Sacha
I didn't want to laugh and forgive him. I had felt like a fool thinking Gib might be someone I could trust, but now I wasn't so sure. His explanation of what happened with that woman was plausible, but it still made me uncomfortable.
But when he was so near, his breath warm on my cheek, the citrus scent of his cologne invading my nose… It was hard to be mad at him. Not to mention his denim-blue eyes pleading for understanding.
Besides, I had no claim on him. Wasn't I the one saying I needed space? That we should keep it platonic and businesslike?
I had to respond, and the heat had gone out of my ire. "I'm not sure I believe your story, but… I didn't mean to scare you."
I knew he was joking about my temper. But what happened wasn't the end of the world, now that my anger was fading away. He was an attractive man, who probably had a string of women in his past.
"It's all right. Are we good now?"
"Yes. Please be honest with me from now on, okay? I won't tolerate dishonesty."
His face fell from a sexy grin back to the guilty-surprised look he'd had a few moments ago. My gut twisted again, for the second time that night. What now?
He pulled back but held onto my hand. "Sacha, there's some things I need to tell you."
I desperately needed a glass of water. The events of the evening had my head spinning, and my lower abdomen was tight. It ached like I was having a period-that sensation of nausea in the lower belly. I excused myself to the bathroom while he got me some water.
There was no cause for alarm, no bleeding, but now my lower back had begun to ache. It must have been the stress. I needed to relax before listening to whatever it was Gib was about to confess. I put on comfy pajamas and splashed my face with water. Then I joined him on the sofa, drinking an entire glass of water before settling back onto the cushions.
He'd changed into sweats and a tee shirt, and was holding a throw pillow on his lap, kneading the corner of it. His cheeks had gone slightly pink above his tawny beard, and I almost smiled at his nervousness.
Maybe I really had scared him. Good.
He took a breath and began, his voice solemn. "When I told you about how I ended up in Tilly, I left some things out. You never know when you first meet someone whether or not you can trust them, right?"
I nodded, because it was true, and gestured for him to continue. He did.
"I was distraught over the loss of my wife and unborn child. I've already told you that. But how it happened is why I ran away from my life in Atlanta. The bottom line-which I will never forgive myself for-is it was my fault they died."
The pain in his eyes was unbearable. I could sense he wasn't embellishing this. He'd choked on the words, and I reached out to squeeze his hand. "Go on."
He took a deep breath, and his eyes had darkened to the blue of a sea at dusk.
"Bianca was roughly eight to ten weeks pregnant and not having an easy time of it. She often felt tired and had morning sickness. Well, I was on a trip to the Bahamas on business. She insisted on coming, on the agreement that if she felt bad, she would return home without me to see her doctor right away.
"Everything was fine until the last day of our trip. I had a meeting that was supposed to close the deal. The client had been changing his mind, and I had spent a lot of time with him, trying to get a commitment. It was clear I was going to need a few more days to accomplish that. Well, Bianca was in some pain that morning, only minor, so she stayed in bed. There was a doctor on the island, a midwife of sorts, but she didn't want to be examined by anyone but her own doctor back in the states. She insisted she would be fine and wait until we could return. But by afternoon she wasn't feeling better, so I made the decision to put her on a helicopter which would take her to the airport in Nassau right away."
He ran a shaky hand through his hair. The other hand was balled into a fist. "She begged me to go with her, despite our earlier agreement. She wasn't in such pain that she couldn't walk, and she wasn't bleeding or anything severe. She just felt off. She had an almost irrational fear of going alone, but I felt she needed to be seen by her doctor as soon as possible."
He paused to put his head in his hands. My heart wrenched. I didn't want to hear what happened next but I had to. Maybe he had to tell it, to gain closure.
"It sounds like a tough decision."
When he looked up at me, his eyes were rimmed in scarlet, and glistened with tears. "It was a mistake to bring her with me. Anyway, I calmed her down and assured her the helicopter service was the best in the islands. She finally agreed to go, and I drove her to the small airfield where the helicopter service operated. We kissed, we hugged, and she waved at me from the window as they took off. It was the last time I saw her."
"Gib, you don't have to-"
"No, I do. I need to tell someone. I want you to understand."
"Okay. What happened to her?"
"The helicopter never made it to the airport, crashing on the shoreline after takeoff. It was a malfunction of some sort. They never were able to verify the cause from the wreckage. There were no survivors."
"Oh my God. That's horrible."
What else could I say? Guilt wound its way through my heart, for thinking the worst of him earlier. The poor guy had been through hell.
"Yeah. If I had let her stay, she'd still be alive today. As would our child. Or if I had gone with her, we'd all still be together."
The import of his words chilled me to the bone. He'd rather be dead and with his wife and child than to live without them. Suddenly it all made sense. He'd latched onto the baby and me to redeem himself.
"Oh, no. Don't think like that. You didn't know what would happen."
"Yes, but I made the decision to send her off. She wanted to stay, or for me to go with her. I chose business over my family, and believe me, that will never happen again."
Silent sobs wracked his shoulders as tears fell from his eyes. He brushed them away and sat with his head in his hands. It killed me to see a man so broken. It occurred to me he hadn't explained what business he was on in the Bahamas, but it didn't matter. Whatever he had done in his life before this horrible incident, he had left behind. He was a man who cared deeply, and for now, that was all I needed to know.
~*~