CHAPTER TWENTY
KIRA
My heart was beating fast, and blood pumped in my ears as I stared at the phone a second time. I didn’t remember sharing personal details about my workplace to Blade. How on earth did he find me?
“Um, I’ll be back soon, give me five minutes,” I whispered to Edel, then scurried towards the exit door. What the hell was Blade high on? How could he just show up at my workplace like that? I didn’t like the stress he was putting me through. I was yet to adjust to the new position Penny had given me, and now this?
“What a day!” I threw my hands in the air and blew out a breath of frustration. I found him just across the other side of the road opposite the Daybreak Journal building standing right next to his car like he’d said.
From the way he was dressed, no one would suspect he was Blade of the Trash Monkeys. He had cut his hair, his face was clean shaven, and he wore ordinary clothes—no designers or anything, just a simple pair of denims paired with a blue tee-shirt.
His eyes were covered with dark black shades. He leaned against his car and crossed his arms over his chest.
My fury fled as I stared at him. All the feelings I had bottled up within threatened to come to the surface. He was even more handsome now than the last time we’d met. He looked different, he looked transformed.
“Blade! You shouldn’t have come.” I hurried towards him in panic mode.
“I’m sorry, Kira. I know I lied to you, I was dishonest from the very beginning. I broke your heart, and I hurt your feelings. Can you forgive me?” He rushed out the words.
I could tell from Blade’s voice that he had a lot of things to say to me, but this was not the place or the time for this type of conversation. I just wanted him to leave. I didn’t want to raise any brows at the office—already Edel was suspicious. My friend could read me like a book, and that was not a good thing. I didn’t want anyone to know about my relationship with Blade.
“I forgive you, just leave!” I snapped at him.
“Kira,” he drawled my name and reached for my hands.
I wanted to resist him but complied and let him grasp my hands so I wouldn’t draw any attention to us.
“I know you’re still mad at me, but I can’t do without you. I have never connected to another woman the way I connected to you. Please give me another chance, just one chance, and if I mess up, you’re free to let me go, I promise.” He was begging, he was pleading, but what happened to the favorite saying: once bitten, twice shy?
Blade had beaten my heart with his lies a lot of times, he’d tricked me into trusting him, he’d tempted me to him with his deceitful, kissable mouth.
As I looked at him right now, I knew I still felt something for him. A part of me would always love Blade, though it was difficult to admit, but what was love without dignity?
I loved him! Yes, I really did, but I also had respect for myself. I wasn’t the kind of woman who foolishly lost herself in love, who let a man lie to her time and time again without calling it quits and moving on. I had no time for drama, and everything about Blade was related to that.
Images of our wild partying and his heady drinking pierced my mind. If I were not a very disciplined person, he would have lured me into his life of instability. Blade had all the money, the fame, the power, but there was a hollow place deep down in his soul that needed to be filled up. I had no patience to tolerate his behaviors and I would tell him just that.
“First, I am not going to ask how you knew my workplace. I guess you know what I do for a living now.” I paused as he cut in.
“Starburst gave me a hint, and I hired a private investigator. You mean so much to me, Kira, and I am also sorry about the things I said about journalists. I was mistaken to judge the whole by other’s greed.”
I released the breath I had been holding. “So you thought by going out of your way, which is spying on me—or should I call it stalking? Did you think I would be thrilled by your visit? I am not a schoolgirl, Blade, and things like this don’t excite me. I know what I want: I want loyalty, trust, commitment, and you don’t have any of those things.”
He almost took off his shades but stopped as he remembered who he was and where he was.
“I am clean, Kira. It took a lot of hard work, but I decided to go to outpatient rehab, and I even see a psychologist twice in a week. I realized my problem was rooted in some traumatic childhood experience and I am willing to fix that. I am willing to work on myself. Just be patient with me, because this road is not easy, but I am fighting to overcome my shortcomings. I’m willing to fight for you, Kira. My love for you is as real as it gets, baby.”
I scoffed. He had said almost the same thing the first time I’d threatened to break up with him.
“Listen up, Blade, I know you are working hard to define yourself, but don’t do it because of me. It’s not that I don’t care about your traumatic childhood. A lot of people suffered some pain while growing up, but they didn’t let it get to them, they fought that pain, buried the demons of the past, and triumphed. You’re making excuses all over again.” I was not pleased with his reasoning.
He fell quiet as if thinking about the next thing to say.
“What do you want from me, Kira? I just want to know.”
Gladly, I was ready with my answer. “I want you to stay the hell away from me and don’t ever come back here.” I pointed at the Daybreak building.
He flinched at my harshness; he had never seen me this way. I didn’t mean to be rude but I needed Blade to know his place in my life. I needed him to know that I was over him and I was no longer interested in getting back together with him because he needed to learn he needed to be clean for himself.
“If that’s what you want, I’ll respect it.” He seemed puzzled but managed to make me melt inside from the way his eyes pinned me to the spot.
I had to give myself a mental shake to make myself jump into action. “Thanks, Blade, for respecting my wishes. I need to get back to work now.” I gave him one last teary-eyed glance and spun on my heel, still feeling his eyes on my back.
I felt sad that we had not ended on a good note. I still loved Blade, but he was not the kind of man for me. I didn’t believe he loved me the same way I loved him. I was still hurting and I wanted him to keep his distance.
My eyes grew wide with astonishment as I met Edel at the entrance. It seemed she had been watching me the whole time. Shit! This was not good.
“Who was that? He looked handsome and sexy.” She winked.
“Um, just someone I met in the library,” I blurted out the fib. Damn, I was no better than Blade, I mused to myself.
I didn’t like the way Edel was staring at me. She asked, “You go to the library a lot?”
I quickly affirmed with a nod. “Don’t you think that’s possible?”
Edel chuckled. “Relax, baby girl, not doubting you. It just that the guy doesn’t appear to be a library kind of guy.”
My heart stopped the minute she’d said that. I hoped she hadn’t recognized Blade.
“Think whatever. Now you have to help me move my things out of the office.” I was yet to tell her and Tom that Penny had demoted me until I brought in a huge story.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Edel asked.
“Exactly what you’re thinking. Ms. Horn-Rimmed Glasses demoted me, but I can’t blame her. I should step up my game, she’s really kind. Other bosses would have let me go ASAP.” I was grateful that Penny was yet to consider that option.
“You believe that? Penny would never let someone like you go. I know you didn’t fetch her a huge story, but you’re one hell of a writer, darling.” Edel moved closer to me and pulled me into her arms for a comforting hug.
“Thanks, I feel better.” I smiled.
I loved my friend Edel. She always knew what to say or do to make me feel better, but I just couldn’t let her in on my relationship with Blade. That would be my secret until the end of time.
The moment we stepped into the building, I noticed that all workers, writers, editors, and heads of departments were gathered in a circle with Penny in the middle.
What now? I wondered.
What was this big meeting about?
“As you all know, the Journal has not been making a lot of revenue for some years now. We’re still researching the cause of this downfall. For that reason, if big stories don’t come out frequently, I have been left with no choice but to drop some people.” Her steely eyes searched the crowd, then lingered on me.
What was Penny up to? Was she sending me a message?