Thank god the food arrives. I hate this story, but I’ll admit Ben tells it well. I crack up every time, even though the laughs are at my expense. The most surprising part, though, is the look from Craig. Yes, it’s amusement, but there’s also something that looks a lot like … fondness. It’s confusing me.

Not only that, but I swear Craig is staring at my lips while I blow on my Tom Kha. Steam rolls off the soup in waves, so it’s an innocent enough action, but I keep doing it to see if it’s just my imagination. Maybe he’s not as straight as I thought. His eyes are still on my lips, and he shifts in his seat, but now that I’ve been so bold I can feel my face starting to heat up. I fan myself, trying to play it off like it’s just the soup.

“Spicy.”

Ben looks at me like I’ve grown two heads. Oh my god, I’m totally making it worse. Can I crawl under the table and die now?

Craig clears his throat and pulls his eyes away from me. “So what happened?” he asks Ben, who shovels another mouthful of his Pad Thai before continuing.

“Well, there’s this one freshman that catches my eye,” he says with a wink at me. “He’s wearing a hoodie, looking like he wishes he could crawl inside it and hide like a turtle. So what’s a shy kid like that doing wandering around the orientation booths, you might ask?” Like I said, he’s gotten good at telling this story. “His mom is there, dragging him to all the booths, introducing him to each group there.”

“No.” Craig gapes.

“Yes,” I mutter and pretend like my soup is the most interesting thing in the whole world.

“She’s obviously hitting up all the religious organizations, but she’s not very discriminating. She also drags him to all the fraternities, the a capella group …”

“I can’t sing,” I feel the need to interrupt. I really can’t. My mom went bat-shit crazy that week.

Ben laughs. “It’s true. He can’t hold a tune to save his life. Oh, and the intramural sports group! Zach was even skinnier and more noodle-y back then, if you can believe it. I mean, what sport was he going to play, quidditch?”

“Thanks,” I deadpan, and try to skewer Ben with my eyes, but he just grins back.

“You’re welcome!” he says and pauses for another bite. Meanwhile, my soup bowl is almost empty, not surprising with all the attention I’ve devoted to it, but Craig’s plate is still full. He’s so engrossed in Ben’s story that he keeps forgetting to eat.

“Mrs. Keller has a loud voice. A little shrill.” Craig’s eyes jump to me, but I can’t disagree. “And I can hear her several booths away. ‘Zachariah, did you know they have a True Love Waits club? My Zachariah is a virgin too!’”

Craig just about chokes on his rice, and he waves his hand in front of his face until he can breathe again.

Oh well. If he was feeling any attraction earlier, it’s guaranteed to be gone now. This is why I hate the story. So fucking embarrassing.

“Stop,” he says, still patting his chest like he’s making sure he’s not going to relapse into another coughing fit. “You have to be making this up.”

“I wish,” I grumble, and he shoots me a look that’s a strange combination of pity and admiration, probably because I’m still living and breathing and not dead after having suffered such an embarrassment. Little does he know that this story doesn’t even crack my top five embarrassing moments.

“As they get closer, she eyes our booth and then starts to guide Zach over to the other side. Totally maneuvering him around us, right?”

Craig nods eagerly, as if he knows Ben well enough by now to know he’d never pass up an opportunity like that. And he’d be right.

“This bi – sorry, Zach – this lady has been going to every single booth. I think she might have even stopped at the Black Student Alliance. But then tries to avoid us? So I run across the path and jump out in front of them. ‘Hi! I’m Ben, part of the Gay Straight Alliance, and we want you to have a gay GSA day! And a rainbow button.’ And this poor kid’s eyes get so big, as big as the fucking rainbow buttons, and he screeches. Seriously, I’ve never heard another sound like it before or since. He screeches, ‘I’m not gay!’ and bolts.”

Craig’s face is beet red, he’s laughing so hard. “Oh my god, Zach,” he says, as if expecting me to correct any of this story. Believe me, I would if I could.

“No, wait,” Ben says with a chuckle. “Zach bolts, but if you haven’t noticed yet, he’s not the most coordinated.”

I toss in another “Thanks” which he ignores as he presses on.

“So he stumbles, and falls into our booth. He reaches out to try to catch himself, but instead, he just pulls the tablecloth off and somehow tangles himself up in it while flopping to the ground. And our tablecloth is a rainbow flag. So there lies Zach, wrapped in a rainbow, while his mother yells at us, ‘Get away from him! He’s not gay!’ She wouldn’t even let us help him up.”

I roll my eyes. “Please, you guys were laughing too hard to help me up.”

“True. So true,” Ben says, laughing in earnest now.

Craig looks at me with tears in his eyes. I would say it makes him less attractive, but I can’t. Somehow it only emphasizes their depth and brilliance, and fuck, now I’m staring into his eyes.

“I feel so bad laughing at you right now, but oh my god.”

“Eh,” I wave him off, “I’ve had four years to come to terms with it.”

Funny how it’s easier to talk to Craig now that we’ve all spent the last thirty minutes laughing our asses off at me. I guess my subconscious realizes that what I always fear will happen has already come to pass, so it can’t get any worse. But damn, those eyes. And that sexy-as-hell eyebrow ring. At least I won’t be wasting my time wistfully wishing for him. Who needs the True Love Waits club when you’ve got this story?

“Wow, that’s …” Craig shakes his head. “I don’t even know what that is.”

“Ben felt terrible about it and hunted me down to apologize. If you can’t tell already, he can be quite stubborn. He wouldn’t leave me alone. I eventually forgave him, and he forced me to be his best friend forevermore.”

Ben bats his eyes and puts his head on my shoulder before I shrug him off.

“So you two really are just friends?”

I fake cringe. “Yuck, like I’d really want to date this big galoot.”

“Hey!”

I smirk at Ben’s put-upon expression. “Hey nothing. You deserve a little payback after telling that story.”

“He asked.” Ben points to Craig.

“Oh no, don’t drag me into it. You could have just said ‘We met while I was working at freshman orientation.’ Boom. Done.”

“Right?” I put my hand over my heart. “You are my newest favoritist person. Thank you. Together we will win the war against evil storytelling giants everywhere.”

I can’t fathom where my courage is coming from, but it only grows as Craig smiles back at me and says, “You’re my newest favoritist person too.”

Damn. My heart feels like it’s going to float away.

“Get a room,” Ben coughs, and my happiness plummets from its unnatural high. I stomp on his foot under the table. At least I can bring him down with me.