CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
KIRA
I was hesitant at first. I didn’t want to go to any club or attend any party. I felt Edel was being too light-hearted about this whole thing. She wouldn’t allow me to mope.
“Hey, I thought we were supposed to be having a pity party.” I glanced at her.
“Humph! Are you kidding me? No pity parties allowed. Let Penny do whatever suits her, but I am not losing my job.” Edel rolled her eyes and increased her speed. “Can we take your car? I’ll drive us to Club Seduction,” Edel asked.
“Sure, but drive the speed limit. I don’t want any tickets going on my spotless record. I know you like to drive fast,” I warned her.
It seems I was the only one out of my two friends who was worried about keeping my job at Daybreak Journal. I had spoken with Tom some hours ago, and he had seemed unperturbed.
“Okay, but listen, Kira. This is life, and you only get to enjoy it when you’re young. I am not asking you to throw caution to the wind, although that wouldn’t be a bad thing either.” She paused.
“So what are you asking of me?” I wondered.
“Just loosen up and let yourself go for a change. Forget Penny and have a beautiful time tonight. I wanted us to go to a club if possible, to find ourselves some hot dudes to flirt with, because of the uptight behavior you’ve displayed these last few days at the office,” she said.
That got me laughing. This was the first time someone was calling me uptight. Last I checked, I was very down-to-earth and simple to deal with.
“You’re calling me uptight now?” I narrowed my eyes at her.
“Yep, you’re too serious, always gloomy, and I don’t even understand you anymore. If Penny wants to let you go, then she is risking one of her Journal’s finest assets. There will always be a solution to any problem, a way to manage it at its worst. I am very sure we’ll find a place to pitch our tent should Daybreak let us go,” Edel elaborated.
I knew it wouldn’t be easy to get to this level of positivity. Edel and I were different in so many ways. She hardly got discouraged or depressed, she was a fighter, and she never gave up on something she believed in.
“Okay, I hear you. I will try to relax, drink, and smile at any guy who comes my way.” I accepted her offer.
“Do you promise?” She slid her glance my way for a second before returning it to the road.
“Yes. I promise.” I nodded.
I fell into that dark part of me the moment we arrived at Club Seduction. It was one of the biggest clubs in this part of town. I had a strange feeling as I stepped out of the car.
“Are you okay?” Edel noticed I was not all right.
“Yes, of course I am. Let’s go inside,” I affirmed.
But deep down I felt horrible as all the memories of Blade and I making out in the club rushed back. His heavy drinking and drug abuse played back, and my tummy clenched.
Walking into this club was like welcoming Blade into my life; it was like walking into destruction, defeat, and heartbreak. It was complicated.
“Can I see your IDs, beautiful ladies?” A young guy in a dark-gray shirt and blue jeans offered me a smile.
I had a feeling he was flirting as I found his attention on my boobs.
I bet he wanted every woman that stepped through the door. He’s such a man whore, I thought to myself.
“I like your shirt…is that Gucci?” Edel licked her lips seductively, to my amazement.
I never knew she had it in her to flirt.
“Tommy Hilfiger, actually. My boyfriend got it for me at the New York Fashion week.” He grinned.
I almost laughed as Edel’s face fell, realizing the guy was not into women. Then I had to reprimand myself. He wasn’t into my breasts.
“I love your dress. I couldn’t help but stare, it’s exquisite,” he said to me once I offered him my ID.
“Thanks.” I smiled, relieved he wasn’t such a man whore after all.
“Can you stop wearing that frown? It makes you seem unapproachable.” I teased Edel as we marched into the club. I knew she was still disappointed about the good-looking guy at the door. Edel was the kind of woman who was attracted to men with excellent taste in fashion, so I could see why she’d been drawn to him in the first place.
“He’s such a downer. I can’t believe I wasted my flirting skills on him.” Edel placed a hand against her chest in disappointment.
This amused me all the more, but I had to keep myself from laughing so I wouldn’t annoy her. “Just let him go. You’ll find someone else to administer your flirting skills on.” I chuckled.
“Whatever.” Edel dismissed my words with a wave of her hand.
The music that played in the background was a mix of heavy metal and rock. It was not loud, but the vibration from the beat went through my body. I was surprised. I had expected an atmosphere charged with nothing but young people who danced off their high to too-loud beats, but the club was quite tame on this lower level.
“The club isn’t as bad as I first thought,” I remarked.
“Yes, Club Seduction is very disciplined. The ideal place to find a good man to date. But if you want fun, there’s another room on the upper level to watch strippers. I can take you there,” Edel suggested.
“What? No! I’d rather have a drink,” I countered.
“That’s why you were not able to give Penny a huge story. There’s a part of you that is holding back something.” Edel led us to the bar where I dropped my purse on the bar area.
