“Do you want me to drive?” Ben steps to the driver’s side when the valet arrives with the car, and Zach nods. “I think I’m only one coming out unscathed from that thing.”

Zach gets into the passenger seat and buries his head in his hands. “It was horrible,” he cries. “What was I thinking?”

“If it makes you feel any better, I got Shelby to admit that it feels amazing inside the Brown Palace.”

I can’t help the snicker that escapes. If I wasn’t taking the whole evening so personally, I probably would have found Ben’s antics a lot funnier. Instead, I was being drilled by Zach’s dad about my job and my school and my family. God, that one was the worst. “What does your dad do?” And the look of disgust on his face when I told him that I’d never met my dad. He tried to hide it, and covered with the stellar follow-up, “What does your mom do?” Thank god Zach interrupted that one. I don’t want to consider his reaction if I said that I wasn’t certain, since I haven’t spoken to her in eight years, but at that point she had just gotten fired from her job as a bartender for taking from the till.

Obviously Zach’s folks have an issue with him being gay. But even more obviously, if I were a straightlaced, churchgoing man with a job that required a tie, they’d probably get the fuck over themselves. I’m certainly not what they want for their son. For Christ’s sake, he finished college in three years. Three years! Another tidbit courtesy of Mr. Keller. And I couldn’t even get my head out of my ass long enough to think about college.

Zach’s cell phone startles me out of my depressing thoughts.

“This had better be an apology,” Zach’s hardened voice says into the phone.

He sits straighter in his seat and starts to look around. “No, we aren’t too far out. We’ll head over there now. Yes, all of us. We drove together, Mom.”

The call ends, but Zach remains on his phone, opening up the map app.

“We need to go to Denver Health.”

I’m not sure if he’s saying it to us or to the phone, but the automated voice repeats his directions and starts telling Ben where to turn.

“It’s Shelby. Apparently she doubled over in pain shortly after we left and had to be rushed to the hospital.”

“Oh my god, do they know anything yet?” I ask.

“No. Parker is with her. My parents are in the waiting room.”

We’re going the wrong way on the highway, but once Ben gets turned around, it doesn’t take long to make it to the hospital. Parking is a bitch, so Ben drops Zach off at the emergency room door, and then he and I drive around to find a spot. For once, Ben is totally silent as we make our way into the waiting room.

Zach is huddled with his mom and dad, handing tissues to his mother and rubbing her back in comfort. Ben and I stay near, but so close that it feels like we’re intruding. There are quite a few others in the waiting room; little kids with sniffles, an older lady in a wheelchair who keeps moaning. The padded vinyl chairs squeak when we sit down, and even though it’s not our fault, Zach’s mom still gives us a look like we’re disrupting church.

I hate hospitals, but I especially hate hospital waiting rooms. Mom would get drunk or high and get into an accident or otherwise hurt herself. I’d be the one to come pick her up. Even before I could legally drive, she’d lie about my age so that she didn’t have to spend the money on a cab. She’d hated that I’d ruined her youth, so she’d chased her teenage years at the expense of mine. And each time I’d get the call, I’d pace the waiting rooms, afraid of what had happened this time. Waiting rooms smell bad and have uncomfortable seating, true, but the real hell of them is that they twist and contort time into an eternity where you have no idea what the fuck is going on.

I watch Zach and his perfect family. No, they might not be perfect when it comes to attitudes, but they clothed and sheltered and fed him. They want him there to lean on, to comfort, as a part of their group during difficult times. They are family, and they absolutely do not want me to be a part of it.

“See, this is why I’m single,” Ben leans over and says in a low voice.

“I’m not following.”

“Look at you. Sitting there all nervous, trying to make sure they don’t hate you.”

I never realized Ben was so freaking perceptive. He hides it well underneath his goofy child act. “You can’t honestly tell me you don’t care what Zach’s parents think of you.”

