I stretch my legs out in front of me, pointing my toes and putting my arms over my head. My spine cracks as I let my toes sneak out from the bottom of the blanket. The room is dark, except for a sliver of light coming in through the blinds on the windows.

The air is cool and comfortable. It’s not like outside. Out there, everything is so dry, and so, so hot. I roll over in the bed to see the blankets on the other side of it pulled back. The pillow Sean rested his head on hours ago looks like no one’s slept on it recently.

Maybe it wasn’t hours ago that he was here. It’s nighttime, but I don’t know what time it is. There’s no clock in the room. I feel present, though. I feel safe for the first time in so long.

I’m not hiding from anything. I’m not running. I’m just...here. Here, in this place, at this time, even though I don’t really know where I am or even what day it is.

Sean rescued me, I understand that now, but I can’t allow myself to think about it. The one man who’s been able to make this all better, wipe Dad’s debt clean and get me out of trouble is the one man I have to say goodbye to.

I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and put my face in my hands. In the darkness, I feel clear and calm. I can breathe for the first time in months. I know I have to go back to the hospital and check on Dad, and I know this feeling in temporary, but for the moment I feel okay.

And okay is much better than the alternative.

Stepping down out of the high bed, I pad over to the window, the soft carpet soothing against my bare feet.

I didn’t dream while I slept. I don’t dream often anymore. I don’t know if what I experienced at the hospital with Sean was a dream or something else. It felt good, though, even if it wasn’t real.

When Dad first got to the hospital, I dreamed a lot. Sometimes I would get up multiple times a night, woken up before I was ready by bad dreams. I’d dream over and over that my dad needed help and I couldn’t find him. I’d be in my car, driving far out into the desert, or sometimes I’d be on the beach, running toward the water, but I’d never get to the place where the edge of the water lapped against the shore. I’d know Dad was somewhere out there, and he needed my help, but I just couldn’t find him.

But last night, I didn’t dream. It feels good to not dream when you’re used to nightmares.

I pull back the heavy white curtains from the window. It’s almost daybreak. I peer up at the sky and see the heavy, inky blue-black start to waver, the beginnings of the sun floating just past the horizon. Its rays will begin to sweep over the sand and rock soon.

I wonder how long I was sleeping. I wonder when Sean will be back for me.

I go back over to the bed and lay down on top of the covers, where Sean was lying next to me last night. My fingertips come to my lips, where his mouth crushed me with the passion of what felt like a thousand kisses. More than that, even - too many to count. It was so intense, I feel like I shouldn’t allow myself to think about it. It was too good, and I want it to stay inside me as a memory. I don’t want to spoil it by thinking about it. I want that memory frozen inside me.

My body heats as I brush my fingertips lightly against my lips, and my body shudders. His touch was so pure, so needy, so hot. I feel myself becoming aroused, turned on by the memory of just his touch on my shoulder. My eyebrows crease in the middle as I allow myself to bring forward the memory of his strong hands parting my knees slowly, the way he looked at me.

No one’s ever looked at me like that before. I can’t imagine anyone looking at me like that again.

I sigh, my fingers trailing down my neck to my collarbone, tracing against my flesh, goosebumps plumping up beneath my fingers. I want it to be him touching me, his fingertips on my lips. I want him to come home to me and tell me that I belong to him now, forever.

I close my eyes and put my arms down at my sides, shaking my head. The beginnings of tears prick at my eyes as my body rolls over, face-down on the bed. I breathe in deeply, his scent lingering on his pillow, all around me, and I throw the covers on top of my body. I’m still so tired, and the blankets weigh down on me, holding me, swaddling me. I sigh deeply, letting my breath out in a shaky, soft moan. I squeeze my eyes closed tightly.

He saved me, and now he’s being taken away.

* * *

I open my eyes, but it’s dark. When I fell asleep, it was almost morning. I must not have been sleeping very long. It was almost morning the last time I thought of him. It was…

The door opens, and relief washes over me. It’s Sean. I hear his footsteps against the floor. My mind feels cloudy, uncertain, but I’m relieved that he’s back. It’s bittersweet, because it’s almost time to say goodbye. I almost wish I could have lived in limbo forever, the memory of his touch always alive on my skin. If he never came home to me, I would never have to say goodbye. I would never seen him again...but at least I’d know he’d be on his way home to me. He’d be leaving me in a state of suspended animation. Unable to move forward, but not willing to go back. I’d have to play the memory of his touch over and over inside my head.

But now, he’s home. He’s come back for me, only to give me away.

It’s okay. I’ll go back to the way everything was yesterday, before I met him. Before I knew him. Before I knew his touch.

I start to roll over onto my back, and I sit up slightly, resting my elbows on the bed. They sink down into the mattress. It’s still dark in the room, but I can make out his silhouette by the door.

