I have never called in sick, and yet for the last two days I have because I haven’t felt like leaving my room. I have never felt this way, like I was dying. It’s the only way to explain how my body aches right now. Every bone hurts. Breathing is painful. My heart … well, I’m not even sure that’s beating right now. Also, I couldn’t face Larry and the people of Sweet Briar, pretending everything is okay. They love Alex and I don’t think I have a decent poker face to play it off. They’d see right through me, and know instantly that something has happened.

And what do I say to her father when he asks why I’m on the outs with his daughter? “Sorry, Larry, but it seems that your daughter and I were having a bit of fun in these rooms at a sex club and I took her virginity. But hey, the best part is that I didn’t know her name or know what she looked like because everything is meant to be anonymous.”

Yeah, something tells me that Larry and I will no longer be friends, and I don’t even want to think about what he’d say to Alex. This whole situation is fucked up, and the worst part is that I don’t have Alex to help me figure it out.

I overreacted. There is no other way to say it. My brain took over and my heart died a little. Not only from my decision to walk away from Alex, but because I had been bothered by the fact that I took a woman’s virginity in a sex club. To find out it was Alex … I don’t know, I never expected her to be someone who needed to do that, but then again, I’m not someone who seeks out attention in that way. We both made choices we have to live with, and I was wrong to treat her like hers were bad.

When she told me that she needed me to leave the other night, I almost refused. I wanted to pull her into my arms and show her how much I love her. Truth be told, I wanted to pick her up and carry her to her room and make love to her as if it were our very first time again. But she wouldn’t have it. Not that I blame her.

I think the only thing saving me from going crazy is the knowledge that I’m the only one she’s been with. I don’t know what I’d do if there were more. It’s stupid to even think that since I’ve been with other women, but this club … I don’t know, it makes you think differently.

Every twenty to thirty minutes, I call Alex, only to have her phone go to voicemail. I’d give anything to go back and change my reaction. Actually, I’d rip into Jenica for violating our privacy. What if it wasn’t Alex I’d been with and Jenica said something? She could’ve ruined what Alex and I are building. I thought the whole point of Society X was to be discreet.

Thinking this has me looking up the number to the club. There is no way I want to talk to Jenica, but they need to know the damage they’ve caused. My thumb hovers over the phone number, waiting to be pressed. “Fuck it,” I say out loud.

“Society X,” the female voice answers.

“Hi, yes. I’d like to speak with the manager.”

“Is there a problem that I can help with, sir?”

“I need to report one of the employees for violating my privacy.”

“One moment, sir.” The woman puts me on hold without asking me any more questions. I get the sense that they take this type of stuff seriously.

“This is Bryce.”

“Are you the person I’d file a complaint with?” I ask.

The man laughs. “I’m the owner,” he says.

“Perfect. I am, or was a member of your club, but after a colossal mix up on one of my requests I decided not to come back. I also entered into a serious relationship, which brings me to my complaint. The other day, my girlfriend and I ran into Jenica, who proceeds to carry on about how my girlfriend was my partner in the rooms I was using. Bryce, neither of us knew this. It’s not a question I tend to ask women that I’m with if they’re frequenting your establishment, nor would I expect them to ask me. Needless to say, your employee has violated our confidentiality agreements and I’m rather upset.”

“I must ask, did you violate our rules?” he asks, as if his employee could do no wrong.

“Neither of us did, and frankly, I didn’t even want to be there. Thing is, my co-worker brought me there for lunch and Jenica wouldn’t take no for an answer. Now that I think about it, I’m sure she works on commission and probably has some quota that has to be met.” I finish by telling him about my application process and how I lied.

He sighs heavily. “I’ll refund your fee and give you and your girlfriend free access to the club for a year.”

I roll my eyes. Does he really think Alex and I will be back? “And that’s our only recourse? Free membership?”

“Certainly not. You can sue the club, but you have to prove her disclosing this information caused you harm.”

I think about what he says for a minute. The only harm is if Alex and I can’t get over this hump and end up breaking up. Short of telling him that I want Jenica fired, I don’t have much recourse.

“Personally, I think I’ve had enough of the club. Jenica’s lack of attention to detail has really ruined it for me, not to mention the humiliation my girlfriend and I experienced when Jenica blurted out our private details in a store.”