Ben barks out a loud laugh and three sets of eyes pivot to us. Maybe I should distance myself from Ben, but no. They’re not going to approve of me either way. At least this way I have an ally. “Not appropriate, dude. At least pretend to be serious.”

“If Zach’s mom had any idea of half the things I’ve said to her or subversively gotten her to say, not to mention the shit I got Zach to do in college – remind me to tell you stories, by the way – then you’d know I not only don’t care what Zach’s parents think of me, but I’ve been pretty actively ensuring that they despise me. But you care. You know Zach cares, so you care, and here you are, twisting yourself into knots because you’re afraid they’re going to hate you.”

“I’m pretty sure they already do.”

I watch as a nurse comes out and talks to the trio. She escorts them through a set of heavy double doors. Zach’s parents don’t turn to us, not that I’m expecting that, but Zach doesn’t either. He follows them without a word to me or Ben.

“Zach’s mom, maybe, but you seemed to be getting along well with his dad.”

I slump lower in my seat, glad that Zach is with his family and I can have this time with Ben. Because he’s right. I’m wound tight under their constant gaze and threat of disapproval.

“That’s because he has a better poker face than his wife. But really, what’s he supposed to think about the video game store clerk who wants to date his genius son?”

“I’m a video game store clerk,” Ben reminds me.

“Yeah, who has a degree and a teaching certificate, and just got a job as an assistant teacher at the high school. I’m going to be Ted, at fifty, still playing video games and trying not to have to adult.”

“Ted owns that store, so if you’re Ted at fifty, you’re going to be doing well for yourself.”

Zach appears around the corner and I’m saved from a response. His normally pink cheeks are pale and frown lines mar his forehead.

“Shelby had a miscarriage.”

“Zach, I’m so sorry,” I say, because fuck. What do you say at a time like this? Even Ben drops the clown act to rest an arm around Zach’s shoulder.

“My parents are helping them get checked out and everything, and Parker’s going to take her home.”

“She doesn’t have to stay?”

Zach shakes his head. “I didn’t really stay to hear the specifics, but no, she’s free to go.”

Ben and I spare each other a glance, and I know we’re on the same wavelength. “Do you want us to take an Uber home so you can stay with them?” Ben asks.

Zach’s shoulders shrug, but before he can speak, his parents return to the waiting room, followed by Parker and a nurse pushing Shelby in a wheelchair.

Zach wrings his hands as he approaches them. “Shelby, I’m so sor-”

“This is all your fault!” Shelby screams, pointing at Zach and turning every head in the waiting room in our direction. “I let you corrupt my unborn baby and now I’m being punished. Get away from me! I don’t ever want to see you again, you baby murderer!”

Zach’s posture crumples, and I’m too stunned to react. Thank god Ben’s still got his wits, because he pulls Zach into his chest and shelters him from the daggers coming from Zach’s family. Even Zach’s dad, who gave the impression of not being quite so stuffy and judgmental, looks at his son with disappointment in his eyes. They parade out the front door without a word or glance to ease the guilt tossed Zach’s way. Without anyone saying how very wrong she was.

“Those motherfucking pieces of shit,” I say, thinking that at any other time, Zach would be proud of my complaining. But not today. He looks so defeated. I’ve seen sassy Zach and jealous Zach, teasing Zach and embarrassed Zach. But I’ve never seen him look so lost.

“They’re upset. She lost her baby. She has every right to lash out,” Zach says, partially muffled by Ben’s body. I want to be the one to hold him right now, but I don’t feel like I’ve earned the right. If I hadn’t been there, they wouldn’t have gotten so upset at Zach. He wouldn’t have been such an easy target and scapegoat.

“She has no right to say that shit to you.” Ben pulls Zach back by the shoulders and tries to drill his words into him with his eyes. “It was not your fault. You have to know that.”

Zach doesn’t argue the statement, but he doesn’t seem to agree with it either. It’s like all fight has left him, and I don’t know how to get him back. I don’t know if I’m even worthy enough to be the one to do it.