He says nothing. He gets closer. He…

“Cherry,” his voice says. But he sounds different. That’s not how he says my name. It’s…

Heat floods my body as he reaches under the blanket, grasping both of my ankles with his hands.

It’s not Sean.

I don’t know who it is. But it’s not Sean.

I swallow hard, and I freeze. I can’t move, and I don’t know if I can speak because I don’t try to. His hands pull my ankles toward him and I slide down the bed.

But no, I can move. Frantically, my legs start moving on their own. I kick my feet and I grab the topsheet, grasping at it with fistfulls of the adrenaline soaring through my body.

I start to fight. He doesn’t expect it. Flailing, I my legs move under the weight of his grasp, and I almost slither out of his hands. Almost...I’m so close, but he slides me down the bed like I’m a swimmer trapped in the undertow.

“Get your hands off of me!” The words don’t sound like they’re coming from me. It’s like they’re coming from someone else, someone whose voice I don’t recognize at all. But it is me. I turn over and grab at the headboard as it slides away from me in the dark.

“Come here, girl,” he says. I can recognize his voice. I know him. I’ve met him. I kick harder, but the more I fight, the harder he grasps me.

The harder I fight, the harder he fights.

And he’s bigger than me. A lot bigger. He flips me over so I’m on my back again, and I see his silhouette up closer now.

It’s the man from the casino. The man who wanted to buy me. He’s come back for what he wanted before.

I gasp when I see his face, the rough outline clear as day, even through the dark.

But Sean promised nothing would happen to me. He promised…

Did this man follow us to the house? Has he been watching the house this whole time?

My mind races with questions. I go to a dark place inside my mind. And as the man pulls me close to him, I can feel his hot breath against my skin, and my body becomes stiff. He pulls me close to him and my stomach churns with disgust and anger.

“Your boyfriend didn’t want me to have you,” he sneers into my face. “But now I’m going to have you for free. That okay with you, darling?”

“He’s...he’s my…”

I can’t get the words out. Even now, I try to stick to the lie Sean told about us. I try to keep it up as though my life depends on it.

Because maybe it still does.

I struggle to swallow as saliva rushes into my mouth, but I can’t. My throat is tight and my cheeks grow hot. Every hair on the back of my neck pricks up, and I feel the back of my neck swells with cold sweat.

He knows Sean...how does he know Sean…

I go to a dark place inside my mind.

A very dark place.

And then I feel the hard, thick plastic of zip ties against my wrists, and my world flips upside down as he carries me out of the room like a ragdoll.

And then everything goes black.

* * *

My eyes flutter open. I don’t know this place. But I’m not harmed. My body is alright.

Panic churns inside me, but my body is alright.

I’m inside a hotel room. My eyes scan over my surroundings carefully. I try not to make any sudden movements, even though I’m alone.

This hotel is nothing like where Sean works. This hotel is a piece of shit. I can’t tell what the smell is, exactly. It’s like soap covering up sweat. It’s sour being covered up by sweet. It’s sickening, and I breathe shallowly, trying to ignore it, but it makes me feel sick.

My heart races inside my chest. The room is sparse, without much furniture, and dim. The ceiling light is busted, and as I look up, I close my mouth and my eyes because the ceiling is covered with dust. The only light is coming from a small lamp on the desk tucked into the corner, and aside from the bed and the chair I’m sitting in, the room doesn’t have much else.

The air conditioner hums noisily in the corner. I swallow and shake my head and hold my wrists where the zip ties were. My skin is red and puffy where the plastic dug in, but I’m okay otherwise.

I carefully walk over to the window and peel back a corner of the curtain. Bright sunlight bleeds into the room and I shield my eyes, trying to determine where I am.

I’m right off the strip. I can see if from here. Outside the window is a parking lot...it could be the same parking lot where Sean made me agree to go along with his plan. But this room is so different from the ones I saw before.

I’m not on a high floor. I can’t see very far. I’m probably on the third floor of this shit hole.

Acceptance starts to bleed into my consciousness, and my mind goes numb as I begin to recall what the man from the casino told me.

I don’t know whether I should even bother fighting now. I don’t know if it will do any good.

I sit back down on the chair.

I don’t know if I will ever see Sean again.

Looking over at the door, I wonder where he is, and where he went last night when he left me. He knew he was leaving me. I don’t know if the man who took me knew when Sean was leaving, or if he even knew at all.

I don’t know if I want to find out now.

I don’t know what the man meant when he said Sean didn’t want him to have me.

Sean knew that I was going to let this man use me so I could pay off my father’s debt? And he stopped it? Was it so I wouldn’t have to go through with selling myself, letting some stranger use me...or was it because he wanted to use me instead...

The numbness inside my head radiates out into my body as my body grows cold, and I shiver against the wall as I struggle to remain standing.

I want to give up. I don’t want to fight. I can’t fight any longer.

Sean did this to me.

I ball up my fists and clench my jaw. I trusted him.