I hang up, not giving him a chance to respond. The complaint may be filed, but I don’t feel any better about it. However, at least he knows that his employees can’t be trusted. It won’t fix things between Alex and I either, but it’s something.

Lying in my bed, I know I have to do something. Alex won’t take my calls, and yet she’s upset because I walked away. So what exactly is she doing? I crawl out of bed and head for the shower. Her shampoo is still in there and I find myself smelling the contents instead of washing. But as it happens, ideas start coming to me on how I’m going to win her back. She’s the only reason I’m willing to stay in Portland. If she doesn’t want me, I’m going to finish the Sweet Briar project and cut my losses.

* * *

It pays to have connections. I briefly explained to Parker what was going on. I left out the club part, telling him that I made a mistake and have to make amends. The only way to do that is to find out where Alex is working today. Thankfully, he has Sandy’s number and gave it to me.

Sandy was very eager to help, giving me the address to where Alex and Dani were working. When she told me it was a baby shower, I thought I was stupid for even thinking about showing up there, but I’m a desperate man who wants his girlfriend back in his arms.

With my arms full of flowers and chocolates, I enter the venue where the girls are working. Women squeal and start clapping, until someone blurts out that I’m not the mother-to-be’s husband. I wink at all of them as I make my way toward Alex who is standing there with a ladle in her hand and her mouth hanging wide open.

Setting the flowers and candies down, I cup her cheeks between my hands and kiss her. I don’t care that her mouth is open or that she can beat me over my head with the large spoon. I kiss her because I’ve missed the hell out of her these past two days and she needs to know it.

“Kai,” she says my name with a tone that dates back to our first outing. I should take note and step away, cut my losses, but she’s too damn important to me to give up.

“These are for you,” I say, handing her the five-dozen roses I picked up. I look around for the pregnant woman and rush the box of chocolates to her.

“Sorry for the interruption, but you see, I love that woman more than anything. I think maybe I was in love with her the first time I saw her, and I really need her to forgive me.”

“What’d you do?” she asks.

I look back at Alex whose eyes go wide. Smiling, I turn back toward the guest of honor. “Rushed to judgment. Typical man thing, right, ladies?”

There’s a chorus of yeses, each making me feel about two feet tall.

“Do you love him?” someone yells out. I glance back at Alex, who looks at the woman and then me.

“I do.”

“Sweetie, don’t waste love on feeling the hate. Go after your man.” I want to hug, kiss, and twirl that woman around to show her my gratitude, but my attention is trained right on Alex. She sets her serving spoon down and takes cautious steps toward me. Dani is there, watching this all play out. She leans into Alex and whispers something in her ear.

It’s like everything moves in slow motion. Even the voices around sound distorted. Each step that Alex takes toward me, there seems to one step going in a different direction. She’s running at me or it’s a fast walk considering we’re only a few feet from each other.

I catch her in my arms and crash my lips against hers. We’re spinning slowly and everyone around us is clapping. This has to be one of the best feelings in the world. I say one of because if I have my way, Alex and I are going to have many more to come.

She slides down my body. Her cheeks are flushed and I know I’ve embarrassed her. Wrapping her in my arms, I shield her from the onlookers. “I love you, Alex. These past few days have been the worst I have ever experienced. I’m sorry for being a jerk and I promise you that it’ll happen again.”

Alex pulls back and looks at me. “What?”

“Oh, babe, you heard me. I’m going to mess up. I’m going to be an ass. I’ll come home moody, work late nights and forget things. I’ll leave dishes in the sink, dirty socks on the floor, and forget about the toilet seat. But the one thing that will never change is that I’m madly in love with you.”

“Shit, if she doesn’t marry him, I will,” someone says. Alex smiles. Yeah, that’s coming next … I’m not sure when but I have every intention of asking her to marry me. I don’t care if we haven’t been together long. Being without her is not something I ever want to be.

“I love you, too.”

“Now, will you move in with me? I miss having all your stuff everywhere. Your side of the bed is cold and your scent is gone. I need it, Alexandria. I need you.”

“Say yes!” they all yell.

“Alex, if you don’t, I will,” Dani adds.

“It seems that either I move in or you’ll have a harem of women living with you.”

I smile down at her. “There’s only one woman for me, and that’s you.” Our lips meet much to the delight of everyone in the room. It’s hard to smile while kissing her, but I am. This is good practice for when we get married, and I make a mental note to get everyone’s names so we can invite them.