped to settle my stomach.

I hadn't told Melanie about the text I'd received that morning from my boss. He'd requested a meeting first thing Monday morning, at his office. He didn't disclose the reason, so my imagination had been working overtime. Either I was getting the promotion or being fired. Both scenarios caused anxiety, which I was trying to assuage by more binge-watching. It wasn't helping.

I didn't sleep much Saturday night. My anxiety had been so bad I even threw up a few times. Finally, I dressed and did some grocery shopping Sunday morning to get my mind off the upcoming meeting, but my stomach acted up again with all the sights and scents of food.

I'm falling apart. So not the time for this.

I was being ridiculous. Several people had told me they thought I was one of the hardest-working reps at the company. That reputation had been a challenge to earn, being a woman in what was traditionally a man's profession. I had overcome opposition and outdated attitudes among my co-workers, and even some members of management.

There was no way this meeting was going to be a bad thing. It had to be good news. I totally deserved it.

~*~