Her words pricked me; she was talking to my ego now.
“Why would you say something like that?” I was a bit offended.
“It’s the truth, Kira. You take a lot of things and opportunities for granted. You could easily get to the fun room and watch strippers, interview one of the girls after, and get a fascinating story out of her. But you choose to stay at the bar…you prefer comfort to risk-taking.”
“You don’t have the right to talk to me like that, I don’t like it.” I was upset Edel would be this insensitive. I didn’t care if she was telling me the truth, I just didn’t like the way she’d presented it.
Maybe I was not a risk-taker; if I were, I would have released the story on Blade that would have landed me a lot of juicy contracts in various media houses. I just didn’t have the stomach for mischief. Doing something so shady didn’t translate to success in my world.
I believed in the straightforward manner of doing things.
“I have the right to speak to you any way I want, and there’s nothing you can do about it because you are my friend,” she stated and then called to the bartender.
“I would like scotch on the rocks,” she said to him. “What would you like?” Edel asked me.
I ignored her and faced the bartender. “I don’t care for anything, thank you.”
“Somebody is really upset.” Edel giggled.
“I wonder why?” I replied in a snippy tone.
Edel ignored my snippiness. “One more thing, Kira. I think you had a story to submit to Penny, but you just chickened out at the last minute. I don’t know if I am right, but my instincts tell me so. You’re still hiding something, and I will find that out sooner or later.” She grinned and took the glass from the bartender.
I’d had enough of her insults. She didn’t know what I had passed through so she didn’t have the right to judge me.
“You know nothing about me, nothing about my history. I think you should focus on finding big stories as well because last I checked, you were losing, and Penny is only keeping you there out of pity. I am just friends with you because no one in the office would want to be friends with a weirdo who walks like a turkey!” I yelled in her face, grabbed my purse, and hurried out of the club.
Edel had a horrific look on her face after I had told her a piece of my mind.
“Shit!” I cursed as I stepped out of the club.
The moon illuminated the night sky, its presence pouring out beauty on all mankind. The scent of clean, fresh air caressed my nostrils. Letting off steam should have invigorated my spirit, but instead of feeling refreshed, I felt like a horrible person.
“I messed up.” I closed my eyes and leaned with a heavy heart against my car.
I shouldn’t have walked into the club knowing how messed up I was. I shouldn’t have spoken to Edel that way when all she’d done as a good friend was tell me the straight truth and not the sugar-coated shit even though I feel bad by her words.
Tears rushed down my face. I was still not over Blade. I had walked into that club with anxiety and tension and I had poured out all the anger and pain I felt on Edel, who did deserve what I had done to her, by the way.
How long would I keep the memory of him in me and allow it to crush my spirit? Blade had hurt me really bad, he’d broken my soul, and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t shake him out of my memory.
I needed to get the hell over him! I needed to move forward without looking back. Blade had done nothing but bring sorrow to my life. I was still suffering emotionally and psychologically from the things I had experienced at his hands. He’d lied to me, deceived me, and made me feel unworthy of his love.
“I can do this, I can get over him.” I had to get a grip on my emotions.
I was already claustrophobic and aqua-phobic, I couldn’t be club-phobic or party-phobic because of my experiences with one man.
I took a deep breath and marched towards the entrance with confident strides. I would get into the music, I would drown myself in fun and drinks. That was the only way to break his hold over me.
“Um, have you seen my friend?” I asked the bartender when I returned.
“The one with the funny accent?” he asked.
“Her accent is not funny!” I barked at him.
He immediately apologized. “I’m sorry, she left with a guy.”
I guessed she was lucky. I felt terrible for what I had said to Edel. I would make it up to her the first chance I got. In the meantime, I sent her a text.
I’m sorry. Thank you for being my friend. Please be careful, and if you need me, I’m only a phone call away. Love you.
“Tequila.” I put my phone away and drummed the bar slab with my fingertips.
“Okay, coming.” He nodded.
The slow music piped through the speakers, and neon lights splashed on the dance floor as the DJ hit the club with the latest songs. I peered and arched my neck towards the dance floor, trying to see if Edel was there with her man or if she had left the club altogether.
“Here you go, miss.” The bartender placed my drink in front of me.
“Thanks.” I grabbed the crystal tumbler and poured the hot liquid down my throat immediately. It burned my belly and set me on fire. Burn, baby, burn. “You know what?” I grabbed my purse and fetched a fifty-dollar bill from my wallet. “I need six shots. Line them up and keep the change.”
“Sure thing, lady,” the bartender looked perplexed, but he gave a slight shrug and moved to get my drink order.
I needed to forget. I needed to take a risk, to let all my inhibitions down. I smiled as I watched people dance to an old song, the Black-Eyed Peas hit, Party.