And now, he isn’t going to come save me. He didn’t rescue me.

He captured me.

And now, I only have myself to rely on.

The realization that I never should have trusted Sean makes me sick. But it sparks something inside me. Something deep down, and hidden. And it brightens me from the inside, makes me feel a little spot of warmth inside my body, otherwise cold and tight and nearly trembling.

I want to survive. I have to survive. If not for Sean, and if not for myself, then for Dad. If he ever comes out of his coma, I have to tell him what a son of a bitch Sean is, and how he would never have wanted me to be with someone who would betray me like that. I want to know if my father and Sean were ever really friends to begin with.

If…

I look out the window again. The ground is three stories down, or maybe only two. If I could get the window open, I might be able to jump down. I might be able to escape.

I might be able to get myself out of here after all.

And I won’t cry. Not for Sean. Not right now.

Not ever.

I struggle with the window, trying to get it open. When it won’t budge, I look around the room for something I can haul at the thick glass to break it open.

With enough strength, maybe I can throw the chair at the window and break it. Just a small crack is all I need, and then I can chip away at it, little by little. I can do this.

I throw open the curtains and take a deep breath, and a cacophony erupts behind me.

I turn around quickly to see the door being thrown slammed , and it’s the man from the casino. He seems on edge. I cower into the corner of the room, tripping as I back up against the chair I was planning to use in my escape.

He walks up to me, his face hard but expressionless. I back up and collapse into the chair, my knees weak and unsteady.

Two figures come through the door after him as he strides over to me and sits at the edge of the bed.

“Why did you leave her in here?” one of the men says. “This isn’t where we take them.”

I know him; it’s Sean’s cousin. I would recognize him anywhere. He has the same broad shoulders and a face as handsome as Sean’s. But his face is devoid of any warmth. That sympathy I felt come off of Sean, that warm energy on him when I first saw him out on the strip, none of that is on his cousin. There’s no spark behind this man’s eyes. Everything’s dead inside. He can’t feel sympathy for me, because I don’t even know if he can feel anything for himself.

I see it in his eyes as he comes over to me, and I freeze in place.

I don’t remember his name, but it doesn’t matter. He’s one of Sean’s cousins. Fear overtakes me, from deep inside his bones. He doesn’t have anger on his face. No, what’s inside his eyes is far more insidious. There’s just nothing there. He has nothing to gain and nothing to lose. He’s the man I have to fear the most.

I swallow hard as my breathing picks up, but I struggle not to gasp. When he grabs each of my hands and zip-ties my arms to each of the arms on the chair, and then does the same to my ankles, I look past his stone fast to the other men, pleading silently for their help. I can’t help myself now. Not if I’m bound like this. There’s nothing I can do.

They’ve taken me, and now they’re going to break me.

Without Sean, I have nothing. He was the key to everything. He was the only reason I got out of this shit. But he’s also the reason I’m back in it. And without him, now that I’m bound in place, I have nothing.

I know what happens to the women who do wrong by these men. My ex, when he took me to the casino for my birthday last year, he used it to try to put fear into me. It didn’t work at the time, because I knew I’d never get involved with them.

Don’t think you’re going to run off with one of those thugs, Cherry. They might seem like they have everything, but if you cross them, they’re sell you out in a second, he’d told me. Do you know what they do? They give the girls drugs, they make them become addicted, and then they control them. Those girls will do anything once they’re hooked. They’ll sell their bodies to feed their need. They’ll wrap themselves around a pole, or worse. You don’t want that to happen to you, do you?

I told him I only wanted him, but he refused to believe me. And then he used it against me.

Don’t think of leaving me for one of those guys, he’d say. A lot of girls want the money or the status. But don’t think of it.

I left, but it was hard.

But for all the lies he told and all the times he cheated on me, he was telling me the truth when he told me that these men are dangerous.

I could tell they’re dangerous just by looking at them, though. The way I saw Sean...he looked like trouble.

He was trouble. And he still is, wherever he is right now.

“I’ll pay,” I say calmly. “I’ll give you the money I owe, if that’s what it takes. I have it. I swear.”

The man still standing at the door holds up a duffel bag and laughs. It’s the one that Sean packed up for me.

“You mean this? Yeah, that’s not your money. Sean can’t cover for you anymore.”

I shake my head and struggle in a small way against the restraints, but they’re too tight. I cannot move.

“Where is he?” I ask. “Where is Sean?”

“It doesn’t matter now, Cherry,” the man from the casino laughs. “He can’t help you this time. No one can.”

Sean’s cousin steps behind me and closes the curtains, shutting them tight. He steps around me and makes a lewd kissing face at me as he retreats from the room with the men.

“You’re going to have to pay your debt a different way now, sweetheart.”

When the door closes behind him, I realize I’ve been holding my breath as I exhale shakily. Tears start to quake through my eyes and I sputter a few choking sobs.

I feel lost. And now, I belong to them.