I’m on day three of this funk, and am seriously starting to despair of it ever ending. I suppose this is why Mom drinks – adulting is hard. But the drinking on Friday night only made things worse, as I was reminded first thing this morning when I arrived to open the store with Ben.

I apologized profusely, but Ben insisted, rightfully so, that it was Zach who needed to hear the apology, not him. I think my persistence warmed him up enough to hatch a plot to get Zach into the store, but not without a stern warning that I had better not fuck it up.

Just before lunch, Zach enters Game Over, and the tightness in my chest eases a little. His t-shirt is some nerdy thing about atoms. Last time he was in here, it was a play on the word pie and the Greek mathematical symbol, and with that realization a little more of my funk melts away. I might have a nerd thing. Actually, that’s not true, because I don’t have a nerd thing or I’d have recognized it before, working in a gaming store and all. Apparently I have a shy nerd thing.

I can see the tension behind his eyes, betraying his nerves at facing me again, and I find myself rooting for him as he takes deep breaths and purposeful steps toward me. He doesn’t know he has nothing to worry about, and truth be told, a part of me is totally interested in riling him up just so I can watch his carefully constructed control fall apart. I bet he’s amazing when he isn’t so self-conscious. But I promised Ben I’d be good, and I have to actually get Zach to trust me before I can have the privilege of unraveling him.

I shake myself out of that train of thought. He’s got a thing for Ben, and I’ll never be the one doing the unraveling, but maybe I can still get him to trust me. As he approaches the counter, a half-smile plastered on his face, I stick out my hand and give him my best grin.

“Hey again. We haven’t officially met. I’m Craig. I’m sorry for being such a dick the other night. I truly didn’t mean to upset you.”

Zach gives my hand a tiny shake and manages to stay a light shade of pink through the whole ordeal. “I accept your apology.”

It comes out sounding like a phrase he memorized in a foreign language. All the sounds and syllables in the right place, but without the inflection or meaning behind it. I wait. And wait. Is that all he’s going to say? I can’t handle the awkward silence, so I give in to the urge to fill it.

“Did you enjoy the rest of your night Friday? I hope I didn’t ruin it. I’ve had a lot going on and had too much to drink. I didn’t even remember being a jackass until my friend chewed me out the next day.”

“Oh. No, it’s … okay.” His poise is wilting, like he wasn’t prepared to do anything other than accept my apology. Certainly not hold a conversation. “I know I’m-”

“Zach!” Ben says as he comes from the breakroom. “You made it.”

Zach huffs a relieved breath, looking like he barely escaped the Spanish Inquisition by not having to finish his sentence.

“We’re headed to the Thai Opal for lunch,” Ben tells me, even though I already know. Why Ben wanted me to come along for lunch, I’m not entirely certain. He felt that in addition to my apology, it would help if Zach got to know me better, learn that I’m not a total asshole – something Victoria would be surprised to learn as well.

“I love that place!” I say honestly. “It’s my favorite, or maybe a tie with the Taj Mahal. I love anything spicy, innuendo fully intended.”

Zach’s eyes widen, and a garbled sound slips out between his firmly pressed lips.

“Would you like to join us?” Ben asks, then stifles a grunt. It doesn’t take a great imagination to guess that Zach kicked him, but I find reassurance in the knowledge that Zach has a feisty side.

Normally we’d take our lunches at different times, but Ben and I already tag teamed Ted this morning in order to get our schedules to match up. I’m only having to stay an hour extra to help with inventory in return, since that’s what Ted would be doing right now if he didn’t have to man the front.

“Sounds awesome! Let me go clock out and I’ll be right back.”

Zach’s face loses all traces of blush, replaced with the paleness of someone struck dumb with terror. Ben’s chewing his tongue to keep from laughing out loud. They’re whispering harshly, but straighten up and act like they totally weren’t arguing over me when I return.

“To the Thai Opal!” I announce and hold the door open for them with a flourish. Ben is the one that smirks at me, but I wink at Zach and he stumbles over the doorjamb.

Ben’s humming to himself and Zach is slouched and quiet as we walk the two blocks to the restaurant. I’ve apologized, but I still can’t shake the feeling that I need to do more. Be better. It’s not a feeling I’ve experienced before.

“Hey.” I gently touch Zach’s elbow to get his attention without startling him too much. His gaze flits to mine briefly before refocusing on the sidewalk in front of him. “I was hoping you’d let me buy your lunch? As an apology. I really feel terrible about Friday, and I’d like to try to make it up to you.”

“That’s okay,” he says. “Ben texted me earlier and offered to treat me to lunch.”

“If it means more cash in my wallet, I’m fine with the trade-off,” Ben says, turning around to hold the restaurant door open for us. “Order the most expensive thing on the menu, Zach. Make him really pay for being an ass.” He’s laughing as he says it, but his eyes show he means it, so I nod in agreement.

“Okay. Thanks, I guess,” Zach shrugs as we’re seated.

“You’re not supposed to thank me for trying to pay a penance,” I laugh. “You’re supposed to say, ‘Damn straight! And I’m getting cheese fries.’”

Zach’s eyebrows quirk, and Ben just shakes his head.

“Too much?” I ask innocently, which garners a nod from Ben and a small smile from Zach.

“Whatever, Regina,” he says quietly under his breath. Score.

We don’t wait long to order, since we’re all a bunch of regulars here, and soon I’m thinking of ways to get Zach talking.

“So how do you two know each other?”

“We met at school,” Zach says, to my surprise. I’d assumed Ben would answer, and that eventually Zach would feel comfortable enough with me to join in. Fingers crossed this means he’s warming up to me faster than expected. “CSU.” He nods in the general direction of campus.

“Roomies?”

He smiles at that, a full smile this time, and shakes his head. “Not until later.”

I look to Ben, who also has a mile-wide grin on his face.

“Okay, now I really have to know.” I lean across the table to where they are sitting next to each other. “Come on. Spill.”

Zach sighs back into his chair, covering his eyes with a hand. He peeks through his fingers at Ben, and obviously they are good enough friends that Ben can translate. I don’t care how embarrassing the story is, Zach is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I desperately wish I could ask him out, but those doe eyes directed at Ben leave little doubt where his affection lies.

“I was part of the Gay Straight Alliance in college.” Ben leans forward, commanding all the attention of the table. “And since I’m a bit of a loudmouth, I was voluntold to man the booth at orientation.”

“Voluntold?”

“Yep. It’s where they pretend I volunteered, but really they told me I had to do it.”

“I’m just going to go to the restroom for the next, oh, twenty minutes. Tell them to box my food to go.” Zach starts to stand, but Ben grabs his sleeve until he sits back down. I can’t help the grin on my face despite my jealousy of how cute these two are together.

“Sit your ass down. So. GSA booth. I’ve got this stack of flyers and cute rainbow buttons and I’m approaching everyone with them.” He emphasized everyone and gives Zach a pointed look.

“Weren’t you nervous doing that?” I know that’s not the point, but seriously, Ben must have balls of steel. I’m confident as hell in a gay bar, but I grew up in a place considerably more liberal than Fort Collins, and I still would have been nervous approaching strangers while waving my rainbow flag.

“Nah. I got comments from a few jackasses, but it was mostly a bunch of nervous freshmen. Which brings me to …”

Zach groans and covers his face again, but the story is halted by the arrival of our orders. Ben shovels in his first mouthful as Zach sags back into his chair with relief.

Right. Like I’m letting it drop that easily.