The bartender returned with the shot glasses. “Here ya go.”
“Thanks,” I murmured, then rubbed my palms together as I stared at the small glasses before me.
“I can do this,” I whispered and closed my eyes. I opened them at the blast of a new song, then brought the first glass to my lips.
The tequila ignited a fiery sensation in my guts, but that didn’t deter me. I moved to the second, to the third…then finally the sixth. I couldn’t feel my legs anymore; my mind was numb. My brain swirled, flashing different scenes, the laughter from the club a noisy bell to my ears. I didn’t feel any more pain.
“Excuse me, miss.” The bartender moved towards me.
“Who me?” I pointed at myself with my thumb and giggled for no reason. Then suddenly I became dizzy. Then everything went dark.
****
THE MORNING AFTER…
I don’t know how long I had slept and where I was, but I knew I was someplace safe. The bed was unnaturally soft, and the pillows were very comfortable. My eyes fluttered to the bright line of the sun that found its way into the room.
A quick glance at the grey-colored walls, the paintings of old, and the chandelier made me realize I was not in my house.
I straightened on the bed, pushed the duvet off me, and to my utmost horror, I found a man lying naked beside me.
“Ah!” I screamed.
What have I gotten myself into? I didn’t plan to fall into the arms of a total stranger! I was not a one-night stand!
“Good morning, darling, how was your night?” He climbed out of bed and got into his pajamas.
I recognized him immediately. “Wait, are you…?”
“The guy your friend was trying to flirt with. Don’t be scared, we didn’t have sex. You should be thanking me. I saved you from some unsavory characters.” He smiled.
“Then why were you butt naked?” I asked.
“Look, pretty lady, I fear vaginas, so you have nothing to worry about. I sleep naked—my doctors said this is good for a healthy penis. I’m Trey Burke, by the way,” he replied.
“Oh.” I swallowed. “I’m Kira Martin.” I guessed Trey was telling the truth because I was still wearing my clothes. My underwear was still intact plus, I didn’t feel any weird sensation down between my legs, so I was safe.
“Honey, I didn’t touch you. I would never violate a drunk woman, or man for that matter.” He walked up to me and grabbed my shoulders.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“You are welcome, Kira Martin.”
“Kira…” I stuttered and felt a sharp pain in my head. I searched my thoughts, trying to recall everything that had taken place, but I was blank. The only thing I remembered was my fight with Edel. “Fuck.” I moved to the bed.
“Just relax. You need to clear your head. Here’s your purse.” Trey came back with my purse.
“Thanks.” I opened it and grabbed my phone at once.
Twenty missed calls!
“Geez, this is bad.” I ran my fingers through my hair. The time was eleven; I was late for work! This would give Penny a good enough reason to fire me. Fifteen missed calls were from Edel, two from Tom, and three from Penny Crisp. I checked my messages and was surprised to find some from Penny.
Where are you, Kira? Get down here as soon as you get this message! Penny texted.
“Are you okay?” Trey offered me a bottle of water.
“Thanks, I could be better. Thanks again for your help. You are a great guy, Trey, and I will never forget your kindness, but I have to go now.” I stood up from the bed.
“You can’t leave like that, you need to take a shower and eat something, you need to get the liquor completely out of your system,” he said to me.
“You don’t understand, Trey. I have something important to do, I just have to leave,” I said to him.
“If you insist.” He shrugged.
‘Thanks.” I put on my sandals, grabbed my purse, and hurried to the door. I was going home straight, where I would shower and prepare for work.
“Kira!”
I turned and faced him.
“Look, I don’t know what you’re going through, but you have to deal with it. I’ve been in your situation a couple of times and I can testify that alcohol doesn’t solve problems. Just let the pain in. Time will always heal all wounds.”
His words made sense. ‘Just let the pain in, time would always heal all wounds.’ I wanted to ask him a question: what if the pain was too big? What if the burden was too heavy?
Instead, I smiled and showed my gratitude by offering him a hand. “Thanks for everything, Trey.”
“Welcome, Kira…”
I took the elevator and landed on the last floor of the apartment building before finding my way out.
I waved down a cab and jumped in. Something was going on in the office, and I was missing out. What if the layoff had begun? Would I be the first to lose my job?
I thought of Edel and the mean things I had said to her. I felt ashamed of my actions. I knew she was still mad at me, and I was going to make it up to her.
I paid the cab driver to drop me off at my apartment. I needed a hot shower and some Tylenol. I knew Edel was with my convertible, and I didn’t mind, because I knew the car would be safe with her.
“Finally!” I rubbed my throbbing temples and released the breath I had been holding as I stepped into my home. I needed those painkillers as soon as possible.